The Rated R Superstar, Edge makes his return!
In the words of Tony Chimel, it’s the Rated R “SOUP-erstar” Edge!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) September 10, 2013
Edge is dressed like the coolest guy on a hunting trip. #RAW
— Thomas Green (@NotThatTomGreen) September 10, 2013
Ive seriously missed Edge. Welcome home. #wwe #RAW
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) September 10, 2013
Tony Chimel announces Edge in classic Chimel fashion.
Hahahaha! They actually got Tony Chimel to do it!!!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) September 10, 2013
Only Chimel can introduce Edge lol
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) September 10, 2013
Edge tells us that everytime he comes out here, the WWE Universe reminds him why this is home. Edge welcomes us to The Cutting Edge then reveals the reason he’s here tonight is because he’s was requested by Triple H to have a reunion with Rated RKO Tag Partner, Randy Orton. Edge would rather have a reunion with his best friend Christian.
I don’t want a reunion of Rated RKO unless they have a mashup theme song again.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) September 10, 2013
“now lemme tell you a story about the time I met a crackhead” – Edge
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) September 10, 2013
Edge says he’s know Randy Orton a long time and that Orton is like watching paint dry. Edge says he doesn’t have a problem with the way Orton cashed in, but he has a problem with the fact that Orton is now Triple H’s lackey. Edge refuses to put Randy Orton on The Cutting Edge. Instead, Edge brings out a guest that’ll be good for business, Daniel Bryan!
D-Bry is in Edge’s fav five.
— George E. Boy (@NotGeorgieBoy) September 10, 2013
After a loud Daniel Bryan chant. Edge tells Daniel Bryan that he appreciates him coming out tonight since he’s been through a lot. Bryan agrees with Edge, but thinks it helps when you have so many people chanting your name. Bryan reminds us of the multiple attacks from Triple H and The Shield, but Bryan says there’s satisfaction in the struggle, because no matter how many times he gets attacked and held down by Triple H, he WILL beat Randy Orton, WILL regain the WWE Championship and WILL be WWE Champion.
“There is satisfaction in the struggle.” -Daniel Bryan quoting Robin Thicke’s next single. #RAW
— Thomas Green (@NotThatTomGreen) September 10, 2013
Edge likes Daniel Bryan because of his determination and the fact that he sees a little bit of himself in Daniel Bryan. Edge says that he knows Bryan loves wrestling and that the people chose Daniel Bryan so he needs to beat Randy Orton. Edge tells Bryan that he doesn’t know if he can beat Orton, but he deserves a fair shot. Edge asks Bryan if he thinks he can beat Randy Orton, shove it in the man’s face and become the WWE Champion. Bryan screams “YES!” but is cut off by Randy Orton.
Randy Orton is why we can’t have nice things. #RAW
— Drop ToeHold (@Drop_ToeHold) September 10, 2013
Randy Orton tells Edge that it’s a shame that every time he comes back, the only people who give a crap is Canada. Orton says it’s also a shame that Edge’s body failed him at such a young age. Edge says it’s a shame that Orton’s supposed to be the face of the WWE, but he acts like an entirely different body part. Edge tells Orton that he may have problems with his spine, but at least he has one.
Edge is on fire lol
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) September 10, 2013
Edge tells Randy Orton that he’s become Triple H’s puppet. Edge thinks Triple H has a great mind, but when it comes to picking talent, he flat out sucks.
“When it comes to picking talent and seeing talent, Triple H ust flat out sucks. I mean…c’mon. Sin Cara? Really?” – Edge
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) September 10, 2013
Kharma: EXCUSE ME? Sin Cara: He’s right.
— Powerline (@Osito1034) September 10, 2013
Before Edge can continue, Triple H comes out to the King Of Kings music. Triple H that since Edge has something to say, he’d like him to say it to his face. Edge agrees since he doesn’t have to bite his tongue like the rest of the roster because he doesn’t work here. Edge thinks Triple H doesn’t know a damn about picking talent because he didn’t think Edge, Chris Jericho or John Cena could make it. Edge calls Triple H out on saying Daniel Bryan can’t make it. Edge tells Triple H that he knows his nose is huge, but he has to learn to look past it.
Trips was mad after Cena smackcamd Stephanie’s ass.
