RAW starts off with a Wyatt Family Promo
Last week’s RAW ended with a Wyatt Family Vignette. This week’s RAW opens with a Wyatt Family Vignette. Tonight’s gonna be special, folks!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 9, 2013
#RawisWyatt
— Powerline (@Osito1034) July 9, 2013
Guys, I don’t appreciate you leaving me out of the Wyatt family promos. pic.twitter.com/yhkysXrrAD
— Stacey (@LittleSherbie) July 9, 2013
Vickie Guerrero welcomes us to Monday Night RAW then tells the WWE Universe that she has been diligently working on the Money In The Bank Pay-Per-View. Vickie Guerrero talks about the importance of ladders and the Superstars that represent it, and then says that the ladder represents how far she has climbed year after year in her career. Vickie tells the WWE Universe if she falls, she’s holding them responsible.
“Great Things Have Been Associated With This Ladder…” like Joey Mercury’s Original Nose!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 9, 2013
Everyone we typically associate with ladders won’t be mentioned because they’re at TNA, or retired, or named Christian. #raw
— Arya Stark (@prettyheartless) July 9, 2013
Vickie Guerrero starts to climb the ladder.
I don’t like climbing ladders in flat shoes. Kudos to Vickie for doing it in heels. #raw
— Kara (@karaadora) July 9, 2013
Vickie Guerrero’s a champ climbing that ladder in high heels. Not even Maryse was able to do that.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 9, 2013
The crowd chants for Vickie Guerrero to fall!
@KeepItFiveStar Maybe…they can’t wait for autumn. Otherwise they’d just be an arena full of assholes, right?
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) July 9, 2013
At this point I think I would actually jump off my couch if she fell. Out of concern,of course. #raw
— Dani (@JacksGuiltyPlea) July 9, 2013
Vickie Guerrero talks about how successful she is as a Woman in a Male Dominated Environment. Vickie Guerrero talks about how she did everything on her own, but every decision she has made was for the WWE Universe. Vickie is interrupted by Jerry Lawler who says “Excuse Me!” then tells Vickie Guerrero that The McMahons are going to be considering any and all factors during the job evaluation tonight, including the opinions of by the WWE Universe. Jerry Lawler informs Vickie Guerrero and the WWE Universe about a poll on the WWE App, where they can decide to pass or fail Vickie.
Yes, I want to turn my job security over to the WWE Universe. Wait no. I want the opposite of that. #RAW
— D. O’Brien (@Heinekenrana) July 9, 2013
Vickie Guerrero’s Job Is On a Pass / Fail Basis. I’ve Taken Classes with Tougher Restrictions Than That.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 9, 2013
Vickie Guerrero starts to suck up to the WWE Universe, calling them family and says she knows she’ll have all of the support of the WWE Universe when she names tonight’s Main Event: A Face-To-Face confrontation between John Cena and Mark Henry and singles matches with the All-Star Money In The Bank Ladder Match Participants: Christian vs. Kane, CM Punk vs. Randy Orton and Daniel Bryan vs. #ScumbagSheamus.
Stacked show! #PassVickie
— Powerline (@Osito1034) July 9, 2013
Match 01: Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus
Basically, I’m excited for Daniel Bryan vs. anyone. He could be facing Jenna Morasca and I’d be psyched. #WWE #Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) July 9, 2013
Here’s hoping Daniel Bryan beats Sheamus in 18 seconds or less.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 9, 2013
18 Seconds Later:
Well, D Bryan has offically been in this match longer with Sheamus than one at Mania
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) July 9, 2013
#ScumbagSheamus is putting on a great match with Daniel Bryan. Hes still a scumbag though. #wwe #Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) July 9, 2013
#ScumbagSheamus tries to use the Texas Cloverleaf on Daniel Bryan, but Bryan counters with a small package.
Winner: Daniel Bryan
The beard is always victorious. #raw
— Arya Stark (@prettyheartless) July 9, 2013
Daniel Bryan Could Win the Money in the Bank Using All Counters. He’s Just THAT Good.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 9, 2013
THAT’S WHAT #SCUMBAGSHEAMUS GETS FOR TRYING TO BEAT DANIEL BRYAN WITH A SUBMISSION! Texas Cloverleaf? That’s Submission #32 for Bryan!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 9, 2013
Daniel Bryan has Beaten Sheamus and Randy Orton. Cena’s days are numbered. #wwe #raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) July 9, 2013
Post-Match, Daniel Bryan and #ScumbagSheamus shake hands.
And Tonight on RAW, #ScumbagSheamus Grew a Little Less Scumbaggy … Just a Little Bit.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 9, 2013
For once Sheamus is #GoodGuySheamus..im shocked.
