RAW begins with the Special Guest referee for Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton at HIAC: Shawn Michaels!
I honestly never get tired of hearing Shawn Michaels’ theme song! #Raw
— jen♡ (@JenScreamsLove) October 15, 2013
Shawn Michaels looks like the kind of guy that holds up the line at Wal-Mart because he thinks he overpaid 40 cents on those tomatoes.
— Charles Cress (@CharlesCress) October 15, 2013
Things have been looking up for Shawn Michaels ever since his show Duck Dynasty took off.
— TeamSterlo (@TeamSterlo) October 15, 2013
Shawn Michaels thanks the WWE Universe for voting for him on the WWE App to be the guest referee for Hell In A Cell. HBK says it’s nice that the WWE Universe didn’t forget about ol’ “HBShizzle.”
Oh hi, Shawn Michaels. Stop saying HBSHIZZLE.
— George E. Boy (@NotGeorgieBoy) October 15, 2013
HB-Shizzle, Back At It! He Looks Like He Just Came from #NYCC Cosplaying as Zeb Colter
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 15, 2013
Whoever put the idea for Shawn Michaels to call himself “HBShizzle” in his head is not his friend. #WWE #Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) October 15, 2013
Shawn Michaels says that he knows everyone is concerned about the personal feelings he has with the competitors in the Hell In A Cell Match. HBK reminds us that he trained Daniel Bryan as a “YES” chant breaks out. HBK says he’s always liked Daniel Bryan, but he’s never liked Randy Orton and yes, Triple H is still his best friend. HBK says that this Hell In A Cell Match isn’t about him, it’s about crowning a new WWE Champion.
HBK Trained Daniel Bryan, Doesn’t Like Randy Orton, is Friends With Triple and Blood Brothers with the Hell In a Cell Cage.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 15, 2013
BREAKING NEWS!! Bob Backlund still roaming around Pittsburgh campaigning! Campaigning for what? Only Bob Backshizzle knows. #RAW
— Adam Lucidi (@adamlucidi) October 15, 2013
Shawn Michaels reminds everyone of his history with the Hell In A Cell Match and says that due to the HIAC, he’s very happy that he’s retired. HBK says that what happened at Battleground was a croc and it will not happen again. HBK says that two men will walk inside the Hell In A Cell, but guarantees that one man will walk out the WWE Champion.
A Good Referee is Fair, Impartial and Barely Noticed. #RAW Starts Off With Special Guest Ref HBK and His Pyro.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 15, 2013
The only person qualified to be special guest referee at #HIAC is Bill Alphonso because he “calls it right down the middle.” #RAW #ECdub
— The RAW Librarian (@TheRawLibrarian) October 15, 2013
Are HHH, HBK, Orton, and Bryan going to hug at the end of Hell in a Cell? #Kliq #MSGIncident
— Turd Ferguson (@Miss_Dani_Baby) October 15, 2013
Randy Orton’s music plays and Orton comes down to the ring.
When Randy Orton enters the ring, at least 14 different noises come out of the crowd. #Raw
— Podswoggle.com (@Podswoggle) October 15, 2013
Randy Orton tells Shawn Michaels that he has a match with The Miz, so he’s going to make this real quick. Orton claims HBK has the WWE Universe convinced, but tells HBK that he was born and raised here in St. Louis and that he knows the people in St. Louis better than anyone. Orton tells HBK that the people in St. Louis aren’t all that bright.
Randy Orton Doesn’t Like St. Louis. In a Related Story, Randy Orton Also Hates Pants.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 15, 2013
Best case scenario tonight is Orton attacking himself and mercilessly beating himself up in front of his hometown crowd.
— David Shoemaker (@AKATheMaskedMan) October 15, 2013
Randy Orton claims that HBK resents him because no matter how great he once was, Orton will always be much better than him, and that eats HBK up inside. HBK shrugs it off by saying “Oh Snap!” and telling Orton that he wasn’t even paying attention.
Shawn Michaels has used “oh snap” and “shizzle.” I guess somebody has recently purchased Fergie’s iTunes discography.
