RAW begins with The Shield standing in front of the ring.
And so, we open #RAW with the Shield just hanging out, doing what they do, which is stop the ring from leaving.
— Death Rey Mysterio (@Heinekenrana) August 27, 2013
Is The Shield Security System like the APA?
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) August 27, 2013
The Shield Security System Should Think About Expansion, There’s Only 3 of Them!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 27, 2013
Triple H comes out to his King Of Kings music.
Triple H Uses “Kings of Kings” Because He Just Started Watching Game of Thrones. Next, He’ll Have a Custom Throne Made of Sledgehammers
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 27, 2013
Phoenix, if you are cheering for Triple H, I hope Randy Orton RKOs your grandmothers. #RAW
— Death Rey Mysterio (@Heinekenrana) August 27, 2013
Triple H reminds us of what happened to Daniel Bryan at Summerslam, calling it the dawning of a new era. After replaying the footage of Daniel Bryan getting screwed, Triple H says that was best for business and there was nothing personal about the attack. Triple H shows the footage of Daniel Bryan’s attack from last week’s RAW and admits that his attack was personal.
Triple H is my grandfather. “Let me tell you a story! Picture it! SummerSlam, two weeks ago!” #RAW
— Death Rey Mysterio (@Heinekenrana) August 27, 2013
Triple Has Been the COO for like a Year Now? Does He Still Not Get That Delivering Pedigrees is NOT Business?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 27, 2013
Triple H says the reason he embarrassed and humiliated Daniel Bryan was because of Bryan’s actions. Triple H says every action has a consequence and Bryan made it personal by insulting his wife, his family and him. Triple H claims he’s willing to be the bigger man and move on and wants to be a business man with Daniel Bryan and the choice is Bryan’s.
Triple H… You screwed over him the night before Bryan even said a word to Stephanie. How does that make sense?
— Not Regal (@RegalSays) August 27, 2013
Triple H segways from business to ratings claiming that they went through the roof and that business is booming because of the new face of the WWE, Randy Orton. Triple H asks the WWE Universe to show respect as he brings out their champion and future, Randy Orton.
Triple H is Talking about the Ratings?!? He Can Do That Now?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 27, 2013
So are tattoos corporate now? Has anyone informed Shannon Moore?
— Diego Violence (@Miss_Dani_Baby) August 27, 2013
This just in: In an attempt to remain timely, Triple H has cast himself as Batman and Bray Wyatt will be twerking on AJ Lee later. #RAW
— Death Rey Mysterio (@Heinekenrana) August 27, 2013
Triple H congratulates Randy Orton for breathing new life into the WWE and the WWE Championship. Triple H says as COO, he likes to award people who excel and are not afraid to grab the brass ring and run with it. Triple H tells Randy Orton that he got him a gift and paid for it out of his own pocket.
Awww Triple H got Randy a gift. Please God let it be a well-fitted suit jacket. #RAW
— Death Rey Mysterio (@Heinekenrana) August 27, 2013
The Last Time Randy Orton Tried to Run with the Brass Ring, Triple H Took It From Him and Beat Him With It.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 27, 2013
Triple H tells Randy Orton he wants to show how much Orton means to him and brings out Orton’s gift: A brand new Cadillac Escalade.
The Cadillac gets entrance music!
— Diego Violence (@Miss_Dani_Baby) August 27, 2013
Randy Orton gets a new car? Somebody bring Kofi Kingston out to destroy it!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 27, 2013
When did Raw turn into My Super Sweet 16? #raw
— Kara (@karaadora) August 27, 2013
If Kofi Kingston comes out with a bucket of paint I’ll pop.
— Not Regal (@RegalSays) August 27, 2013
Daniel Bryan will counter this treachery by driving out on horseback.
— Tom (@TomQWood) August 27, 2013
Randy Orton thanks Triple H for the Escalade and for having the vision and business acumen of realizing that Orton is the only man worthy of being WWE Champion and Face Of The Company. Triple H tells Randy Orton to test out the car, but they’re interrupted by Daniel Bryan’s music. Daniel Bryan comes out and starts a “YES!” chant on the ramp.
Randy Orton is Like “Aw Man, Can’t a Guy Get a New Car on Live TV Without Someone Ruining It?”
