In the rare event that we and our Twitter Wall miss RAW, “Wait, What Happened?”
ThreeManBooth: Okay, Here We Go Last RAW of 2012!
KeepItFiveStar: Technically first RAW of 2013 for us. Definitely not the first RAW watched hungover
ThreeManBooth: This is True. Damn True.
MizTV with Special Guest John Cena
ThreeManBooth: And We Start with MizTV. A Little Hair of the Dog, Huh?
KeepItFiveStar: MizTV is not the best TV show hangover cure. You need a marathon like Catfish or Dragonball Z or Regular Show. A MizTV Marathon would just be sad
ThreeManBooth: Yup.
The Miz mentions tonight is Champion’s Choice Night.
KeepItFiveStar: “Championships On The Line. Champions Choice.” AKA Night Of Champions: The TV Series
ThreeManBooth: HAHA! I Like That the Last RAW of 2012 is the Best of TNA Open Fight Night but, you know, better.
KeepItFiveStar: Haha I wonder if this means Layla will challenge Brooke Tessmacher tonight
ThreeManBooth: Only if Kelly Kelly is Surprise Special Guest Referee.
John Cena comes out and wishes the WWE Universe a Happy New Year. Miz gets right down to business.
ThreeManBooth: John Cena wishes the WWE Universe a Happy New Year and the Miz reminds John Cena how horrible his 2012 was. Not a very face thing to do, Miz.
KeepItFiveStar: The Miz is really into John Cena’s relationship. Maybe he and Maryse are looking for someone to double date with
ThreeManBooth: Maryse must have a lot of Couple Groupon Tickets.
KeepItFiveStar: Haha she does keep herself busy.
Team Rhodes Scholars interrupts John Cena and The Miz.
ThreeManBooth: Damn! T.S. Eliot? Damien Sandow raising the IQ of the WWE Universe in two Words.
ThreeManBooth: Why is John Cena doing a Titus O’Neil impression?
KeepItFiveStar: Maybe that’s his way of getting them to millions of dollars. He’s already trying to get Zack Ryder to Millions Of Followers
ThreeManBooth: HAHA!
KeepItFiveStar: For a second, I thought John Cena was going to hit Damien Sandow with the Five Poems Of Doom
ThreeManBooth: I Fully Expect Damien Sandow to not know who RG3 is.
ThreeManBooth: Well, we know John Cena watches Santino’s Foreign Exchange. He Just Recapped the McGillicutty/Beard Saga in 30 seconds using Cody’s Mustache.
KeepItFiveStar: Haha can’t let McGillicutty have anything for himself
ThreeManBooth: Just His Last Name.
ThreeManBooth: “Good Form, Cody” Needs to Become a Chant.
KeepItFiveStar: “Gandolf and Magnum P.I.” I think anytime John Cena needs to insult someone he just channels his Netflix Queue.
John Cena and The Miz challenge Team Rhodes Scholars to a match.
ThreeManBooth: I Don’t Think the Team of Cena and The Miz should Challenge A Wizard and a Detective. They’re Bound to Lose.
KeepItFiveStar: “Did you ever think you’d see Miz and Cena together on the same team??” – Michael Cole (Yes. THEYYYYYY were the tag team champions!)
ThreeManBooth: Oh, Cole.
Match 01: John Cena and The Miz vs. Team Rhodes Scholars.
ThreeManBooth: That’s Weird. John Cena’s Theme Starts Playing and Everyone Starts Taking Off Their Clothes and Walking to the Ring. Gotta Remember That Party Trick For Later.
KeepItFiveStar: It’s the new version of The Naked Man
ThreeManBooth: HAHA!
KeepItFiveStar: I appreciate the fact that both teams just walked to the ring together to have a match. That’s how all matches should start. Jack Tunney would be proud
ThreeManBooth: The Miz Screaming “Whoop!” While Jumping Off the Top Rope Shows He’s Ready of the New Year’s Ball to Drop.
KeepItFiveStar: Haha or that The Miz is a fan of Brick from The Middle “Whoop!”
ThreeManBooth: I wonder if Cody and Sandow gave each other Facial Hair kits for Christmas.
