So That Happened: #RAW Recap (09/01/14)

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RAW begins with Chris Jericho

jerichoentranceCourtesy of charlesedwardstrickland9778

After a loud “Y2J” Chant, Chris Jericho welcomes the WWE Universe to RAW Is Jericho and the Highlight Reel.

Chris Jericho calls Labor Day, a day off for hard working folks such as the WWE Universe, then segways into bringing out his guest, Randy Orton, who Jericho claims never worked a day in his life. Before Jericho finishes introducing Orton, he is interrupted by The Authority.

theauthorityentranceCourtesy of charlesedwardstrickland9778


Chris Jericho tells Randy Orton that he was expecting him to come alone, and not with his lawfirm, Sellout, Suckup and Schnozz. Kane gets ready to insult Chris Jericho, but Triple H interrupts him. Triple H calls Jericho the man who never grew up (figuratively and literally.) Triple H says he would love to trade insults with Jericho, but he has business to take care of.

Chris Jericho mocks Triple H’s height remark, then tells Triple H that he doesn’t usually conduct business in this ring unless his wife, Stephanie McMahon is in jail. Triple H tells Jericho he should be thanking him instead of coming up with witty banter, then makes fun of Jericho’s scarf. Chris Jericho fires back at Triple H, making fun of his pink tie. Triple H insists that his tie is Violet.

Triple H tells Chris Jericho he should be thanking him for making this the biggest Highlight Reel of all time. Triple H talks about watching John Cena and Brock Lesnar at Summerslam on the WWE Network for $9.99, then says it might not be Best For Business to have Cena vs. Lesnar at Night Of Champions. Triple H announces that he’s contemplating a new Number One Contender for Night Of Champions.

Chris Jericho hypes the WWE Network for $9.99, then brings up Triple H changing his mind. Jericho wonders who Triple H is going to give the title shot to, but Randy Orton interrupts him, claiming he can beat Brock Lesnar and that he’s earned everything he has gotten.

Kane takes the mic and stakes his claim to face Brock Lesnar, saying all he has to do is get the mask from Hell and unleash a Demon.

Seth Rollins takes the mic and throws his name in as a possible opponent Brock Lesnar. Loud Seth Rollins chants break out because they’re in Iowa.

Chris Jericho starts to hype himself for a chance at the WWE World Heavyweight Championship by listening all of his accolades.

While Chris Jericho continues to talk, he is interrupted by John Cena.

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John Cena tells Triple H that just because his best friends, Ric Flair and Shawn Michaels think he can’t beat Brock Lesnar, doesn’t mean he won’t. Cena reminds Triple H that the same two guys thought Cena couldn’t beat Triple H at Wrestlemania 22, but he made Triple H tap out. Cena reminds the WWE Universe that you can see that on the WWE Network for just $9.99.

John Cena reminds Triple H that he invoked his rematch clause and Triple H authorized it. Cena tells Triple H that if he tries to take the title shot away from him, he will take Triple H to court, sue him for every penny.

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John Cena tells Triple H that after he sues him, he will become COO of the WWE and his first order of business will be to fire Triple H.

John Cena insists that at Night Of Champions, he is not going to just beat Brock Lesnar. He’s going to beat Brock Lesnar’s ass.

Triple H mocks John Cena for wanting to sue him. Triple H tells Cena that he’s so blind that he is at the point of threatening lawsuits. Triple H says Cena might not be able to understand this, but he knows what being the COO means. Triple H tells Cena that no matter what, he does what’s Best For Business for the WWWE WWE, every single day. Triple H doesn’t think Cena as the WWE World Heavyweight Champion is Best For Business, but Cena’s career ending at the hands of Brock Lesnar isn’t good for business either.

Seth Rollins chimes in, saying John Cena should have his rematch at Night Of Champions. Rollins reminds Triple H that if Cena wins, there’s always Plan B.

Randy Orton agrees that John Cena should have his rematch, then asks for his rematch from Wrestlemania. Chris Jericho interjects, saying Orton had 4,000 title matches since Wrestlemania and succeeded a grand total of never.

Chris Jericho reminds Randy Orton that in his last match, he was Superman Punched and Speared by Roman Reigns. Orton tells Jericho that Roman Reigns beating him at Summerslam, and Reigns in general means nothing. Orton claims if Reigns was here, he’d drop him right now. Orton calls Jericho out for his jokes, saying if Jericho continues to make fun of him, Jericho won’t like the punchline. Orton is interrupted by Roman Reigns.

Roman Reigns tells Randy Orton to drop him, but Triple H holds him back. Reigns calls Orton all talk, then turns his attention to Seth Rollins and Kane, saying they’re unhappy to see him. Reigns asks if they’re still pissed about him interrupting the Eulogy for Dean Ambrose. Reigns reminds Seth Rollins about the cinder block, calling it unfinished business.

Roman Reigns turns his attention to the WWE World Heavyweight Championship, and says he wants in the conversation. Triple H decides to give everyone an opportunity to prove themselves tonight. Triple H puts John Cena, Chris Jericho, and Roman Reigns in a match against Randy Orton, Seth Rollins and Kane. Triple H wants to see who will earn their spot against Brock Lesnar.

Seth Rollins tries to attack Roman Reigns with the Money In The Bank Briefcase, but Roman Reigns quickly knocks him down. Seth Rollins demands his briefcase back, so Reigns throws it at him.

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Match 01: The Miz and Cesaro vs. #ScumbagSheamus and Dolph Ziggler

The Miz has Damien Sandow as his stunt double and his makeup girl with him.

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Cesaro does Dolph Ziggler’s elbow spam to Dolph Ziggler.

Damien Sandow continues to hype The Miz.

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#ScumbagSheamus Beats of the Bodhrán on The Miz.

The WWE Universe chants for Dolph Ziggler.

Dolph Zigglers gets the hot tag.

Damien Sandow replaces The Miz in the match.

Dolph Ziggler takes out Damien Sandow with the ZigZag. The Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale.

Winners: Cesaro and The Miz

Growing Up Bella:

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Nikki Bella says Brie has always been conniving and self-center. Nikki tells a story about her high school crush, Ryan, asking her to Senior Prom. Nikki claims Brie Bella stole Ryan from her and found them together in the parking lot. Nikki Bella never told anybody about that.

Match 02: Naomi, Summer Rae and Layla vs. Cameron, Eva Marie and Rosa Mendes

The Total Divas attack Naomi.

Naomi hits the rear view.

Winners: Naomi, Summer Rae and Layla (via DQ)

Match 03: Big Show and Mark Henry vs. Luke Harper and Erick Rowan

A Sexual Chocolate Chant breaks out.

Rusev comes out with Lana.

More “Sexual Chocolate” Chants break out.

Erick Rowan bodyslams Big Show.

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Rusev kicks Mark Henry.

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Winner: Big Show and Mark Henry (via DQ)

Post-Match, Big Show comes in the ring. Luke Harper tries to hit him with a chair, but Big Show punches the chair.

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