So That Happened: #RAW Recap (12/02/13)

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RAW begins with CM Punk.

There’s something different about him…

PunkPants_3MB CM Punk tells the WWE Universe that for an entire week, he’s been trying to figure out why The Shield attacked him, but he just realized it this right now he’s in denial. Punk knows why The Shield attacked him, but he wants to be wrong this one time. Punk believes The Shield attacked him because he criticized Triple H. Punk hopes it’s a coincidence because if it’s not, he knows he’ll have to deal with the Authority, which he doesn’t want to do, since he likes living in his own little universe.

CM Punk says Triple H isn’t that dense to pick a fight with someone who prides himself on being one of the biggest anti-authority threats to the WWE. Punk hopes he’s wrong, but if he’s right, then Triple H and the Authority are the biggest, sorriest, bunch of douchebags he’s ever come across in his entire life. Stephanie McMahon comes out and interrupts CM Punk.

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Stephanie McMahon tells CM Punk and the WWE Universe that she hopes they had a great Thanksgiving holiday. Punk calls her out about not caring about his Thanksgiving.

Stephanie McMahon tells CM Punk that her family are big advocates of free speech, and that Triple H appreciates free speech more than anyone, since he was a founding father of D-Generation X. Stephanie tells CM Punk that it’s beneath The Authority to attack Punk for calling him a bad name and that they’re not in Kindergarten. Stephanie calls Punk out for pointing the finger at them, then claims The Authority was just as upset as Punk when The Shield attacked him.

CM Punk doesn’t believe Stephanie McMahon, but Stephanie tells him that The Authority has bigger things to worry about tonight like the contract signing between John Cena and Randy Orton. Stephanie tells Punk that if he wants to air out any more grievances, he can speak with the Director Of Operations, Kane. Kane comes out next.

Kane, dressed in a business suit and lavender shirt, gives CM Punk a corporate spiel supporting Stephanie McMahon’s claim that The Shield had nothing to do with the attack on CM Punk. Kane tells CM Punk that the issue is resolved, and asks Punk if he has any more questions. Punk responds by asking Kane when he became the Big Red Asskisser. Kane advises Punk not to take this lightly, but Punk advises Kane not to patronize him. Kane tells CM Punk that they’re not the enemy and recommends CM Punk doesn’t go down this path. Punk calls Kane a sellout, and says since Kane already sold out, he can either get knocked out or be put to sleep. Kane almost comes down to the ring, but Stephanie McMahon stops him.

The Shield comes down to the ring, and CM Punk grabs a chair to protect himself.

Stephanie McMahon stops The Shield from attacking him. Stephanie McMahon tells The Shield that CM Punk should be respected and admired. Kane adds that CM Punk should also be challenged, then puts him in a 3-On-1 Handicap Match against The Shield.

Michael Cole asks the WWE Universe to name the Undisputed/Unified Championship.

Match 01: Dolph Ziggler vs. Damien Sandow

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Big E. Langston is on commentary.

Winner: Damien Sandow

Post-Match, Damien Sandow and Big E. Langston have a staredown.

Match 02: Natalya and The Bella Twins vs. AJ Lee, Tamina and Summer Rae

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Rather than get on the apron, AJ Lee decides to skip around the ring.

Summer Rae uses Ballet Style Offense.

AJ Lee finally gets in the ring, but Natalya manages to roll her up.

Winners: Natalya and The Bella Twins

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Post-Match, AJ Lee grabs her Divas Championship and skips away.

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