In Memorabilia Lane, We’ll Discuss the Significance Some Kind of Collectible
(T-Shirt, Poster, Action Figure) has on us and its Relation to Wrestling.
Another year, another Valentine’s Day. And if you’re a kid, you’re in new school or a new class. Maybe some new kids got added to your class. Either way, there is always one thing you can count on: WWE Valentine’s Day Cards! If you received one of these from your classmates, here’s what they are telling you.
If you got a Group Valentine:
Meet the new class! It’s a mix of some people who have been Valentine’s before and two new mysterious people that wear all black! The new kids have cool wet long hair and look all mysterious and stuff, like they could be part of the same team! Plus tattoos? in grade school?!?! Also, you definitely didn’t get the memo about wearing bright colors but that’s okay. A little change to the uniform is not bad every now and again. Way to shake things up, Valentine!
If you got a Kofi Kingston Valentine:
You miss your friends. (All of them.) We know they’re nearby but when they’re not on the same
card page as you, it hurts a little. Because when they 3 of you are together, it’s magical. You make music together. AND. IT. ROCKS. Maybe they can join you on the honor roll next year. Because it’s straight BOOTY that they’re not here. Until then, your power of positivity lets you hold it down, Valentine! That deserves a skip and clap!
If you got a Bray Wyatt Valentine:
We’re going to be a little honest here, Valentine. You’re creepy. You’re the weird kid in class. But at least you make it work for you. The way you blow on your phone when you turn off the flashlight? It’s pretty cool. The way you’re bringing Hawaiian shirts and Fedora hats back?!? Respect. We like a lot about you. Your friends though? Two them are a little too sheep obsessed. Also, they’re huge! They look like they’ve been held back a grade or two. The other guy? He’s cool. Maybe you could get him to wash his shirt though?
If you got a John Cena Valentine:
You’ve been on the top so long, Valentine, your name is synonymous with the word “Champ.” We’ll secretly cheer for you while not-so-secretly boo you when you’re in class. Even when you try to dial it back a little and let others go for that Big Gold Star, you end up being the star of the class. Your weekly open school challenges got everyone talking about you again. We hope you have a good time while you’re on Winter Break. Please come back, but not too soon! (Kidding.) (Not Kidding.)
You’re pretty cool, Valentine. You wear jeans and a leather jacket better than The Fonz (ask your parents. or grandparents)! And, you never know what we’re going to get with you. And that’s great! Sometimes you’re splashing people with ketchup and mustard, other times you’re diving off the top on everything! Plus, you’re not afraid of everything. You’re the only one to take on the Administration and to call out the biggest kid in the playground! He threw you around but you held your own. And that’s why we like you. Plus, it’s worked out well! You’re already a champion on the verge of getting another gold star! Keep living on the fringe, Valentine! You lunatic!
If you got a Seth Rollins Valentine:
Nobody likes the Teacher’s Pet, Valentine, and you were definitely it for the past year. You made being the Teacher’s Pet seem pretty cool. And The Administration even made that macaroni statue of you! Even without the Administration, you’re pretty impressive. No one builds with LEGOs better than you. You’re a regular architect! And while you’re no longer friends with those other guys, they’re doing pretty well themselves. You keep good company. And we know you’re being homeschooled while you’re recovering from injury. We miss you and can’t wait for you to be back at the top of the class!
If you got a Roman Reigns Valentine:
You’re the strongest one in our class, Valentine! That’s what they keep telling us. Plus, you must live pretty close to school. You’re always showing up with pretty wet hair. And you climb down the stairs better than anyone else! You even fist bump while going down the stairs! That is no easy feat. Sure, you’re not the best at jokes and, sure, people think you’re the Principal’s Pet, but you’re trying your best. The Administation may not like you, the upperclassmen may not like you. But the lower classmen like you (we think) so that counts for something. Plus, we’ve seen the improvement! Let’s see where we end up next year!