— Bray Mysterio (@WellYoureWrong) July 9, 2013
But of course that didn’t last long…
Fair win. Shudda known better than to put a tasty #Cloverleaf under the nose of a hungry goat. #RAW
— Sheamus (@WWESheamus) July 9, 2013
WWE.Com Reporter Tries To Find The Wyatt Family Pt. 1:
Someone directs the WWE.com reporter to the Wyatt Family House
Fun Fact: That Wasn’t The First Reporter They Sent to The Wyatt Compound. Javaris Jamar Javarison Lamar Never Made It Back
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 9, 2013
Backstage: AJ Lee tells Big E. Langston to watch out for any “thundering hooves” because it’s Kaitlyn out to destroy her. AJ calls Big E. Langston out on laughing at her, but Big E. tells AJ that she’s buggin’ and that AJ can beat her. Dolph Ziggler walks up and AJ is all smiles. Dolph and AJ ask Big E. to give them a minute and AJ adds in to look out for “Man Arms McGee.”
Did all of Big E’s shirts come from the 90s?
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) July 9, 2013
AJ Lee asks Dolph what’s wrong and Dolph brings up the fact that AJ hasn’t been outside during his matches recently and their pact to become WWE’s Power Couple then calls her out on being obsessed with Kaitlyn. AJ tells Dolph that her only priority is to walk out of Money In The Bank with both of them as Champions and that she’ll do anything to make sure that happens. AJ wants Dolph to promise the same. AJ asks if Dolph wants to go all the way and Dolph responds that he wants to go all the way to his Third World Heavyweight Championship. The segment ends with Dolph and AJ kissing.
Wait, Ziggler wants to be champion of the Third World? He IS going face. Or going warlord. #WWE #Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) July 9, 2013
Match 02: The Shield (Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns) vs. Tons Of Funk
And here I thought there was no way you could take Tons Of Funk LESS seriously. Enter their new tights. #TonsOfFail
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 9, 2013
Why Do Tons of Funk Have Radishes on Their Bellies? You Know It’s Been a While Since They’ve Seen a Radish.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 9, 2013
Their attires are pretty bad. Like, create a wrestler bad.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) July 9, 2013
Tensai is having his own second screen experience with all this commentary he’s doing on Brodus’ beatdown.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 9, 2013
Roman Reigns attempts to lift Brodus Clay, but fails.
Brodus Clay tags in Sweet T.
Sweet T comes in AND THE CROWD GOES….mild.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 9, 2013
This is a lot of unexpected offense for ToF
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) July 9, 2013
Wow! Nobody Told Tensai He’s Not on The Money In The Bank Card, Kick-off or Not. #MakeItCount
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 9, 2013
Seth Rollins dives on Brodus Clay and Roman Reigns hits the spear on Tensai.
Winners: The Shield
RAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWARRSDASAHHHHHH. *Translation: Spear* Shield wins #RAW
— Bray Mysterio (@WellYoureWrong) July 9, 2013
Dang. Tough Break, Tons of Funk. Tensai Fought Like He Was Going to Get His Serfdom Back.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 9, 2013
WWE.com Reporter Visits The Wyatt Family Pt. 2:
Luke Harper invites the WWE.com Reporter into their home.
Todd Grisham’s first day back with WWE as a reporter has gone really wrong.
— Not Regal (@RegalSays) July 9, 2013
John Cena and Mark Henry: Face-To-Face
John Cena tells his BFF, Stu The Camermaman that they’re live from the land of pleasant living. Stu doesn’t care for Cena’s useless trivia.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 9, 2013
John Cena talks about the riled up crowd and says if he didn’t know any better, he’d think Money In The Bank was tonight instead of this Sunday. Cena brings up Mark Henry calling Cena out to “talk” then mentions that he’s right here and all that’s missing is the World’s Strongest Man.
John Cena, You Don’t Understand. If Mark Henry has to “Talk” to you, Your Mouth Stays Closed.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 9, 2013
Mark Henry’s theme plays and he comes down to the ring. Mark Henry tells John Cena that he has the same look on his face as he did last week: Fear. Cena claims he’s not afraid of Mark Henry, but Henry says he should be. Henry says for 17 years he’s starved and there’s only one thing that can satisfy his hunger. Rather than take Henry seriously, Cena makes a joke about Mark Henry wanting a Snickers Bar.
“@Shaul_Guerrero: I wonder who Mark Henry turns into when he doesn’t have a snickers bar lol thoughts anyone? #RAW” Mae Young. Not pretty.
