The Daily Show with Seth Rollins:
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Seth Rollins introduces himself, then says they’re in the great city of Newark, NJ. Rollins corrects himself calling Newark the armpit of America.
Seth Rollins says he verbally dominated Jon Stewart on his own show and tonight, he’s going to do Stewart’s job better than Jon Stewart. Rollins talks about Stewart not being here, then makes jokes about Jon Stewart not being here because he’s a phony and from New Jersey. Rollins takes shots at Jon Stewart’s movie he directed last year, then talks about Stewart’s retirement. Rollins says Stewart wants to retire on his own terms, but if he showed up here he would force Stewart into retirement because it’s hard to do a show with his jaw wired shut.
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Seth Rollins is interrupted by Jon Stewart.
Jon Stewart tells Seth Rollins he didn’t earn this “Daily Show” spot. Rollins tells Rollins that he’s proving to the world that he’s better than Stewart. Stewart says he’s proving to the world Rollins can barely read. Stewart calls Rollins a guy who looks like a swat team stripper with Lady Gaga’s hair. Stewart claims he’s here to help Seth Rollins.
Jon Stewart says he’s old school and not afraid of the curb stomp AKA a Jersey Brunch. Stewart says he’s a fan of the wrestlers who earned it, like Bruno Sammartino and Gorilla Monsoon. Stewart says Seth Rollins is not like Mick Foley or Stone Cold Steve Austin or The Undertaker. Stewart calls Rollins out for trying to take a shortcut by becoming the Poster Boy for The Authority. Stewart jokes that posters get taken down.
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Jon Stewart tells Seth Rollins that he may be stronger, and tougher, but he has something Seth Rollins will never have: Respect. Stewart says The Authority doesn’t care about Seth Rollins. Stewart tells Rollins that if The Authority cared about him, he’d be fighting for the title at Wrestlemania. Stewart says after Brock Lesnar and Roman Reigns fight at Wrestlemania, Seth Rollins will be left with nothing and holding his briefcase.
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Jon Stewart tries to say that Seth Rollins didn’t earn his brief case, but Seth Rollins gets offended. Stewart tries to back away, but gets pushed into the Daily Show table. Seth Rollins and Jon Stewart are interrupted by Randy Orton.
Jon Stewart kicks Seth Rollins low, then escapes.
Randy Orton walks away as Jon Stewart celebrates.
Backstage: Renee Young compliments Jon Stewart for holding his own against Seth Rollins. Stewart says he learned that in wrestling school. Stewart asks if the wrestlers come backstage, then Renee asks if Stewart has any interest in becoming a WWE Superstar or commentator. Stewart says he would, but got winded from talking. Jon Stewart runs for his life before Seth Rollins comes back.
Match 05: Luke Harper vs. Daniel Bryan
Luke Harper boots Daniel Bryan in the face.
Luke Harper counters Daniel Bryan
Luke Harper tosses Daniel Bryan into the turnbuckle.
Daniel Bryan catches Luke Harper with the YES Lock.
Winner: Daniel Bryan
Dean Ambrose comes down and brawls with Luke Harper. Ambrose gets taken out.
R-Truth steals the Intercontinental Title again.
Luke Harper stops R-Truth from taking the Intercontinental Title. R-Truth gives Harper the belt back, then gets clotheslined for his efforts.
Dolph Ziggler catches Luke Harper with a Superkick at the top of the ramp.
Daniel Bryan and Dolph Ziggler have a staredown.
The latest inductee into the 2015 Hall Of Fame is…
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Backstage: Seth Rollins complains about Jon Stewart until Randy Orton walks up. After Orton is stopped by J & J Security, Orton tells Rollins that Rollins owes him for saving him from almost committing career suicide by attacking Jon Stewart. Orton reminds Rollins that he would’ve been sued and lost his job, and wants a Thank You.
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Randy Orton says that if Seth Rollins needs any help tonight against Roman Reigns, all he has to do is ask. Orton is confronted by Big Show and Kane. Kane says they have Orton’s back. Jamie Noble adds on that they won’t need everybody out there and Randy Orton decides to leave.
Paul Heyman Speaks:
Paul Heyman introduces himself and hypes Brock Lesnar. Heyman says he came to the rancid city of Newark to address the rumors and shoot from the hip. Heyman says it’s true that his client Brock Lesnar will be at Wrestlemania. Heyman adds on that Lesnar will be anywhere he damn well pleases before Wrestlemania and anywhere he damn well pleases after Wrestlemania and he will be there as the Undisputed WWE World Heavyweight Champion because he Lesnar will be champion as well as he damn well pleases.
Paul Heyman’s mic cuts off. Heyman says obviously the sound guy is from New Jersey.
Paul Heyman does the “Believe That.” catchphrase, then says the WWE Universe always buys into fantasies and uses Daniel Bryan at Fast Lane as an example. Heyman says deep down, the fans didn’t believe it because if Daniel Bryan came up against his client, Bryan would be squished like a cockroach under the boot of Brock Lesnar.
Paul Heyman brings up Roman Reigns, but the microphone is busted. Heyman gets a mic from Lillian Garcia. Heyman responds by telling her it’s about time she did something right.
After the crowd “Ooohs” Paul Heyman, Heyman responds that the “Oooh” moment is everyone is buying into Roman Reigns, expecting Reigns to win. Heyman says WWE believes it and that it’s booked by God himself that Reigns is going to win because we “Believe That.” Heyman says Bruno Sammartino, Hulk Hogan, The Rock, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Triple H and John Cena also believe that Roman Reigns could beat them in his prime and no one disputed them. A fan calls Heyman out on not saying Andre The Giant and Heyman fires back that he left Andre out because he’s dead, then calls the fan stupid.
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Paul Heyman says not one man disputed him because they all believe that Roman Reigns is a bad ass Samoan with a chip on his shoulder because that chip comes from the fact that Roman Reigns can’t beat Brock Lesnar at Wrestlemania.
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Paul Heyman says Wrestlemania goes down one of two ways: One. Brock Lesnar takes Roman Reigns apart the same way he did John Cena. Or two: Brock Lesnar simply Ronda Rousey’s Roman Reigns.
Paul Heyman has more microphone issues.
Paul Heyman tells Roman Reigns that at Wrestlemania he is going to get his ass beat, hurt and embarrassed, emasculated and conquered by Brock Lesnar. Heyman says, “Believe That” then gets ready to leave the ring, but Roman Reigns comes out.
Three Man Booth 