— TeamSterlo (@TeamSterlo) October 15, 2013
Between his “oh snaps” and “shizzles” HBK must have been reading through a lot of Buzzfeed remember the 90s lists lately. #WWE #Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) October 15, 2013
Shawn Michaels will try to appear hip by mentioning Pokemon, but he’ll only be referencing the first 151
— Count THula ah ah ah (@tholzerman) October 15, 2013
Shawn Michaels tells Randy Orton that he shouldn’t worry about him, he should be worried about Daniel Bryan. Orton claims not only is he going to beat Daniel Bryan at the Hell In A Cell, he’s going to hurt him. Orton tells HBK that he’s going to have no choice, but to stand there and count to 3, raise his hand victoriously and that he’s going to enjoy every second of it. The crowd starts chanting “NO” but Orton tells them to Shut Up.
RANDY ORTON WHY ARE YOU YELLING? #RAW
— Marqual (@DonteV10) October 15, 2013
Randy Orton tells Shawn Michaels that everyone knows that he’s no stranger to screwjobs and tells him that if he screws him over at Hell In A Cell, there will be no coming back from what Orton will do to him. HBK calls Orton out on trying to intimidating him, and says that if Randy Orton tries to put his hands on him, he’s going to kick Orton’s “pretty head” off of his “pretty little shoulders.” HBK ends it with the “Two Words For Ya” bit.
Shawn Michaels calling Randy Orton pretty. #fanfic
— Zack (@KojiClutch) October 15, 2013
Shawn Michaels is the uncle at Christmas who sits at the kids’ table because it’s HILARIOUS, guys. #RAW
— Thomas Green (@NotThatTomGreen) October 15, 2013
Randy Orton goes for the RKO, but Shawn Michaels blocks it. HBK goes for the Sweet Chin Music, but Orton runs off.
Orton still hasnt learned about sweet chin music, has he?
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) October 15, 2013
The Miz comes from behind and attacks Randy Orton!
Wow Miz is such a cool guy role model jumping the bad guy Randy Orton for no reason like that. #Raw
— EthanCarterN1Fan (@clparty) October 15, 2013
Rage Miz is the most entertaining of all the Miz’s #Raw
— 😉 (@wtfpaigey) October 15, 2013
Match 01: Randy Orton vs. The Miz
Orton Doesn’t Have the Same “My Parents are Watching” Anxieties That The Miz Had in Cleveland.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 15, 2013
Randy Orton is beating the Shizzle out of The Mizzle. #WWE #Raw @leetouch
— Scott M. Fishman (@smFISHMAN) October 15, 2013
The Miz goes for the Skull Crushing Finale.
I love the way Miz sets up for his finisher by doing high school cheerleader spirit sprinkles.
— Tony Bravo (@RingsideRants) October 15, 2013
Randy Orton insults St. Louis and they still Boo The Skull Crushing Finale.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 15, 2013
The Miz goes for the Figure-Four Leg Lock, but is distracted by The Wyatt Family entrance.
aaaand Bray Wyatt officially speaks for anyone who has seen Miz put on a Figure Four. #WWE #Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) October 15, 2013
Randy Orton hits the RKO on The Miz.
Not going to lie. Entirely forgot about The Wyatt Family preying on The Miz. Great timing. #MindGames #RAW
— The Steel Cage (@thesteelcage) October 15, 2013
Winner: Randy Orton
The Wyatts cost Miz a match, which is good… but ensured Orton won, which is bad. I don’t know how to feel about this turn of events.
— Gregg Mather (@clinteldorado) October 15, 2013
Bray Wyatt tells The Miz that he is the epitome of everything he loathes in this world. The limelight, the diamonds, the red carpet and asks The Miz how much it’s going to take for him to satisfy his obsession with fame. Wyatt says he and Miz are tangled together in the same web, and does not want him to be afraid. Wyatt tells Miz that he doesn’t want to see him suffer; he’s just going to put him down. Bray Wyatt ends his speech with “Follow The Buzzards.”
Hes going to put Miz down? Like, a horse with a broke leg?