— Powerline (@Osito1034) September 10, 2013
Triple H’s nose hasnt been mentioned in forever. Maybe because the guys in the back no better. #wwe #RAW
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) September 10, 2013
Triple H welcomes Edge to RAW and says it’s great to see him because it’s “Best For Business.” Triple H says that he had Edge on to promote Haven then promotes Haven (Friday Nights on SyFy at 10PM EST right after Friday Night Smackdown)
Getting Triple H to plug Haven is going to make everyone not watch it.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) September 10, 2013
Triple H says that he may have gotten a few wrong about talent over the years, but he’s right about a lot too. Triple H admits to being wrong about Chris Jericho and John Cena, and thinks time will tell if Daniel Bryan proves him wrong. Triple H says that he was right about one person being a failure and that person is Edge.
Triple H with the salty speech.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) September 10, 2013
Edge a failure? That is blasphemy! #wwe #RAW
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) September 10, 2013
Triple H says we can come out here and pretend that Edge is a big star and a legend because they’re in Canada, but claims that the “Rated R Superstar” Experiment was a failure. Triple H says Edge never drew a dime. Triple H claims that usually when he says that, the person gets the opportunity to prove them wrong, like Chris Jericho and John Cena did. Triple H says that Daniel Bryan will get the opportunity to prove him wrong tonight in a match against Dean Ambrose. Triple H says The Shield will be in Ambrose’s corner, and The Big Show will be in Daniel Bryan’s corner since Edge’s ability to fight like a man has long passed.
“Edge’s ability to fight like a man has long passed.” Aahahaha
— Barrylad (@TheBarrylad) September 10, 2013
Daniel Bryan with the “#BigShowRuinsThings” face.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) September 10, 2013
Triple H claims that contrary to popular belief, he is not a dictator. After being cut off by an asshole chant, Edge says that he didn’t have to marry into success because he earned his Hall Of Fame ring. Edge tells Triple H that he’s not a dictator, he’s just a dick.
“You’re not a dictator, Hunter. You’re just a dick.” I’ve missed Edge!
— George E. Boy (@NotGeorgieBoy) September 10, 2013
Edge is coming out with solid gold tonight. #RAW
— Stacey (@LittleSherbie) September 10, 2013
Triple H says it’s easy for Edge to talk since he can’t fight and has a “stack of dimes” for a neck, but since he can’t hurt Edge, he can hurt the ones he loves. The Shield bring out a beaten Christian.
Omg, they killed Christian!
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) September 10, 2013
Christian: *Eating a sandwich. The Shield walk up* Hey guys! What’s-*Realizes* Oh shi- *Minutes later, Christian is dragged out on RAW*
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) September 10, 2013
Edge runs to the ramp and tends to a fallen Christian. Edge demands that the referees get some help.
You see the state Christian is in? They was workin’ him over before Edge entered in the building, lmao.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) September 10, 2013
This is not the Edge & Christian reunion I wanted! #wwe #RAW
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) September 10, 2013
Christian was put down by HHH. Lita and Vickie Guerrero better watch their backs. #wwe #RAW
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) September 10, 2013
Christian Should’ve Taken a Personal Day.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) September 10, 2013
Backstage: Edge storms backstage and interrupts Triple H and Stephanie McMahon, but The Shield stop him. Edge says he wishes his doctors would clear him because he’d come for him. Triple H says he knows the doctors won’t clear him and tells Edge who the hell he thinks he is on his show and his town running his mouth like that? Triple H tells Edge to get out of his town, his city, his building, and off his show. Triple H offers for The Shield to escort him out, but Edge walks out on his own.
Hunter really thinks he’s struck gold with that “stack of dimes” comment. #WWE #Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) September 10, 2013
Triple H, You Should Watch Haven. Everyone on that Show Has Eerie Powers … (I Think: I’ve Never Seen the Show)
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) September 10, 2013
Match 01: Kofi Kingston vs. Curtis Axel
They always bring Kofi Kingston out after the awkward moments.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) September 10, 2013
Based on His Tights, I Think Kofi Kingston is Going as “Kofi Kingston: Intercontinental Champion” For Halloween.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) September 10, 2013
Paul Heyman’s fuzz is encouraging to us who just hit puberty at age 24. #RAW
— Thomas Green (@NotThatTomGreen) September 10, 2013
Curtis Axel refuses to stop kicking Kofi Kingston in the corner. Curtis Axel gets disqualified.
That is no way to attack your NXT Season 2 pro…
— Not Regal (@RegalSays) September 10, 2013
Winner: Kofi Kingston via DQ
Well…Kofi won!
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) September 10, 2013
Axel, you idiot!