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 27, 2013
Nikki Bella is not going to approve the destruction of this Escalade. #BellaDecisions
— Angélica Stark (@angie_chipz) August 27, 2013
Daniel Bryan is Going to Unleash Vegan Rage on Randy Orton’s New Gas Guzzler!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 27, 2013
Daniel Bryan “compliments” Randy Orton’s “sweet ride” and says it’s way nicer than his Honda Fit. Bryan d says since Orton is making Thank Yous, he’s has a few Thank Yous of his own that he would like to make. First, Daniel Bryan thanks each and every person in Phoenix and the WWE Universe because he’s not the biggest, the strongest or the prettiest, then mentions that “Twinkle Toes Orton” is the prettiest. Bryan says despite not being any of those things, the people have believed and supported him and we have no idea how much that means to him.
No. Thank YOU, Daniel Bryan.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 27, 2013
“I’m Not the Prettiest, I’m Not the Tallest …” But You Are the BEST, Daniel Bryan #RAW
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 27, 2013
Next, Daniel Bryan thanks John Cena for allowing him the opportunity to be in the Main Event at Summerslam because a guy like Triple H would have never given that opportunity.
John Cena’s not even here and he gets booed out of the building.
— SXM Busted Open (@BustedOpenRadio) August 27, 2013
Daniel Bryan thanks Triple H for ending his charade and finally showing his true colors at Summerslam. Bryan thanks Triple H for proving that his view of what’s “best for business” is just as narrow-minded and misguided as Mr. McMahon’s. Bryan mocks Triple H for going from a rebel in the leather jack to a sellout in a suit. Randy Orton defends Triple H and demands that “Dan” show respect to the COO and Face of the WWE.
“Dan,” Randy Orton? How Disrespectful. First of All, It’s Daniel. Secondly, Put on Pants!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 27, 2013
Daniel Bryan mocks Randy Orton’s role as the Face Of The WWE then tells Orton that at Night Of Champions, not only will Orton’s face be re-arranged, but Triple H’s vision of the future will be re-arranged as well because Bryan will become the new “WWE Champion.” After a “YES!” chant, Triple H calls Bryan’s “fantasy” adorable then calls him Jiminy Cricket. And if that wasn’t enough, Triple H starts by singing “When You Wish Upon A Star” to Bryan.
I suddenly feel very sorry for Triple H’s daughters if that’s how he sings them to sleep. #raw
— Kara (@karaadora) August 27, 2013
Stone Cold’s singing voice > Triple H’s singing voice. #RAW
— Stacey (@LittleSherbie) August 27, 2013
I wonder how much money Triple H is going have to pay Disney for that copyright infringement?
— SXM Busted Open (@BustedOpenRadio) August 27, 2013
Triple H tells Daniel Bryan that in the real world, it makes a difference who you are. Triple H says Daniel Bryan is not an A Player and that Randy Orton is an A player. Triple H calls Daniel Bryan a B then gives him an opportunity to prove himself to the world. Triple H puts Daniel Bryan in a gauntlet match against Seth Rollins, Dean Ambrose and then “The Gift Of Roman Reigns.”
LMAO THE GIFT OF ROMAN REIGNS
— Natasha Gill (@HEELcanadian) August 27, 2013
lmfao I want the gift of Roman Reigns.
— Angélica Stark (@angie_chipz) August 27, 2013
Daniel Bryan gauntlet match vs the Shield? Take THAT, American Gladiators! #RAW
— Death Rey Mysterio (@Heinekenrana) August 27, 2013
Gauntlet Match! I Love Gauntlet Matches! Especially Ones Where R-Truth is Not Involved!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 27, 2013
Triple H tells Daniel Bryan that he’s going to give Bryan the gift of The Shield in a Gauntlet Match because he believes in Daniel Bryan and he believes that this is what is best for business.
Triple H: I believe in you, Daniel. And I BELIEVE- Roman Reigns: IN THE SHIELD!!!!!! ….Sorry. Force of habit.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 27, 2013
Triple H is the Worst Oprah. He Brought Out ONE Car…
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 27, 2013
Match 01: Cody Rhodes vs. Fandango (With Damien Sandow on commentary)
Cody Rhodes Shaved Off His Mustache As a Parting Gift for Ted Dibiase. Legacy Forever!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 27, 2013
I just noticed that Fandango has no hometown he’s not announced as being from. Random thought.