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) October 15, 2013
Say what you will about The Wyatt Family, I bet they make top notch moonshine. #RAW
— Adam Lucidi (@adamlucidi) October 15, 2013
Match 02: Fandango vs. Santino Marella
That is a lovely shade of carrot on your skin, Summer Rae.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) October 15, 2013
Why is Summer Rae Dressed Like “Flirty” Pebbles Flintstone?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 15, 2013
Love the Pebbles Flintstone look, Summer
— GOLDLUST (@Osito1034) October 15, 2013
Santino’s walk around the ring is never not funny.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) October 15, 2013
If I ever have to walk more than 25ft to a stage at a comedy show, Imma do the Santino power walk. A lot. #RAW
— Adam Lucidi (@adamlucidi) October 15, 2013
Santino Marella tries to hit Fandango with the Cobra, but Summer Rae distracts him with the Jenna Marbles face,
Summer Rae has a fear of snakes. Or at least Santino’s snake.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) October 15, 2013
I can’t speak for Santino but Summer Rae froze MY cobr…I can’t do this. I’m sorry. This joke isn’t obscure enough for me.
— Charles Cress (@CharlesCress) October 15, 2013
Fandango rolls up Santino Marella for the win.
Winner: Fandango
I Hope This Leads to Santino Getting a Dance Partner (Emma) Who is Destined for Greater Feuds.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 15, 2013
This would be the perfect opportunity to debut Emma.
— Saul Goodman (@RitaHepburn) October 15, 2013
My whole TL is asking for Emma, your move WWE.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) October 15, 2013
Backstage: Paul Heyman reminds Brad Maddox of CM Punk kicked Ryback in the boingloins at Battleground and wants him to do something about it. Maddox tells Heyman that Ryback already has a match at Hell In A Cell with CM Punk, so he doesn’t know what he wants Heyman to do. Heyman claims that CM Punk made him look like a fool, and wants to pick the stipulation for Punk’s match at Hell In A Cell: CM Punk vs. Ryback and Curtis Axel!
@3ManBooth Even Curtis Axel was hoping he wouldn’t say “Curtis Axel.”
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) October 15, 2013
Brad Maddox doesn’t think that’s fair, but Paul Heyman thinks it’s perfectly fair since CM Punk is a weasel. Maddox decides to put CM Punk and Ryback in Beat The Clock Challenges tonight. If Ryback beats R-Truth in a certain amount of time, Heyman gets to choose the stipulation for Punk/Ryback. If Punk beats Curtis Axel faster than Ryback beat R-Truth, CM Punk gets to choose the stipulation.
Walruses, weasels, mad ox… what kind of crazy farm is this?
— Turd Ferguson (@Miss_Dani_Baby) October 15, 2013
Match 03: Los Matadores vs. 3MB
OLE!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 15, 2013
Cena May Have the Heart of a Champion But Los Matadores Have the Hearts of the WWE Universe. Ole!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 15, 2013
I want a pet mini-bull
— Turd Ferguson (@Miss_Dani_Baby) October 15, 2013
El Torito is what happens when Lord Zedd hooks up with one of Rita’s monsters on the side. #wwe #Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) October 15, 2013
JBL “I gotta get me one of them!” King “A little person?” JBL “No, the b…is that legal? Is that a thing? I can own one? Hypothetically…”
— Charles Cress (@CharlesCress) October 15, 2013
Again with this, 3MB? At this rate, we’ll NEVER Hear that First Single!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 15, 2013
If one’s Diego, is the other one Dora?
— Turd Ferguson (@Miss_Dani_Baby) October 15, 2013
@KickStunner The bull.
— Turd Ferguson (@Miss_Dani_Baby) October 15, 2013
Winners: Los Matadores
Alright. I’ll say it. I want to party with El Torito. #RAW
— Adam Lucidi (@adamlucidi) October 15, 2013
Post-Match, El Torito hits the Springboard Senton on Jinder Mahal.
El Torito with Doink the Clown’s finisher!
— George E. Boy (@NotGeorgieBoy) October 15, 2013
They’re better. RT @DAsharpshooters Los Matadores have a win streak. They are like Goldberg too right, guys? #wwe #Raw
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 15, 2013
Triple H and Stephanie McMahon speak:
Uh-Oh. They’re Coming Out to “King of Kings.” That’s Not Good For Anybody. Except Motorhead.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 15, 2013
Aww. I was hoping for Triple H to have his jaw wired shut like Kanye West or Homer Simpson.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 15, 2013
@KeepItFiveStar “I drink a mousse for breakfast and ensure for dissert. Somebody order pancakes I just pedigree em.”
