So That Happened: 08/20/12

Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman address the WWE Universe.

Gif courtesy of ilovewrestlinggifs

Paul Heyman calls referee Scott Armstrong to the ring.

Paul Heyman declairs Brock Lesnar the King Of Kings.

Match 01: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth/Sin Cara vs. Prime Time Players/Cody Rhodes

Winners: Kofi Kingston, R-Truth and Sin Cara

Backstage: AJ Lee is talking with Matt Striker. David Otunga returns and tells AJ Lee she needs a legal consultant. He accidentally uses the word crazy so AJ punishes him by putting him in a match with an opponent of her choosing.

Match 02: Ryback vs. Not Stansky and Rosenberg

Jinder Mahal tries to attack Ryback but fails.

Winner: Ryback (via DQ)

Backstage: Chris Jericho is interrupted by Dolph Ziggler who demands a rematch. Jericho and Ziggler argue until AJ literally skips between them. AJ makes Dolph Ziggler vs. Chris Jericho tonight. If Ziggler loses, he gets the Money In The Bank briefcase. If Jericho loses, his contract with RAW is terminated.

Backstage: Alberto Del Rio walks to the ring. RicRod tries to hand him water but Del Rio flips out.

Alberto Del Rio demands to fight Sheamus for the title right now. As he rants, AJ Lee interrupts him.

Instead of giving Del Rio Sheamus, AJ has a different opponent in mind for him.

Match 03: Alberto Del Rio vs. Randy Orton

Before the match starts, Sheamus comes out to the ring for no reason.

Sheamus talks about being poor and driving a mule and a cart.

 Sheamus distracts Del Rio causing Randy Orton to RKO. Del Rio’s foot is on the rope but Sheamus knocks it off.

Winner: Randy Orton

CM Punk will name his #1 contender for the WWE Championship tonight.

Match 04: Brodus Clay vs Damien Sandow

Winner: Damien Sandow

Post-match, Brodus Clay attacks Damien Sandow.

Shawn Michaels’ emotional message to Triple H:

Match 05: David Otunga vs. Big Show

Winner: Big Show

Match 06: Zack Ryder and Kane vs Miz and Daniel Bryan

Daniel Bryan slaps Kane and all hell breaks loose.

Winners: Kane and Zack Ryder (via DQ)

Post-Match, Kane chokeslams Zack Ryder.

Backstage: CM Punk chooses John Cena as his number one contender under one condition. Punk plans to call John Cena out to the ring to tell him this condition, and demands respect from John Cena.

Match 07: Divas Battle Royal:

Winner: Kaitlyn

Touts on Touts on Touts: Brock Lesnar quits…again.

Wade Barrett Promo:

Backstage: Vickie Guerrero and Dolph Ziggler emphasize the importance of winning the match against Chris Jericho.

Match 08: Chris Jericho vs. Dolph Ziggler

Winner: Dolph Ziggler

Post-match, Dolph Ziggler celebrates until Chris Jericho picks up the Money In The Bank Briefcase and attacks Ziggler with it.

Chris Jericho thanks the fan then leaves.

Main Event: CM Punk calls out John Cena.

Before CM Punk calls out John Cena, he asks Jerry Lawler to apologize for saying he turned his back on the fans.

John Cena interrupts CM Punk and Lawler’s conversation.

CM Punk calls John Cena out on interrupting him then talks about taking a backseat. Punk says John Cena gets the title shot but Cena has to admit Punk is the Best In the World.

Rather than do this, John Cena goes on a tirade about respect, beating The Rock and not letting people down.

John Cena refuses to sacrifice his integrity and tells CM Punk that if he doesn’t choose him, he’s confident he’ll get a title shot again.

John Cena tells CM Punk the best way for Punk to prove that he is the Best In The World is to face John Cena in his hometown at Night Of Champions in “the biggest match in the main stage.”

John Cena says if CM Punk doesn’t choose Cena, Punk has no respect for the WWE Championship and no respect for himself.

CM Punk calls Jerry Lawler back in and demands an apology. After Lawler apologizes, CM Punk demands Lawler call him the “Best In The World.” Jerry Lawler refuses.

Jerry Lawler gets ready to leave but CM Punk kicks Jerry Lawler then kneels over him.

So That Happened:

 Also This Happened:

As of this writing, The Rock has not clarified what “Big Boy Breakfast” is. Maybe he will at the Royal Rumble.

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