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) September 10, 2013
See, this makes sense, because Curtis Axel is Curt Hennig’s son and Kofi Kingston still listens to Master P. #RAW
— Thomas Green (@NotThatTomGreen) September 10, 2013
Paul Heyman tells Curtis Axel how important it is to NOT get disqualified this Sunday at Night Of Champions. Curtis Axel understands the message, but Kofi Kingston attacks him. Kofi Kingston hits Curtis Axel with the Trouble In Paradise.
Kofi Kingston is Now Officially a FORMER McGillibuddy
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) September 10, 2013
Paul Heyman is a better Intercontinental Champion than Curtis Axel
— Diego Violence (@Miss_Dani_Baby) September 10, 2013
Backstage: Paul Heyman is seen on the floor as the referee and Curtis Axel try and lift him up. Apparently, Paul Heyman slipped and injured his knee on water. The doctors want him to get checked on.
Paul Heyman is faking injuries too? I blame The NFL for all of this. #wwe #Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) September 10, 2013
Paul Heyman used to do the same thing to get out of gym class as a kid.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) September 10, 2013
Rikishi put the water in the hallway. #raw
— Victoria (@prettyheartless) September 10, 2013
It was Eve in a blonde wig pretending to be Goldust. #WhoPutTheWaterInTheHallway
— Rybitch Rules (@clparty) September 10, 2013
Backstage: Big Show is sitting down upset until he’s approached by Booker T. Booker T walks up and asks to talk to him. Booker T says that last week was one of the worst weeks of Show’s life and tonight he’s probably going to want to take it out on someone. Booker T admits that despite not always seeing eye to eye with Big Show, he’s also respected him and watched his career from the beginning. Booker T reminds Big Show that Cody Rhodes got fired and says that people are calling Show a sellout.
If Booker T. isn’t GM anymore, is he now the @WWE guidance counselor? #RAW
— Thomas Green (@NotThatTomGreen) September 10, 2013
Booker T says that the people aren’t in his shoes and that Big Show is a professional. Booker T claims he would’ve done the exact same thing last week. Booker T tells Big Show that tonight, the people are going to want him to be a hero. Booker T tells Big Show to think about his daughter and family before he does anything stupid. Booker T tells Big Show to not let his pride make a mistake that he can’t take back. Big Show says pride is all he has left, thanks Booker T then walks off.
I like how Booker keeps randomly showing up harassing people. “Daniel, dwag, give up that title match”, “Big Show dawg, be a sellout”
— Shay Mitchell (@ShayLMitchell) September 10, 2013
Booker T the giant whisperer
— Diego Violence (@Miss_Dani_Baby) September 10, 2013
Does Booker T just walk around and play devil’s advocate backstage?
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) September 10, 2013
Why is Booker T the Voice of Compromise? Has He Not Seen His Own Hall of Fame Video Package? He Needs to Rise Up!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) September 10, 2013
Kaitlyn: *About to get candy from a vending machine* Booker T: THINK ABOUT IT KAITLYN…Think about CAVITIES! Kaitlyn:…*Takes an apple*
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) September 10, 2013
Match 02: Dolph Ziggler vs. Bray Wyatt
the coolest entrance around… the wyatt family!
— Angélica Stark (@angie_chipz) September 10, 2013
The Wyatt Family have passports. Thats hilarious to me. #wwe #Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) September 10, 2013
It’s past Labor Day, Bray!
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) September 10, 2013
Dolph Can’t #ZiggleWiggle to This! Mind Games, Advantage: Bray Wyatt.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) September 10, 2013
Dolph Ziggler puts up a valiant effort, but gets hit with Sister Abigail.
Sister Abigail!
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) September 10, 2013
Winner: Bray Wyatt
“This is the beginning of the end for Dolph Ziggler.” Yeah, I get that impression too.
— Barrylad (@TheBarrylad) September 10, 2013
If Goldust can come back to avenge Cody, Can somebody from The Spirit Squad come back to Avenge Dolph? #wwe #Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) September 10, 2013
Paul Heyman brings his Doctor out to ringside.
Paul Heyman’s Doctor is…Billy Mays’ brother?? #wwe #raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) September 10, 2013
Paul Heyman’s doctor is more physically imposing than the Intercontinental Champion. #RAW
— Thomas Green (@NotThatTomGreen) September 10, 2013
Paul Heyman’s Doctor Looks Like the Son of Dr. Death Steve Williams.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) September 10, 2013
Guys Paul Heyman’s Doctor Could Be: That Guy From System Of A Down, Dr. Demento Sandow, Son of Steve Williams, and Steve Blackman. #RAW
— Drop ToeHold (@Drop_ToeHold) September 10, 2013
Paul Heyman says that he doesn’t trust the Canadian Health Care system, so thanks to Curtis Axel, he is able to bring his personal doctor on the road with him. Heyman introduces Dr. Michael Kirshenbaum from New York City.