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) October 15, 2013
Stephanie with her choker. I’d like to choke ‘er, alright.
— Turd Ferguson (@Miss_Dani_Baby) October 15, 2013
Stephanie McMahon, wearing that choker because she often attends No Doubt concerts in 1996 before #RAW…
— Thomas Green (@NotThatTomGreen) October 15, 2013
#CoolMomSteph is rocking the crap out of that choker. I had no idea she picked up a part-time shift at Hot Topic.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 15, 2013
Stephanie McMahon says last week on RAW, she learned a valuable lesson: To never mistake her kindness for weakness. Stephanie McMahon gets cut off by a “You Got Knocked Out” chant.
“I Will Never Let My Kindness Be Mistaken for Weakness.” Kindness is What She Calls Her Right Handed Slaps.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 15, 2013
Triple H has to stand there with the “You Got Knocked Out” Face.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 15, 2013
Stephanie McMahon reminds everyone about The McMahon’s bailing the Big Show out of financial troubles then says that they were repaid with disrespect and insubordination. Stephanie McMahon reminds us about the Big Show knocking out Triple H, then encourages the WWE Universe to chant, then reveals that their plans for the unemployed Big Show: They’re repossessing his house and pressing charges for trespassing and assault.
“Where is he now? He is gone, he is fired! We are repressing his house” LMAO
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) October 15, 2013
Do they have Barry Darsow in Big Show’s house right now? #RepoMan
— Turd Ferguson (@Miss_Dani_Baby) October 15, 2013
Stephanie McMahon tells the WWE locker room that insolence won’t be tolerated, then talks about Triple H’s alleged broken jaw and concussion. Stephanie reminds us that this is Triple H, the 13 time WWE Champion, King Of Kings, Cerebral Assassin and The Game. Stephanie talks about Triple H’s accomplishments in the Attitude Era and how he will accomplish more in this era with her power and support because Triple H is the WWE.
“and at the weekends, he wears a tiara because our daughters want him to. oh, was I not meant to say that?” #raw
— Kara (@karaadora) October 15, 2013
Damn. Stephanie Is the Best Hype Man This Side of Paul Heyman.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 15, 2013
Triple H jokes that rumors of his demise being greatly exaggerated, then talks about being the COO in the WWE for 2 years. Triple H claims he took this job for us, and put his personal and professional needs aside for the WWE Universe. Triple H says he became the authority of the WWE, knowing what he had to endure because nobody likes the boss.
“Nobody Likes The Boss” We ALL Like Bruce Springsteen Triple H. You Need to Re-Evaluate Your Life Choices.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 15, 2013
Respect my atho-ro-twa.
— Not Regal (@RegalSays) October 15, 2013
Triple H says he put up with the questioning, accusations, and walk-outs, but every man has his breaking point, and his was last week when he was lying here in the middle of the ring unconscious while the WWE Universe and the whole world chanted “YES!”
Im no expert, but I think Triple H may be a little upset about being punched in the face. #wwe #Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) October 15, 2013
Who knew people get upset when you chant over their lifeless corpse?
— Tom (@TomQWood) October 15, 2013
You sounding real butt hurt right now Trips.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) October 15, 2013
You know, Triple H. All this talking isn’t good for your jaw. Maybe you should stop talking for a while.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 15, 2013
Triple H calms down then says that this is the way it is, after all they’ve done, he and Stephanie McMahon are just the villians. Triple H says if they want him to be the bad guy, he’ll be the bad guy and give the WWE Universe something like they’ve never seen before. Triple H says the Big Show will grovel at his feet to avoid incarceration and anyone who defies authority, will beg to keep their job. Triple H continues by saying anyone who even thought the word “YES!” had better start to pray right now.
Triple H is all like ” Your gonna hear me RAWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!”
— Chris Riddle (@ChrisRiddle) October 15, 2013
Trips spitting hot fire right now.
— Tom (@TomQWood) October 15, 2013
Triple H, Are You Surprised People Think You’re a Villain? You have a Sledgehammer HANGING IN YOUR OFFICE!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 15, 2013
HHH is currently canceling Christmas. Thanks, St. Louis.
