So That Happened: #TotalDivas Season 02 Premiere Recap (03/16/14)

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Total Divas begins with Natalya talking about the growth of the WWE Divas over the past few months. Mark talks to the Total Divas about future plans within WWE, including a 5-Day TV Run. Mark tells Summer Rae that she is going to be paired with Eva Marie and maybe become a tag team to face The Bella Twins. Natalya jokes that they have to have wrestling ability to compete first.

Mark jokes that Natalya wants to be the only blonde in the WWE, but Summer fires back at Natalya not calling her a “real blonde.”

Summer Rae and Eva Marie talk to each other about the jealousy and tension with the other Divas. Summer Rae and Eva Marie promise to have each other’s backs.

Brie Bella is talking about changing up her attire with Sandra, until they are interrupted by Eva Marie, who wants to know if her new costume is ready.

Brie Bella notices a wedding band on Eva Marie’s hand. After some questioning from Brie, Eva reveals that she eloped with Jonathan.

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Brie is shocked that Eva Marie hasn’t told her folks. Nikki Bella shows up and finds out the news as well and is surprised Eva eloped.

Sandra chimes in and tells Eva Marie that she needs to tell her family, because as a Mother, she would be very upset and disappointed if her kids did that to her.

The Bella Twins are getting ready to have their 30th Birthday, when suddenly, Brie Bella gets a text from John Cena, wishing Nicole about a Happy Birthday and apologizing for being unable to attend.

Brie Bella tells Nikki Bella about John Cena’s text. Nikki is unhappy that Cena texted Brie instead of her, since Cena’s never texted Brie before.

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At the Bella Birthday Bash, Natalya starts to get too drunk and dance with Vinnie.

Cam’ron starts to get jealous at Natalya’s dancing with Vinnie and pushes her. Cam’ron brings Natalya out and starts complaining about her flirting with Vinnie. Cam’ron claims Natalya was trying to do a “Daniel Bryan” to Vinnie.

The argument escalates to the point security has to get involved. Natalya quickly runs away.

Eva Marie gets a call from her parents, who want to come visit her. Eva Marie agrees, but her husband, Jonathan, wonders how she’s going to go through the weekend without telling her parents that they’re married. Eva Marie tries to get Jonathan to stay at a hotel, but he would rather Eva tell her family.

The Bella Twins show up at Wizard-World Comic Con. A fan asks Nikki Bella where John Cena is, and Brie says he’s hiding from Nikki.

John Cena is also at Wizard-World Comic Con. Nikki Bella is upset that Cena is there and that his face is everywhere and she can’t escape him.

John Cena goes to see The Bella Twins and gives them a hug. Cena asks Nikki if she’s doing okay, and she says “Yes”, but doesn’t mean it.

Eva Marie is ridding herself of everything Jonathan by hiding his clothes everywhere. Jonathan has her back, but doesn’t think this is the way to go about it. Eva Marie thinks hiding all of Jonathan’s stuff and sending him to a hotel is the best way to handle this. Jonathan doesn’t even get to take the car.

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Nikki Bella goes Wedding Registry Shopping with Brie Bella and Daniel Bryan at an Organic Store. While the store owner tells Brie and Bryan about yarn made from recycled scraps of underwear, Nikki Bella looks bored out of her mind.

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Daniel Bryan and Brie Bella are impressed by hand-forged oyster shuckers, while Nikki Bella continues to be unimpressed. Nikki doesn’t think this is a wedding registry style place. Daniel Bryan jokes that they should’ve registered at Louis Vuitton.

While shopping, Daniel Bryan suggests that Nikki Bella get something for John. Nikki thinks that’s a bad idea. Daniel Bryan asks Nikki Bella how everything is going.

Nikki Bella tells Daniel Bryan that things are not good between her and John Cena, and that she is currently staying at her Mother’s Condo. Nikki reveals she won’t be there for long, since her Mom is trying to sell the place.

Daniel Bryan and Nikki Bella start to look at baby clothes, which only gets Nikki Bella more upset. Nikki is not having a good time, so she decides to leave.

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At the hotel, Jimmy Uso, Cam’ron and Naomi are chatting when Natalya walks up and compliments their clothes. Summer Rae walks by and says Hi, but Natalya thinks she’s being fake.