Can’t go wrong with a Jew York doctor.
— Victoria (@prettyheartless) September 10, 2013
Most People Just Bring a Doctor’s Note. Paul Heyman Brings the Doctor!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) September 10, 2013
Paul Heyman claims Dr. Kirshenbaum has confirmed his fear and that Heyman tore his meniscus and his ACL and would require an MRI. Heyman regretfully withdraws himself from competition, and apologizes about not being able to be at Night Of Champions. Paul Heyman says he is going to return to NYC to receive the proper medical care, and like Edge said in the past, he will be back. Brad Maddox comes out with Doctor Michael Sampson and tells Heyman that WWE has licensed doctors and training who are qualified to give him a medical evaluation.
First Doctor Sampson was on Total Divas. Now he’s on RAW. He’s having the best week ever!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) September 10, 2013
Brad Maddox says if Paul Heyman is truly injured, the only way he can be officially removed from the match is to be evaluated by Doctor Sampson. Sampson wants Paul Heyman to sit down on a chair. A “Sit” chant breaks out.
Look at How Polite This Canadian Crowd Is! They’re Chanting “SIT! SIT! SIT!”
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) September 10, 2013
Doctor Sampson tells Paul Heyman to roll his pant leg up then examines his knee as a “This Is Awkward” chant breaks out.
I wonder if that was the first “THIS IS AWKWARD” chant in wrestling history. #Raw
— thechrishaley (@thechrishaley) September 10, 2013
Can you imagine paying good money for front row seats to this?
— Rybitch Rules (@clparty) September 10, 2013
C’Mon, Paul. Nikki Bella Didn’t Scream This Much When She Was Getting Stretched Out on #TotalDivas Last Night.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) September 10, 2013
Doctor Sampson reveals that Paul Heyman is fine and good to go for Night Of Champions.
Dr. Sampson is a miracle worker he saved Lawlers life and cured Heymans knee by touching it #raw
— Brian Regina (@The_Bryback) September 10, 2013
Paul Heyman tries to play off the injury, claiming that Doctor Sampson has a personal issue with him. As Heyman yells at Doctor Sampson, CM Punk’s music plays!
Close enough! I’ll take that! #RAW
— Drop ToeHold (@Drop_ToeHold) September 10, 2013
CM Punk chases Paul Heyman out of the ring with a kendo stick then takes out Curtis Axel. CM Punk turns his attention to Doctor Kirshenbaum as a “Hit The Doctor” chant breaks out.
No, CM Punk! Don’t attack Doctor Zizmor!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) September 10, 2013
CM Punk teases letting the doctor go, but starts whipping him with the Kendo Stick instead.
They call him Dr. Phil Good
— Best For Beekness (@JaimsVanDerBeek) September 10, 2013
Punk with some real Kendo Shtick, word to Steve Blackman.
— Barrylad (@TheBarrylad) September 10, 2013
I’m not convinced Heyman’s doctor isn’t Kevin from American Pie.
— Victoria (@prettyheartless) September 10, 2013
Match 03: Naomi, Natalya and Brie Bella vs. Alicia Fox, Aksana and Layla
It’s #TotalDivas: Naomi, Brie Bella and Natalya Versus #TotallyDivas: Aksana, Layla and Alicia Fox!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) September 10, 2013
AJ Lee comes out to be on commentary.
Commander AJ assembled her a nice heel team. Fight for the lost! #wwe #RAW
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) September 10, 2013
Word? Aksana and Layla couldn’t text Alicia Fox the memo to wear blue? They couldn’t Snapchat her their outfit?
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) September 10, 2013
AJ Lee talks about how she has the date she won the title tattooed on the back of her neck. Lawler asks if she has any other tattoos and AJ says she’s a little too old for him because she’s 26 years old and she knows he likes them young. Lawler says that AJ is a little too ugly for her too.
SHE SAID SHE TOO OLD FOR HIM, SHE’S 26 LOLOLOLOLOLOL
— Alex Rogan (@failraiser) September 10, 2013
Daaaaamn! Jerry Lawler’s gonna have his first match on RAW in a year and it’s gonna be against AJ Lee!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) September 10, 2013
AJ clears up that she’s not jealous of the girls on Total Divas and that her #Pipebombshell wasn’t for attention or to piss anybody off. It was a call to arms to make the girls to get better. AJ wants them to step it up or else they don’t deserve a title shot.