— Not Regal (@RegalSays) August 27, 2013
The Miz comes out with Rosa Mendes dressed as Fandango.
Ay Yi Yi! Dos Fandangos?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 27, 2013
What…….the……..hell…….
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) August 27, 2013
*WALKS INTO OCEAN* #RAW
— Death Rey Mysterio (@Heinekenrana) August 27, 2013
The Miz and Rosa Mendes do their rendition of Fandango and Summer Rae’s dance.
LMAO Thats the best thing The Miz has ever done. #RAW HES GOT THE SKITTLE PANTS ON!
— The Mer™ (@mare_bare) August 27, 2013
This would have been 5,000% better if Miz had come out with Eva Marie.
— Rybitch Rules (@clparty) August 27, 2013
That seamstress from Total Divas ain’t fooling anyone. We know Fandango’s pants are formally John Morrison’s with glitter on them.
— Not Regal (@RegalSays) August 27, 2013
Damien Sandow interferes and attacks Cody Rhodes.
Winner: Cody Rhodes (Via DQ)
Was it just me or did Miz’s dancing remind everyone of when Toad met Storm in the first X-Men movie? #RAW
— Death Rey Mysterio (@Heinekenrana) August 27, 2013
Post-Match, Brad Maddox makes a tag team match between Cody Rhodes and The Miz vs. Fandango and Damien Sandow.
Good thing Damien Sandow was dressed to compete. Otherwise this would’ve been very awkward for him.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 27, 2013
Match 02: Cody Rhodes and The Miz vs. Damien Sandow and Fandango
Fandango and Miz sharing tights is disturbing
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) August 27, 2013
The Miz looks like he’s wearing his custom made Marty Jannetty Halloween costume.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 27, 2013
Fandango walks out of the match as Cody Rhodes trips Damien Sandow. The Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale for the win.
Winners: The Miz and Cody Rhodes
I just wanted to see Cody Rhodes wrestle, man.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) August 27, 2013
Post-Match, Fandango grabs the mic and says the correct spelling of his name..
Fandango! NO ONE sets you up to say your name. Stop saying it…
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 27, 2013
Rosa dancing to Fandango’s music, what a moron.
— Rybitch Rules (@clparty) August 27, 2013
Backstage: Josh Mathews asks Christian about the direction Triple H is taking the WWE. Christian says it’s a difficult question to answer because the minute anyone says anything bad about the new regime, they suffer the consequences. Christian says that he lived through the Attitude Era and the McMahon-Helmsley Regime and that those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it. Christian continues to speak, Randy Orton walks up.
Christian Remembers the McMahon / Helmsley Era? I Think He’s the Only One Left.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 27, 2013
Randy Orton asks Christian if he has a problem with the way things are around here. Orton thinks Christian has a problem because at Summerslam, Orton was a winner and Christian was a loser. Orton says tonight history will repeat itself because tonight, Orton will win by hitting Christian with an RKO. Christian says that it’s funny because Triple H likes to play with sledgehammers, but apparently he found himself a new tool. Orton tells Christian that he’ll see him out there tonight.
Christian with the sick burn on Orton. Randy’s reply is probably a RKO.
— Tom (@TomQWood) August 27, 2013
Backstage: Renee Young asks CM Punk which stipulation he wants. CM Punk says he’s not going to try and sway the WWE Universe, but he knows what he wants. He wants to get his hands on Paul Heyman. Also backstage Paul Heyman complains that the WWE is going to subject his health to the WWE Universe. Curtis Axel claims he’s “got this.” and asks if Heyman believes in him. Heyman reluctantly tells Axel he believes in him like his life depends on it.
Curtis, no one believes that you “got this”. I mean, come on.
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) August 27, 2013
*referring to CM Punk* “He’s going to have to out wrestle me, He can’t out wrestle me.”- Curt Axel doing stand up.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) August 27, 2013
Match 03: CM Punk vs. Curtis Axel
Well, here comes the best in the world…..and……ITS CLOBBERING TIME!
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) August 27, 2013
The WWE Universe chooses the stipulation for the match. Option A. Paul Heyman is banned from ringside. Option B. Heyman as Special Guest Referee. Or Option C. CM Punk gets Paul Heyman after the match. Option C wins!
Holy obvious voting, Batman!….not you Ben, sit down
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) August 27, 2013
CM Punk tries to go after Paul Heyman, but Curtis Axel attacks him from behind.
