I Have Til 5: Total Divas

 In I Have Till 5, 3MB will Pick a Topic and Discuss the 5 Finer Points of it

The WWE enters the world of reality television once again. This time, in a partnership with the E! Network, Total Divas follow WWE Divas like The Bella Twins, Natalya, The Funkadactyls and WWE Diva Newcomers – Eva Marie and Jojo – through the various stages of not only their WWE careers but also their lives outside of the ring, whatever and whoever that involves. The premiere episode starts with Wrestlemania 29 Weekend, where the Bellas and the Funkadactyls were supposed to compete against each other on the grandest stage of them all; the match was pulled from the card at the last minute. The drama only increases from that moment for the series. With a kickoff like that, we are hoping to see at least 5 things when Wrestling meets Reality.

Image Courtesy of the Bella Twins’ Twitter

Note: We were going to include ‘crossovers’ on the list of 5 but the Bellas have already appeared on Fashion Police, the WWE has invaded The Soup, and it’s only a matter of time until the Kim, Khloe or Kourtney start using Naomi’s Booty Bump maneuver on Keeping Up With the Kardashians. Those are the only shows we know on the E! Network: we’re out of ideas.

5. Actual Twin Magic


For years, the identical twins Nicole and Brie Bella have been earning victories in the WWE. Some were hard fought and well-deserved. Others, less so. For those questionable victories, the Bellas were known for implementing Twin Magic: one Bella would swap places with the other mid-match, unbeknownst to their opponents or the referee. The surprise resulted in a quick victory more often than not. But where did the Bellas perfect this art of deception? Maybe WWE Divas can show us The Bella Twin putting in the work hours at the famous Magic Castle. Located in Los Angeles, the establishment regular features both world most famous magicians as well as skilled up and comers, honing their craft in all forms of Magic. The Bellas could show off the success of their trick while picking up new ones from the who’s who of the magic community (C’mon, Neil Patrick Harris!); it’s the stuff of Reality Television.

4. Planet Funk


Cameron and Naomi – The Funkadactlys – are two of the Divas featured on Total Divas. Since the series promises to show the lives of the Divas in and out of the ring, why not show Cameron and Naomi in their one bedroom apartment on Planet Funk? It must be hard to get space-approved cameras but, for well over a year, there have been mentions of the Funkateers, the Funkadactyls and Momma Clay’s bridge club on WWE television. Show us Planet Funk already! What are the living conditions like? How far is the trip? Do all the men wear red jumpsuits and Kangol hats? Do all the women dress like cheerleaders? Is their sun a glowing, shiny disco ball in the sky? Do they only speak in dance? Does anybody there call their Momma? We’re dying to know. We want the Funk! Show us Planet Funk!

3. Background Watching


With all the programming the WWE does on television and their YouTube channel (don’t forget about the WWE App), it seems like there are cameras everywhere: in the ring, outside the ring, backstage, in the parking lot, you name it. With Total Divas, there will be even more cameras, meaning there will be plenty of opportunities to catch WWE Superstars in their more candid moments. Who will be the secret scene stealer of the WWE, popping up, making a funny face, and walking away? Darren Young has enough facial expressions that a Bingo-style game can be made from it. Why can’t the same be done with our new favorite reality show? Who will be the Where’s Waldo of Total Divas, almost never appearing on camera? Or, who will be the WWE Superstar with the most “accidental” camera time? Early guesses include the Miz: his Real World experience gives him an advantage over the WWE Superstars. Either way, we can all play along together.

2. Special Appearances


Total Divas only focuses on a select group of Divas. What about Kaitlyn? Or Layla? Or Akasana? Or AJ Lee?!? We would love to see these Divas in the background while the Total Divas cast does their thing. What if The Funkadactyls are going over strategy while Layla and Aksana are continuing their heated Tout War? What if, while the Bellas talk about marriage, you see AJ Lee running away from Kaitlyn with Big E. Langston in tow.  Speaking of the Bellas, AJ and Kaitlyn, were the cameras rolling when Tamina was eating that banana? Whatever happened to the banana? Or Tamina for that matter?

Courtesy of HeartbreakersCommunity
Special Appearances do not need to be limited to just the current Diva Roster. Since Total Divaspromises lives outside the ring and wrestling is a lifelong brotherhood and sisterhood, there is plenty of room for past Divas as well. Maybe a certain Glamazon shows up for a former tag team partner’s wedding? And, in general, which Superstars and Divas get the wedding inviations? Were Maryse and her fiancé The Miz be invited? Did Layla bring her former LayCool partner, Michelle McCool as her plus one? What’s Kelly Kelly up to? Surely, Divas keep in touch. Let’s see how much.
… Or, Kharma could randomly show up and destroy everybody at the wedding. Both work.

1. Daniel Bryan
Please have as much Daniel Bryan on Total Divas as possible. He makes everything better.

Courtesy of Letty-P
See? 

If you’re still having any doubts as to whether you should watch Total Divas (Sundays on the E! Network), here’s Daniel Bryan again:

Courtesy of Tumblr
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