KeepItFiveStar: Hahaha I think so. As best friends, that was the obvious gift. And then they surprised each other with extra gifts that they didn’t know they needed
ThreeManBooth: That’s what friends are for!
Keepitfivestar Maybe Damien Sandow got Cody Rhodes a fancy cigar and some mirrors. #SmokeAndMirrors
ThreeManBooth: HAHA! and Cody Rhodes got Sandow a Choir to Follow him around for the day #Hallelujah
KeepItFiveStar: A very thoughtful gift from Cody, but something Sandow would get bored of by hour 3
KeepItFiveStar: “HALLELUJAH! HAL-“
ThreeManBooth: “Silence!”
KeepItFiveStar: “I’m just trying to watch the Yule Log!”
ThreeManBooth: “I’m trying to read some T.S. Eliot.”
KeepItFiveStar: Haha that makes sense. I don’t think Damien Sandow watches TV. ESPECIALLY the Yule Log
ThreeManBooth: I think Lawler and Cole are auditioning to become Mustache Judges for Beard Wars or something.
KeepItFiveStar: Haha if it’s anything like Cole and Lawler on the Soup, it’s gonna be hilarious
ThreeManBooth: I like that Cody remembers all the moves he’s done through his evolution. Shades of Dustin, Shades of Holly.
ThreeManBooth: Group Names for Cole and Lawler? Team Lawler and Acquaintance. Team Old King Cole.
KeepItFiveStar: “Team Lawler and “When’s Jim Ross coming back?”
ThreeManBooth: Nothing Stops the Five Moves of Doom Like a Kick to the Face! Thanks, Cody!
ThreeManBooth: … Until the Miz restarts the sequence. Thanks, Miz.
Winners: John Cena and The Miz
KeepItFiveStar: It’s okay Damien Sandow. John Cena may have won this match, but at least you won the right to wear pink
ThreeManBooth: True. and Wearing Pink is Half the Battle.
KeepItFiveStar: John Cena teaching The Miz how to be a face.
Backstage Party Segment #1
Dolph Ziggler tries to talk to Vickie Guerrero, but is put in a match against Sheamus. The fun stuff is happening in the background.
KeepItFiveStar: Epico’s in the background just pouring champagne for everybody.
ThreeManBooth: How is it that everyone got the memo to dress up but Alex Riley in the Winter Hat?
KeepItFiveStar: They were going to tell him but nobody had the heart to say it to his face.
ThreeManBooth: “You Two Look Ridiculous” says Brodus Clay to Riley and McGillicutty while Wearing a Bright Orange Shirt and a Gold Chain. That’s Like the Pot Calling the Kettle a Funkasauraus.
KeepItFiveStar: Hahaha “SOMEBODY CALL A STYLIST!”
ThreeManBooth: HAHA!
Backstage Party Segment #2
ThreeManBooth: Wearing a Hat is CM Punk’s way of dressing up.
KeepItFiveStar: I know CM Punk is talking to Vickie Guerrero but Michael McGillicutty is stealing the show in the background thumb wrestling Tensai
ThreeManBooth: HAHA!
CM Punk convinces Vickie Guerrero to make a match with The Shield vs. Ryback.
I like how CM Punk figured Vince’s way of Manipulating Vickie.
Just get her to say the words and it’s a match.
KeepItFiveStar: CM Punk’s a smart man. He studies tape. Even the bad ones.
Antonio Cesaro is in the Ring Introducing His Next Opponent.
KeepItFiveStar: Antonio Cesaro looks like Wooly Willy
ThreeManBooth: He does!
KeepItFiveStar: I hope Antonio Cesaro doesn’t fight The Patriot
ThreeManBooth: I hope he fights Hacksaw Jim Duggan.
Match 02: Antonio Cesaro v. Sgt. Slaughter
ThreeManBooth: Wait. I meant Hacksaw Jim Duggan … ‘s former Tag Team Parter, Sgt. Slaughter. #StillCounts
KeepItFiveStar: So Sgt. Slaughter just hangs out by the Pentagon?
ThreeManBooth: I Guess? Everyone calls him Sarge so no one questions it.
