- Why New Jersey
- Why not MSG?
- SERIOUSLY, WHY NEW JERSEY?!?
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| Courtesy of WWE.com |
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| Courtesy of WWE.com |
Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman address the WWE Universe.
I can’t hear Lesnar’s theme without envisioning that super fan dude doing the Brock Hippity Hop.
#WWE#RAW
— WrestlingHipster (@WrestlingHipstr) August 21, 2012
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| Gif courtesy of ilovewrestlinggifs |
Look at Brock Standing There with That Arm Breaking Grin on His Face …
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 21, 2012
Do not listen to Lawler. Lesnar vs Triple H did disappoint.
#wwe#Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) August 21, 2012
Paul Heyman calls referee Scott Armstrong to the ring.
See That? Scott ArmSTRONG! Just Try and Break it, Brock!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 21, 2012
Scott Armstrong deserves entrance music.
#wwe#Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) August 21, 2012
Paul Heyman declairs Brock Lesnar the King Of Kings.
Paul Heyman is The Master of Promos. Paul Heyman is The Master of Emphasis. PAUL HEYMAN is the MASTER of Repeating the Same Words Repeatedly
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 21, 2012
Paul Heyman dubs Brock Lesnar the new “King Of Kings.” Triple H has to hand over the rights to the Motorhead theme & the Wrestlemania 22 Fur
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 21, 2012
I Think It’s Time for Brock Lesnar, Our New Lord and Master, to Meet Sid Vicious, The Master of the World. Good Gawd! Think of the Promos
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 21, 2012
Match 01: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth/Sin Cara vs. Prime Time Players/Cody Rhodes
Kofi! Put those wrestling buddies down! R-Truth stole them off the back of a truck! The police are looking for him!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 21, 2012
If Kofi Kingston Is Superman, The R-Truth is Bizarro Superman, Emphasis on the BIZARRE.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 21, 2012
Kofi “Superman” Kingston teaming with R-Truth and Sin Cara. He’s forming the WORST Justice League ever.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 21, 2012
@donnybrookboys I’ve been saying this for months. I’d love it
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 21, 2012
Cody Rhodes has nothing going on right now. His talents are being wasted.
#wwe#Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) August 21, 2012
I must know what Khloe thinks of the Primetime Players theme song.
— SunnyDewhite (@SunnyDewhite) August 21, 2012
Titus O’Neil’s Bark Sounds Like a Pound Puppy.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 21, 2012
Man, all these dudes are going to get sucked into Sin Cara’s Vortex of Botch
— Bill S. Preston, Esq (@Miss_Dani_Baby) August 21, 2012
Winners: Kofi Kingston, R-Truth and Sin Cara
Backstage: AJ Lee is talking with Matt Striker. David Otunga returns and tells AJ Lee she needs a legal consultant. He accidentally uses the word crazy so AJ punishes him by putting him in a match with an opponent of her choosing.
David Otunga returns, but his goatee has been released.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 21, 2012
David Otunga, Free Legal advice at LegalZoom.com .
#RAW
— Posh Nachoman (@WellYoureWrong) August 21, 2012
Otunga should leave again.
— Bob Sacamano (@TimExiled) August 21, 2012
Match 02: Ryback vs. Not Stansky and Rosenberg
AW SHIT RYBACK IS HERE AND HE’S READY FOR DINNER
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 21, 2012
I wish they added this to the beginning of Ryback’s theme. It’s a much better Feed Me: youtube.com/watch?v=IZuKMo…
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 21, 2012
“Ryback Reads 2 Books At a Time” – Michael Cole. Cole, You Know The Ryback Confuses the Words Read and Eat a lot, Right?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 21, 2012
2-3 books a month? Ryback must have got himself the “Diary of a wimpy kid” book-set.
#Raw
— Jake Jones (@Batman_Infinite) August 21, 2012
Ryback is more RVD than goldberg, his eyes are always red. He’s the only one who still wears 1992 airbrushed stuff.
#RAW
— Posh Nachoman (@WellYoureWrong) August 21, 2012
Jinder Mahal tries to attack Ryback but fails.
LOL, Jinder Mahal hit the bricks pretty quickly.
#RAW
— Posh Nachoman (@WellYoureWrong) August 21, 2012
Winner: Ryback (via DQ)
Backstage: Chris Jericho is interrupted by Dolph Ziggler who demands a rematch. Jericho and Ziggler argue until AJ literally skips between them. AJ makes Dolph Ziggler vs. Chris Jericho tonight. If Ziggler loses, he gets the Money In The Bank briefcase. If Jericho loses, his contract with RAW is terminated.
Jericho is wearing the “CM Punk Tuxedo”
#RAW
— Posh Nachoman (@WellYoureWrong) August 21, 2012
@keepitfivestar Man, GM”s must really not like Jericho’s contract….or his band Fozzy…..
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) August 21, 2012
A better stip would have been if Jericho lost, he has to quit Fozzy.
— Tom (@TomQWood) August 21, 2012
Backstage: Alberto Del Rio walks to the ring. RicRod tries to hand him water but Del Rio flips out.
Damn. Del Rio doesn’t like water.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 21, 2012
“What’s On Alberto Del Rio’s Mind?” – Michael Cole. Well, He Did Just Say AGUA 15 Times Just Now Cole. Way to Go, Investigative Journalist.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 21, 2012
Alberto Del Rio demands to fight Sheamus for the title right now. As he rants, AJ Lee interrupts him.
AJ had a evil gnome put a spell on her that AJ thinks she’s in a perpetual game of SKIP-IT.
#RAW
— Posh Nachoman (@WellYoureWrong) August 21, 2012
Instead of giving Del Rio Sheamus, AJ has a different opponent in mind for him.
Oh My God! The Puerto Rican AJ Lee just spoke Spanish! *In love*
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 21, 2012
Match 03: Alberto Del Rio vs. Randy Orton
I Like the Idea that Randy Orton is the new Undertaker or KANE for General Managers. When It Doubt, Bring Orton Out. Or
#BringBatemanOut.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 21, 2012
Randy Orton and his Justin Bieber reactions. The new hit “As Long As You Push Me” is doing well on the charts.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 21, 2012
Before the match starts, Sheamus comes out to the ring for no reason.