AJ Lee on Commentary is Killing It Right Now! #ACalltoArms
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) September 10, 2013
” I main evented Raw like three times, try watching the product.”
— Chris Riddle (@ChrisRiddle) September 10, 2013
Natalya locks Alicia Fox in the Sharpshooter.
Sharpshooter pop in Canada!
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) September 10, 2013
Winner: Natalya
You know Layla if you stopped taking selfies and trained this wouldn’t happen.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) September 10, 2013
Post-Match, AJ has a staredown with the Divas.
AJ Lee Just Ripped the Divas, the Commentators, and Got Me Excited for Her Match at Night of Champions! #WatchTheProduct
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) September 10, 2013
Backstage: Rob Van Dam says that on Sunday, a new Champion will be crowned. And his name isn’t ADR, it’s RVD.
RVD, staring intently at the brownie someone is holding just above the camera. #WWE #Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) September 10, 2013
Match 04: R-Truth vs. Alberto Del Rio
Damn it! What happened to the whole R-Truth being banned from Canada thing?!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) September 10, 2013
Canada Has Dudley Do Right. America Has Dudley Do Wrong aka R-Truth.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) September 10, 2013
The highlight of his career was marching around the ring in a Confederate Army uniform. Think about that.
— Rybitch Rules (@clparty) September 10, 2013
I Know Alberto Del Rio Usually Breaks Arms But If He Could Break the Jaw of R-Truth, I’d Consider it a Personal Favor.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) September 10, 2013
The crowd turns on the match and starts chanting for JBL, Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler.
Oh, we’re doing the chant the announcers thing again?
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) September 10, 2013
See? The Crowd is Chanting for JBL. I Blame R-Truth. Get Him, Del Rio!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) September 10, 2013
The crowd starts doing the wave.
I Wonder If They’re Doing the Wave to Make Canada Feel More Like Mexico for Alberto Del Rio.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) September 10, 2013
This isn’t fair to Alberto Del Rio.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) September 10, 2013
The crowd starts chanting for The Undertaker!
Honestly, Guys, You Just Did a Bunch of Chants for the Announcers and Then the Undertaker. You Think You Deserve Taker After That?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) September 10, 2013
Undertaker’s not here, Toronto. He’s on a couch, watching football and wearing a beer hat while Michelle McCool vacuums up his nacho crumbs.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) September 10, 2013
Alberto Del Rio kicks R-Truth in the head.
ADR just kicked Truth into thinking his name was K-Kwik
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) September 10, 2013
Winner: Alberto Del Rio
Canada hates everyone in this match. #wwe #RAW
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) September 10, 2013
Match 05: Antonio Cesaro vs. ???
Zeb Colter speaks about Canada calling it neighbor in name only. Colter claims that Canada doesn’t help out America. Colter calls Canadians America’s maple syrup chugging, moose hunting, boring cousins. Colter says it’s not too late for Canada and all they need to do is put their hand over their heart, speak in a loud clear voice and say “We The People!”
Canada Helps America All The Time. It’s Where the NASA Rocket Was Built. Buzz Aldrin Told Us The Last Time He Was On RAW!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) September 10, 2013
Zeb Colter is cut off by Santino Marella’s theme music!
YEAAHHHH
— KH2157EN (@khristheunicorn) September 10, 2013
Son of ma gun…
— Not Regal (@RegalSays) September 10, 2013
Yup. That’s right, folks. It’s gonna be a Santino episode. *Slides you the remote* There’s the clicker!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) September 10, 2013
Edge Comes Back! Goldust Comes Back! Santino Comes Back? #OneOfTheseThingsIsNotLikeTheOther
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) September 10, 2013
A loud Maple Syrup chant breaks out.
Maple syrup?! Really?! #raw #wwe
— Katie Rose (@_katierose13) September 10, 2013
Antonio Cesaro locks Santino Marella in the Giant Swing.
Giant swing! #pop #raw
— Victoria (@prettyheartless) September 10, 2013
The longer Antonio Cesaro swings Santino Marella around, the quicker the crowd stops chanting Maple Syrup.
CESARO SHUTTING THAT CROWD UP!!!