ThreeManBooth: Cesaro just slapped Sarge in the back of the head for no reason. Don’t make him re-assemble G.I. Joe!
KeepItFiveStar: Hahaha
If he did that, I could see Santino trying to re-assemble Cobra. Under Santino’s leadership, they’d become a bunch of bumbling idiots.
… Wait.
ThreeManBooth: HAHA!
ThreeManBooth: Well, at least Sarge got to apply the Cobra Clutch before Cesaro put him away.
ThreeManBooth: Wait! Sarge got back up!
Winner: Antonio Cesaro
KeepItFiveStar: Antonio Cesaro beats Sgt. Slaughter. One GI Joe member down. You’re next, Snake Eyes!
ThreeManBooth: That’s a tough challenge. Just Wait until he faces off with Duke.
KeepItFiveStar: Haha or G.I. Joe’s nemesis “Viper”ThreeManBooth: I Love “The Viper!” It’s the Best Episode of G.I. Joe!
KeepItFiveStar: I didn’t see much G.I. Joe, but you showed me that one and I loved it. It showed that G.I. Joe was not as good of a unit as everyone thought they were
Backstage: Daniel Bryan and Kane are in the locker room, pacing.
ThreeManBooth: Why are Team Hell No pacing around? Is someone pregnant?
Daniel Bryan and Kane want to defend their titles against The Shield, but since The Shield has a match, they need new opponents. They hear 3MB in the other room and go over to them.
ThreeManBooth:I thought somebody was being mugged in the other room! That was 3MB rehearsing?
Daniel Bryan and Kane will fight 3MB tonight for the WWE Tag Team Championships.
KeepItFiveStar: You can tell when Daniel Bryan is in a good mood when he brings back the “Yes!” chant
ThreeManBooth: YES! YES! YES!
Backstage Party Segment #3
KeepItFiveStar: Is the “Tonight’s The Night” rapper just providing the soundtrack for the New Years Party?
ThreeManBooth: I think so.
KeepItFiveStar: Was Jim Johnston busy?
ThreeManBooth: I think 3MB broke his eardrums and he had to go to Dr. James Andrews.
KeepItFiveStar: Haha poor Johnston
Big Show chooses RicRod as his opponent for the Championship Challenge.
ThreeManBooth: Why is Big Show picking on Ric Rod? He’s the best thing in the WWE today!
All the Divas are Talking When Mae Young Walks In.
KeepItFiveStar: Handsome Eve Torres shows up to parties in her gear
ThreeManBooth: Mae Young just shows up to party!
KeepItFiveStar: Cameron took offense to Handsome Eve saying she beat everyone. I guess Eve thanks everyone from Planet Funk looks alike
ThreeManBooth: HAHA!
Match 03: Team Hell No vs. The Three Man Band
ThreeManBooth: You know the imagery in Kane’s TitanTron does not go well with the Cheers from the Crowd. “Yay! Matches! Yay! Fire!”
ThreeManBooth: I can’t wait for the day that Daniel Bryan doesn’t get to do laundry and comes it in a YES! YES! YES! t-shirt again.
KeepItFiveStar: Hahaha! WWE one or Barbershop Window one?
ThreeManBooth: Trick Question!
KeepItFiveStar: Daniel Bryan’s slowly turning into Stefan from SNL. You kinda wanna see him break during segments.
ThreeManBooth: HAHA! It’s true.
KeepItFiveStar: “WWE’s hottest wrestling move is BOOOOOOOOOF! With 9 O’s” – Stefaniel Bryan
ThreeManBooth: HAHAHA! That’s Hilarious!
ThreeManBooth: I think 3MB offends Daniel Bryan on a personal level. All that leather is an insult to a Vegan. Also, they suck.
KeepItFiveStar: Haha 3MB offends all 5 senses
ThreeManBooth: I’m sure they offend on a psychic level as well.
ThreeManBooth: I do like the Bandana that Drew McIntyre has on his pants. This is how he separates himself from the group. He’s the Phil Collins to 3MB’s Genesis.
KeepItFiveStar: The only thing about Drew is the way that he walks
ThreeManBooth: Nice!