CM Punk’s ADD really gets the best of him at the worst times.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 27, 2013
If Curtis Axel Gets Counted Out, Wouldn’t CM Punk Get to Face Paul Heyman?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 27, 2013
Winner: CM Punk
Just Like That!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 27, 2013
Oh, Curtis Axel. A rose by any other name is still Michael McGillicutty.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 27, 2013
For Punk it’s clobbering time. For Heyman this angle is just another Monday.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 27, 2013
Paul Heyman tries to run away, but security grabs him and brings him back to the ring. Heyman screams that this was all Brock Lesnar’s idea, but Punk won’t listen.
CM Punk, Whup Paul Heyman Like He Owes You Money! (He Probably Owes You Money, Anyhow)
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 27, 2013
CM Punk is about to attack Paul Heyman, but Curtis Axel hits CM Punk with a low blow.
RIGHT IN THE MCGILLICUTTIES
— Tom (@TomQWood) August 27, 2013
STUPID CURTIS AXEL RUINING A GREAT MOMENT
— b. (@yeahnoe) August 27, 2013
Even Michael Cole forgot about Curtis Axel. #raw
— Kara (@karaadora) August 27, 2013
Paul Heyman pulls out handcuffs and he and Curtis Axel handcuff CM Punk.
Who the actual damn carries around handcuffs like that? #RAW
— Death Rey Mysterio (@Heinekenrana) August 27, 2013
Curtis Axel is Breaking Out the Handcuffs Just Like His Dad! Everyone Else Remembers Fall Brawl: The 4 Horsemen vs the nWo, Right?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 27, 2013
(other than cops)
— Death Rey Mysterio (@Heinekenrana) August 27, 2013
Handcuffs and slapping, I’m having flashbacks of Vegas.
— Rybitch Rules (@clparty) August 27, 2013
Paul Heyman slaps CM Punk in the face several times screaming that he’s going to hurt CM Punk. Heyman taunts CM Punk telling him to fight back.
Paul Heyman with those BDSM slaps.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) August 27, 2013
When the fangirls envisioned CM Punk in handcuffs, this is not what they pictured.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 27, 2013
CM Punk ends up fighting back by kicking Curtis Axel in the head, then tripping Paul Heyman.
CM Punk Can Still Kick Though.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 27, 2013
CM Punk almost attacks Paul Heyman, but Curtis Axel hits Punk in the back with a chair then beats him up further. Curtis Axel goes out of the ring and gets a Kendo Stick. Axel taunts Punk with the Kendo Stick, then hands the stick over to Paul Heyman.
Shades of ECW!
— Finn, The Human (@RitaHepburn) August 27, 2013
After Paul Heyman Swings That Singapore Cane, He’s Going to Show Everyone the Beer Can Trick He Taught The Sandman in the 90’s.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 27, 2013
CM Punk tells Paul Heyman to “Make It Count” then Paul Heyman starts beating CM Punk with the Kendo Stick! Curtis Axel holds CM Punk back as Paul Heyman continues beating CM Punk with the Kendo Stick while screaming about how much he loved CM Punk and how much gave everything for him.
“I NURSED YOU WHEN YOU WERE WEAK! I MANA-BIRDED YOU THAT COOKIE!” -Heyman to Punk.
— Tom (@TomQWood) August 27, 2013
Punk, Say the safe word already, jeeze.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) August 27, 2013
Where is Kofi?!
— Not Regal (@RegalSays) August 27, 2013
Kofi! Go save your friend! You went to Walter’s house today! You’re a bad friend, Kofi #raw
— Dr.Jankinstein Ph.D (@Jayfuz) August 27, 2013
Curtis Axel screams at CM Punk some gibberish about being the Intercontinental Champion and how Punk needs to learn his lesson.
Curtis Axel is the New Girlfriend in this Heyman / Punk Relationship. He’s Trying to Be Supportive.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 27, 2013
Curtis forgot how to speak in full sentences there for a second
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) August 27, 2013
URURURURCONTINENTAL CHERNPYUN PERL HERMEN URURURURYR – Curtis Axel 2013 #Raw
— Dr.Jankinstein Ph.D (@Jayfuz) August 27, 2013
Paul Heyman continues to beat CM Punk on the outside with the Kendo Stick.