— GOLDLUST (@Osito1034) September 10, 2013
Holy crap the endurance of Cesaro.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) September 10, 2013
The Giant Swing will always be THE MOVE. #wwe #RAW
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) September 10, 2013
Antonio Cesaro is AMAZING!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) September 10, 2013
That is one of the best things I have ever seen, Cesaro! #Raw
— H П N K (@Jayfuz) September 10, 2013
How do you get a crowd to stop chanting dumb stuff? SWING A GROWN MAN AROUND IN A CIRCLE FOR A FULL MINUTE. #RAW
— Thomas Green (@NotThatTomGreen) September 10, 2013
Antonio Cesaro almost wins the match, but gets taken down by a Judo Throw Over.
JUDO THROW! OVER!
— George E. Boy (@NotGeorgieBoy) September 10, 2013
Winner: Santino Marella?!
I DO NOT HAVE A REACTIONARY IMAGE TO EXPRESS THE EXPRESSION ON MY FACE
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) September 10, 2013
Santino DID NOT Beat Antonio Cesaro. Cesaro’s So Good, He Beat Himself.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) September 10, 2013
Greatest Santino Match Ever. #wwe #Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) September 10, 2013
Damn it! Santino Marella takes ONE MMA Class at the Y and somehow, he picks up a win over Antonio Cesaro!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) September 10, 2013
Match 06: Damien Sandow vs. The Miz
Damien Sandow is here to grace us all!
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) September 10, 2013
Damien Sandow teases cashing in the Money In The Bank Briefcase, but says until he does that, he remains the uncrowned world Champion. Before he can finish, he’s cut off by The Miz’s music.
I’ve never hated Miz more in my life than I do at this very moment. #neverinterruptsandow #raw
— Victoria (@prettyheartless) September 10, 2013
The Real World: New York just aired in Canada last year, so no wonder The Miz has fans in Toronto. #RAW
— Thomas Green (@NotThatTomGreen) September 10, 2013
Wow! That one kid was really happy to see The Miz. America has “Angry Miz Fan.” Canada has “Happy Miz Fan.” It really is bizzaro world!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) September 10, 2013
Fandango’s music plays.
It’s Fandango, Summer Rae, and most of a dress! #WWE #Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) September 10, 2013
Fandango looks like a sexy squirrel. #RAW
— Thomas Green (@NotThatTomGreen) September 10, 2013
Fandango dances while The Miz looks confused.
Funniest part of all of this MizDango stuff: Miz trying to figure out what precisely the crowd sees in Fandango.#RAW
— Drop ToeHold (@Drop_ToeHold) September 10, 2013
Damien Sandow rolls up The Miz.
Winner: Damien Sandow
Post-Match, Fandango says his name.
Fandango came out just to remind Miz how to say his name. #Raw
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) September 10, 2013
Backstage: Renee Young introduces Goldust.
Renee Young got a pop! I love it.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) September 10, 2013
Renee Young asks Goldust if he’s mentally prepared for his match tonight against Randy Orton. Goldust says that he is and that there’s no secret that he’s been the screwup of the family. Goldust tells Renee that while he’s messed up all of his chances in the WWE, Cody Rhodes has always lived the right way.
It’s Kind of Messed Up That a 2-time Intercontinental Champion Can Still Be The Embarrassment of a Family.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) September 10, 2013
Goldust says that this is all because Triple H wants to embarrass the Rhodes Family name. Goldust says tonight Cody Rhodes has a second chance and that Randy Orton will never forget the name of-Triple H cuts him off.
No one said Best For Business, Triple H, stop it.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) September 10, 2013
Triple H asks Goldust how he’s doing and it’s been a long time since he’s been in the WWE. Triple H tries to get into Goldust’s head by talking about how if Goldust loses tonight, Cody Rhodes doesn’t get his job back. Triple H tells Goldust that he has the weight of the world on his shoulders then wishes him good luck. Triple H says he hopes Goldust doesn’t let them down.
Tip for Goldust: Stay away from the powerlines. #wwe #RAW
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) September 10, 2013
Match 07: Goldust vs. Randy Orton
Goldust’s theme makes me 6 kinds of giddy. #shattereddreamsproductions #raw
— Victoria (@prettyheartless) September 10, 2013
Always liked the fact Goldust was different than everyone else. I also liked the fact he stood in the corner before the match started.
— Finn, The Human (@RitaHepburn) September 10, 2013
Goldust is going to show Randy is lovely Orton tattoo on his chest and freak him the hell out. #wwe #raw #MindGames
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) September 10, 2013
I bet Big Show invested in Shattered Dreams productions. #wwe #RAW
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) September 10, 2013
Goldust gets a “You Still Got It” chant:
Of course Goldust still has it! We saw him at the Royal Rumble in January.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) September 10, 2013
No one on #RAW has said “Gold is the new black” tonight, so we can assume that Netflix is a banned substance in the Wellness Policy.