— George E. Boy (@NotGeorgieBoy) October 15, 2013
Daniel Bryan comes out and leads the WWE Universe with “YES!” chant.
Daniel “YES! YES! YES!” Bryan with the Power of Positivity!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 15, 2013
You can’t censor “Yes” by the way.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) October 15, 2013
Alberto Del Rio attacks Daniel Bryan from behind.
More like Alberto del Phallus because he’s a DICK.
— George E. Boy (@NotGeorgieBoy) October 15, 2013
So We Can’t Say “YES! YES! YES!” but We Can Say “Si! Si! Si!” Right? That’s Still Allowed?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 15, 2013
Stephanie McMahon tells Daniel Bryan that his opponent tonight will be Alberto Del Rio. Triple H does a “YES!” chant while the WWE Universe chants “NO!”
Triple H you troll.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) October 15, 2013
Triple H Being Shocked at the Jeers is Like The Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing Being Surprised after Revealing Himself: “You Knew? ALL THIS TIME?”
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 15, 2013
Match 04: Ryback vs. R-Truth
Every time I almost say something nice about RawActive, they go and show R-Truth’s ring entrance during the commercial.
— David Shoemaker (@AKATheMaskedMan) October 15, 2013
What’s up? Go away.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) October 15, 2013
R-Truth stalls from wrestling Ryback
Just like a thug to avoid work, right R-Truth?
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 15, 2013
R-Truth, This is the One and Only Time I Will Support You Being on CP Time. #BeatTheClock
— LeKeith (@lekeithlewis) October 15, 2013
Goldberg chants break out during the match.
St Louis is really hyped for the Goldberg DVD. #wwe #raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) October 15, 2013
You heard it guys. The fans only chant Jerry Lawler to frustrate Ryback. #wwe #Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) October 15, 2013
Dude. Jerry Lawler Just Worked the Goldberg DVD Release into a Ryback Match. Give That Man a Bonus!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 15, 2013
Who cares about Goldberg? Stop talking about him unless you want to talk about how he’s the worst ever or how he ruined Bret Hart’s career.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 15, 2013
If History Serves, R-Truth Will Need a Bottle of Water and a Cigarette at the 6 Minute Mark.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 15, 2013
Winner: Ryback
“What’s up?” Not your shoulders if you’re booked against Ryback. #RAW
— Thomas Green (@NotThatTomGreen) October 15, 2013
5:44 minutes too long. #RAW
— Stacey (@LittleSherbie) October 15, 2013
Hey #TheBigGuy couldn’t of you done that like 2 min sooner.?
— Colonel Bob Carter (@WellYoureWrong) October 15, 2013
Backstage: Stephanie McMahon walks up to The Bella Twins and congratulates Brie Bella on her engagement. Stephanie McMahon reminds Brie about Daniel Bryan chanting “YES!” while Triple H is knocked out, but wonders what Bryan will say after Brie Bella’s match with Tamina Snuka tonight. Stephanie tells The Bella Twins that Nikki Bella will have to stay backstage, but AJ Lee will have be ringside.
Stephanie with the “my man’s better than your man” talk.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) October 15, 2013
Uh-Oh, Brie. I See a Bed Bath and Beyond Gift Card in Your Future.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 15, 2013
Match 05: Tons Of Funk vs. The Real Americans
Naomi!!….and friends.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) October 15, 2013
Remember that time when I said Brodus Clay was Earl from Toe Jam & Earl? #RAW
— Adam Lucidi (@adamlucidi) October 15, 2013
What would Snoop Dogg say if he saw you like this, Brodus Clay?
— Turd Ferguson (@Miss_Dani_Baby) October 15, 2013
I think Tons Of Funk is still around just so we can get gifs of Awkward White People dancing to their music.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 15, 2013
Zeb Colter talks about Los Matadores being here illegally.
Los Matadores Didn’t Sneak Across The Border. They Rode Across It. On a Bull! Didn’t You Listen to the Story, Zeb?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 15, 2013
Los Matadores ran across the border? I didnt know they could walk on water. #wwe #Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) October 15, 2013
Antonio Cesaro hits the Neutralizer on Brodus Clay.
Brodus = NEAUTRILIZED!