KeepItFiveStar: 1% of our readers will get that
ThreeManBooth: I’ve never played the sitar but I’m pretty sure Jinder Mahal isn’t playing the air sitar correctly. There’s no place for a running knee to the face.
KeepItFiveStar: Haha I don’t think Jinder Mahal can do anything correctly
ThreeManBooth: Daniel Bryan did a reversal and a tag at the same time. He’s just THAT good!
KeepItFiveStar: Drew McIntyre just psyched himself up for that clothesline
ThreeManBooth: The Bandana Came Off with the Clothesline! “Oh No! My Image!” Screamed Drew.
Winners: Team Hell No
Post-Match, Daniel Bryan celebrates by playing the Tag Team Title, Hulk Hogan style
KeepItFiveStar: I remember a time, back in the far off year of 2009, when Drew McIntyre was actually able to beat Kane
ThreeManBooth: Maybe Drew will do a Best of Album and remind himself of that.
KeepItFiveStar: Maybe someday. Then he can have a big career comeback. Like Chingy
ThreeManBooth: Who?
CM Punk (with Paul Heyman) gets evaluated by his Personal Physician:
ThreeManBooth: I like how they cut from CM Punk’s music to a recap playing more of CM Punk’s music.
ThreeManBooth: That CM Punk / The Thing Sign in the crowd is pretty cool!
KeepItFiveStar: I’m going to start playing CM Punk’s title reign length as lotto numbers
ThreeManBooth: Good Idea.
ThreeManBooth:I think Paul Heyman is starting to rub off on CM Punk too much. He just said Champion 7 times in that one sentence.
KeepItFiveStar: Haha Paul Heyman has that effect on people. Rhino still runs around screaming “GORE! GORE!! GORE!!!”
ThreeManBooth: HA! I’m sure he does.
CM Punk’s Physican shows X-Rays of CM Punk’s damaged knee.
KeepItFiveStar: If we’re showing knees, I wonder what Rey Mysterio’s knees look like
ThreeManBooth: You could pass a pencil case through Rey’s knee joints.
ThreeManBooth: Look at those little bones in CM Punk’s x-ray. That “good” X-Ray must be Triple H’s.
KeepItFiveStar: Hahaha! You tell him, Doctor Kayfabe
Mr. McMahon’s theme music hits and he walks to the ring.
KeepItFiveStar: Mr. McMahon REALLY loves his checkered suits.
ThreeManBooth: That’s where the Miz got the idea for them. “To Be the Boss, You Gotta Dress like the Boss.”
KeepItFiveStar: The Shield took that advice the wrong way. “To Be The Boss, You Gotta Dress Like The Bossman.” That’s their motto
ThreeManBooth: The SHIELD is the best Cosplay of 2012 – Male. AJ is the best Cosplay of 2012 – Female.
KeepItFiveStar: Haha and honorable mention goes to CM Punk and his Alicia Fox Cosplay
ThreeManBooth: Oh Yes!
Mr. McMahon says that next week CM Punk will be re-evaluated by WWE Physicians.
ThreeManBooth: So, Vince doesn’t believe CM Punk’s phony doctor and wants a second opinion from his crack team of phone doctors. Makes Sense.
ThreeManBooth: Vince REALLY shouldn’t be pointing fingers into shady negotiations.
ThreeManBooth: CM Punk has nothing to with Brad Madd-ox. He can’t even pronounce his name correctly!
KeepItFiveStar: Hahaha no one can. That’s why we call him #HeartthrobRef
Paul Heyman calls out Mr. McMahon out. McMahon says if Punk can’t compete, Paul Heyman will face Ryback instead.
ThreeManBooth: When Paul Heyman Talks, CM Punk Mimes. That’s Some Good Finger Pointin’, Champ!
ThreeManBooth: See, Stephanie? When Paul Heyman gets in your face, don’t hit him. Be like Dad: Get someone else to do it and sell tickets.
KeepItFiveStar: That’s the McMahon Way.
Match 04: Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler
ThreeManBooth: Sheamus had a great 2012, Cole? Well, it started off strong. But how have the last few months been, losing to Big Show?