Sheamus, this CLEARLY doesn’t involve you! Go home! Go to the beach! Do something!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 21, 2012
He’s such an antagonizer. He just bullies heels all day.
#BeAStar
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 21, 2012
Hey Jerry, Remember When Sheamus Beat The Stuffing Out Of You? Think Of That The Next Time He Tells a Terrible Joke.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 21, 2012
Doesn’t Sheamus have a shirt that says “Hooligan?”
— Bob Sacamano (@TimExiled) August 21, 2012
Sheamus talks about being poor and driving a mule and a cart.
Word? You have a mule and a cart, Sheamus? A mule and a cart. Shut up. You have a car. You’re Irish. NOT Huck Finn.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 21, 2012
Sheamus is the best heel in the company.
#wwe#Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) August 21, 2012
Sheamus distracts Del Rio causing Randy Orton to RKO. Del Rio’s foot is on the rope but Sheamus knocks it off.
Is how Sheamus acts supposed to be ‘cute?’
— Bob Sacamano (@TimExiled) August 21, 2012
@3manbooth I respect you, Bootherman.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 21, 2012
Winner: Randy Orton
Sheamus has nothing to prove. He beat Del Rio twice. Now he’s just screwing him over. That’s not a champion. That’s a bully.
#BeAStar
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 21, 2012
Between Sheamus and Hornswoggle, The WWE is Perpetuating The Stereotype That Irish People LOVE to Fight … and Prank People.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 21, 2012
CM Punk will name his #1 contender for the WWE Championship tonight.
“
@keepitfivestar: CM Punk is going to name Kurt Angle as the #1 contender.#CMPunkContenders“. FiveStar has been hacked.
— Mark Smith (@podjohnnyringo) August 21, 2012
CM Punk will name Chris Brown as his opponent.
#CMPunkContenders
— Linda (@LMitch87) August 21, 2012
#CMPunkContenders Samoa Joe
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 21, 2012
#CMPunkContenders Stan Stansky#Raw
— Smark In Progress (@SmarkInProgress) August 21, 2012
#CMPunkConteders Max Moon (inspired by@keepitfivestar and many others)
— Bill S. Preston, Esq (@Miss_Dani_Baby) August 21, 2012
Match 04: Brodus Clay vs Damien Sandow
#FreeBrodusClayFromCaptivity
— Bill S. Preston, Esq (@Miss_Dani_Baby) August 21, 2012
I feel like the Funkadactyls comes out with less and less clothes everytime I see them. This is not a complaint.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 21, 2012
HALLEUJER!
#RAW
— Posh Nachoman (@WellYoureWrong) August 21, 2012
Jerry Lawler: “Brodus! Hey Brodus!” Jerry, He’s Busy Right Now. He’s In a Match.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 21, 2012
Lawler is a fuckin’ Schoolyard snitch. “AYE BRODUS, DID YOU HEAR WHAT MICAHEL CALLED YOU?!”
#RAW
— Posh Nachoman (@WellYoureWrong) August 21, 2012
Winner: Damien Sandow
#VICTORYCARTWHEEL#RAW
— Posh Nachoman (@WellYoureWrong) August 21, 2012
Post-match, Brodus Clay attacks Damien Sandow.
Why are all the faces jerks tonight?
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 21, 2012
@3manbooth “You’re a tattletale!” – Michael Cole
— Bill S. Preston, Esq (@Miss_Dani_Baby) August 21, 2012
Shawn Michaels’ emotional message to Triple H:
“What are you feeling right now?” – Michael Cole”What am I feeling? My BROKEN ARM! What do you think?!” – HBK
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 21, 2012
Why does HBK have to speak on behalf of HHH? I’ve never known HHH to turn down 20 minutes on the microphone.
— Bill S. Preston, Esq (@Miss_Dani_Baby) August 21, 2012
Shawn Michaels sounds like he’s comparing the Industrial Revolution to “The Puppy Who Lost It’s Way” to the crowd right now.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 21, 2012
Why Does Shawn Michaels Have a Wood Paneled House? Does He Live In The World’s Largest Station Wagon?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 21, 2012
ARE YOU TOO GOOD FOR YOUR HOME, HBK?!
#HappyGilmore
— Bill S. Preston, Esq (@Miss_Dani_Baby) August 21, 2012
Did Shawn Michaels Just Give Triple H The “That’ll Do, Pig” Speech From Babe? He Needs to Hang Out with Other Adults.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 21, 2012
@miss_dani_baby He Already Lost His Arm. What More Do You Want From Him?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 21, 2012
That’s a VERY LONG time just to say “Good job, good effort good buddy.”
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 21, 2012
Can we get “Down on his luck” Triple H. The vignettes will be gold.
#RAW
— Posh Nachoman (@WellYoureWrong) August 21, 2012
Match 05: David Otunga vs. Big Show
O-WEH-OHHHHHHHHHHHH! O-WEH-OHHHHHHHHHHHHH! When you’re standin next to me! Yeah, you know that I’m a jobber!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 21, 2012
They Should’ve Put a Fake Goatee on David Otunga Just To Have Big Show Punch It Off.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 21, 2012
Winner: Big Show
So… Big Show is mad no one likes him?
— Bill S. Preston, Esq (@Miss_Dani_Baby) August 21, 2012
Match 06: Zack Ryder and Kane vs Miz and Daniel Bryan
And here comes the murderer of Josh Mathews…Kane.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 21, 2012
Kane has killed far too many people in his life with no repercussions. How can I get that privilage?
#RAW
— Posh Nachoman (@WellYoureWrong) August 21, 2012
Finally On RAW. Has to Team with KANE
#RoughRyder
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 21, 2012
Zack Ryder and Kane are giving me X-Pac and Kane vibes….
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 21, 2012
Why does The Miz stroke the Intercontinental Title? It’s a belt. Not a cat.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 21, 2012
Kane/Ryder are the Vader/Cactus Jack of 2012.
#BattleBowl
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 21, 2012
Daniel Bryan slaps Kane and all hell breaks loose.