— Arya Stark (@prettyheartless) July 9, 2013
Mark Henry tells John Cena that the “Old Mark Henry” would’ve either laughed at the joke or attacked John Cena, but instead, he’s going to chill. Henry tells Cena that he thinks he knows who the World’s Strongest Man is, but Cena doesn’t. Henry claims he’s a new man, that he’s known Cena for over 10 years, and that he knew who Cena was before Cena knew who he was. As the crowd starts to chant “WHAT?,” Henry tells Cena that he’s a puppet just like the WWE Universe.
Do They “WHAT?!?” Mark Henry Because He’s The Only One Still Around Who Remembers It?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 9, 2013
Mark Henry says that if he takes the WWE Championship, not only will validate his career, but he will also be a First Ballot Hall Of Famer. Henry says he’d sell out his own Mama to have the WWE Championship and reminds us that he even sold out his family. Cena tells Henry that he better win this Sunday and that he’s lost and won this title multiple times, but he’s done it with respect. Cena says he looks in Mark Henry’s eyes and sees a desperate man who has used his family and lied to the WWE Universe all for leather and gold. Cena tells Mark Henry that he better walk out as Champion because if he does, he gets the respect he wanted. If he doesn’t, it’s 17 years down the drain.
Mark Henry has lied to his wife and his kid now hes burying his momma. This man is a true hero. #wwe #raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) July 9, 2013
I Keep Expecting John Cena to Say to Mark Henry, “You Better … WERK” During This Segment
— LeKeith (@lekeithlewis) July 9, 2013
@Miss_Dani_Baby Nobody Wants to See That! (I Kinda Want to See if It’s Possible)
— LeKeith (@lekeithlewis) July 9, 2013
Mark Henry laughs at John Cena then says he doesn’t care about what Cena or the WWE Universe thinks. Henry talks about Cena’s mixed reaction, and says that Cena cares, but he doesn’t. Henry says Cena has lines he won’t cross because of his “goodness,” but Cena cuts him off to address the “Cena Sucks” chant and the fact that Mark Henry doesn’t care about the WWE Universe. Henry tells Cena that if he interrupts him one more time, Money In The Bank will start tonight.
Damn, Cena. Do not interrupt, Mark!
— Melisandre Baratheon (@RitaHepburn) July 9, 2013
This only gets better if Mark Henry reaches over and sons John Cena. #WWE #Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) July 9, 2013
John Cena mentions Mark Henry talking abot “crossing lines” and starting Money In The Bank early. Cena points to the ring, tells Mark Henry there’s a line and if he crosses it, he’ll kick Henry’s ass right now.
“Oh, so ya wanna fight, do ya? Ya wanna go start Money In The Bank, do ya?” Why is John Cena talking like he’s in the roaring 20s?
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 9, 2013
Cena sure loves taking off his shirt..Fighting, Flying, Going to a theme park, Church. #RAW
— Bray Mysterio (@WellYoureWrong) July 9, 2013
CROSS THAT LINE AND PUNCH HIM, MARK. PUNCH HIM HARD. #RAW
— D. O’Brien (@Heinekenrana) July 9, 2013
Jack Swagger should run in and compulsively step across the line. #WWE #Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) July 9, 2013
Mark Henry asks John Cena if he wants him to Cross The Line for free. Henry says that he took a 50% Paycut before and refuses to lose money. Henry tells Cena that he’ll get him at Money In The Bank.
Mark Henry: The World’s Strongest Businessman
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 9, 2013
Mark Henry changes his mind and says he’ll give John Cena a sample. Henry flexes on John Cena, but Cena steps back.
This is also kind of how I imagine a legitimate fight with Henry and Cena would go. *step* *JUMP BACK* #WWE #Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) July 9, 2013
Mark Henry pretends to leave the ring, but charges back and attacks John Cena. Cena tries to go for the AA, but Mark Henry falls on top of him. Mark Henry cradles John Cena like a baby then drops him with the World’s Strongest Slam.
@3ManBooth Cena never learns. He majored in Thuganomics, not pro wrestling.
— RingRopeGarick (@RingRopeGarick) July 9, 2013
And this Sunday, Cena will FU Mark Henry with the greatest of ease. Cena don’t go Superman for free. #RAW
— Bray Mysterio (@WellYoureWrong) July 9, 2013
Backstage: Josh Mathews asks Randy Orton about the Money In The Bank Ladder Match, then his match against CM Punk. Orton says Punk has always called himself Best In The World, but he doesn’t believe that to be true. Orton says he didn’t believe it at Wrestlemania 2 years ago, and he won’t believe it tonight and he won’t believe it at Money In The Bank. Randy Orton says that if John Cena retains the WWE Championship and is in a vulnerable state, he will not hesitate to cash in that contract.