KeepItFiveStar: Dolph Ziggler is just staring at Sheamus. Remembering all the Brogue Kicks of the past year
ThreeManBooth: HA! Ziggler just unleashed all that frustration on Sheamus.
KeepItFiveStar: Hahaha it’s like when you play a videogame and lose to the boss several times in a row. Looking at you Jun Kazama.
ThreeManBooth: HAHA! She’s so hard to face.
KeepItFiveStar: SO hard…
ThreeManBooth: Sheamus is just so strong he went “Nope, Fella!” to Ziggler in mid-air and threw him to the ground.
ThreeManBooth: You think Sheamus waits for wrestlers to shave their chests to deliver the clubbing blows across the chest? You know it’s gotta burn.
KeepItFiveStar: Yup. That’s a very #ScumbagSheamus thing to do
ThreeManBooth: Agreed.
ThreeManBooth: We haven’t pointed out how great AJ looks right now. Just putting that out there. Also, my phone number.
KeepItFiveStar: Haha it’s impossible for AJ to look bad. Even if she’s a bad girl.
ThreeManBooth: It’s true.
 |
| Mean Nerd AJ Meme Coming Soon |
ThreeManBooth: What the hell happened to Ziggler’s and Sheamus’s Hair in this match? How is Big E. Langston’s Fro-Hawk the best looking ‘do out there for the guys?
KeepItFiveStar: Hahaha!
KeepItFiveStar: I guess he put the wrong product in. His hair is like sticking popcorn in the microwave right now
ThreeManBooth: HAHA! Air Popped Popcorn, Light on Salt.
ThreeManBooth: Sheamus jumping at you must be a scary sight. You could mistake him for a lightning bolt.
KeepItFiveStar: Hahaha
KeepItFiveStar: Oh, no. Here comes another Brogue Kick for Dolph…
Big E. Langston distracts Sheamus.
ThreeManBooth: Not Today!
Sheamus chucks Dolph Ziggler over the top rope but Big E. Langston catches him!
KeepItFiveStar: WWE Superstars should hire Big E. Langston to serve as their bodyguards in the Royal Rumble
ThreeManBooth: That’s a Great Idea!
KeepItFiveStar: Thanks
The Shield Attacks Sheamus, Causing the Match to End in a DQ
Winner: Sheamus (via DQ)
Post-match, The Shield continue to beat down Sheamus.
KeepItFiveStar: The Shield is finally attacking Sheamus for all of the injustice he’s done this year
ThreeManBooth: For all the Brogue Kicks, For His Offensive Comments To Ricardo Rodriguez. For Not Tanning.
ThreeManBooth: They Shouldn’t Let Roman Reigns Talk. Only Yell. All the Time.
KeepItFiveStar: Haha it’s okay. Roman Reigns only knows two words.
ThreeManBooth: “Roman. Reigns.”
Backstage: Wade Barrett confronts Kofi Kingston. Kofi is goaded into putting the IC Title on the line.
ThreeManBooth: Oh, Man. Kofi standing next to Wade Barrett makes Kofi look like he’s about to get stuffed in a trashcan.
ThreeManBooth: Did Kofi just get duped into fighting Wade Barrett? Pick Hornswoggle, Kofi.
KeepItFiveStar: Wildcats bite off more than they can chew. Like Wade Barrett or an unpopular cartoon on CBS
ThreeManBooth: HAHA! Nice!
Backstage: CM Punk and Paul Heyman are Having a Conversation When Brad “#HeartthrobRef” Maddox Interrupts. HTR asks for help getting hired, but Punk and Heyman dismiss him.
ThreeManBooth: CM Punk is really upset that #HeartthrobRef interrupted him. To be fair, Wrestlers usually hear entrance music before they get interrupted.
KeepItFiveStar: I guess #HeartthrobRef thought he could come up to CM Punk since his shirt matches CM Punk’s hat.
ThreeManBooth: I’d want to avoid color coordinating if I were trying to fight off suspicions of conspiracy.
KeepItFiveStar: Haha exactly
Backstage Party #4
Mae Young is feeling sick. The Usos get a table to put her on.
ThreeManBooth: Usos, Get the Table! … That feels weird.