All I know is. Don’t slap Kane.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 21, 2012
Winners: Kane and Zack Ryder (via DQ)
Post-Match, Kane chokeslams Zack Ryder.
Aw. His back is broken again.
#ZackRyderProblems
— Linda (@LMitch87) August 21, 2012
Only the Team of Kane and Zack Ryder can Dominate AND Lose at the Same Time!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 21, 2012
Kane keeps going on a Spongebob “CHOCOLATE” like rampage.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 21, 2012
Backstage: CM Punk chooses John Cena as his number one contender under one condition. Punk plans to call John Cena out to the ring to tell him this condition, and demands respect from John Cena.
@keepitfivestar Should at least be happy it wasn’t Hornswoggle…
— Chris (@Dusty_Knackers) August 21, 2012
Match 07: Divas Battle Royal:
That’s all of the Divas? Where’d everybody go?
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 21, 2012
Beth was in the graphic for this right? K2 as well where are they? Never mind.
— Linda (@LMitch87) August 21, 2012
My wrestling brain is telling me that The divas didnt know about this battle royal until 5 minutes ago.
#wwe#Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) August 21, 2012
This is Like Watching Youth Soccer. Everyone Just Kicks and Eventually the Ball Goes In.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 21, 2012
It must suck for the women to be working and have announcers sitting 10 feet away mocking the shit out of them for doing their job
#WWE#Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) August 21, 2012
Winner: Kaitlyn
Even the music guy was surprised that Kaitlyn won. It took a while for him to find Kaitlyn’s theme.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 21, 2012
The ChickBusters are Taking Over!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 21, 2012
Touts on Touts on Touts: Brock Lesnar quits…again.
@keepitfivestar AW did too, but he was already fired, so it didn’t really matter.
— Ken Tuccio (@RhymesWithPen) August 21, 2012
This is Brock’s 3rd time quitting, one more quit and he get’s TWO Free Jimmy John’s sammiches.
#RAW
— Posh Nachoman (@WellYoureWrong) August 21, 2012
“Tensai’s making racist jokes, Jericho’s running around screaming things, Lesnar’s quitting, THIS IS NOT WHAT TOUT WAS MADE FOR, GUYS!”- WWE
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 21, 2012
Wade Barrett Promo:
Broken Bones on a Country Floor Are Really More His Thing … Wade Barrett.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 21, 2012
Wade Barrett will return to WWE after he beats the other World Warriors then defeats M. Bision in Thailand.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 21, 2012
@wesleypipes02@keepitfivestar So help me if there is ever a professional wrestler like Sagat, give him All The Championships.
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) August 21, 2012
Backstage: Vickie Guerrero and Dolph Ziggler emphasize the importance of winning the match against Chris Jericho.
Tonight’s Ziggler/Jericho match is bigger than last night’s.
#TheBigOne
— Bob Sacamano (@TimExiled) August 21, 2012
Match 08: Chris Jericho vs. Dolph Ziggler
This will be good again.
#RAW
— Posh Nachoman (@WellYoureWrong) August 21, 2012
Vickie’s introduction for Ziggler is still somehow less grating than Brodus Clay’s for the Funkadactyls.
#WWE#Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) August 21, 2012
“Dolph Ziggler realizes the severity of this match” – Michael Cole*Dolph Ziggler does the
#SeriousZiggleWiggle *
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 21, 2012
I’m Glad Jericho’s Getting a Second Use Out of His Y2J 2012 Tights At Least.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 21, 2012
If Jericho Loses, I Hope He Gets the Reception Triple H Thought He Deserved at SummerSlam. Standing Ovation, You Guys, Nothing Less.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 21, 2012
Winner: Dolph Ziggler
Codebroken
#RAW
— Posh Nachoman (@WellYoureWrong) August 21, 2012
Chris Jericho gets fired from his job more times than George Jetson…
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 21, 2012
My only regret is that I won’t see Ziggler/Jericho again, and if I do it won’t be for a looong time.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 21, 2012
Post-match, Dolph Ziggler celebrates until Chris Jericho picks up the Money In The Bank Briefcase and attacks Ziggler with it.
Chris Jericho has a very odd way of passing the torch…
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 21, 2012
Chris Jericho Is a Rock Star! If He Doesn’t Have a Hotel Room to Destroy, He’ll Just Use Ziggler’s Face!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 21, 2012
I think after about 1998 or so everyone in
#WWE forgot what faces are and why they’re supposed to be good guys.#Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) August 21, 2012
Chris Jericho thanks the fan then leaves.
Jericho going out with a bang. Enjoy the tour.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 21, 2012
Chris Jericho made a classy exit.
#wwe#Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) August 21, 2012
Main Event: CM Punk calls out John Cena.
I do wonder if CM Punk from a year ago is going to come out and rag on current CM Punk for wearing pink, though
#WWE#Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) August 21, 2012
@3manbooth The Arrogance of such a thing!#PunIntended
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) August 21, 2012
Before CM Punk calls out John Cena, he asks Jerry Lawler to apologize for saying he turned his back on the fans.
I don’t want to see Punk vs King either.
#GodNo
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 21, 2012
John Cena interrupts CM Punk and Lawler’s conversation.
Damn Cena’s that’s VERY rude. Didn’t your parents tell you not to interrupt?
#BeAStar
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 21, 2012
John Cena interrupts CM Punk and Lawler then just gives his BFF, Stu the Cameraman, A CASUAL HEAD NOD?! Stu is worth more than that!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 21, 2012
CM Punk calls John Cena out on interrupting him then talks about taking a backseat. Punk says John Cena gets the title shot but Cena has to admit Punk is the Best In the World.
Punk I love you, worship you, will have your firstborn child, but you are not Aretha Franklin booboo. please stop saying respect 900 times
— Krys ♥ (@krysalicious) August 21, 2012
Rather than do this, John Cena goes on a tirade about respect, beating The Rock and not letting people down.
If This is Passive Aggressive / Reverse Psychology John Cena, why is he so Loud?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 21, 2012
I hate that Cena cannot match Punk’s intensity without sounding like a bipolar joke of a man.