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) October 15, 2013
The Ice Age Didn’t Make the Dinosaurs Go Extinct. Antonio Cesaro Did.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 15, 2013
Winners: The Real Americans
No Giant Swing?
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 15, 2013
I’d pay so much money to see Cesaro out Cameron in the giant swing and let go.
— EthanCarterN1Fan (@clparty) October 15, 2013
Antonio Cesaro gets ready to put Brodus Clay in the Giant Swing.
GIANT SWING!
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) October 15, 2013
Is he really going to swing Clay? There is a bad dinosaur joke name in here somewhere #RAW
— The Mer™ (@mare_bare) October 15, 2013
Tensai breaks it up, but Jack Swagger attacks him. Antonio Cesaro teases doing the Giant Swing to Tensai instead!
Giant Swing Tensigh back to japan. I wanna seem launched smash brothers style.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) October 15, 2013
Antonio Cesaro does the Giant Swing to Tensai!
3 seconds is long enough, Antonio Cesaro. It’s not your fault that Tensai weighs as much as Jay Sherman.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 15, 2013
That was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. #Raw
— EthanCarterN1Fan (@clparty) October 15, 2013
Tensigh saw his Japan Career flash before his eyes during that swing
— Colonel Bob Carter (@WellYoureWrong) October 15, 2013
He spun Tensai and now he thinks he’s the hip hop hippo again.
— George E. Boy (@NotGeorgieBoy) October 15, 2013
Antonio Cesaro will Swing The Undertaker to end The streak. Mark my words! #wwe #Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) October 15, 2013
Match 06: Brie Bella vs. Tamina
Brie Bella doing the Bella Dance by herself is like Captain Ginyu posing without the rest of the Ginyu Force. It just doesn’t look right.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 15, 2013
Is Tamina’s theme the score from The Rundown? #WWE #Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) October 15, 2013
If Tamina was versed on Friends, she’d know that leather pants are too hot to do anything in. #SheMadeAPaste
— M. Toboggan M.D. (@jeremyExiled) October 15, 2013
Here’s my impressing of Brie Bella: “UUUUUAHHHH” *throws punch*
— Tom (@TomQWood) October 15, 2013
If you squint, it’s like Sexy Diesel vs. Skanky Bret Hart. #RAW
— Thomas Green (@NotThatTomGreen) October 15, 2013
When Tamina tears her quad only then will her Diesel transformation be complete. #RAW
— Stacey (@LittleSherbie) October 15, 2013
Winner: Tamina
Tamina kicked Brie Bella so hard that #BrieMode performed an illegal operation and had to be shut down.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 15, 2013
Post-Match, Tamina destroys Brie Bella then hits a Snuka Splash.
Love that Tamina didn’t need AJ to win. Best to assert that she is a threat and that’s why AJ has her.
— Shay Mitchell (@ShayLMitchell) October 15, 2013
AJ Lee adds insult to injury by locking Brie Bella in the Black Widow.
Tamina and AJ Lee are the new Shawn Michaels and Diesel. Or the Old AJ Lee and Big E. Langston.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 15, 2013
Nikki Bella comes down to ringside and checks on Brie as AJ Lee and Tamina walk off.
Nikki Bella is dressed like an American Gladiator going to play tennis. #RAW
— Thomas Green (@NotThatTomGreen) October 15, 2013
Thanks for comin’, Nikki Bella. Guess all that weight was slowing you down. (Boob joke. Not a fat joke.)
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 15, 2013
“I still say you should bang Randy Orton, we could have matching jeeps.” – Nikki consoling her Brie
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) October 15, 2013
Backstage: Brad Maddox and Stephanie McMahon are watching the Goldberg DVD. Daniel Bryan barges in and calls her out on taking their aggressions out on Brie Bella. Bryan is about to call Stephanie a bad word, but Brad Maddox cuts her off. Stephanie McMahon says not to blame her for what happened to Brie, then reminds him that he has a fiancé to attend to. Bryan glares at her then walks off.
Why would Steph and Mad-dox be watching the Goldberg DVD?
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) October 15, 2013
Match 07: CM Punk vs. Curtis Axel
IT’S CLOBBERIN’ TIIIIIME.