KeepItFiveStar: The Usos Table Cleaning Service. Clearing off tables since….well since yesterday.
ThreeManBooth: HAHA!
ThreeManBooth: “Is it sturdy?” You know, in the WWE, that’s a valid question.
The Doctor reveals that Mae Young is pregnant again. Dramatic Organ Music plays.
ThreeManBooth: Mae Young is pregnant? Is that why Daniel Bryan and Kane were pacing earlier?
KeepItFiveStar: I sure hope not.
ThreeManBooth: Also, who’s playing the organ?
Match 05: The Handsome Eve Torres vs. Mae Young
KeepItFiveStar: “SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE LOOOOOOOOOOOKS LIKE A HEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” Had to.
ThreeManBooth: Understood.
KeepItFiveStar: Although, it’s a new year, so I may turn over a new leaf on The Handsome Eve Torres. She’s pretty good in WWE 13
ThreeManBooth: Yeah, you were pretty good playing with her.
ThreeManBooth: More Champions should have been like Eve. Pick the pregnant member of the WWE Roster. See how you missed out, Kofi?
Kaitlyn comes out to face Eve instead.
Match 05: Handsome Eve Torres vs. Kaitlyn (Diva’s Championship)
ThreeManBooth: I can’t tell if Kaitlyn is in casual clothes or wrestling attire. And I like it that way.
KeepItFiveStar: I think it’s like a Superman/Clark Kent thing. The white shirt is her casual. The black top is her as Kaitlyn.
ThreeManBooth: HA! So she couldn’t find a phonebooth to change in?
Winner: No Contest
ThreeManBooth: Also, Kaitlyn was runner up in the cosplay contest as Kim Possible. Third Place: Tamina as a piece of Bacon.
ThreeManBooth: Third Place: Tamina as a piece of Bacon.
Backstage: Alberto Del Rio Give RicRod a Pep Talk Before His Match with Big Show
ThreeManBooth: NBC could take their show Best Friends Forever and cast Ricardo and Alberto Del Rio instead. Think of the Ratings!
Alberto Del Rio gives RicRod his scarf!
ThreeManBooth: ADR did the Scarf Swap with the Swiftness!
KeepItFiveStar: Alberto Del Rio saw three movies this month, A Christmas Carol, Lincoln and Django Unchained. This explains his change in attitude.
Alberto Del Rio gives RicRod the keys to his car!
ThreeManBooth: And the Keys to the Car? RicRod should Haul Ass to Lollapalooza!
KeepItFiveStar: Somewhere, Alfred is wishing his relationship with Bruce Wayne was like RicRod and Alberto
Match 06: Big Show v. Ricardo Rodriguez (AKA RicRod)
ThreeManBooth: Wow! Big Show’s a Jerk! He went to hand a kid the Championship Title and then swiped it away!
KeepItFiveStar: #BigShowRuinsChildhoodDreams
ThreeManBooth: If Alberto Del Rio Announced Ricardo Rodriguez, it would have completed the role reversal.
KeepItFiveStar: That’d be awesome. C’mon RicRod! Do it for El Local
ThreeManBooth: #DoItForHim
ThreeManBooth: Oh, No. Is Big Show going to Reveal Ric Rod’s Justin Bieber T-Shirt Again?
RicRod gets the upperhand on Big Show!
ThreeManBooth: Alberto Del Rio is like a Dad at his son’s baseball game right now.
RicRod tries to dive at Big Show, but Big Show slaps RicRod hard in the chest.
KeepItFiveStar: Hahaha and his son just started running the wrong way
Alberto Del Rio interferes and starts attacking Big Show.
Winner: Big Show (via DQ)
ThreeManBooth: Whoa. Alberto del Rio is NO JOKE Right Now. It Really is like Batman saving Alfred.
KeepItFiveStar: “Hey Big Show! >.< BIG SHOW! *Big Show looks at Alberto Del Rio* ;D “
ThreeManBooth: HA!
Match 07: Kofi Kingston v. Wade Barrett (Intercontinental Title)
ThreeManBooth: I think Kofi Kingston’s got This One, Guys. I Don’t Know Call it a Hunch or a Gut Feeling.