— Bill S. Preston, Esq (@Miss_Dani_Baby) August 21, 2012
CM Punk Just Said This! See, John, You Don’t Listen. This is why CM Punk Doesn’t Like You!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 21, 2012
John Cena refuses to sacrifice his integrity and tells CM Punk that if he doesn’t choose him, he’s confident he’ll get a title shot again.
So, Cena basically said he’s guaranteed a title shot down the road. At least that’s what I heard.
— Bill S. Preston, Esq (@Miss_Dani_Baby) August 21, 2012
John Cena tells CM Punk the best way for Punk to prove that he is the Best In The World is to face John Cena in his hometown at Night Of Champions in “the biggest match in the main stage.”
Cena, I was in a bar in Boston that had a “Cena Sucks” sign. I wouldn’t count on love at Night Of Champions.
#raw
— Kara (@karaadora) August 21, 2012
Bro, it’s Night Of Champions. Not Wrestlemania.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 21, 2012
Uhh..beating Cena at an In Your House PPV is career defining for Punk? news to me.
#RAW
— Posh Nachoman (@WellYoureWrong) August 21, 2012
John Cena says if CM Punk doesn’t choose Cena, Punk has no respect for the WWE Championship and no respect for himself.
“DON’T CHOOSE ME. I don’t care. BUT IF YOU DON’T! I HAVE NO RESPECT FOR YOU. *Storms off in a huff*” – John Cena obviously caring
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 21, 2012
CM Punk calls Jerry Lawler back in and demands an apology. After Lawler apologizes, CM Punk demands Lawler call him the “Best In The World.” Jerry Lawler refuses.
Are Lawler and Cena incapable of telling the truth?
#BestInTheWorld
— Bill S. Preston, Esq (@Miss_Dani_Baby) August 21, 2012
Jerry! Just Read the Back of CM Punk’s T-Shirt! “Best in the World”Right There in Plain Letters.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 21, 2012
C’mon guys. CM Punk’s not asking you to call him “Lord and Master” like Brock Lesnar. He just wants to be called “The Best In The World”
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 21, 2012
Jerry Lawler gets ready to leave but CM Punk kicks Jerry Lawler then kneels over him.
A guy just kicked an old man in the back of the head and Im 100% okay with it. Only in wrestling.
#WWE#RAW#BestInTheWorld
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) August 21, 2012
So That Happened:
Punk kicking Lawler is just bringing me such joy. I couldn’t even tweet about it because I kept rewinding and watching it again.
— Lizzie (@bitterforsweet) August 21, 2012
And thats the last time
@khloekardashian tweets about wrestling. Thank God.#wwe#Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) August 21, 2012
Chris Jericho Lost on RAW 1004 and NOT to an Armbar. Let’s Not Let That Factoid Slip Away.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 21, 2012
I did it for Andy Kaufman.
— CM Punk (@CMPunk) August 21, 2012
Also This Happened:
@therock What’s big boy breakfast????
— Aziz Ansari (@azizansari) August 21, 2012
As of this writing, The Rock has not clarified what “Big Boy Breakfast” is. Maybe he will at the Royal Rumble.
Last night, the WWE went all out with their 25th Anniversary of Summerslam. Just like Wrestlemania, there were matches, live performances and celebrities. Also, like Wrestlemania, the Superstars decided to switch up their gear and pay tribute to their favorite Superheroes. While 3MB is not Fashion Police, we’re going to look at some of these gear changes and point out the clear winners and losers of the evening.
Despite dressing like a winner, Rey Mysterio was not a winner at Summerslam. Mysterio may have dressed like the hero, but he wrestled long enough to hear the crowd treat him like a villain. Not only did he lose to The Miz, but he also disappointed the millions (and millions) of Batman fans that reside in the Gotham section WWE Universe. Not even Batmite himself would add this Batman to his collection.
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| Batman is not impressed |
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| Image courtesy of WWE.com |
As you know, Summerslam is this Sunday and it is WWE’s biggest Pay-Per-View of the summer. As you also know, WWE Pay-Per-Views are pretty pricey, so sometimes in order to order the show, you have to sacrifice something else you were interested in purchasing. ReyFearsPsychosis sums up this dilemma perfectly with a parody of a the classic “Lisa Needs Braces” clip from The Simpsons Episode, “Last Exit To Springfield.”
If you were Homer, Which one would you choose?
Zack Ryder on the Raw intro. And will likely never be seen on tonight’s Raw despite it being 3 hours.
— Not Regal (@RegalSays) August 14, 2012
Match 01: CM Punk vs. Big Sow
I think CM Punk forgot and this crowd forgot he was a heel.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 14, 2012
Amused that Punk’s crusading against disrespecting the champ, yet gets stuck in the opener again.
@wwe#Raw
— Rave (@RaveHound) August 14, 2012
And here he comes…
#BigShowRuinsThings
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 14, 2012
I got really excited and then I got really opposite of excited.
#RAW
— Bill S. Preston, Esq (@Miss_Dani_Baby) August 14, 2012
To be fair Id rather have Big Show start the show than end it. Get the poop out of the way!
#wwe#Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) August 14, 2012
I Feel Bad For the Person with the “First Time at RAW” Sign. Your First Match Has the Big Show in It.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 14, 2012
Daniel Bryan’s music hits and he interrupts the match saying he deserves to be in the WWE Title picture.
D-Bry to save the match?
— Bill S. Preston, Esq (@Miss_Dani_Baby) August 14, 2012
Daniel Bryan is chanting “NO!” because he’s tired of seeing Big Show in the Main Events. He’s speaking for all of us.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 14, 2012
This Time, Daniel, You Should Embrace the YES! They’re Warranted.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 14, 2012
I was hoping his theme would play throughout the entire match from here on out. Bryan is hilarious right now though.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 14, 2012
Daniel Bryan enters the ring and attacks CM Punk costing Big Show the match.
Winner: CM Punk
Handshakes Before Matches: Code of Honor. Making Sure Indie Darlings Don’t Lose to the Big Show: Code of Respect.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 14, 2012
Post-Match, Daniel Bryan and BigShow beat up CM Punk until John Cena makes the save.