Wow! That was brutal…I wonder if The Sandman gave Paul Heyman caning lessons.
— SXM Busted Open (@BustedOpenRadio) August 27, 2013
I think Paul Heyman just beat out AJ Lee in the crazy ex-girlfriend department.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 27, 2013
@KeepItFiveStar Thankfully she still wins in the half-shirt department.
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) August 27, 2013
Paul Heyman screams in CM Punk’s that he gave Punk his heart and that he loved him.
This has just got weird. Even for me. #raw
— Kara (@karaadora) August 27, 2013
Did Punk have some Lana Del Rey daddy issues or what?
— Powerline (@Osito1034) August 27, 2013
Paul Heyman starts to cry then walks off with Curtis Axel as WWE’s Medical Staff tends to CM Punk.
Hey, Taylor Swift. This ‘Love Story’ you cant write a song about.
— Not Regal (@RegalSays) August 27, 2013
Match 04: Brie Bella vs. Natalya
JoJo is the Special Guest Ring Announcer:
JoJo has the “Insert Diva Here” Role in the WWE. Ring Announcer? Sure! Anthem Singer? Why Not? Wrestler? NEVER!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 27, 2013
I love Brie Bella but I hate that gear. #raw
— Victoria (@prettyheartless) August 27, 2013
Apparently the Bellas and Eva Marie have a thing for polka dots. They were all big fans of Dusty Rhodes
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) August 27, 2013
Why is Nikki Bella dressed like a cow? No. That’s not a fat joke. She’s actually dressed like a cow.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 27, 2013
eva marie looks like she is concentrating really hard on walking #RAW
— The Mer™ (@mare_bare) August 27, 2013
What the FUNK are they Wearing? That’s Not a Sandra Original!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 27, 2013
Winner: Brie Bella
Post-Match, AJ Lee’s theme music plays.
AJ Lee’s Here! She Represents The A Show: That’s #RAW. They Represent the E! Show: That’s #TotalDivas
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 27, 2013
Just out of curiosity what does AJ want to light up? #Raw
— Dr.Jankinstein Ph.D (@Jayfuz) August 27, 2013
AJ Lee mocks Total Divas by going over last night’s episode making fun of The Bellas Daddy Issues, Cam’ron and Naomi’s break up, Tyson Kidd and the lack of JoJo and Eva Marie.
AJ pitching Total Divas there… Best pitch ever.
— Not Regal (@RegalSays) August 27, 2013
On Behalf at @3ManBooth, We Would Like to Formally Ask AJ Lee to Recap #TotalDivas For Us Each Week. Thanks!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 27, 2013
After a few jokes on Total Divas, AJ drops a “Pipebombshell.”
YO! AJ Lee promo right NOW >>>>>>>>>>>
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) August 27, 2013
THATS RIGHT AJ YOU TELL THEM!!! (CEPT NATTIE) *standing and applauding* #pipebomb #RAW
— The Mer™ (@mare_bare) August 27, 2013
AJ Lee with the Pipe Bomb of the Year: “You Can Even Lace Up My Chuck Taylors!”
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 27, 2013
Bless AJ, bless you so much #RAW
— Katie Rose (@_katierose13) August 27, 2013
AJ! AJ! AJ! AJ! AJ! #RAW #DroppinBombs
— thechrishaley (@thechrishaley) August 27, 2013
this promo was more entertaining that the entire season of Total Divas
— Angélica Stark (@angie_chipz) August 27, 2013
Yup. That’s how it’s done.
— CM Punk (@CMPunk) August 27, 2013
The Bellas Respond by yelling, screaming and mocking AJ Lee’s Skipping:
And why are the Bellas and Eva acting like idiots?.
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) August 27, 2013
Really, Bellas and Red Headed Bella? That’s Your Comeback? Skipping?!? SKIPPING IS FOR WINNERS!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 27, 2013
AJ Lee really burned the Divas with that promo. It burned JoJo so much that she went backstage and started applying headlocks on everybody
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 27, 2013
#pipebombshell
— CM Punk (@CMPunk) August 27, 2013
Match 05: Alberto Del Rio vs. Rob Van Dam
They couldn’t get Ricardo a shirt?