ThreeManBooth: Also, I haven’t been on the Internet in a while. What’s going on with the Kanye West and Kim Kardashian? They break up yet?
KeepItFiveStar: Oh, buddy…
ThreeManBooth: “I’m really digging this Champion’s Choice Night” Don’t Say That Jerry. That’s a One Way Ticket to Florida.
KeepItFiveStar: Hahaha
ThreeManBooth: When did Kofi Kingston get a racing stripe tattoo down his back.
KeepItFiveStar: I’m not sure. I think Kofi thinks he’s an Xbox Live Avatar and that he can just take tattoos off whenever he pleases.
ThreeManBooth: HA!
KeepItFiveStar: Michael Cole is WAY too into Wade Barrett and Kofi Kingston’s backgrounds right now. Did you hear the way he said “Boston College?”
ThreeManBooth: I did. That was weird. Maybe “Boston College” is the secret word for this RAW. There’s some nice action in this match between Wade and Kofi, college names aside.
KeepItFiveStar: Welcome back, Wasteland!
ThreeManBooth: Wade hits the Final Wasteland of 2012! But now it’s not a finishing move anymore, so Kofi can kick out.
KeepItFiveStar: Unlike the Bullhammer
Winner and NEW Intercontinental Champion: Wade Barrett
ThreeManBooth: Wade won? My Gut must be off?
KeepItFiveStar: I want to make a Gut Check joke but I think there’s enough TNA references tonight
ThreeManBooth: I can’t wait for the rematch though.
KeepItFiveStar: The rematch should be awesome. Wade and Kofi never disappoint.
Backstage Party #5
Superstars surround Mae Young as she’s about to give birth.
ThreeManBooth: There are way to many people in that Delivery Room.
Zack Ryder and Santino Marella arrive ready to party, but notice Mae Young.
ThreeManBooth: Team Cobro: Always Late to the Party.
Vickie Guerrero accidentally farts.
KeepItFiveStar: Well, it took a few years, but they finally made the Vickie Guerrero fart joke
Daniel Bryan and Kane walk in. Daniel Bryan chants “NO!” while Mae Young pushes. Kane chants “YES!” The Superstars join Kane.
KeepItFiveStar: Daniel Bryan is against child birth
ThreeManBooth: The Great Khali is a gentleman. He’s not looking, just holding Mae’s legs open.
Mae Young gives birth to Baby New Year. Spoiler Alert: It’s Hornswoggle…
ThreeManBooth: That Baby was Born Tattooed and Smoking a Cigar? The Sandman is the Father!
KeepItFiveStar: Hahaha if Baby New Year suddenly aligns with Raven, then yes.
ThreeManBooth: HA!
Match 08: The Shield vs. Ryback
The Shield Attack The Ryback before their 3 on 1 Handicap Match
ThreeManBooth: The Shield is attacking The Ryback because of his Purple Singlet. Barney the Dinosaur was an Injustice against PBS. #ShieldBabies.
KeepItFiveStar: Hahaha
Sheamus runs in and tries to even the odds. The Shield gets the upperhand until…
ThreeManBooth: Glad Sheamus showed up just to get beat down aga – Randy Orton Theme Plays – Uh-Oh.
KeepItFiveStar: This is NOT the Viper I was talking about during the G.I. Joe comments
ThreeManBooth: No, not at all. This Viper does not do windows.
The Shield gets destroyed by Randy Orton, Ryback and Sheamus.
KeepItFiveStar: Randy Orton RKO’d Dean Ambrose so bad, he went back to being Jon Moxley
ThreeManBooth: HAHA!
Dolph Ziggler and AJ Lee’s New Years Toast:
Dolph Ziggler, AJ – dressed in white – and Big E. Langston are in the ring for the New Year’s Toast.
ThreeManBooth: Mark Henry Jr. Jr. Couldn’t Get a White Suit? He Got his Fro-hawk shaped up for the occasion and everything.
KeepItFiveStar: Haha it’s hard to fit him in a suit. He’d just rip the sleeves.
ThreeManBooth: Just sayin’. They found shirts for Tensai and the Great Khali …
Dolph Ziggler goes through the “highlights” of Cena’s 2012.