CM Punk getting attacked by heels and getting saved by a face. So..CM Punk is heel huh?
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 14, 2012
AJ Lee’s theme plays and she comes out and makes a tag team match: Big Show and Daniel Bryan vs. John Cena and CM Punk.
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| Image courtesy of WWE.com |
YES! It’s Everyone I Love on RAW! … Plus The Big Show and John Cena,
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 14, 2012
May as well have Teddy Long come out and set this up.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 14, 2012
AJ skips down to the ring with her Summer Power Suit!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 14, 2012
AJ is Such a Business Woman. She Traded Her Chucks for Heels But Was Able to Option Her Sleeves.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 14, 2012
AJ Lee should change her name to AJ Long after making that TAG TEAM MAIN EVENT for tonight, playas!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 14, 2012
Next week AJ will put the UNDATAKUH on someone.
#wwe#Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) August 14, 2012
For those wondering the rules of this tag team match?
Backstage: Last Week’s 3MB Celebrity Guest Tweeter, JTG, complains to Kaitlyn about not having a match.
Jimmy The Gimmick!
— Not Regal (@RegalSays) August 14, 2012
JTG is still on RAW and still employed. Livin the dream, JTG!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 14, 2012
JTG burial incoming.
— Jake Jones (@Batman_Infinite) August 14, 2012
JTG’s ranting got him an Angry Black Man gimmick?
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 14, 2012
JTG says his lack of screen time is crazy, AJ thinks he called her crazy and books him in a match against a mystery opponent.
JTG is fixing to be fed.
— Bob Sacamano (@TimExiled) August 14, 2012
JTG’s crying on twitter got him on tv. CHEA. wwe
#Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) August 14, 2012
This is What Happens When JTG REALLY brings the Hood to you. He gets Ryback’d
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 14, 2012
Match 02: Ryback vs JTG
Why did they add Bane saying “Feed Me More” over Ryback’s entrance?
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 14, 2012
Wait… is this a new addition to his music or am I just late to the game?
— Bill S. Preston, Esq (@Miss_Dani_Baby) August 14, 2012
Ryback really makes me laugh.
— Bob Sacamano (@TimExiled) August 14, 2012
So Ryback is officially a fighting game character from 1995.
#WWE#Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) August 14, 2012
Ryback rocking out to his own music… pure lawlz
— Bill S. Preston, Esq (@Miss_Dani_Baby) August 14, 2012
“I betta not get pinkeye!” JTG is a genius. Push him to the US title.
#WWE#Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) August 14, 2012
If JTG wants to win and Ryback wants to be fed, JTG should feed Ryback some Soul Food. That’ll put Ryback right out.
#TheItis
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 14, 2012
This crowd went from chanting “GOLDBERG” to “FEED ME MORE” in like a second. Bandwagon jumpers.
#wwe#Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) August 14, 2012
Winner: Ryback
JTG just jobbed out to Ryback because of Twitter comments in 140 Seconds or Less.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 14, 2012
I will die before I ever yell “Feed me more” with others. Like we’re at McDonald’s or something.
— Bob Sacamano (@TimExiled) August 14, 2012
It’s not all bad for JTG because he’s…
![]() |
| Gif courtesy of Snitskys |
#RAWActive: The announcers go over the choices for Piper’s Pit Tonight are #JerichoPit #DolphPit #MizPit
#AWPit
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 14, 2012
#ArmPit
— Bill S. Preston, Esq (@Miss_Dani_Baby) August 14, 2012
#LazarusPit
— Not Regal (@RegalSays) August 14, 2012
Backstage: Rowdy Roddy Piper goes on a rant about picks then talks to Shawn Michaels about Brock Lesnar. Piper walks off as Shawn Michaels talks to Triple H on the phone. Triple H is running late and HBK tells Hunter that he needs to be here.
Cant wait until this show is over so I can read a fake report about Piper again.
#wwe#Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) August 14, 2012
Pauly D calling Piper a Scottish Guido makes me hate life.
— Tom (@TomQWood) August 14, 2012
Match 03: Heath Slater vs R-Truth
Heath Slater’s just excited that Ryback got JTG instead of him this week.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 14, 2012
Heath Slater is About to TURN UP THE TROUBLE?!? … Aw Man! Mr … R-TRUTH?!?
#DAMN
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 14, 2012
So Heath Slater’s mystery opponent this week is K-Kwik?
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 14, 2012
Something creepy about have “Little Jimmy” written on your ass, Troof
#RAW
— Total Lee Osum (@WellYoureWrong) August 14, 2012
I’ve never wanted Heath Slater to win so badly in my life
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 14, 2012
Winner: R-Truth
Dammit, Heath..
#RAW
— Total Lee Osum (@WellYoureWrong) August 14, 2012
Post-Match, The Prime Time Players jump R-Truth.
Jerry Lawler has undoubtedly hooked these two up with his custom t-shirt guy
#WWE#Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) August 14, 2012
The Primetime Players honored AW by being unstoppable tonight.
#wwe#Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) August 14, 2012
@miss_dani_baby Once You Learn, Can You Teach The Prime Time Players? That Boy Ain’t Got No Rhythm!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 14, 2012
@miss_dani_baby Fair Enough. Titus O’Neil Couldn’t Dance His Way Around a Keg Anyhow.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 14, 2012
Touts on Touts on Touts: Mark Henry at the 2012 Olympics
MARK HENRY MONTAGE
#RAW
— Total Lee Osum (@WellYoureWrong) August 14, 2012
Mark Henry is Like the Olympics. He’s Remembered Once Every Four Years.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 14, 2012
After his last run, Mark Henry should never be shown smiling unless someone is laying broken in front of him.
#WWE#Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) August 14, 2012
Touts on Touts on Touts: Booker T touts that Alberto Del Rio’s title match against Sheamus is cancelled due to his actions from Smackdown last week.
Seriously, I have so many racist things to say about Booker T in a Tux and Bowtie
#RAW
— Total Lee Osum (@WellYoureWrong) August 14, 2012
Uh oh! Booker T is coming for ADR… [n-bomb]
— Bill S. Preston, Esq (@Miss_Dani_Baby) August 14, 2012
I Like That Booker T still Does His Catchphrase when He’s Angry. Just Like Ric Flair. “You Wouldn’t Like Me When I’m Angry … SUCKA!”
