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We’ll Share Its Unprofessional Wrestling

One of the newest shows on Cartoon Network is Steven Universe. The premise, that the world is protected by the The Crystal Gems – Garnet (the British one), Pearl (the ballerina), Amethyst (the purple one) and Steven, an adorable goofy kid who earned his gem from his mother. Created by Rebecca Sugar, a writer from Adventure Time, it’s a mix of random adventures, positive messages and this addictive theme song.

In the episode, “Tiger Millionaire” Steven discovers Amethyst’s secret: that she uses her crystal gem to dominate as male wrestler Purple Puma in the Beach City Underground Wrestling Federation.

GIF Courtesy of acandlelitshadow

Steven joins Amethyst, creating the wrestler Tiger Millionaire to team with Purple Puma and go after the tag team titles. Tiger Millionaire, incidentally, looks like a cross between a Tiger and Irwin R. Schyster. No, seriously. Look:

Images courtesy of CartoonNetwork and WWE.com

The suspenders! The tie! The slick backed hair! Tag Team aspirations! The episode could’ve stopped there but it didn’t. Encouraged to use underhanded tactics, Tiger Millionaire pulled from the classic heel playbook.

Like the infamous Roddy Piper, Tiger Millionaire threw coconuts at the opposing tag team.  But Tiger double downed on the heel tactics and used a tennis racket a la Jim Cornette.

GIF courtesy of Crystal Gems Tumblr

Another opponent fell victim to a page out of the manual of Paul E. Dangerously aka Paul Heyman: Tiger Millionaire incorporated a giant cell phone to distract his opponents!

GIF courtesy of Crystal Gems Tumblr

Tiger Millionaire may be a great bad guy but Steven isn’t. Ultimately the jeers get to him; it is no longer fun. Once the other Crystal Gems find out his and Amethyst’s secret, Steven is able to rally not just the Gems but also the crowd, revealing the good guy that Tiger Millionaire has always dreamed of being. Then, everyone joins in on the fun of wrestling.

GIF courtesy of Crystal Gems Tumblr

He may be too late to enter the 2014 Royal Rumble but Tiger Millionaire is our pick to win the next Money in the Bank.

GIF courtesy of Crystal Gems Tumblr

Catch Steven Universe on Cartoon Network!

Believe in Steven!