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) August 27, 2013
The Bond Between RicRod and RVD is Set! Van Dam Introduced Him to His Air-brusher. That’s Next Level Friendship.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 27, 2013
Now that RicRod took off his jacket, he looks like every fan at an indy show.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 27, 2013
Look at How Much More Comfortable Ricardo Rodriguez Looks. Leave the Suit and Tie for Justin Timberlake!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 27, 2013
Too many acronyms here. ADR vs RVD w/ RR
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 27, 2013
RicRod gets on the table and starts chanting RVD distracting Alberto Del Rio.
First the “si! si! si!” thing, now pointing to himself and saying “ADR”, hes taking the stealing taunt thing a bit too far
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) August 27, 2013
RVD takes advantage and rolls up Del Rio.
Winner: Rob Van Dam
Really Alberto Del Rio? The Leg Scissor Roll-up? NO ONE LOSES TO THAT!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 27, 2013
I don’t hate RicRod now, I’m just going to feel a little less sorry for him when ADR beats him down next time. #WWE #Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) August 27, 2013
Is It Wrong That I Want RicRod to Turn on RVD? It’s Just Like Heyman / Punk but with a Bucket Instead of a Singapore Cane.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 27, 2013
Backstage: Josh Mathews interviews Ryback and calls him out on bullying everyone. Ryback laughs it off, then grabs Josh Mathews by the cheeks and brings him to his knees. Ryback says he finally found a way to shut Mathews up, pushes him down then walks off.
Ryback is a better twerker. “@prettyheartless: I don’t know who makes me more uncomfortable, Ryback or Miley. #raw”
— Tom (@TomQWood) August 27, 2013
Backstage: Renee Young catches up with Paul Heyman and Curtis Axel. Young says that Heyman looked shell shocked at what happened out there, then asks if he was afraid of what was going to happen next. Curtis Axel says what happened next is something that CM Punk will never forget.
Poor Renee Young. Always gets the job of interviewing Paul Heyman after a tense moment.
— SXM Busted Open (@BustedOpenRadio) August 27, 2013
Paul Heyman says that CM Punk is like a petulant child that needs to keep getting punished. Heyman tells Renee Young that he feels like a man who put his Prodigal Son in face. Heyman says CM Punk was beat by his own Father Figure and now, he will learn that Paul Heyman is the last person that he will ever come up against.
Paul Heyman Must Cut Some Epic Promos on His Kids When They Misbehave.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 27, 2013
Paul Heyman and Curtis Axel close their car doors then drive off.
Tandem Door Slam!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 27, 2013
Match 06: Randy Orton vs. Christian
Is The Voice Randy Orton Hears Right Now Triple H’s?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 27, 2013
Is Orton walking slower now? #RAW
— Lucifer Vandross (@WellYoureWrong) August 27, 2013
The Orton Pose! Heel Randy is back
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 27, 2013
Randy Orton pushes Christian and he has a dangerous fall.
What The Hell Did You Do To Christian, Randy Orton?!?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 27, 2013
You know what will help Christian? Stop thug clapping and more 5 second poses
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) August 27, 2013
Christian and Randy Orton Bring Out the Best In Each Other… As Long As Christian Doesn’t Dive at Orton Headfirst
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 27, 2013
Christian hits the spear on Randy Orton, but only gets a two count.
So close, Christian!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 27, 2013
Christian and Randy Orton go through a series of reversals.
RKO FROM INTO AN UNPRETTIER INTO A REF BUMP INTO A THUMB TO THE EYE
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 27, 2013
Randy Orton hits the RKO on Christian. Winner: Randy Orton Post-Match, Daniel Bryan appears on the Titantron and congratulates Randy Orton his win and his A+ Performance. Bryan says the more he thinks about it, the more he realizes Randy Orton is the “Face Of The WWE.” Bryan compliments Orton’s pretty car, saying it’s a pretty car for a pretty man.
Oh hey, Randy’s new vehicle is behind him. Wonder what could happen here. #WWE #Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) August 27, 2013
Daniel Bryan hypothetically asks what if he beats Randy Orton at Night Of Champions, will it make him the new face of the WWE. Daniel Bryan reveals Randy Orton’s car which has the word “YES!” spraypainted all over.
Daniel Bryan used what was left over of Kofi Kingston’s orange paint.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 27, 2013
Daniel Bryan is Shooting the Pilot For His New WWE Network Show, “YES! Your Ride!”
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 27, 2013
Daniel Bryan breaks out into a “YES!” chant as he shows off the “YES!” spraypaint.