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 14, 2012
Match 04: Sin Cara vs #RaciallyInsensitiveTensai
@fyeahheath I Respectfully Disagree. Tensai’s Mom is an HBK Fan. La Madre De Sin Cara Le Prefiera a Psycosis.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 14, 2012
I wonder if Tensai can see in this mood lighting
#OpenYourEyes
— Bill S. Preston, Esq (@Miss_Dani_Baby) August 14, 2012
Winner: Sin Cara
Post-Match, Tensai attacks Mr. Sakamoto.
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn….
#SaveSakamoto
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 14, 2012
Sakamoto needs to leave this abusive relationship.
— Bob Sacamano (@TimExiled) August 14, 2012
Backstage: HBK is walking around. Wandering aimlessly.
HBK is still here?!
#GoHomeHBK
— Bill S. Preston, Esq (@Miss_Dani_Baby) August 14, 2012
Piper’s Pit: Rowdy Roddy Piper is in the ring with Jerry Lawler, awaiting the winner of the RAWActive Poll:
#PeachPit #90210
— Bill S. Preston, Esq (@Miss_Dani_Baby) August 14, 2012
Piper always brings the goods
#RAW
— Total Lee Osum (@WellYoureWrong) August 14, 2012
Piper knows more about whats going on in
#WWE than Jerry Lawler.#Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) August 14, 2012
The winner is:
![]() |
| Image courtesy of TheSmackdownHotel |
Man, The Miz really jobs out in these
#RAWActive polls
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 14, 2012
Miz is like answer E on a scantron test. it’s never it.
#RAW
— Total Lee Osum (@WellYoureWrong) August 14, 2012
Seriously. The winner is Chris Jericho (and his new mowhawk)
![]() |
| Image courtest of WWE.com |
The interview starts with Piper telling Jericho about he and Chris Jericho being a lot alike. Piper starts rambling about Jericho’s Dad then mentioned that his Dad won the big one and that Jericho can do the same because the little boy in the red shirt thinks he can do it (Not making this up.)
Chris Jericho and Miley Cyrus clearly have the same barber…
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 14, 2012
Piper is sauced!
— Bill S. Preston, Esq (@Miss_Dani_Baby) August 14, 2012
We may have lost the
#RKOHawk but the#Jerichawk is born
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 14, 2012
Support Y2J by wearing an Under Armour Shirt!
#wwe#Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) August 14, 2012
Vickie Guerrero interrupts Piper’s Pit then introduces Dolph Ziggler. Dolph Ziggler runs down Piper.
Vickie Guerrero is clearly wearing Ashley Massaro hand-me-downs.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 14, 2012
Dolph, you fixed your hair. Good show.
#RAW
— Total Lee Osum (@WellYoureWrong) August 14, 2012
Dolph Ziggler runs down Chris Jericho until Jericho mocks his hair then tells Vickie to “SHUT. THE HELL. UP!” Jericho says that he’s going to prove that he can win the big one this Sunday at Summerslam.
Poor THQ. They work so hard to perfect Jericho’s model and he changes everything. His character, his jacket, his hair. Everything.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 14, 2012
The Miz makes his entrance as Roddy Piper quietly chants Y2J.
Why is Piper chanting Y2j?! LOL!
#Sauced
— Bill S. Preston, Esq (@Miss_Dani_Baby) August 14, 2012
You Know, When Piper was “Past His Prime,” He had his Best Match ever Against Bret at Wrestlemania 8. Just Sayin’
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 14, 2012
The Miz says that he’s taking over Piper’s Pit with Dolph Ziggler as his guest. Miz tries to take the mic from Piper, but Jericho punches Miz then cleans house.
I legitimately think Piper has entered senility. He wasn’t this off last time he was on Raw.
— Bill S. Preston, Esq (@Miss_Dani_Baby) August 14, 2012
Match 05: Chris Jericho vs. The Miz vs Dolph Ziggler (DJ Pauly D is tweeting BTW)
The Celebrities Don’t Even Show Up on RAW Anymore! Next Week: Tweets From the Muppets! They Don’t Have Thumbs, You Guys!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 14, 2012
FINALLY! AJ Lee makes a match I love…
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 14, 2012
The Miz is only in this match to get pinned.
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) August 14, 2012
Tower of Doom. Tower of Doom. Tower of Doom.
#wwe#Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) August 14, 2012
Fun Fact: Chris Jericho invented the Tower Of Doom when he fought the Legion Of Doom in 1991. Not the wrestlers LOD. The DC Villains.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 14, 2012
The Miz tries to win with the Skull Crushing Finale. Jericho remembers he used to call that move “The Breakdown” and easily counters it
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 14, 2012
Chris Jericho hits the Walls of Jericho on The Miz but Vickie Guerrero distracts the ref. Ziggler hits the Zig-Zag on Jericho for he win.
Winner: Dolph Ziggler
That match tho.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 14, 2012
Great match and good by-product of having three hours to fill.
#WWE#Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) August 14, 2012
@3manbooth Ralphus nods from the shadows.
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) August 14, 2012
Backstage: CM Punk stretches until Handsome Eve Torres interrupts and congratulations Punk on “The New” CM Punk. CM Punk denies there’s a new CM Punk and the only thing he’s doing is fighting for respect. Eve says no one believes him, especially John Cena. Punk says he’ll prove it right now.
Why was Handsome Eve dressed to wrestle? She knows she’s not gonna have a match.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 14, 2012
Backstage: Shawn Michaels wanders around until John Cena asks if he’s okay.
HBK suspiciously wandering around, waiting to get attacked. It’s normal.
#RAW
— Linda (@LMitch87) August 14, 2012
Shawn Michaels is acting like a kid that knows he’s gonna get an ass whooping, so he’s delaying the inevitable.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 14, 2012
Backstage: CM Punk confronts John Cena telling him that he’s not guy and that he won’t stab Cena in the back.
