So That Happened: 09/09/13

The Rated R Superstar, Edge makes his return!

Tony Chimel announces Edge in classic Chimel fashion.

Edge tells us that everytime he comes out here, the WWE Universe reminds him why this is home. Edge welcomes us to The Cutting Edge then reveals the reason he’s here tonight is because he’s was requested by Triple H to have a reunion with Rated RKO Tag Partner, Randy Orton. Edge would rather have a reunion with his best friend Christian.

Edge says he’s know Randy Orton a long time and that Orton is like watching paint dry. Edge says he doesn’t have a problem with the way Orton cashed in, but he has a problem with the fact that Orton is now Triple H’s lackey. Edge refuses to put Randy Orton on The Cutting Edge. Instead, Edge brings out a guest that’ll be good for business, Daniel Bryan!

After a loud Daniel Bryan chant. Edge tells Daniel Bryan that he appreciates him coming out tonight since he’s been through a lot. Bryan agrees with Edge, but thinks it helps when you have so many people chanting your name. Bryan reminds us of the multiple attacks from Triple H and The Shield, but Bryan says there’s satisfaction in the struggle, because no matter how many times he gets attacked and held down by Triple H, he WILL beat Randy Orton, WILL regain the WWE Championship and WILL be WWE Champion.

Edge likes Daniel Bryan because of his determination and the fact that he sees a little bit of himself in Daniel Bryan. Edge says that he knows Bryan loves wrestling and that the people chose Daniel Bryan so he needs to beat Randy Orton. Edge tells Bryan that he doesn’t know if he can beat Orton, but he deserves a fair shot. Edge asks Bryan if he thinks he can beat Randy Orton, shove it in the man’s face and become the WWE Champion. Bryan screams “YES!” but is cut off by Randy Orton.

Randy Orton tells Edge that it’s a shame that every time he comes back, the only people who give a crap is Canada. Orton says it’s also a shame that Edge’s body failed him at such a young age. Edge says it’s a shame that Orton’s supposed to be the face of the WWE, but he acts like an entirely different body part. Edge tells Orton that he may have problems with his spine, but at least he has one.

Edge tells Randy Orton that he’s become Triple H’s puppet. Edge thinks Triple H has a great mind, but when it comes to picking talent, he flat out sucks.

Before Edge can continue, Triple H comes out to the King Of Kings music. Triple H that since Edge has something to say, he’d like him to say it to his face. Edge agrees since he doesn’t have to bite his tongue like the rest of the roster because he doesn’t work here. Edge thinks Triple H doesn’t know a damn about picking talent because he didn’t think Edge, Chris Jericho or John Cena could make it. Edge calls Triple H out on saying Daniel Bryan can’t make it. Edge tells Triple H that he knows his nose is huge, but he has to learn to look past it.

Triple H welcomes Edge to RAW and says it’s great to see him because it’s “Best For Business.” Triple H says that he had Edge on to promote Haven then promotes Haven (Friday Nights on SyFy at 10PM EST right after Friday Night Smackdown)

Triple H says that he may have gotten a few wrong about talent over the years, but he’s right about a lot too. Triple H admits to being wrong about Chris Jericho and John Cena, and thinks time will tell if Daniel Bryan proves him wrong. Triple H says that he was right about one person being a failure and that person is Edge.

Triple H says we can come out here and pretend that Edge is a big star and a legend because they’re in Canada, but claims that the “Rated R Superstar” Experiment was a failure. Triple H says Edge never drew a dime. Triple H claims that usually when he says that, the person gets the opportunity to prove them wrong, like Chris Jericho and John Cena did. Triple H says that Daniel Bryan will get the opportunity to prove him wrong tonight in a match against Dean Ambrose. Triple H says The Shield will be in Ambrose’s corner, and The Big Show will be in Daniel Bryan’s corner since Edge’s ability to fight like a man has long passed.

Triple H claims that contrary to popular belief, he is not a dictator. After being cut off by an asshole chant, Edge says that he didn’t have to marry into success because he earned his Hall Of Fame ring. Edge tells Triple H that he’s not a dictator, he’s just a dick.

Triple H says it’s easy for Edge to talk since he can’t fight and has a “stack of dimes” for a neck, but since he can’t hurt Edge, he can hurt the ones he loves. The Shield bring out a beaten Christian.

Edge runs to the ramp and tends to a fallen Christian. Edge demands that the referees get some help.

Backstage: Edge storms backstage and interrupts Triple H and Stephanie McMahon, but The Shield stop him. Edge says he wishes his doctors would clear him because he’d come for him. Triple H says he knows the doctors won’t clear him and tells Edge who the hell he thinks he is on his show and his town running his mouth like that? Triple H tells Edge to get out of his town, his city, his building, and off his show. Triple H offers for The Shield to escort him out, but Edge walks out on his own.

Match 01: Kofi Kingston vs. Curtis Axel

Curtis Axel refuses to stop kicking Kofi Kingston in the corner. Curtis Axel gets disqualified.