That’s how scary Mark Henry is. Randy Orton only mentioned cashing in on John Cena. Nothing about a vulnerable Mark Henry.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 9, 2013
Match 03: Chris Jericho vs. Curtis Axel (w/ The Miz on commentary)
Paul Heyman comes out in sunglasses and says he’s not here to market himself as a martyr of CM Punk. He’s here to bask in the glory of perfection in the form of the Intercontinental Curtis Axel.
Damn Del Rio hit Heyman that hard?
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) July 9, 2013
Paul Heyman Didn’t Get a Black Eye From Alberto Del Rio. He Got Too Close to Brock Lesnar During Feeding Time.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 9, 2013
Respect to Heyman for going on with the show.
— Powerline (@Osito1034) July 9, 2013
Curtis Axel takes the mic and calls Chris Jericho out on being “The Best In The World” and wearing a jacket with Christmas lights. Axel says all he needs is the shine of the Intercontinental Champion to let the WWE Universe know that Curtis Axel has arrived. Axel says he spent a lifetime to get where he is and he will not let The Miz or Chris Jericho stand in the way of perfection.
Curt Henning Could Throw a Perfect Pass. Curtis Axel Can Throw a Perfect Pass … in Madden. #2ndGenerationPerfection
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 9, 2013
Curtis Axel hits the Pefect Plex but Chris Jericho kicks out!
Stop kicking out of the PerfectPlex!!! #wwe #raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) July 9, 2013
I’ve Been Contemplating the Idea that Jericho is a Modern Day Bret Hart and He Kicks Right Out of a PerfectPlex…
— LeKeith (@lekeithlewis) July 9, 2013
Curtis Axel gets distracted by The Miz, allowing Chris Jericho to take advantage with the Codebreaker.
You’d think Curtis Axel of all people would understand the mechanics of a countout, Paul. #Raw
— Chris Sims (@theisb) July 9, 2013
Winner: Chris Jericho
Coach Wouldn’t Have Let That Happen #JustSaying
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 9, 2013
Backstage: Josh Mathews asks Team Rhodes Scholars if they’re concerned that the both of them competing in the Money In The Bank Ladder match will affect their friendship. Sandow says absolutely not and if for some reason, he does not win the World Heavywight Title Contract, he would want nothing more than his Tag Team Partner and Best Friend, Cody Rhodes to win it. Sandow is sure Cody feels the same way. Cody is about to speak, but Sandow cuts him off, telling Mathews that he just told him what Cody thought.
The WHC Money In The Bank match is everything I’ve ever dreamed of. #notreally #butveryclose #raw
— Arya Stark (@prettyheartless) July 9, 2013
Antonio Cesaro, Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter interrupt the interview. Colter says if America doesn’t take charge of their country, their money is going to be worthless. Colter starts to call out Cody Rhodes out on being the son of the American Dream and says he should know the state that America is in because of this. Colter starts to talk about Cesaro and Swagger in the Money In The Bank, but is interrupted by Wade Barrett.
Hey! It’s The Star of Dead Man Down, Wade Barrett!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 9, 2013
Someone tell Zeb that there isnt any money in the MITB briefcase. #wwe #raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) July 9, 2013
Wade Barrett calls the other Money In The Bank participants ladies then says he’s the only person that’s going to win the Money In The Bank. Colter calls Barrett out on not speaking English and they all get into an argument until…
This Is the Best Survivor Series Team Ever!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 9, 2013
Then this happens…
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Gifs courtesy of UntamedObsession |
Give Wade Barrett the $10,000. #RAW
— Bray Mysterio (@WellYoureWrong) July 9, 2013
This is the WORST Survivor Series Team Ever!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 9, 2013
Dean Ambrose would have been in that segment but the http://t.co/4Yo6D5fAAx reporter stole his camera. #raw
— Arya Stark (@prettyheartless) July 9, 2013
WWE.Com Reporter Visits The Wyatts Pt. 3:
Luke Harper tells the reporter not to stray. The reporter sees a weird “Obey” ritual then gets yelled at. Bray Wyatt greets the reporter then tells him that he was waiting for him then invites him into the room.
I 100% love these Wyatt Family vignettes. They are delightful. #Raw
— Chris Sims (@theisb) July 9, 2013
Match 04: Sin Cara vs. Alberto Del Rio
Why Sin Cara, that is a LOVELY dress. #WWE #Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) July 9, 2013
Del Rio Should Pay Off One of the WWE Ring Announcers To Be New Interim Ricardo Rodriguez.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 9, 2013
Sin Cara is the only dude who needs a real life Instagram filter in hopes we don’t notice the botches. #raw
— Arya Stark (@prettyheartless) July 9, 2013
Alberto Del Rio is back to doing what he does best, and thats beating up Sin Cara. #wwe #raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) July 9, 2013
My Favorite Del Rio Moment is the Time He Made The Lights Come Back On By Kicking Sin Cara: https://t.co/RSI0MusI42
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 9, 2013
Dolph Ziggler’s theme song plays.
