DVR is WAR: AKA #RAW is #Ambreigns Recap (2/1/2016)

DVR is WAR is back! This week’s RAW is from Birmingham, Alabama and features the return of Brock Lesnar, so let’s get started!


Watch:

The Beast opens RAW (0:00)

A break from The Authority opening the show, The Night Mayor of Suplex City BEAST BROCK LESNAR comes out at the start of RAW along with The Advocate Paul Heyman. Heyman addresses the Wyatt family issue (Brock will invoke the 11th commandment, “Thou Shalt not Mess with the Beast” at a later time). He then talks about what’s Beast for Business: Brock Lesnar will take both Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose to Suplex City. He will defeat both Roman and Dean at the same time to go on to Wrestlemania and conquer the “Billion Dollar Trophy Husband” Triple H to become the WWE World Heavyweight Champion!

Continue Watching: Dean Ambrose confronts Brock Lesnar (00:08)

After Heyman points out that Roman Reigns has felt the sting of Brock Lesnar but Dean Ambrose has not, Dean walks out to the ring to stand face to face with Brock Lesnar. Dean says that he may look crazy for coming into the ring but he respects Brock Lesnar. He wanted to tell Brock man-to-man that he wants the title. He doesn’t want to fight Brock (who would?) but he wants the title that badly that he’ll fight Brock and his brother Roman Reigns. Dean asks Brock to take him to Suplex City because Dean is the Iron Man of the WWE and will get up after each and every suplex to drag his body to Wrestlemania and take the title from Triple H. Then, Dean says, “I wanted to see what all the fuss was about” and leaves.

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If you have time:

Rusev versus Kalisto (0:18)

It’s a good match. Plus Alberto del Rio was ringside giving vital feedback like calling Kalisto a “mosquito.” Rusev tries to prove that his size is better; Kalisto tries to prove that speed is better. Rusev throws Kalisto all over the ring and Kalisto keeps bouncing back.

Watch: the ending of the match (0:28)

The action spills to the outside. Kalisto manages to evade Rusev by jumping on the announcers’ table and catching Rusev with a hurrancanrana!

Then Kalisto makes it back in the ring to get the count out victory.

Skip:

Stephanie talks to Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose backstage (0:34)

Stephanie tries to drive a wedge between Reigns and Ambrose by calling Ambrose “Reigns’ sidekick.” She also calls Ambrose the “Marty Jannetty” of the duo. Oh! Also Reigns and Ambrose will face The New Day in tonight’s main event.

Double Skip: Renee Young interviews Brie Bella (0:38)

We love Renee Young. And Get Well Soon, Nikki! But basically, Charlotte interrupts Brie Bella to take credit for causing Nikki’s injuries. Charlotte doesn’t apologize for that. So now, they fight.

Watch: Lillian Garcia say Grammy instead of Slammy (0:41)

Lillian Garcia flubbed the Usos’ introduction, calling them the Grammy Award Winning Tag Team instead of the Slammy Award Winning Tag Team. It’s the flub that launched 1000 tweets.

Skip: The Usos versus The Social Outcasts (0:45)

They spent most of the match talking Lillian’s flub rather than paying attention to the match. Adam Rose, Heath Slater, and Curtis Axel all received Samoan Superkicks, especially Axel, who was caught jumping off the top rope. Grammy or Slammy, The Usos win!

Watch: MizTV No, Seriously! (0:58)

The Miz is pretty great in this. He won’t let AJ Styles talk, instead he gives his best monologue, running down AJ Styles’ early beginnings and tenacity. Then he compares AJ Styles to Daniel Bryan, the Miz’s rookie on NXT (not the one you’re thinking of).

The Miz says he could mentor the rookie AJ Styles to the next level. AJ Styles finally responds, using his fists instead of his words.

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Skip: Charlotte versus Brie Bella (1:17)

In the #TotalDivas match of the night, Brie wins. But Ric Flair and Alicia Fox almost have a crazy-off, proving that Flair is still the biggest Diva out there.

Skip: Big Show versus Erick Rowan (1:30)

It’s everything you wish it wasn’t. Big Show wins then the Wyatt Family tries to take Big Show out, Triple Slamming him on the steel steps.

Skip-a-delphia: Titus O’Neil versus Tyler Breeze (1:41)

Titus O’Neil is commended for his charity work. Tyler Breeze grew a beard. Titus O’Neil wins the match.

Watch: Triple H confronts Brock Lesnar (1:46)

Triple H asks for some alone time with Brock Lesnar to ask things are getting soft in Suplex City. Brock says we’ll find out at Wrestlemania.

Watch: Dolph Zigger versus Kevin Owens (1:51)

These two are great together, especially when they’re trying to knock each other’s blocks off. Dolph says he’ll win via Superkick and tries SEVERAL times. Kevin Owens is no Superkick slouch himself.

Ziggler eventually win by countering the Pop-Up Powerbomb and hitting the Zig Zag.

Keep watching: Kevin Owens gets mad at Michael Cole for his loss (2:05)

Blaming Cole is always funny.

Watch: The Black History Month tribute to Mark Henry (2:06)

Mark Henry is great guys.

MUST WATCH: Sasha Banks versus Becky Lynch (2:12)

Before the match, Sasha Banks declares that she is back and on her terms. She’s on her own and will become Diva’s Champion. LEGIT. This brings out Team BAD members Tamina and Naomi who feel slighted. But there are no hard feelings. Partnerships don’t last forever but and they want to congratulate Sasha. They can be competitors AND friends. UNITY!

KEEP WATCHING (2:25)

During the match, Naomi and Tamina try to help Sasha win the match. Sasha interferes with their interference. This causes Tamina and Naomi to attack Sasha!

Who comes to help her? Becky Lynch!

An NXT Chant breaks out! Are the Four Horsewomen getting back together? Or at least 2 of them?!?!

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Watch: Renee Young interviews Chris Jericho (2:33)

Because we skipped Renee the first time and also because Chris Jericho is wearing a shirt for the first time, listen to Jericho talk about his match with AJ Styles last week on RAW. He wants a rematch with AJ Styles.

Skip: R-Truth and Goldust yet again (2:35)

Goldust confronts R-Truth in the bathroom. He’s sitting barefoot on a toilet seat and his foot falls in!

We didn’t hear anything after that; we were too busy ordering sanitizer!

Watch: The New Day Address Bootyham (2:43)

The New Day shamed the Rock last week on RAW. This week, Re-Shame Him! The New Day says The Rock has a problem with foul language and this is family entertainment. Then New Day points out Lil’ Billy Cliz in the front row who starts gyrating like Big E.

But tonight is about revenge: The New Day is going to beat up The Rock’s cousin, Reigns, and Ambrose.

Kofi calls them Ambreigns, which is their Tumblr / fanfiction fandom name.

Then the internet lost their minds!

If you have time: Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose versus New Day (2:48)

You have Paul Heyman answering and asking his own questions on commentary, you have The New Day and you have Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns. It’s a fun match. Also, Big E spanks Dean Ambrose on the butt, inspiring a new fandom.

Still, Dean Ambrose gets the victory for his team.

Watch: The Beast Unleashed (3:05)

Brock Lesnar comes to the ring to show Dean Ambrose what all the fuss is about. The New Day attack Ambrose and Reigns before Lesnar gets to the ring. Roman Reigns is pulled outside, leaving Brock Lesnar alone to give Dean Ambrose an F5!

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That’s it for this week’s recap! Now you have plenty of time to get the “Ambreigns” out of your system. See you next week!

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