So That Happened: #RAW Recap (01/12/15)

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RAW begins with John Cena.

John Cena talks about how riled up New Orleans is and says it’s good to be back in the city that hosted Wrestlemania 30. Cena continues to hype New Orleans and Bourbon Street, then says despite The Authority being back in power, this week’s RAW won’t be like last week’s.

John Cena says he can’t believe he works for two people (The Authority)who got their jobs back after their whipping boy held a Hall Of Famer hostage and expected Cena to gamble with his life. Cena defends his choice, calling it the right thing to do, then mentions Triple H. Cena hypes Triple H’s accomplishes as a WWE Superstar and says he will only be remembered as a slimy, backstabbing, power hungry, sociopath who wants to make everybody’s lives miserable.

John Cena addresses The Authority firing Ryback, Erick Rowan and Dolph Ziggler, then asks the WWE Universe if any they want to see any of these people tonight. After a loud “YES” chant, Cena tells The Authority that the people want them back. Cena tells everyone at home to use the hashtag #AuthoritySucks to voice their displeasure.

John Cena says if The Authority doesn’t listen, they’re deaf, blind and stupid.

John Cena says he has a plan B. Cena addresses his match against Brock Lesnar and Seth Rollins at the Royal Rumble for the WWE Championship, then says his plan is to win the title, then go leave with it until The Authority gives Dolph Ziggler, Erick Rowan and Ryback their jobs back.

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John Cena is interrupted by The Authority.

Stephanie McMahon mocks the #AuthoritySucks. Stephanie tells Cena that Ziggler, Ryback and Rowan will be so happy to see him win, then take his ball and go home. Stephanie calls Cena out on turning his back on the WWE Universe and Ryback, Rowan and Ziggler.

Triple H makes fun of John Cena’s plan, then reminds him of the stipulations of the Survivor Series, reminding him that he was proposing a mutiny. Triple H says Cena convinced them to go to bat for him, knowing they could lose their jobs. Triple H says although Cena won, The Authority found a way back in because The Authority always wins.

Triple H mocks John Cena again for bringing The Authority and says he will give John Cena one more chance to be a hero. Triple H asks the WWE Universe if Dolph Ziggler, Erick Rowan and Ryback should get their jobs back. Triple H says iF The Authority and the WWE Universe want them back, how much does John Cena want them back?

Triple H tells John Cena that if he wants Dolph Ziggler, Erick Rowan and Ryback to get their jobs back, he has to win his match tonight. Triple H says it’s a simple one-on-one matchup. John Cena vs. Seth Rollins in a Lumberjack Match. If Cena wins, they get their jobs back. If he loses, he crushes more dreams.

Match 01: John Cena vs. Seth Rollins (Lumberjack Match)

Booker T has some weird opinions on Gilligan’s Island:

The Lumberjacks attack John Cena.

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John Cena dives on Seth Rollins and The Lumberjacks.

Seth Rollins hits the Turnbuckle Powerbomb on John Cena.

Seth Rollins catches John Cena with the Sliced Bread

John Cena gets the upperhand, but the Lumberjacks pull Cena out of the ring then beat him up again. Cesaro swings John Cena into the barricade.

Big Show knocks John Cena out, allowing Seth Rollins to get the victory.

Big Show tosses John Cena back into the ring, allowing Seth Rollins to get the win.

Winner: Seth Rollins

Backstage: The Usos and Dean Ambrose are with Stephanie McMahon. Stephanie wants to address what happened last week on Smackdown. Stephanie tells The Usos that this is all John Cena’s fault and not the actions of The Authority. The Usos asks if there’s any other punishment, but Stephanie says she’s not a monster. Before The Usos leave, Stephanie tells Jimmy Uso to tell his wife, Naomi, that she has to compete tonight with her hand tied behind her back.

Stephanie McMahon tells Dean Ambrose that because he was unruly, had erratic behavior and checked himself out of the hospital, he has to do a go through a mandatory psych evaluation tonight with Dr. Corbin. Stephanie deems Ambrose as a threat to himself and to others. If Ambrose doesn’t pass, he will not be allowed in the Royal Rumble Match.

The Miz’s Golden Globes After Party:

The Miz congratulates George Clooney for winning an award, and says if he keeps working hard, someday he will win a Slammy.

Dean Ambrose’s Psych Evaluation with Dr. Corbin:

Dr. Corbin tells Dean Ambrose that he wants to know what makes his clock tick. Dr. Corbin tells Ambrose to sit back, relax and reflect. Ambrose just stares at the ticking clock.

Match 02: The New Day vs. Tyson Kidd and Cesaro (w/ Adam Rose and The Rosebuds)

Cesaro and Tyson Kidd do the Cesaro Swing/Dropkick Combo to Kofi Kingston.

Winners: The New Day

RAW Reunion Next Week:

Big Show Speaks:

Big Show starts to talk about how great it is to be a Giant, saying things come easier to him. After a “Big Show Sucks” chant, Big Show says the WWE Universe is at the shallow end of the intellectual gene pool. Big Show makes fun of the WWE Universe being scared on their first day, then says on his first day on the job, he beat Hulk Hogan for the World Heavyweight Championship because it was easy.

After a boring chant, Big Show says the WWE Universe spends their lives from day to day living from failure to failure, calling them losers who can’t help themselves. Big Show says the world doesn’t want competition, then brings up the new guy example. Big Show says people are afraid of the new guy, thinking the guy is here to take their spot/job.

Big Show addresses Roman Reigns, saying that he’s not competition. Big Show compares Roman Reigns to The New York Knicks, who are on a 15 Game Losing Streak. Show vows he will knock Reigns out, then Reigns will go on a losing streak, sit next to Spike Lee at a Knicks game and be a loser just like the WWE Universe.

Big Show calls Roman Reigns a loser and says if you’re a Roman Reigns fan, by proxy, you’re a loser too.

Big Show is interrupted by Roman Reigns, who is called a “Big, Mean Samolian” by Booker T.

Big Show leaves the ring as Roman Reigns enters the ring. Reigns tells Big Show that he gets that he’s not a threat to him, but Reigns doesn’t want Big Show’s spot. Reigns says he remembers when Big Show won the WCW Championship from Hulk Hogan, because he was 12 years old then.

Roman Reigns says it was a great story, then says it was like another storytale. Roman Reigns proceeds to do his own version of Jack and the Beanstalk with Roman Reigns as Jack. It’s not very good, but the moral of the story is Roman Reigns wants to face Big Show, but Big Show is a coward and the only loser in the Kingdom. Reigns tells Big Show to “Believe That.”

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