— Not Regal (@RegalSays) October 15, 2013
As Long As Clobbering Time Takes Less Than 5:44, We Should Be Okay.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 15, 2013
They drop the lights every time Curtis Axel comes out so they don’t wake up anyone who just fell asleep. #RAW
— Thomas Green (@NotThatTomGreen) October 15, 2013
Axel is still Puttie status. The Power Rangers didn’t have to transform to beat Putties. Just putting that out there.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) October 15, 2013
Not enough people in real life have their names on the ass of their pants.
— David Shoemaker (@AKATheMaskedMan) October 15, 2013
Whomever gets to pick the stipulation. Pick: Kennel from Hell match. #raw
— Colonel Bob Carter (@WellYoureWrong) October 15, 2013
Curtis! Stop Trying to Lure CM Punk Into a Wrestling Match! Let Him Beat You With Time to Spare on the Clock!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 15, 2013
Curtis Axel is acting like the A.I. in a videogame that’s normally easy to beat, but for some reason, upped the difficulty today.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 15, 2013
Winner: CM Punk
Curtis Axel is such a fouler.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) October 15, 2013
Fun Fact: The Curtis Axel Momentum Clock is Exactly 5 Minutes and 33 Seconds. How About That?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 15, 2013
Post-Match, CM Punk chooses his stipulation…
JUDY BAGWELL ON A POLE. AWESOME CHOICE, PUNK #RAW
— Colonel Bob Carter (@WellYoureWrong) October 15, 2013
Seriously though, it’s CM Punk vs. Ryback and Paul Heyman in a Handicap Hell-In-A-Cell Match!
Or well…that too. Bunkhouse Brawl sounded better
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) October 15, 2013
This worked out so well the first time you wrestled Heyman, Punk. And inb4 Lesnar interferes.
— Tom (@TomQWood) October 15, 2013
Match 08: Daniel Bryan vs. Alberto Del Rio
Kicking Daniel Daniel Bryan is Like Slapping Someone with a Glove. You’ve Challenged Him to a Duel, Good Sir. Be Prepared to Lose.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 15, 2013
@KeepItFiveStar FIIIIIII! FI! FI! FI!
— Sean S. (@Seanfranchise6) October 15, 2013
Daniel Bryan and Alberto Del Rio are Kicking the Snot Out of Each Other.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 15, 2013
It’s about the little things in life, like Daniel Bryan taking Del Rio’s head off. #RAW
— Stacey (@LittleSherbie) October 15, 2013
Daniel Bryan and Alberto Del Rio putting on an awesome match!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 15, 2013
Randy Orton appears on the Titantron and apologize to Daniel Bryan about what happened to Brie Bella earlier this evening, but says he’s going to check on her and see if she’s okay. Orton enters the Trainer’s Room, then closes the door as The Bella Twins scream.
Randy Orton giving off Quagmire from Family Guy vibes.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 15, 2013
Daniel Bryan fends off Alberto Del Rio, then runs backstage to check on Brie Bella.
Daniel! Focus on the Match! Your Real First Love is Wrestling and Championships! Brie will Understand … Eventually …
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 15, 2013
Winner: Alberto Del Rio (Via Count Out)
Backstage: Daniel Bryan barges into the Trainer’s Room and sees that The Bella Twins are okay. Randy Orton attacks Daniel Bryan from behind.
There is literally only one unhidden corner in the room he could’ve been, how could you NOT know where he went? #WWE #Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) October 15, 2013
Why Were the Bellas Screaming Over Nothing? First Off: Lawsuit! Second Of All: They’re Wrestlers!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 15, 2013
Randy Orton is separated by the referees while The Bella Twins scream at him to stop. Orton walks off as Brie Bella runs over and checks on him.
Way to not do ANYTHING, WWE Trainer. You couldn’t kick Orton in the junk or something? You were just gonna let it happen, weren’t you?!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 15, 2013
Backstage: The Shield is talking until they start mocking Daniel Bryan. Roman Reigns says maybe The Rhodes Family will join him in the trainer’s room. Stephanie McMahon reminds The Shield that The Rhodes Family defeated them at Battleground. Triple H tells The Shield that their math with The Rhodes Family is now No-DQ and that “The Gloves Are Off.”