Well if he’s just gonna keep leaving his cars around… #RAW
— Kofi Kingston (@TrueKofi) August 27, 2013
Backstage: Brad Maddox apologizes to Randy Orton and Triple H about the car incident. Triple H says that he considers his car and the WWE Championship his personal property that Randy Orton just carries it for him.
So….according to Triple H, Randy Orton isn’t champion, he is.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 27, 2013
Triple H demands that Brad Maddox brings out the entire locker room to watch Daniel Bryan get what he deserves tonight by The Shield. Triple H says if anyone gets involved and thinks about interfering, crossing that line or looking sideways at him, will be fired immediately and he’s gonna laugh while doing it.
I want Kofi to help Daniel Bryan SO bad, I will POP.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) August 27, 2013
Randy Orton promises that Daniel Bryan is gonna pay.
Randy Orton’s Had 2 Cars and a Tour Bus Messed Up. Maybe He Should Try Carpooling
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 27, 2013
Hey Orton it could be worse. It could have been crushed, it could have been covered in cement, it could have been blown up.’
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 27, 2013
Match 07: Titus O’Neil vs. Jack Swagger
Zeb Colter comes out and says last week, The Real Americans had their victories stolen from The Prime Time Players. Zeb Colter says the definition of a Prime Time Player is a bunch of people who embarrass themselves on a nightly basis by running around like buffoons and barking like dogs.
Careful, Zeb …
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 27, 2013
Zeb Colter says that it’s time that The Real Americans drew a line in the sand. Colter segways into people who stand in Welfare lines then says, “If You Can’t Feed ‘Em. Don’t Breed Em.” Colter says if Mrs. O’Neil and Mrs. Young figured that out years ago, we wouldn’t have such an unworthy team. Colter says that’s The Prime Time Players are what’s wrong with America then says “We The People.”
Titus with the Sky High! Where is D’Lo when you need him?
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) August 27, 2013
Winners: Titus O’Neil
LOL Zeb with his head down.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 27, 2013
The Wyatt Family Speaks:
Lady Wyatt on the way in? #RAW
— Stacey (@LittleSherbie) August 27, 2013
Sister…..Abigail…..”her touch could save the world, but her kiss burns it to the ground”
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) August 27, 2013
Your sister Abigail also said “I need about three fiddy”, Bray Wyatt.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) August 27, 2013
Backstage: Brad Maddox is talking with the trainer, about how CM Punk is refusing Medical Attention. Punk barges in and demands a match with Paul Heyman, Maddox makes a handicap match for Night Of Champions instead: CM Punk vs. Curtis Axel and Paul Heyman in an elimination match. Maddox claims that if Heyman tries to back out of the match, we will never see him again. Punk grabs Maddox by the tie and says that if Heyman tries to back out, we might never see Brad Maddox again.
Punk, you cant choke people with a tie! Ask Bryan
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) August 27, 2013
Renee Young speaks to the WWE Roster: Renee Young asks Big Show about The Shield incident last week and if he’s frustrated. Big Show stays silent.
We interrupt The Shield’s awesome entrance to bring you… A Big Show interview.
— Not Regal (@RegalSays) August 27, 2013
Renee Young asks Dolph Ziggler, but Ziggler is quiet as well.
Renee trying to get people fired.
— Tom (@TomQWood) August 27, 2013
Renee Young asks The Miz and The Miz starts to speak…
Miz couldn’t keep his mouth shut.
— Long Tim (@TimWelcomed) August 27, 2013
But The Miz quickly shuts up…
The Miz: YEAH! I’LL TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED, RENEE! I THINK-*Remembers he has an expensive wedding to plan* Nevermind…
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 27, 2013
The very idea of “We don’t like what Triple H is doing but we want to keep our jobs even though we’ve walked out before” kinda bugs me.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 27, 2013
Match 08: Daniel Bryan vs. Seth Rollins
Oddly, Inside the Ring is the Safest Place for Daniel Bryan in This Match … and The Deadliest Place for His Opponents.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 27, 2013
Daniel Bryan hits an insane suicide dive on Seth Rollins!
Daniel Bryan hit Seth Rollins with the M. Bison.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) August 27, 2013
WOW! Daniel Bryan just knocked Seth Rollins from WWE Superstar to Color Commentator!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 27, 2013
How nice of Cole to give Seth his chair like that!
