So That Happened: 07/08/13 (They’re Here!)

RAW starts off with a Wyatt Family Promo

Vickie Guerrero welcomes us to Monday Night RAW then tells the WWE Universe that she has been diligently working on the Money In The Bank Pay-Per-View. Vickie Guerrero talks about the importance of ladders and the Superstars that represent it, and then says that the ladder represents how far she has climbed year after year in her career. Vickie tells the WWE Universe if she falls, she’s holding them responsible.

Vickie Guerrero starts to climb the ladder.

The crowd chants for Vickie Guerrero to fall!

Vickie Guerrero talks about how successful she is as a Woman in a Male Dominated Environment. Vickie Guerrero talks about how she did everything on her own, but every decision she has made was for the WWE Universe. Vickie is interrupted by Jerry Lawler who says “Excuse Me!” then tells Vickie Guerrero that The McMahons are going to be considering any and all factors during the job evaluation tonight, including the opinions of by the WWE Universe. Jerry Lawler informs Vickie Guerrero and the WWE Universe about a poll on the WWE App, where they can decide to pass or fail Vickie.

Vickie Guerrero starts to suck up to the WWE Universe, calling them family and says she knows she’ll have all of the support of the WWE Universe when she names tonight’s Main Event: A Face-To-Face confrontation between John Cena and Mark Henry and singles matches with the All-Star Money In The Bank Ladder Match Participants: Christian vs. Kane, CM Punk vs. Randy Orton and Daniel Bryan vs. #ScumbagSheamus.

Match 01: Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus

18 Seconds Later:

#ScumbagSheamus tries to use the Texas Cloverleaf on Daniel Bryan, but Bryan counters with a small package. 

Winner: Daniel Bryan

Post-Match, Daniel Bryan and #ScumbagSheamus shake hands.

But of course that didn’t last long…

WWE.Com Reporter Tries To Find The Wyatt Family Pt. 1:

Someone directs the reporter to the Wyatt Family House

Backstage: AJ Lee tells Big E. Langston to watch out for any “thundering hooves” because it’s Kaitlyn out to destroy her. AJ calls Big E. Langston out on laughing at her, but Big E. tells AJ that she’s buggin’ and that AJ can beat her. Dolph Ziggler walks up and AJ is all smiles. Dolph and AJ ask Big E. to give them a minute and AJ adds in to look out for “Man Arms McGee.”

AJ Lee asks Dolph what’s wrong and Dolph brings up the fact that AJ hasn’t been outside during his matches recently and their pact to become WWE’s Power Couple then calls her out on being obsessed with Kaitlyn. AJ tells Dolph that her only priority is to walk out of Money In The Bank with both of them as Champions and that she’ll do anything to make sure that happens. AJ wants Dolph to promise the same. AJ asks if Dolph wants to go all the way and Dolph responds that he wants to go all the way to his Third World Heavyweight Championship. The segment ends with Dolph and AJ kissing.

Match 02: The Shield (Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns) vs. Tons Of Funk

Roman Reigns attempts to lift Brodus Clay, but fails.

Brodus Clay tags in Sweet T.

Seth Rollins dives on Brodus Clay and Roman Reigns hits the spear on Tensai.

Winners: The Shield Reporter Visits The Wyatt Family Pt. 2: 

Luke Harper invites the Reporter into their home.

John Cena and Mark Henry: Face-To-Face

John Cena talks about the riled up crowd and says if he didn’t know any better, he’d think Money In The Bank was tonight instead of this Sunday. Cena brings up Mark Henry calling Cena out to “talk” then mentions that he’s right here and all that’s missing is the World’s Strongest Man.

Mark Henry’s theme plays and he comes down to the ring. Mark Henry tells John Cena that he has the same look on his face as he did last week: Fear. Cena claims he’s not afraid of Mark Henry, but Henry says he should be. Henry says for 17 years he’s starved and there’s only one thing that can satisfy his hunger. Rather than take Henry seriously, Cena makes a joke about Mark Henry wanting a Snickers Bar.

Mark Henry tells John Cena that the “Old Mark Henry” would’ve either laughed at the joke or attacked John Cena, but instead, he’s going to chill. Henry tells Cena that he thinks he knows who the World’s Strongest Man is, but Cena doesn’t. Henry claims he’s a new man, that he’s known Cena for over 10 years, and that he knew who Cena was before Cena knew who he was. As the crowd starts to chant “WHAT?,” Henry tells Cena that he’s a puppet just like the WWE Universe.

Mark Henry says that if he takes the WWE Championship, not only will validate his career, but he will also be a First Ballot Hall Of Famer. Henry says he’d sell out his own Mama to have the WWE Championship and reminds us that he even sold out his family. Cena tells Henry that he better win this Sunday and that he’s lost and won this title multiple times, but he’s done it with respect. Cena says he looks in Mark Henry’s eyes and sees a desperate man who has used his family and lied to the WWE Universe all for leather and gold. Cena tells Mark Henry that he better walk out as Champion because if he does, he gets the respect he wanted. If he doesn’t, it’s 17 years down the drain.