Somebody tell Dolph Ziggler that he CAN’T Cash in the Money In The Bank Contract anymore?
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 9, 2013
Dolph Ziggler comes out and taunts Alberto Del Rio on the outside, distracting Del Rio and only making him angrier.
The more Dolph talks, the angrier Del Rio gets and the more pain Sin Cara feels.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 9, 2013
Dolph Ziggler mocks Alberto Del Rio’s intro then Del Rio charges out to the ring and attacks him. Del Rio gets the upperhand until Sin Cara jumps to the top rope and dives on top of him.
So … Sin Cara won by Count out, Right?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 9, 2013
Winner: Sin Cara…?
Vickie Guerrero’s Job Evaluation:
Mr. McMahon’s theme plays as The McMahons walk down to the ring.
The McMahons walk out to Trio Entrance 04 from #WWE13
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 9, 2013
I Wonder if Vince McMahon, Stephanie McMahon and Triple H will Say “You’re Fired” in a Three Part Harmony?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 9, 2013
Before the evaluation begins, Stephanie McMahon thanks the WWE Universe for voting exclusively on the WWE App on whether or not Vickie passes and fails. Stephanie says their opinion will be considered tonight. Stephanie tells Vickie Guerrero to state her case. Vickie tries to state her case, but Stephanie McMahon tells her to sit down.
“Vickie, Could You Sit Down?” That’s a Power Move.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 9, 2013
Vickie Guerrero talks about respecting the McMahons and having a special love for the WWE Universe. Vickie says she took pride in producing high quality entertainment. Vickie reminds the McMahons about exposing AJ Lee, then bringing back Superstars like Rob Van Dam and The Rock. Vickie Guerrero claims she inspired The Undertaker to return to Wrestlemania. Stephanie McMahon calls her out on taking credit on returns she had nothing to do with and says she’s not even acknowledging the return of the man who took out Stephanie’s Father and her Husband, Brock Lesnar.
Vickie, not aware that Undertaker comes back every year apparently. #RAW
— D. O’Brien (@Heinekenrana) July 9, 2013
Stephanie McMahon tells Vickie Guerrero that being Managing Supervisor of RAW means you have to make tough decisions, but you also have to take responsibility for your actions. Stephanie asks Vickie if bringing Brock Lesnar back was a good idea and Vickie says that she thought it was the right move for business. Vickie apologizes for Lesnar’s attacks and says she had no idea that would happen.
“Good For Business.” That’s The Right Answer, Vickie! That’s the McMahon Answer!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 9, 2013
Vickie is the most competent person in that ring. #raw
— Arya Stark (@prettyheartless) July 9, 2013
Mr. McMahon takes the mic and tells Vickie Guerrero she has no reason to apologize and thinks bringing Brock Lesnar back was a stroke of genius. McMahon tells Vickie Guerrero that he believes she’s highly entertaining, despite her bonehead decisions in the past. Triple H chimes in and says that Vickie can be unintentionally entertaining, but she’s terrible at her job.
“I’ll Be The First …” Technically, You’re Third Triple H. “One To Admit … That She’s Entertaining” That Was Tough For You, Big Guy?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 9, 2013
Triple H calls Vickie Guerrero rotten then calls her out on doing a poor job of promoting WWE2K14.
We’re pretty sure our cover reveal was handled great by Vickie on @WWE #Raw
— WWE 2K (@WWEgames) July 9, 2013
Is This the WWE’s Version of Shark Tank? Is Mark Cuban Going to Come Out and Go Through a Table? That’s What Happens On That Show, Right?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 9, 2013
Triple H says the WWE Universe boos her out of the building every week and it’s bad for business. Triple H tells Mr. McMahon that he knows he thinks that’s entertaining, but thinks he needs to put that aside because there’s a reason the Golden Girls aren’t on TV anymore.
DID TRIPS JUST DISS MY GOLDEN GIRLS!?!?!?
— Chris Riddle (@ChrisRiddle) July 9, 2013
The Golden Girls aren’t on TV anymore because most of them are dead, Hunter. #Raw
— Chris Sims (@theisb) July 9, 2013
Triple H says the WWE Universe wants and deserves better than Vickie Guerrero. Triple H claims Vickie Guerrero has the most annoying voice in the history of television, but Mr. McMahon thinks she has a unique voice. Mr. McMahon thanks Vickie Guerrero for her hard work, passion and dedication and for breaking through the Male Dominated Corporate Structure. Mr. McMahon tells Vickie that he admires her and that unlike other short-sided individuals in the ring, he thinks Vickie should be Permanent General Manager.