CM Punk might not stab John Cena in the back, but he’ll sure as hell kick him in the head.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 14, 2012
Wade Barrett Promo:
I hope Wade Barrett’s new gimmick doesn’t end up like the British Bulldog in jeans gimmick. Because nobody liked that Bulldog…
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 14, 2012
See? That’s What a Hooligan Looks Like: Wade Barrett. Not Like You Sheamus. Pale Force.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 14, 2012
Match 06: Handsome Eve Torres and Beth Phoenix vs Layla and Kaitlyn
Fact: This was DJ Pauly D’s favorite match of the evening.
SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKS LIKE A HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (Clearly talking about Eve. Not Beth)
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 14, 2012
Holy crap… Beth Phoenix has been taken out of the Public Storage unit.
#RAW
— Total Lee Osum (@WellYoureWrong) August 14, 2012
I would buy Layla’s song, but I already own Tiffany’s.
#wwe#Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) August 14, 2012
Layla’s Looking a Little Rusty Today … Or It Could Just Be Eve’s Bronzer.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 14, 2012
I think we passed the 3 minute mark for the Divas Match. Congratulations, girls!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 14, 2012
Winner: Layla and Kaitlyn
I Think Kaitlyn’s Found Her New AJ.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 14, 2012
Match 07: Big Show and Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk and John Cena
“IT’S RE-CLOBBERING TIMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” – CM Punk
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 14, 2012
We’re chanting “Yes!” because keeping Big Show out of this match is a good decision on your part, Daniel.
— Bill S. Preston, Esq (@Miss_Dani_Baby) August 14, 2012
Daniel Bryan doesn’t want to tag in Big Show. He knows if he does, the match suffers.
#BigShowRuinsThings
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 14, 2012
CM Punk is Really Trying Hard To Regain His “Is Not Impressed” Meme from McKayla Maroney.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 14, 2012
JOHNATHAN CENA! BIGBERT SHOW! This Match is Not About You! Now Tag Out and Let the Wrestlers WRESTLE!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 14, 2012
CM Punk’s facial expressions and Daniel Bryan in general rule.
— Bob Sacamano (@TimExiled) August 14, 2012
Can Aces & Eights Show Up Backstage at SummerSlam and Take Out the Big Show Before His Match? That’s What They Do, Right?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 14, 2012
CM Punk does John Cena’s moveset!!
LOL Punk is awesome.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 14, 2012
Punk Knuckle Shuffle.
#RAW
— Total Lee Osum (@WellYoureWrong) August 14, 2012
CM PUNK IS THE GREATEST WRESTLER OF ALLTIME!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 14, 2012
CM PUNK WITH THE FIVE MOVES OF DOOM I’VE NEVER SEEN THIS BEFORE! WHAT GREAT ORIGINAL OFFENSE FROM CM PUNK
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 14, 2012
John Cena steals CM Punk’s moveset…
WHO DOES JOHN CENA THINK HE IS?! STEALING CM PUNK’S MOVESET! HOW DARE YOU!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 14, 2012
He looked ridiculous doing that. It looked bad. Oh Cena.
#RAW
— Linda (@LMitch87) August 14, 2012
“John Cena With the Knee/Bulldog Combo.” “CM Punk Did It – The Internet.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 14, 2012
I’m sure he couldn’t do one in spandex either. RT
@keepitfivestar: You can’t do a good Shining Wizard in Jhorts.
— Bill S. Preston, Esq (@Miss_Dani_Baby) August 14, 2012
Winner: CM Punk and John Cena
Post Match, CM Punk wants to shake John Cena’s hand but he refuses.
CODE OF HONOR
#RAW
— Total Lee Osum (@WellYoureWrong) August 14, 2012
John Cena and CM Punk are Totally Doing the Mickie James / Trish Stratus Storyline You Guys. You Know What That Means? It’s Kissing Time!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 14, 2012
Backstage: Paul Heyman is seen talking to Brock Lesnar
“DON’T TALK. Everything you’re doing now? DON’T. DO. Mime it. Mime everything. Remember Mime School? Do that.” – Paul Heyman to Brock Lesnar
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 14, 2012
No dont cut away from Lesnar and Heyman plotting HBK’s murder!
#wwe#Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) August 14, 2012
Match 08: Damien Sandow vs Christian
we need the Sandow
#VictoryCartwheel tonight.#RAW
— Total Lee Osum (@WellYoureWrong) August 14, 2012
So who/what will the announcers spend Christian’s entire match talking about?
— Bill S. Preston, Esq (@Miss_Dani_Baby) August 14, 2012
Brodus Clay’s music hits and he tries to interfere but he’s limping. Christian still loses.
Winner: Damien Sandow
Damn, Christian got Christian’d
— Bill S. Preston, Esq (@Miss_Dani_Baby) August 14, 2012
YES YES YES
#VICTORYCARTWHEEL#RAW
— Total Lee Osum (@WellYoureWrong) August 14, 2012
Christian! How Did You Not Win with the Distraction!? Is There a One Rollup Per Night Rule Now? Did Kaitlyn Take Your Rollup?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 14, 2012
A limp-in is not as effective as a Run-In, Brodus Clay.
#wwe#Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) August 14, 2012
HOW DO YOU STILL LOSE WITH THEME MUSIC INTERFERENCE?! Shit, Christian! Get it together!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 14, 2012
Backstage: Shawn Michaels slowly walks to the ring.
@keepitfivestar Or the Corporation.
— Jason Mann (@wrestlespective) August 14, 2012
Brock Lesnar vs. Triple H Contract Signing:
Taz is Having a Rough Month: He Can’t Say “Here Comes the Pain.” He Can’t Say “Let The Pigeons Loose.” What’s Next: Woozle Wuzzle?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 14, 2012
This has the potential to be a 35 minute Contract Signing. We are going for a new world record tonight!
#wwe#Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) August 14, 2012
Paul Heyman taunts Triple H (Who isn’t here yet) then calls out Shawn Michaels to the ring.
Seriously can I hire
@heymanhustle to speak for me for everything?#RAW
— Total Lee Osum (@WellYoureWrong) August 14, 2012
If HBK Won’t Make It To SummerSlam, Can Triple H Get Rhonda Rousey to Be In His Corner?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 14, 2012
I think Paul Heyman used to introduce Gladiators in his former life.