Triple H: The gloves are off boys. Seth Rollins: FINALLY! *Takes off his Shield gloves* Been wearing these for a year…
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 15, 2013
The Shield walks off and Triple H and Stephanie McMahon start making out.
Stephanie: This is mine. This is where my babies come from.
— GOLDLUST (@Osito1034) October 15, 2013
Match 09: The Rhodes Dynasty vs. The Shield
Cody must have gotten his theme song genes from his mother’s side.
— David Shoemaker (@AKATheMaskedMan) October 15, 2013
I bet The Shield’s entrance wouldn’t be nearly as cool if they came down an escalator. #RAW
— Adam Lucidi (@adamlucidi) October 15, 2013
I really want to see the Rhodes Family win this, as big of a Shield fan as I am
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) October 15, 2013
Too busy actually investing in this tag match to tweet hyperbole.
— George E. Boy (@NotGeorgieBoy) October 15, 2013
Seth Rollins mocks Goldust’s taunt then dives at him, but gets powerslammed.
What did you learn, Seth Rollins?
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 15, 2013
Goldust wrestling the greatest matches of his career in his 40’s, does this guy age backwards or what? #RAW
— Stacey (@LittleSherbie) October 15, 2013
LOL, Roman Reigns yelling then getting made a fool off
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) October 15, 2013
Cody popped Roman on the nose like a puppy who pissed in the house. Roman: RAWR Cody: NO!
— GOLDLUST (@Osito1034) October 15, 2013
Dean Ambrose attacks Cody Rhodes and Goldust.
Good timing Dean!
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) October 15, 2013
The Usos would help The Rhodes Family, but…they’re still mad about not getting their title shot.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 15, 2013
Goldust cleans house with a chair!
Whoa! Goldust with the Cross-Chair-Body Press!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 15, 2013
Seth Rollins powerbombs Cody Rhodes on the guardrail!
OOOOH! THAT RUNNING RELEASE POWERBOMB! GOD DAMN!
— George E. Boy (@NotGeorgieBoy) October 15, 2013
JESUS CHRIST! CODY IS DEAD!/
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) October 15, 2013
Roman Reigns spears Goldust through the Barricade!
NOW GOLDUST IS DEAD!
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) October 15, 2013
Bodies have been broken! #wwe #Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) October 15, 2013
Dean Ambrose tries to get help The Shield win, but Big Show walks down through the crowd.
Hey, we have an intruder!
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) October 15, 2013
How Did You Not Spot the Giant-est Man of All Time!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 15, 2013
Big Show takes out Dean Ambrose. Cody Rhodes goes for the Beautiful Disaster, but Roman Reigns ducks. Big Show knocks out Roman Reigns!
#BigShowSavesThings
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 15, 2013
YOU ARE NOT EMPLOYED!!!!! COME ON.
— Saul Goodman (@RitaHepburn) October 15, 2013
WHERE IS SECURITY?? #wwe #Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) October 15, 2013
WWE security is TERRIBLE
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) October 15, 2013
Winners and NEWWWWW Tag Team Champions: The Rhodes Dynasty
WE HAVE NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!!!!
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) October 15, 2013
YESSSS #RhodesDynasty
— Shay Mitchell (@ShayLMitchell) October 15, 2013
NOW THE USOS HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE PISSED!
— GOLDLUST (@Osito1034) October 15, 2013
I Guess Big Show and Cody Rhodes Made Up After Their Whole “You’re a Joke” Feud.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 15, 2013
The Rhodes Dynasty celebrates while Big Show chants “YES!” in the crowd.
“Arrest That Giant Criminal” – JBL
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 15, 2013
@NotGeorgieBoy it’s a historical moment!
— Katie Donaldson (@_katierose13) October 15, 2013
Ain’t even mad The Shield lost, the tag titles went to the deserving team. Hell of a match by all involved. 👏 #RAW
— Stacey (@LittleSherbie) October 15, 2013
So That Happened:
Aw, Man What an Ending! The Rhodes Dynasty Lives On And the First Crack in the Shield’s Armor. And it’s Thanks To … The Big Show?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 15, 2013
That was some main event there.
— Not Regal (@RegalSays) October 15, 2013
This is the first time in a long time that the WWE Tag Team Titles were defended in the Main Event and treated like a big deal. Love it!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 15, 2013