Now Triple H and Vince McMahon are Talking About Vickie’s Voice? Is THIS the Voice? Where’s Blake Shelton?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 9, 2013
Triple H chimes in speaking for the “obviously short-sided” side of the table and says he doesn’t want to argue about this since he’s the COO and Mr. McMahon is the Chairman, because Mr. McMahon is going to do whatever he wants to do anyway. Triple H says the point of this is put some spineless puppet in a position of power to stroke Mr. McMahon’s ego and do whatever McMahon wants. Triple H says if that’s not the case, he proposes that since Stephanie McMahon called this meaning, let her decide Vickie’s fate. Mr. McMahon agrees that his daughter, Daddy’s Little Girl will make the right decision for Entertainment. Triple H has no problem that his wife, the Mother of his children and the woman that’s going to have to put up with him after this, making what he knows will be the right decision for business.
You NEVER announce in public that you may have an issue with your wife, and you NEVER sound condescending about it either, dudebros. #RAW
— D. O’Brien (@Heinekenrana) July 9, 2013
Can Stephanie Be the Voice Of Reason? And By Reason I Mean be the One to Say “Wrestling?” Not Business. Not Entertainment. Wrestling
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 9, 2013
Steph is gonna bust out with that demonic “HEY!!!” again
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) July 9, 2013
Stephanie McMahon says that this job evaluation has escalated quickly a lot further than any of them imagined and she refuses to let anyone or anything drive a wedge between her family. Stephanie McMahon decides to let the WWE App decide if Vickie Guerrero passed or failed.
It hasn’t escalated ’til someone dies by trident, Stephanie. #WWE #Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) July 9, 2013
Vickie Guerrero’s fate is decided by the WWE App. 25% Pass, 75% Fail.
Only the WWE Universe would want a hard working Mother to lose their job.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 9, 2013
Fun Fact: Brad Maddox Rigged the Vote on the WWE App. He’s a #HeartthrobHacker
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 9, 2013
Vickie Guerrero starts screaming that she is not a spineless puppet and that you can’t trust the WWE Universe. Vickie refuses to have a popularity contest decide her fate and screams that it is not right. Stephanie McMahon tells Vickie Guerrero that she’s got two words for her…
“I’ve got two words for you! *Triple H prepares a DX Crotch Chop. In the immortal words of my FATHER…*Triple H frowns* – Stephanie McMahon
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 9, 2013
Stephanie McMahon fires Vickie Guerrero! Vickie Guerrero falls to her knees in shock then begins to have a tantrum.
Who knew firing Vickie Guerrero would cause her to melt. #wwe #raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) July 9, 2013
Vickie Guerrero screams that The McMahons need her in charge and has a tantrum on the table. Mr. McMahon takes the mic and asks if the WWE Universe is happy. Mr. McMahon tells the WWE Universe that they broke Vickie Guerrero’s heart, which they chear for. Mr. McMahon tells the WWE Universe not to turn into animals then says that Vickie Guerrero didn’t fail, the WWE Universe failed.
“Each and Every One of You Just Failed!” – Vince McMahon, Master of the Pop Quiz in the Summertime.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 9, 2013
Mr. McMahon claims the WWE Universe threw away what could have been the most entertaining GM of all time. Mr. McMahon tells the WWE Universe that they have no idea what the right decision would be, so he’s going to make it for them and name a new GM of Monday Night RAW…Brad Maddox!
Is Brad Maddox old enough to GM? #WWE #Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) July 9, 2013
Oh Man! Brad Maddox is About to Adamle This!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 9, 2013
I was going to nominate Edge but I assume he has better things to do. Brad Maddox, it is… #raw
— Arya Stark (@prettyheartless) July 9, 2013
Brad Maddox as RAW GM is gonna be like that time Ben Wyatt of Parks and Rec became Mayor at age 18.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 9, 2013
Backstage: Vickie Guerrero is crying to Mr. McMahon. Mr. McMahon tells Vickie that she’ll make it right. Brad Maddox walks up and apologizes to Vickie Guerrero then tells Mr. McMahon this is not a decision that he will regret. Brad tries to shake Vickie Guerrero’s hand, but Mr. McMahon tells Maddox that he gave the WWE Universe what they deserved. Vickie Guerrero snaps and attacks Brad Maddox.