Mark Henry laughs at John Cena then says he doesn’t care about what Cena or the WWE Universe thinks. Henry talks about Cena’s mixed reaction, and says that Cena cares, but he doesn’t. Henry says Cena has lines he won’t cross because of his “goodness,” but Cena cuts him off to address the “Cena Sucks” chant and the fact that Mark Henry doesn’t care about the WWE Universe. Henry tells Cena that if he interrupts him one more time, Money In The Bank will start tonight.

John Cena mentions Mark Henry talking abot “crossing lines” and starting Money In The Bank early. Cena points to the ring, tells Mark Henry there’s a line and if he crosses it, he’ll kick Henry’s ass right now.

Mark Henry asks John Cena if he wants him to Cross The Line for free. Henry says that he took a 50% Paycut before and refuses to lose money. Henry tells Cena that he’ll get him at Money In The Bank.

Mark Henry changes his mind and says he’ll give John Cena a sample. Henry flexes on John Cena, but Cena steps back.

Mark Henry pretends to leave the ring, but charges back and attacks John Cena. Cena tries to go for the AA, but Mark Henry falls on top of him. Mark Henry cradles John Cena like a baby then drops him with the World’s Strongest Slam.

Backstage: Josh Mathews asks Randy Orton about the Money In The Bank Ladder Match, then his match against CM Punk. Orton says Punk has always called himself Best In The World, but he doesn’t believe that to be true. Orton says he didn’t believe it at Wrestlemania 2 years ago, and he won’t believe it tonight and he won’t believe it at Money In The Bank. Randy Orton says that if John Cena retains the WWE Championship and is in a vulnerable state, he will not hesitate to cash in that contract.

Match 03: Chris Jericho vs. Curtis Axel (w/ The Miz on commentary) 

Paul Heyman comes out in sunglasses and says he’s not here to market himself as a martyr of CM Punk. He’s here to bask in the glory of perfection in the form of the Intercontinental Curtis Axel.

Curtis Axel takes the mic and calls Chris Jericho out on being “The Best In The World” and wearing a jacket with Christmas lights. Axel says all he needs is the shine of the Intercontinental Champion to let the WWE Universe know that Curtis Axel has arrived. Axel says he spent a lifetime to get where he is and he will not let The Miz or Chris Jericho stand in the way of perfection.

Curtis Axel hits the Pefect Plex but Chris Jericho kicks out!

Curtis Axel gets distracted by The Miz, allowing Chris Jericho to take advantage with the Codebreaker.

Winner: Chris Jericho

Backstage: Josh Mathews asks Team Rhodes Scholars if they’re concerned that the both of them competing in the Money In The Bank Ladder match will affect their friendship. Sandow says absolutely not and if for some reason, he does not win the World Heavywight Title Contract, he would want nothing more than his Tag Team Partner and Best Friend, Cody Rhodes to win it. Sandow is sure Cody feels the same way. Cody is about to speak, but Sandow cuts him off, telling Mathews that he just told him what Cody thought.

Antonio Cesaro, Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter interrupt the interview. Colter says if America doesn’t take charge of their country, their money is going to be worthless. Colter starts to call out Cody Rhodes out on being the son of the American Dream and says he should know the state that America is in because of this. Colter starts to talk about Cesaro and Swagger in the Money In The Bank, but is interrupted by Wade Barrett.

Wade Barrett calls the other Money In The Bank participants ladies then says he’s the only person that’s going to win the Money In The Bank. Colter calls Barrett out on not speaking English and they all get into an argument until…

Then this happens…

Gifs courtesy of UntamedObsession

WWE.Com Reporter Visits The Wyatts Pt. 3: 

 Luke Harper tells the reporter not to stray. The reporter sees a weird “Obey” ritual then gets yelled at. Bray Wyatt greets the reporter then tells him that he was waiting for him then invites him into the room.

Match 04: Sin Cara vs. Alberto Del Rio

Dolph Ziggler’s theme song plays.

Dolph Ziggler comes out and taunts Alberto Del Rio on the outside, distracting Del Rio and only making him angrier.

Dolph Ziggler mocks Alberto Del Rio’s intro then Del Rio charges out to the ring and attacks him. Del Rio gets the upperhand until Sin Cara jumps to the top rope and dives on top of him.

Winner: Sin Cara…?

Vickie Guerrero’s Job Evaluation:

Mr. McMahon’s theme plays as The McMahons walk down to the ring.