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) August 27, 2013
Seth Rollins gets the upperhand.
Seth Rollins Just Got Tired of Being Kicked in the Chest By Daniel Bryan!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 27, 2013
Man, Seth Rollins needs to realize that slapping Daniel Bryan in the face is literally the last thing you want to do in this life. #Raw
— Chris Sims (@theisb) August 27, 2013
Daniel Bryan hits a TOP ROPE GERMAN SUPLEX on Seth Rollins!
HOLY OMG!!!!
— Powerline (@Osito1034) August 27, 2013
GOOD GOD! Seth Rollins is dead!
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) August 27, 2013
BRYANS HULKING UP!!! #RAW
— The Mer™ (@mare_bare) August 27, 2013
Daniel Bryan hits the flying knee for the win.
YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 27, 2013
Winner: Daniel Bryan
Daniel Bryan vs Seth Rollins, top notch wrestling. #RAW
— Stacey (@LittleSherbie) August 27, 2013
Match 09: Dean Ambrose vs. Daniel Bryan
Daniel Bryan ends up locking the YES! Lock on Dean Ambrose but Roman Reigns interferes.
Damn Roman, way to jump the gun!
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) August 27, 2013
Winner: Daniel Bryan (via DQ)
Since when is it DQ in a gauntlet?
— Powerline (@Osito1034) August 27, 2013
Match 10: Daniel Bryan vs. Roman Reigns
Daniel Bryan locks the YES! Lock on Roman Reigns but Dean Ambrose interferes.
Winner: Daniel Bryan (via DQ)
So much for an actual gauntlet match.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 27, 2013
I’m just happy seeing these dudes in the main event of Raw.
— Kara (@karaadora) August 27, 2013
Post-Match, The Shield beats down Daniel Bryan while the WWE Superstars watch in disgust.
The match is over! Get involved!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 27, 2013
COME ON R-TRUTH YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 27, 2013
KOFI RUN IN!!
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) August 27, 2013
COME ON GREAT KHALI! CHOP HIM!
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 27, 2013
The Shield continues to beat down Daniel Bryan.
Big Show mean muggin’ lol #RAW
— Lucifer Vandross (@WellYoureWrong) August 27, 2013
Big Show! KNOCK SOMEBODY OUT! Iron Clad Contract! For the first time ever, MAKE ME LIKE YOU!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 27, 2013
Hornswoggle! Bite his quad!
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 27, 2013
Triple H’s Theme Song plays and he comes out as the roster makes room for him.
You gotta admit, the scenario is cool.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) August 27, 2013
There’s a Big Show chant! An actual Big Show chant!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 27, 2013
The Shield holds Daniel Bryan up allowing Roman Reigns to spear Triple H. Triple H comes out and stares down Big Show as the WWE Superstars look upset. The Shield hits Daniel Bryan with the Triple Powerbomb as Triple H continues to stare down the WWE Superstars.
I’m hoping Linda or Shane McMahon show up to help Bryan.
— Diego Violence (@Miss_Dani_Baby) August 27, 2013
Big Show’s huffin and puffin like someone at the last Mallomar.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 27, 2013
Randy Orton’s theme plays and Orton comes out next. The Shield holds up Daniel Bryan, which allows Randy Orton to RKO him.
I Was Hoping Daniel Bryan Would SOMEHOW Reverse the RKO There. He’s That Good!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 27, 2013
Randy Orton walks back over to Triple H and raises the WWE Championship as The Shield salutes them. Triple H taunts the WWE Superstars, then makes them spread out so he and Orton can leave.
I Know the WWE Superstars and Divas Can’t Interfere But Can They Write a Letter to the Board of Directors? Kofi, How’s Your Penmanship?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 27, 2013
@3ManBooth S.O.S! You see me writin’! S.O.S! It’s betta den fightinn’!
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) August 27, 2013
So That Happened:
#RAW has been on point lately. Great time to be a wrestling fan.
— Stacey (@LittleSherbie) August 27, 2013
Great tv. Awesome job the WWE is doing right now
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) August 27, 2013
I’m emotionally invested, this is good. Keep it up RAW, keep it up.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 27, 2013
You failed to use your Iron Clad contract, Big Show. You failed me again. #BigShowRuinsThings
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 27, 2013