You Guys, RAW Survived a Laptop as GM. Brad Maddox Could (re: Should!) Make All His Matches By Magic 8-Ball and RAW would be Fine.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 9, 2013
Match 05: Kane vs. Christian
Christian vs. Kane, in a match of Biblical proportions. #WWE #Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) July 9, 2013
So RVD Gets a Night of Montages and Kane Gets 2 Photos on the WWE App? #UnfairToKane
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 9, 2013
Christian’s Titantron has a mix up:
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First picture courtesy of JKWrestling |
Uh, did that say Michael McGillicutty? Jesus. That name is a curse.
— Shay Mitchell (@ShayLMitchell) July 9, 2013
PRODUCTION TRUCK! GO HOME! YOUR DRUNK!
— Chris Riddle (@ChrisRiddle) July 9, 2013
So does this make Christian a Paul Heyman guy? #wwe #Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) July 9, 2013
Winner: Kane
Is this win for Kane all that big if it’s over Michael McGillicutty? #WWE #Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) July 9, 2013
Post-Match, The Wyatts Appear on the Titantron.
OH SHIIIIIIII Y’ALL #RAW
— D. O’Brien (@Heinekenrana) July 9, 2013
Uh-oh…..
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 9, 2013
Its time!
— Powerline (@Osito1034) July 9, 2013
Bray Wyatt is seen in a rocking chair. Wyatt says he has no followers, only brothers and sisters in the name of cause. Wyatt says people are sheep who can’t lead themselves and that they need to be lead. Wyatt says people buy and sell fear and worship and crave war, but he’s not afraid of their wars because he created war. Wyatt says it’s time for the masses to wake up and see the world deteriorating and that people do nothing about it. Wyatt says he’s seen it all happen in his dreams and thoughts and he understands that this is not the beginning…it’s the end. The lights go pitch black and Bray Wyatt says that they’re here.
They’re no longer coming, they’re here #WyattFamily #RAW
— Bray Mysterio (@WellYoureWrong) July 9, 2013
LOOK AT IT LOOK LOOK UPON HIS WORKS YE MIGHTY AND YOU MARK THE ABSOLUTE HELL OUT RIGHT NOW #RAW
— D. O’Brien (@Heinekenrana) July 9, 2013
The Wyatts come out to a nice ovation from the crowd, in pitch black with a light to guide them.
I could feel the smile slowly creep across my face. #TheyreHere #raw
— Dani (@JacksGuiltyPlea) July 9, 2013
This is an Awesome Entrance! It’s Like the Reverse Brood
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 9, 2013
I’m here to be saved by The Wyatt Family!
— Angélica Stark (@angie_chipz) July 9, 2013
Kane better not still be in the Ring. He can make fire whenever he wants!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 9, 2013
Unfortunately for Kane, he is still in the ring. Kane gets brutally attacked by Luke Harper and Erick Rowan all while Bray Wyatt watches in his rocking chair.
“Get out of there, Kane. >.< Get out of there!" – JBL as Kane is in the middle of getting beat down.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 9, 2013
@KeepItFiveStar JBL yells “don’t go in there!” in the middle of people getting stabbed during horror movies.
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) July 9, 2013
The Wyatts throw the steel steps right on Kane’s face!
Kane is D-E-D, Dead #RAW #WyattFamily
— Bray Mysterio (@WellYoureWrong) July 9, 2013
Daniel Bryan would’ve helped out Kane, but he’s being distracted by Brie Bella who wants Bryan to help her choose an outfit for Total Divas
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 9, 2013
@donnybrookboys KANE used Fire! … it wasn’t very effective. WYATT FAMILY used Holy Lamp Of True Salvation! …. KO! #RAW
— D. O’Brien (@Heinekenrana) July 9, 2013
Bray Wyatt walks over, gets on his knees and poses over Kane.
AMAZING. EVERY BIT OF THAT.
— Powerline (@Osito1034) July 9, 2013
Backstage: Vickie Guerrero is walking out of the building with her box of stuff. Ryback takes the box from her then gives her a hug. Ryback tells Vickie that she deserves better and that it’s going to be okay. Ryback gives Vickie the box back then walks off.
Welp…I bet nobody shipped Ryback and Vickie Guerrero together.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 9, 2013
Ryback just comforted her like someone who has watched a lot of videos on “emotions” but no really used them before. #WWE #Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) July 9, 2013
The Ryback, Be a Gentleman and Carry Her Things! All Them Muscles and You Have No Manners!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 9, 2013
BTW, fail on that crowd for not singing “Icky Vicky”.
— Powerline (@Osito1034) July 9, 2013
Match 06: AJ Lee and Alicia Fox vs. Kaitlyn and Layla (w/ The Bellas on commentary)
Fun Fact: AJ Lee is Such an Influential Diva, Skipping is up 300% in the WWE. Look at Alicia Fox, Skipping in Tow!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 9, 2013
“AJ must smell like food.” ……..what?