Winner: Kofi Kingston via DQ

Paul Heyman tells Curtis Axel how important it is to NOT get disqualified this Sunday at Night Of Champions. Curtis Axel understands the message, but Kofi Kingston attacks him. Kofi Kingston hits Curtis Axel with the Trouble In Paradise.

Backstage: Paul Heyman is seen on the floor as the referee and Curtis Axel try and lift him up. Apparently, Paul Heyman slipped and injured his knee on water. The doctors want him to get checked on.

Backstage: Big Show is sitting down upset until he’s approached by Booker T. Booker T walks up and asks to talk to him. Booker T says that last week was one of the worst weeks of Show’s life and tonight he’s probably going to want to take it out on someone. Booker T admits that despite not always seeing eye to eye with Big Show, he’s also respected him and watched his career from the beginning. Booker T reminds Big Show that Cody Rhodes got fired and says that people are calling Show a sellout.

Booker T says that the people aren’t in his shoes and that Big Show is a professional. Booker T claims he would’ve done the exact same thing last week. Booker T tells Big Show that tonight, the people are going to want him to be a hero. Booker T tells Big Show to think about his daughter and family before he does anything stupid. Booker T tells Big Show to not let his pride make a mistake that he can’t take back. Big Show says pride is all he has left, thanks Booker T then walks off.

Match 02: Dolph Ziggler vs. Bray Wyatt

Dolph Ziggler puts up a valiant effort, but gets hit with Sister Abigail.

Winner: Bray Wyatt

Paul Heyman brings his Doctor out to ringside.

Paul Heyman says that he doesn’t trust the Canadian Health Care system, so thanks to Curtis Axel, he is able to bring his personal doctor on the road with him. Heyman introduces Dr. Michael Kirshenbaum from New York City.

Paul Heyman claims Dr. Kirshenbaum has confirmed his fear and that Heyman tore his meniscus and his ACL and would require an MRI. Heyman regretfully withdraws himself from competition, and apologizes about not being able to be at Night Of Champions. Paul Heyman says he is going to return to NYC to receive the proper medical care, and like Edge said in the past, he will be back. Brad Maddox comes out with Doctor Michael Sampson and tells Heyman that WWE has licensed doctors and training who are qualified to give him a medical evaluation.

Brad Maddox says if Paul Heyman is truly injured, the only way he can be officially removed from the match is to be evaluated by Doctor Sampson. Sampson wants Paul Heyman to sit down on a chair. A “Sit” chant breaks out.

Doctor Sampson tells Paul Heyman to roll his pant leg up then examines his knee as a “This Is Awkward” chant breaks out.

Doctor Sampson reveals that Paul Heyman is fine and good to go for Night Of Champions.

Paul Heyman tries to play off the injury, claiming that Doctor Sampson has a personal issue with him. As Heyman yells at Doctor Sampson, CM Punk’s music plays!

CM Punk chases Paul Heyman out of the ring with a kendo stick then takes out Curtis Axel. CM Punk turns his attention to Doctor Kirshenbaum as a “Hit The Doctor” chant breaks out.

CM Punk teases letting the doctor go, but starts whipping him with the Kendo Stick instead.

Match 03: Naomi, Natalya and Brie Bella vs. Alicia Fox, Aksana and Layla

AJ Lee comes out to be on commentary.

AJ Lee talks about how she has the date she won the title tattooed on the back of her neck. Lawler asks if she has any other tattoos and AJ says she’s a little too old for him because she’s 26 years old and she knows he likes them young. Lawler says that AJ is a little too ugly for her too.

AJ clears up that she’s not jealous of the girls on Total Divas and that her #Pipebombshell wasn’t for attention or to piss anybody off. It was a call to arms to make the girls to get better. AJ wants them to step it up or else they don’t deserve a title shot.

Natalya locks Alicia Fox in the Sharpshooter.

Winner: Natalya

Post-Match, AJ has a staredown with the Divas.

Backstage: Rob Van Dam says that on Sunday, a new Champion will be crowned. And his name isn’t ADR, it’s RVD.

Match 04: R-Truth vs. Alberto Del Rio

The crowd turns on the match and starts chanting for JBL, Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler.

The crowd starts doing the wave.

The crowd starts chanting for The Undertaker!

Alberto Del Rio kicks R-Truth in the head.

Winner: Alberto Del Rio

Match 05: Antonio Cesaro vs. ???

Zeb Colter speaks about Canada calling it neighbor in name only. Colter claims that Canada doesn’t help out America. Colter calls Canadians America’s maple syrup chugging, moose hunting, boring cousins. Colter says it’s not too late for Canada and all they need to do is put their hand over their heart, speak in a loud clear voice and say “We The People!”

Zeb Colter is cut off by Santino Marella’s theme music!

A loud Maple Syrup chant breaks out.

Antonio Cesaro locks Santino Marella in the Giant Swing.