Naomi and Cam’ron imitates Summer Rae’s voice and “fake” attitude. Jimmy Uso jokes that he would have never spoken to Naomi if she sounded anything like Summer Rae.

Natalya is having a match with Summer Rae. Cam’ron and Eva Marie watch the match and comment on it.

Natalya thinks Summer Rae is moving too fast from Diva to Wrestler. Natalya tries to compare it to having two Chiefs instead of one Chief and an Indian. When there are two Chiefs, it just turns into a pissing contest. And at the end of the day, Natalya’s piss is stronger than Summer Rae’s. She actually said this.

Nikki Bella apologizes to Brie Bella for walking out on the wedding registry and talks about her fear of mercury poisoning. Brie says it’s a big problem in the oceans.

Nikki Bella vents to Brie Bella about John Cena. Cena is the love of her life, but she doesn’t want to wake up with regrets. Nikki doesn’t know what to do and Brie wants to see her happy.

Eva Marie talks to Naomi about eloping. Naomi thinks Eva Marie should come clean with her family, but Eva fears that her announcement will give her Dad a 4th Heart Attack.

Naomi tells Eva Marie that she can’t live a lie and encourages Eva to tell the truth.

Eva Marie’s family comes to visit. While they visit, Eva Marie’s family asks about Jonathan and their relationship. Eva Marie calls Jonathan her “Husbanger.” Which is a Manager/Husband. Eva Marie claims that it’s her way of dropping hints, but it’s unsuccessful.

Eva Marie tells her family that Jonathan will be here soon, and Jonathan arrives almost right on cue. While the family is talking with Jonathan, Eva Marie’s brother, Nate, realizes Jonathan’s wedding band. Nate asks Eva if she and Jonathan got married.

Eva Marie’s Father notices how delayed Eva Marie’s answer is, then goes to the bathroom. Eva Marie confesses that they are actually married.

Eva Marie’s Family is disappointed. Especially her Father. Eva Marie cries in her Mother’s arms, but Eva Marie’s Father wants to go to the hotel. Eva Marie’s family leaves.

Nikki Bella gets a text message from John Cena. Cena wants to meet Nikki in San Diego in a couple hours. Nikki talks to Brie about what she should do, and Brie tells Nikki that she should hear him out. Brie puts the idea in Nikki’s head that John Cena might propose.

Nikki Bella asks Daniel Bryan what she should do. Bryan tells Nikki to stop being a girl, and mocks Nikki’s attitude. Bryan tells Nikki to be a woman and go meet her. Nikki Bella takes Bryan’s advice.

Daniel Bryan jokes that John Cena is going to propose better than he is. Bryan jokes Cena is going to fly to her on a private plane and give Nikki a yacht. Brie tells Nikki to let her know when Cena proposes, which Nikki responds to with one of her trademark “OH MY GOSH”es.

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While in the car with Jonathan, Eva Marie gets a call from her family. They want to talk to Eva Marie about the marriage at the hotel. At the hotel, Eva Marie’s Family tells Jonathan that he didn’t receive the family blessing and they’re not cool with that.

Rather than back down, Jonathan tells Eva Marie’s Family that he gets that the family is important, but as a man, Eva Marie is the most important thing to him. Jonathan tells Eva Marie’s family that he won’t listen to them over her.

Eva Marie’s Brothers are still mad about not knowing about the wedding and claim they’re secondary. Jonathan says that their relationship is between them and God. Eva Marie’s brothers asked if Eva got confirmed before she got married (She didn’t.) Eva Marie fires back asking why her brothers are going “H.A.M.” on Jonathan, when neither one of them is married.

Eva Marie calls her brothers out on living with their girlfriends, and says if that’s the case, none of them should be living with their significant others until marriage.

Eva Marie’s Father steps in saying that Eva Marie disrespected him and the family. Eva Marie’s Father ends the discussion. Eva Marie says she’s a 29yr. old Grown Woman, and if her family can’t accept that, then that’s their problem.

Nikki Bella goes to meet John Cena, who is holding a bouquet of roses and is in a suit. Nikki Bella says she’s here.

To Be Continued…

So That Happened:

This Season On Total Divas:

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