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) July 9, 2013
You Know, The Bellas on Commentary Make Me Miss The Miz on Commentary.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 9, 2013
“The ratings are up because The Bella Twins are back.” – Bellas “That couldn’t be further from the truth” – Nielsen Ratings Representative
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 9, 2013
The ratings went up when the Bella Twins came back??? Hahaha…..
— Maria Kanellis (@MariaLKanellis) July 9, 2013
Kaitlyn attacks AJ Lee from behind until Alicia Fox and Layla separate them.
There Goes Katie Kaboom Again … and I Love It.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 9, 2013
AJ tries to run away but Kaitlyn spears AJ!
Kaitlyn floors AJ! …AJ is so cute when she sleeps. #WWE #Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) July 9, 2013
Alright, Kaitlyn wins spear of the night. God damn. #RAW
— Stacey (@LittleSherbie) July 9, 2013
Calm yoself, Kaitpossible. You Killed, AJ! #RAW
— Bray Mysterio (@WellYoureWrong) July 9, 2013
So … Who Won?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 9, 2013
Winner: Not AJ
Backstage: Josh Mathews asks CM Punk about Randy Orton’s confidence, but Punk cuts him off. Punk says Orton is entitled to be confident and that he heard that Orton thinks he’s not the Best In the World. Punk says Orton is entitled to his opinions, but the one thing he is not entitled to is facts. CM Punk asks if he’s the Best In The World because of his 434 Day title reign makes him The Best In The World? Punk says he doesn’t know, but what he does know is holding the WWE Title longer than anyone in the modern era makes him the Best In The World and defeating Randy Orton makes him the Best In The World, and when he wins the Money In The Bank for a 3rd Time, that makes him the Best In The World.
You think when CM Punk enters pie-eating contests, he yells “IT’S COBBLERIN’ TIME!” before he starts? #WWE
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) July 9, 2013
Match 07: CM Punk vs. Randy Orton
CM Punk versus Randy Orton: The Last Main Event Under the Vickie Guerrero Era. It’s Just Like Flair versus Sting.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 9, 2013
CM Punk hits the Flying Elbow on Randy Orton.
One of these days CM Punk is going to break his leg doing that busted elbow
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) July 9, 2013
CM Punk tries to signal for the G.T.S. but it looks a lot like the Feed Me More Chant.
CM Punk pandering to the fans??? Hell has frozen over #wwe #raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) July 9, 2013
Not sure if the crowd was chanting “CM Punk” or “Feed Me More”
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 9, 2013
Randy Orton counters the G.T.S. then his the Orton DDT. Orton goes for the RKO, but Punk tries to counter with a backslide. Orton counters the backslide with a powerslam!
Jeez! That Powerslam was Crisp!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 9, 2013
Randy Orton goes for the RKO but CM Punk kicks him in the head.
What a kick by Punk!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 9, 2013
CM Punk hits the GTS on Randy Orton for the victory!
Winner: CM Punk
Punk wins.
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) July 9, 2013
That sure was a match. #raw
— Bray Mysterio (@WellYoureWrong) July 9, 2013
First Daniel Bryan beats #ScumbagSheamus. Now CM Punk beats Randy Orton. Is this RAW? Or my Universe Mode?
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 9, 2013
Post-Match, Daniel Bryan attacks CM Punk then hits Randy Orton with a ladder.
Weirdly, I Can’t Blame Daniel Bryan for This. Get the Advantage Any Way You Can!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 9, 2013
Daniel Bryan climbs the ladder.
BRYAN THE CONTRACT ISN’T IN THERE YET. YOU CAN’T WIN NOW. #Raw
— Tyler Edwards (@Tyler_J_Edwards) July 9, 2013
See? Daniel Bryan’s Getting Practice Unhooking the Briefcase! That’s an Often Overlooked Step!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 9, 2013
Daniel Bryan pulls down the Money In The Bank Briefcase then chants “YES!”
If D Bry doesn’t take out Money In The Bank I’ll eat my hat. #RAW
— Stacey (@LittleSherbie) July 9, 2013
So That Happened:
That was not a terrible episode of #Raw. Bryan and Henry were the bright spots as usual. And the Wyatt debut. #WWE
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) July 9, 2013
Raw was decent. Wyatt Family > Everything.
— Melisandre Baratheon (@RitaHepburn) July 9, 2013
Enjoyable RAW I must say. Gotta watch that Wyatt debut again. Haven’t been this creeped out, but impressed since The Brood. #RAW
— Stacey (@LittleSherbie) July 9, 2013