So That Happened: #RAW Recap (03/09/15)

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RAW begins with Randy Orton.

The Main Event for RAW tonight will be Randy Orton and Seth Rollins vs. Roman Reigns.

The Authority does a public meeting with Randy Orton, saying that he is one of them. Kane officially welcomes Randy Orton back into The Authority.

Big Show tries to speak, but the WWE Universe cuts him off with “You Suck” chants.

Big Show calls Randy Orton the most talented, sadistic, ruthless talent he’s ever seen. Big Show says Orton would RKO his own father if he needed to get something he wanted. Big Show shakes Orton’s hand and welcomes him back into The Authority.


Jamie Noble almost welcomes Randy Orton into The Authority, but Noble calls Orton a no-good snake who can’t be trusted. Seth Rollins excuses Noble’s behavior then mocks his feelings.

Seth Rollins says Noble is 100% on board with Orton in The Authority, like Joey Mercury. Mercury hesitates and Rollins calls them “J and J Security” not “J and J Public Speaking.”

Seth Rollins addresses the elephant in the room, where the WWE Universe thinks Randy Orton is not really part of The Authority and he is just biding his time until he gets his revenge on Seth Rollins. Rollins calls the WWE Universe the biggest idiots on planet Earth, saying he and Orton are standing side-by-side.

Seth Rollins admits doubts from J & J Security and Kane. Seth Rollins mentions Big Show, but says no one really cares about what Big Show thinks.

Seth Rollins insists he’s joking, and that The Authority is one big happy family. Seth Rollins welcomes Randy Orton home and the two of them shake hands.

Seth Rollins tells the WWE Universe to give it up for one of the most decorated champions in WWE and his partner, the Viper, Randy Orton.

Randy Orton calls The Authority’s words very kind and says he felt it in the bottom of his heart, but it made him think about something. Orton asks what the hell happened to The Authority. Orton mocks The Authority for kissing his ass, then addresses them one by one. Orton turns to Kane and tells him he went from being the Devil’s Favorite Demon to the Devil’s Favorite Dumbass. Orton asks if Kane whats better? Kicking ass and Taking Names or Kissing Ass and Taking Coffee?

After Big Show laughs, Randy Orton turns his attention to Show, saying he should be the most dominant giant in the history of the WWE, but instead Big Show uses that power to bitch, moan and feel sorry for himself. Orton says Big Show went from the most dominant Superstar to the most pathetic.

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Randy Orton turns to Jamie Noble and wonders why Noble resents him so much. Orton thinks it’s because people actually know who Orton is or if it’s because Orton can get on all the rides at Disney world and Noble can’t. Orton tells Noble his 6 year old daughter can relate.

Randy Orton turns to Joey Mercury next. Then quickly turns his attention to Seth Rollins.

Randy Orton tells Seth Rollins that he’s been blinded by his ego and can’t see what’s happening. Orton tells Rollins he’s been getting close to Rollins’ “family,” waiting for Rollins to feel safe and secure, so he can pick his opportunity to strike. Orton plans to take Rollins apart piece by piece and make Rollins his bitch.

After a loud RKO chant, The Authority surrounds Randy Orton. Orton claims he’s just playing around and tells everyone to lighten up. Rollins joins in on the laughter and calms the rest of The Authority down. Rollins claims Orton should be the one taking over for Jon Stewart.

Seth Rollins celebrates Randy Orton in The Authority, saying tonight, they will put an end to Roman Reigns in their handicap match tonight because that’s what’s “Best For Business.”

Match 01: Daniel Bryan vs. Bad News Barrett (w/ R-Truth on commentary)

Bad News Barrett comes out to the ring.

Daniel Bryan comes out next.

Bad News Barrett boots Daniel Bryan.

Daniel Bryan hits the Solid Knee Plus on Bad News Barrett.

Winner: Daniel Bryan

Post-Match, Bad News Barrett attacks Daniel Bryan.

Dean Ambrose runs out and attacks Bad News Barrett.

Match 02: Dean Ambrose vs. Stardust

R-Truth is STILL on commentary.

R-Truth tries a new hashtag. #WhatsInTheBag

Dean Ambrose slaps Stardust.

Dean Ambrose catches Stardust with the Dirty Deeds.

Winner: Dean Ambrose

Post-Match, Bad News Barrett attacks Dean Ambrose until Daniel Bryan attacks Bad News Barrett. Luke Harper comes out next. Followed by Dolph Ziggler.

While everyone else brawls…

R-Truth steals the Intercontinental Championship again…

Bad News Barrett notices R-Truth and demands the Intercontinental Championship back.

R-Truth gives Bad News Barrett the bag with the Intercontinental Championship back.

R-Truth runs off as Bad News Barrett checks the bag. Bad News Barrett picks up a false Intercontinental Title.

The latest inductee into the 2015 Hall OF Fame Is…

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