KeepItFiveStar: Sadly, John Cena’s lowlights are much better than some WWE Superstars highlights
ThreeManBooth: It’s true. All of his losses are in still in the Main Event.
ThreeManBooth: “Do You Even Remember That Guy [John Laurinaitis]?” – Dolph Ziggler with clearly a better memory than the WWE Universe.
KeepItFiveStar: Hahaha he’s right. I barely remember Big Johnny. He was around back when we had the old format of the recaps.
ThreeManBooth: Is this a Toast for 2013 or the RAW Roast of John Cena?
KeepItFiveStar: “Hot Dog! We have a wiener” – Dolph Ziggler making a Simpsons reference. #DontPraiseTheMachine
ThreeManBooth: HAHA! so RAW Roast then.
ThreeManBooth: Oh Snap! Dolph Ziggler just used Cena’s own Lyrics against him!
KeepItFiveStar: Awwww Big E. Langston’s just a bouncer?
ThreeManBooth: Yes but he’s like Heimdall in Thor. The Bouncer to the Gods.
KeepItFiveStar: Some fan just keeps yelling out “JOHN CENA!”
KeepItFiveStar: A MALE fan!
ThreeManBooth: HAHA!
John Cena comes out to Dolph and AJ’s New Year’s Toast.
KeepItFiveStar: John Cena hasn’t wished his BFF, Stu The Camerman, a Happy New Year yet. Already off to a bad star for 2013, John.
ThreeManBooth: C’Mon, Cena. a Mr. T and Magnum P.I. References in the Same Show? Ziggler’s Right. You Gotta Update Your Style.
KeepItFiveStar: Haha I’m waiting for him to do a Perfect Strangers reference
ThreeManBooth: If Cena says “Don’t Be Ridiculous,” I’ll lose it.
John Cena keeps showing Photoshop jobs of Dolph Ziggler, AJ Lee and Big E. Langston in gender reversals and with multiple children.
KeepItFiveStar: Just because Big E. Langston is a big, black guy, doesn’t mean you can put him in a dress. He’s not Madea.
ThreeManBooth: Well, we know how John Cena spent his weekend: Fun with Photoshop.
ThreeManBooth: Dude! a Rodney Dangerfield reference too! Cena is just Living in the 80’s. Next Week, He’ll be Wearing a Leather Suit instead of Shorts / Jorts.
KeepItFiveStar: Maybe he’s watched Hot Tub Time Machine one too many times.
ThreeManBooth: “You Don’t Want Me To Get Serious Because it Doesn’t End GOOD for you” – John Cena. “WELL. Good One” – Dolph Ziggler. Superman Does Good, Cena. You Do Well.
KeepItFiveStar: Hahaha line of the night
ThreeManBooth: Uh-Oh. John “Real Talk” Cena coming out. No more Baloney Fudge and Mustard Jokes. In Come the Dick Jokes.
KeepItFiveStar: John Cena is like an unfunny Dr. Cox with his rants
ThreeManBooth: HAHA!
Dolph Ziggler calls out John Cena on his attire again.
ThreeManBooth: With all Due Respect, Dolph but the WWEShop shirts are not cheap. They are made with the finest quality and for affordable prices! #CheapPlug
John Cena Says Dolph and AJ are Full of Something and Then Drops Said Something on Them. (Spoiler Alert: It’s Not Knowledge)
ThreeManBooth: Dolph Ziggler’s like “Aw Man. Not Again!
ThreeManBooth: You Know Cena called Triple H and Shawn Michaels asking for their “Manure Guy.”
KeepItFiveStar: This is the second time Dolph Ziggler’s had poo dropped on him in his WWE career.
ThreeManBooth: Everyone should add Scotchguard to their list of things to have in 2013, in case you anger John Cena.
Wait, What Happened?
ThreeManBooth: Welp, and that’s 2012!
KeepItFiveStar: Now that 2013 is here, I can officially announce that I am entering myself in the Royal Rumble! …*Quietly* In WWE 13…. Anyway, thanks for reading, supporting the site and Happy New Year!
Three Man Booth 