— Thomas Green (@NotThatTomGreen) September 10, 2013
Goldust hits the Cross Rhodes on Randy Orton!
SEE YOU AT THE CROSS RHODES #GoldThugzNHarmony
— George E. Boy (@NotGeorgieBoy) September 10, 2013
But Randy Orton kicks out at 2!
DAMMIT!!!
— GOLDLUST (@Osito1034) September 10, 2013
Maybe The Rhodes should stop doing Cross Rhodes… #wwe #RAW
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) September 10, 2013
Randy Orton hits the RKO.
Orton is immune to the CrossRhodes apparently. Some cross rhodes Alchemy he does #raw
— McEnroe Smackaheaux (@WellYoureWrong) September 10, 2013
Winner: Randy Orton
Goddamnit man #thesads #raw
— McEnroe Smackaheaux (@WellYoureWrong) September 10, 2013
Goldust, You Can Hit Orton in the Junk Now, You Know.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) September 10, 2013
Post-Match, Randy Orton takes the mic, stands over Goldust and says “Looks like your dream of saving your baby brother’s career has been shattered, just like Daniel Bryan’s dream of taking the WWE Championship will be shattered at Night Of Champions.”
What Orton Should’ve Said was “Goldust, Where The WWE Is Going, It Doesn’t Need Rhodes!” and Then Put on a Pair of Sunglasses.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) September 10, 2013
Backstage: Goldust walks backstage defeated.
aww man poor goldie. #RAW
— The Mer™ (@mare_bare) September 10, 2013
Omg Goldust looks like a heartbroken emo kid right now. #WWE
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) September 10, 2013
Goldust looks so sad right now. Like the cowardly lion from the Wizard Of Oz.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) September 10, 2013
Stephanie McMahon walks up to Goldust.
And Here Comes Stephanie to Deliver the Verbal Shattered Dreams.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) September 10, 2013
Stephanie McMahon tells Goldust that he must be disappointed and that Cody Rhodes and his wife must be disappointed because Cody doesn’t have a job anymore. Stephanie says that the reason Cody doesn’t have a job anymore is all because of him. Stephanie tells Goldust that he let his whole family and the WWE Universe down then asks him how it feels to be a loser, just like his brother. Stephanie McMahon tells Goldust to go join Cody Rhodes in the unemployment line. As Goldust is about to leave, Stephanie tells him to tell his Dad she said Hi.
How To Be An Encouraging Boss: a book by Stephanie McMahon. #raw
— Kara (@karaadora) September 10, 2013
Shane, please come back and give your stupid sister a noogie. #raw
— Victoria (@prettyheartless) September 10, 2013
Match 08: Rob Van Dam vs. Ryback RicRod introduces Rob Van Dam.
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROB! VAN! DAM!
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) September 10, 2013
RicRod. Just stop. It’s sad now.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) September 10, 2013
Plot twist. RVD’s return was just a ploy to sell those foam hands leftover from 2003. #RAW
— Stacey (@LittleSherbie) September 10, 2013
#TheRyback !!!!!¡¡¡¡ #raw
— McEnroe Smackaheaux (@WellYoureWrong) September 10, 2013
OHHH MY GOD! We’re actually getting RVD vs. Ryback! Battle of the singlette’s! Winner gets the Air Brush Guy to work for them fulltime.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) September 10, 2013
If RVD and The Ryback Collide Into Each Other Hard Enough, Will They Explode, Leaving only a Wardrobe Behind?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) September 10, 2013
Alberto Del Rio comes out on stage and calls Rob Van Dam a “washed up loser” and RicRod a “peasant.” Del Rio claims that without him, RicRod is nothing. Del Rio says that the two of them belong together, just like he belongs with the World Heavyweight Championship. Del Rio says after Night Of Champions, the WWE Universe won’t be chanting RVD. They’ll be chanting ADR.
No One’s Chanting “R-B-D” Alberto Del Rio!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) September 10, 2013
“RBD? You’re nothing but a washed up looser? And Ricardo? You are nothing but a piss ant!” – Alberto Del Rio being unintentionally funny.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) September 10, 2013
Rob Van Dam tries to dive on Ryback, but Ryback moves and RVD collides with the barricade. Ryback throws Rob Van Dam on the ringpost crotch first.
RVDeez nuts in the pole.
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) September 10, 2013
Winner: Rob Van Dam (Via DQ)
Ryback really has forgotten how to win matches, huh?