#wwe#Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) August 14, 2012
Right Now HBK Is Thinking, “Well, I Took On The Great Khali. I Can Take On This Guy, Right?”
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 14, 2012
Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman stare down Shawn Michaels until Triple H finally arrives.
Triple H Is The Only Person that Suits Down For Work.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 14, 2012
How awesome would it have been, had he really been running late? His music hits & he comes out, half dressed, trying to shave & brush teeth
— Linda (@LMitch87) August 14, 2012
“Sorry I’m late, but I was just SWAMPED with paperwork. Mondays, am I right, guys?” – Triple H
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 14, 2012
Triple H signs the contract, then Brock Lesnar angrily signs the contract then throws the contract at Triple H.
RAW’s Over with 15 Minutes Left? This Is Just Like In Rudy! Bring Out Zack Ryder!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 14, 2012
Also wow. A contract signing with no brawl. I was joking when I said it but wow.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 14, 2012
Backstage: Shawn Michaels shares his doubts about Brock Lesnar with Triple H.
Shawn, Don’t Stray Away From the Herd! That’s How Brock Lesnar Takes Down Gazelles!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 14, 2012
Backstage: Big Show is interviewed Matt Striker until they’re interrupted by an HBK/Paul Heyman accident. HBK and Heyman argue until Brock Lesnar pulls Shawn Michaels out of the car. Lesnar backs into the camera as the screen goes black and….yeah.
“I told you I was gonna getcha!”
#InTheHighestVoicePossible
— Bill S. Preston, Esq (@Miss_Dani_Baby) August 14, 2012
Brock Lesnar may have raped someone
— Alex M. Crimefighter (@failraiser) August 14, 2012
“HELP! HELP! BROCK LESNAR IS RAPING SHAW MICHAELS!” – AW”We warned you about rape jokes, Washington! YOU’RRRRRRRE FIRRRRRRREDDD!!” – Vince
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 14, 2012
What’s Messed Up Is That The Closest Guy There To Do Anything Was The Big Show and He’s Too Slow to Respond.
#BigShowRuinsThings
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 14, 2012
Thank god the screen went black so we couldnt see Brock Lesnar give an Indian Burn toShawn Michaels.
#wwe#Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) August 14, 2012
@wellyourewrong HBK got ZEKE THE PLUMBER’D! lol
— Sean S. (@Seanfranchise6) August 14, 2012
Shawn Michaels Should Really Just Avoid Parking Lots Altogether.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 14, 2012
#AnalBleeding
— Bill S. Preston, Esq (@Miss_Dani_Baby) August 14, 2012
The unseen heroes of the RAW Roster are in the parking lot with AJ Lee looking at a broken windshield. Triple H asks AJ where Shawn Michaels is but AJ doesn’t know.
Oh NOW everybody shows up…
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 14, 2012
Michael Cole Broke Out His Sympathy Voice Becuase He’s Been In Shawn’s Position Before.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 14, 2012
Brock Lesnar carries Shawn Michaels to the ring on his shoulders then tosses him into the ring.
Oh no! Brock Lesnar’s gonna have a Live Sex Celebration with Shawn Michaels.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 14, 2012
Lesnar must have secretly carried Shawn Michaels from backstage to the ring. Ninja.
#WWE#Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) August 14, 2012
Welcome to a world where Shawn Michaels can get kidnapped, Sheamus can steal a car, and R-Truth can be a champion
— Alex M. Crimefighter (@failraiser) August 14, 2012
Brock Lesnar hits the F-5 on Shawn Michaels.
HBK lost his smile… In a hard way! Muahahahahaha
— Angélica of Andrade(@angie_chipz) August 14, 2012
How is HBK retired and still getting his ass kicked?
— Jake Jones (@Batman_Infinite) August 14, 2012
Next week I hope this is recapped to “Tell Me a Lie”
#WWE#Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) August 14, 2012
Hey, the 7 members of RAW in the back. How bout goin out there and helping? Lookin at you, Bateman.
#BringBatemanOut
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 14, 2012
Brock Lesnar locks in the Kimura Lock on Shawn Michaels.
See Shawn? If You Weren’t Such a D*ck in the 90’s, You’d Have Like a Million Friends Right Now Instead of Just HHH.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 14, 2012
Triple H runs down to the ring but Paul Heyman tells Triple H if he takes one more step, he’ll break HBK’s arm.
HE TOOK TWO MORE STEPS
— Total Lee Osum (@WellYoureWrong) August 14, 2012
Triple H continues to take several steps.
THATS 5 MORE STEPS
— Total Lee Osum (@WellYoureWrong) August 14, 2012
Triple H has taken several steps. Break the arm.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 14, 2012
HHH is playing the role of MC Skat Kat –
#2StepsForward2StepsBack
— Bill S. Preston, Esq (@Miss_Dani_Baby) August 14, 2012
Brock Lesnar breaks Shawn Michaels arm! Triple H charges to the ring but Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman run out. Triple H checks on Shawn Michaels, then rips off his pink shirt and challenges Brock Lesnar to fight “right now.”
Triple H should just start throwing sledgehammers like he’s one of the Hammer Brothers from Super Mario
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 14, 2012
Or put some ‘Tussin on in..HBK will be right as rain in 3 hours
#RAW
— Total Lee Osum (@WellYoureWrong) August 14, 2012
CM Punk should’ve just ran by during the Triple H/Lesnar/HBK segmentjust so he can he officially closed out RAW.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 14, 2012
So, That Happened:
It’s okay HBK, you’ll be holding up a boxer’s championship belt by Saturday – ask HHH, he did it.
— Bill S. Preston, Esq (@Miss_Dani_Baby) August 14, 2012
Wasn’t expecting that to end Raw. Regardless I think Triple H/Lesnar will be a good watch on Sunday.
— Not Regal (@RegalSays) August 14, 2012
Last Week: “Shawn Michaels Appreciation” Night.This Week: “Fuck Shawn Michaels” Night.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 14, 2012