In Memorabilia Lane, We’ll Discuss the Significance Some Kind of Collectible (T-Shirt, Poster, Action Figure) has on us and its Relation to Wrestling.
The main stops on the Road to Wrestlemania are the Royal Rumble in January, Elimination Chamber in February, Monday Night RAWs in March and finally Wrestlemania weekend in April. If you think there’s no room for love on the Road to Wrestlemania, you’re mistaken; Valentine’s Day is days before the Elimination Chamber and, luckily, the WWE has you prepared. We stumbled across a set of these WWE themed Valentine’s card last year and had to seek them out again.
If You Got a Kofi Kingston Valentine:
There’s a good chance not much as changed from last year, Valentine. In fact, your 2013 valentine said “I Hope Your Valentine’s Day is Great!” and this year, it says “Have a Great Valentine’s Day!” Variety may be the spice of life for some. Not for you though: it’s consistency. We can rely on you to jump high, kick hard and do some crazy acrobatics in January. When you’re ready to break the routine though, let us know. It’ll make our hearts go Boom! Boom! Boom!
If You Got a Sheamus Valentine:
You could be a winner, Valentine! Despite your aversion to the sun, your interesting accent and your insistance of calling everyone and everything ‘fella,’ you could still be a winner. Just some helpful advice: we like you more when you don’t talk. Your rough and tumble style on the kickball field speaks volumes. We are a little concerned though. You keep talking about grabbing a “pint” at the “bar.” Stop calling your fridge a “bar” and your juiceboxes “pints.” You have a problem, sir! and that’s a shameful thing.
If You Got a Randy Orton Valentine:
We don’t always understand you, Valentine. Sometimes you’re quiet and keep to yourself, drawing on your arms with a marker (hope that’s not permanent). Other times, you want to be the center of attention and the face of the classroom. You keep talking about these voices you hear in your head. Your earbuds are in too deep, Valentine; also, turn down the volume. When you’re in the zone though, you are one of the best. If we were to build a Valentine from the ground up, it would look like
Kaitlyn You, Valentine.
FYI: This used to be the Miz’s card, catchphrase and all. Maybe he’ll mention it Monday.
If You Got an Alberto Del Rio Valentine:
We like you, Valentine. You work hard and are one of the best in the class. We may not pay you any attention while you’re in front of the classroom. We’ll ask for the cowboy guy or the guy with the crown or … Michael, but don’t take offense. We’re just chop busting. You had one really loyal friend in class, until you betrayed him in freeze tag (you really tagged him that time). Make up with your friend, Valentine. He misses you. And deep down you miss him too. But you already knew that.
If You Got an Undertaker Valentine:
You’re the most Valentine sought after every year, Valentine. You only need to appear one day a year but your legend looms for all 365 days. And everyone wants to choose you as their dance partner on that big day, but that’s not your way. You choose, for better or worse. Some may goad you into making a selection but at the end of the day, it’s your yard.
If You Got a CM Punk Valentine:
This is a mixed message, Valentine. We like it when you “go for it.” We cheered when you grabbed that brass ring and went for 434 days with perfect attendance. We even like it when you choose not to go after the brass ring; instead, you sat criss-cross applesauce and verbally smashed our hearts like they were made of candy. Right now you’re taking a break. Or got expelled. Or left school. We don’t know; we’re not mad about it. We just miss you, Valentine: You’re the Best in the World.
If You Got a The Rock and John Cena Valentine:
Happy Valentine’s Day!