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) September 10, 2013
Post-match, Ryback hits The Shell Shock on Rob Van Dam.
Ryback, go home you’re drunk. #RAW
— Stacey (@LittleSherbie) September 10, 2013
Backstage: Big Show is on his way to the ring until he is stopped by Stephanie McMahon. Stephanie McMahon informs Big Show that he is not allowed to put a finger on The Shield tonight and that he has a special seat at ringside. Stephanie tells Big Show that if he touches The Shield, he’ll be terminated.
It’s the GTA III rule. The NPC’s can beat you up but if you fight back the cops will bust YOUR ass cos of it.
— Not Regal (@RegalSays) September 10, 2013
Big Show Can’t Lay a Finger on the Shield. But What About a Fist? Or a Boot?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) September 10, 2013
Stephanie McMahon tells Big Show this is what’s Best For Business, then walks off. Big Show gets angry then destroys a TV.
Big Show just went all Barney from How I Met Your Mother on that TV!
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) September 10, 2013
What a shame. That TV was two days away from retirement…
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) September 10, 2013
Match 09: Daniel Bryan vs. Dean Ambrose (Big Show sits at ringside)
I’m so pleased Ambrose actually wears his title. Take note, Lenny and Squiggy. #raw
— Victoria (@prettyheartless) September 10, 2013
I don’t want to watch the match from behind Big Show’s noggin.
— Diego Violence (@Miss_Dani_Baby) September 10, 2013
Big Show tries to cheer Daniel Bryan on.
Big Show: The World’s Largest Cheerleader
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) September 10, 2013
Big Show’s not allowed to tell anyone to get up and fight. He’s the guy that would rather cry than have a match last week.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) September 10, 2013
Roman Reigns goes for the spear but hits the ring steps. Seth Rollins dives at Daniel Bryan but hits the table.
Oh, Poor Roman Reigns! The Only Thing That Stops the Shield is the Steel!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) September 10, 2013
Missing the spear? Hitting the announce table? The Shield does NOT look good as a unit right now.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) September 10, 2013
Reigns & Rollins sounds like a smooth, sexy mid-80’s R&B duo. #RAW
— Thomas Green (@NotThatTomGreen) September 10, 2013
Daniel Bryan hits Dean Ambrose with the small package.
Winner: Daniel Bryan
Daniel Bryan wins! Just call him Mr. Small Packag-…wait. Nevermind.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) September 10, 2013
Post-Match, Dean Ambrose tries to attack Daniel Bryan but gets knocked over the top rope on top of Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns.
Randy Orton runs down to the ring, but Daniel Bryan takes him down with a suicide dive.
See What Happens When You Run, Randy? Daniel Bryan Launches At You!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) September 10, 2013
Daniel Bryan gets the upperhand until The Shield attacks Daniel Bryan. Big Show almost interferes, but he stops himself.
Stephanie Said Don’t Hit the Shield. She Didn’t Say Anything About Randy Orton. Learn Your Loopholes, Mr. Iron Clad Contract!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) September 10, 2013
This would be a good time for #BrieMode. #raw @nicoleandbri
— Victoria (@prettyheartless) September 10, 2013
Randy Orton hits the RKO on Daniel Bryan.
Every wrestling fan has achieved Red Lantern status by now, I am certain. #RAW
— Drop ToeHold (@Drop_ToeHold) September 10, 2013
Triple H comes out and demands that Big Show pick up Daniel Bryan and knock him out. Big Show reluctantly walks back to the ring and almost does it, but stops himself.
Big Show’s Choice is right up there with Sophie’s and Sam’s.
— Long Tim (@TimWelcomed) September 10, 2013
Randy Orton yells at Big Show demanding that Big Show listen to him since he is the WWE Champion. Orton orders Big Show to knock out Daniel Bryan.
Uh-oh. Randy Orton’s I.E.D. is gonna get him T.K.O.’d
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) September 10, 2013
Randy Orton turns around and gets a knee to the face from Daniel Bryan!
FINALLY
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) September 10, 2013
It’s Randy Orton’s fault for screaming and waking Daniel Bryan up. Then he screamed “YES!” twice. That REALLY woke Bryan up.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) September 10, 2013
Daniel Bryan holds the WWE Championship and screams “YES!” along with the WWE Universe.
YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) September 10, 2013
So That Happened:
I enjoyed #Raw. Goldust and Santino put on a show. #wwe
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) September 10, 2013
Very satisfying to see a different ending.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) September 10, 2013
The Edge & Christian reunion party is still going on at the hospital Btw. #wwe #Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) September 10, 2013