The longer Antonio Cesaro swings Santino Marella around, the quicker the crowd stops chanting Maple Syrup.

Antonio Cesaro almost wins the match, but gets taken down by a Judo Throw Over.

Winner: Santino Marella?!

Match 06: Damien Sandow vs. The Miz

Damien Sandow teases cashing in the Money In The Bank Briefcase, but says until he does that, he remains the uncrowned world Champion. Before he can finish, he’s cut off by The Miz’s music.

Fandango’s music plays.

Fandango dances while The Miz looks confused.

Damien Sandow rolls up The Miz.

Winner: Damien Sandow

Post-Match, Fandango says his name.

Backstage: Renee Young introduces Goldust.

Renee Young asks Goldust if he’s mentally prepared for his match tonight against Randy Orton. Goldust says that he is and that there’s no secret that he’s been the screwup of the family. Goldust tells Renee that while he’s messed up all of his chances in the WWE, Cody Rhodes has always lived the right way.

Goldust says that this is all because Triple H wants to embarrass the Rhodes Family name. Goldust says tonight Cody Rhodes has a second chance and that Randy Orton will never forget the name of-Triple H cuts him off.

Triple H asks Goldust how he’s doing and it’s been a long time since he’s been in the WWE. Triple H tries to get into Goldust’s head by talking about how if Goldust loses tonight, Cody Rhodes doesn’t get his job back. Triple H tells Goldust that he has the weight of the world on his shoulders then wishes him good luck. Triple H says he hopes Goldust doesn’t let them down.

Match 07: Goldust vs. Randy Orton

Goldust gets a “You Still Got It” chant:

Goldust hits the Cross Rhodes on Randy Orton!

But Randy Orton kicks out at 2!

Randy Orton hits the RKO.

Winner: Randy Orton

Post-Match, Randy Orton takes the mic, stands over Goldust and says “Looks like your dream of saving your baby brother’s career has been shattered, just like Daniel Bryan’s dream of taking the WWE Championship will be shattered at Night Of Champions.”

Backstage: Goldust walks backstage defeated.

Stephanie McMahon walks up to Goldust.

Stephanie McMahon tells Goldust that he must be disappointed and that Cody Rhodes and his wife must be disappointed because Cody doesn’t have a job anymore. Stephanie says that the reason Cody doesn’t have a job anymore is all because of him. Stephanie tells Goldust that he let his whole family and the WWE Universe down then asks him how it feels to be a loser, just like his brother. Stephanie McMahon tells Goldust to go join Cody Rhodes in the unemployment line. As Goldust is about to leave, Stephanie tells him to tell his Dad she said Hi.

Match 08: Rob Van Dam vs. Ryback RicRod introduces Rob Van Dam.

Alberto Del Rio comes out on stage and calls Rob Van Dam a “washed up loser” and RicRod a “peasant.” Del Rio claims that without him, RicRod is nothing. Del Rio says that the two of them belong together, just like he belongs with the World Heavyweight Championship. Del Rio says after Night Of Champions, the WWE Universe won’t be chanting RVD. They’ll be chanting ADR.

Rob Van Dam tries to dive on Ryback, but Ryback moves and RVD collides with the barricade. Ryback throws Rob Van Dam on the ringpost crotch first.

Winner: Rob Van Dam (Via DQ)

Post-match, Ryback hits The Shell Shock on Rob Van Dam.

Backstage: Big Show is on his way to the ring until he is stopped by Stephanie McMahon. Stephanie McMahon informs Big Show that he is not allowed to put a finger on The Shield tonight and that he has a special seat at ringside. Stephanie tells Big Show that if he touches The Shield, he’ll be terminated.

Stephanie McMahon tells Big Show this is what’s Best For Business, then walks off. Big Show gets angry then destroys a TV.

Match 09: Daniel Bryan vs. Dean Ambrose (Big Show sits at ringside)

Big Show tries to cheer Daniel Bryan on.

Roman Reigns goes for the spear but hits the ring steps. Seth Rollins dives at Daniel Bryan but hits the table.

Daniel Bryan hits Dean Ambrose with the small package.

Winner: Daniel Bryan

Post-Match, Dean Ambrose tries to attack Daniel Bryan but gets knocked over the top rope on top of Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns.

Randy Orton runs down to the ring, but Daniel Bryan takes him down with a suicide dive.

Daniel Bryan gets the upperhand until The Shield attacks Daniel Bryan. Big Show almost interferes, but he stops himself.

Randy Orton hits the RKO on Daniel Bryan.

Triple H comes out and demands that Big Show pick up Daniel Bryan and knock him out. Big Show reluctantly walks back to the ring and almost does it, but stops himself.

Randy Orton yells at Big Show demanding that Big Show listen to him since he is the WWE Champion. Orton orders Big Show to knock out Daniel Bryan.

Randy Orton turns around and gets a knee to the face from Daniel Bryan!

Daniel Bryan holds the WWE Championship and screams “YES!” along with the WWE Universe.

So That Happened:

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