Before the evaluation begins, Stephanie McMahon thanks the WWE Universe for voting exclusively on the WWE App on whether or not Vickie passes and fails. Stephanie says their opinion will be considered tonight. Stephanie tells Vickie Guerrero to state her case. Vickie tries to state her case, but Stephanie McMahon tells her to sit down.

Vickie Guerrero talks about respecting the McMahons and having a special love for the WWE Universe. Vickie says she took pride in producing high quality entertainment. Vickie reminds the McMahons about exposing AJ Lee, then bringing back Superstars like Rob Van Dam and The Rock. Vickie Guerrero claims she inspired The Undertaker to return to Wrestlemania. Stephanie McMahon calls her out on taking credit on returns she had nothing to do with and says she’s not even acknowledging the return of the man who took out Stephanie’s Father and her Husband, Brock Lesnar.

Stephanie McMahon tells Vickie Guerrero that being Managing Supervisor of RAW means you have to make tough decisions, but you also have to take responsibility for your actions. Stephanie asks Vickie if bringing Brock Lesnar back was a good idea and Vickie says that she thought it was the right move for business. Vickie apologizes for Lesnar’s attacks and says she had no idea that would happen.

Mr. McMahon takes the mic and tells Vickie Guerrero she has no reason to apologize and thinks bringing Brock Lesnar back was a stroke of genius. McMahon tells Vickie Guerrero that he believes she’s highly entertaining, despite her bonehead decisions in the past. Triple H chimes in and says that Vickie can be unintentionally entertaining, but she’s terrible at her job.

Triple H calls Vickie Guerrero rotten then calls her out on doing a poor job of promoting WWE2K14.

Triple H says the WWE Universe boos her out of the building every week and it’s bad for business. Triple H tells Mr. McMahon that he knows he thinks that’s entertaining, but thinks he needs to put that aside because there’s a reason the Golden Girls aren’t on TV anymore.

Triple H says the WWE Universe wants and deserves better than Vickie Guerrero. Triple H claims Vickie Guerrero has the most annoying voice in the history of television, but Mr. McMahon thinks she has a unique voice. Mr. McMahon thanks Vickie Guerrero for her hard work, passion and dedication and for breaking through the Male Dominated Corporate Structure. Mr. McMahon tells Vickie that he admires her and that unlike other short-sided individuals in the ring, he thinks Vickie should be Permanent General Manager.

Triple H chimes in speaking for the “obviously short-sided” side of the table and says he doesn’t want to argue about this since he’s the COO and Mr. McMahon is the Chairman, because Mr. McMahon is going to do whatever he wants to do anyway. Triple H says the point of this is put some spineless puppet in a position of power to stroke Mr. McMahon’s ego and do whatever McMahon wants. Triple H says if that’s not the case, he proposes that since Stephanie McMahon called this meaning, let her decide Vickie’s fate. Mr. McMahon agrees that his daughter, Daddy’s Little Girl will make the right decision for Entertainment. Triple H has no problem that his wife, the Mother of his children and the woman that’s going to have to put up with him after this, making what he knows will be the right decision for business.

Stephanie McMahon says that this job evaluation has escalated quickly a lot further than any of them imagined and she refuses to let anyone or anything drive a wedge between her family. Stephanie McMahon decides to let the WWE App decide if Vickie Guerrero passed or failed.

Vickie Guerrero’s fate is decided by the WWE App. 25% Pass, 75% Fail.

Vickie Guerrero starts screaming that she is not a spineless puppet and that you can’t trust the WWE Universe. Vickie refuses to have a popularity contest decide her fate and screams that it is not right. Stephanie McMahon tells Vickie Guerrero that she’s got two words for her…

Stephanie McMahon fires Vickie Guerrero! Vickie Guerrero falls to her knees in shock then begins to have a tantrum.

Vickie Guerrero screams that The McMahons need her in charge and has a tantrum on the table. Mr. McMahon takes the mic and asks if the WWE Universe is happy. Mr. McMahon tells the WWE Universe that they broke Vickie Guerrero’s heart, which they chear for. Mr. McMahon tells the WWE Universe not to turn into animals then says that Vickie Guerrero didn’t fail, the WWE Universe failed.

Mr. McMahon claims the WWE Universe threw away what could have been the most entertaining GM of all time. Mr. McMahon tells the WWE Universe that they have no idea what the right decision would be, so he’s going to make it for them and name a new GM of Monday Night RAW…Brad Maddox!

Backstage: Vickie Guerrero is crying to Mr. McMahon. Mr. McMahon tells Vickie that she’ll make it right. Brad Maddox walks up and apologizes to Vickie Guerrero then tells Mr. McMahon this is not a decision that he will regret. Brad tries to shake Vickie Guerrero’s hand, but Mr. McMahon tells Maddox that he gave the WWE Universe what they deserved. Vickie Guerrero snaps and attacks Brad Maddox.

Match 05: Kane vs. Christian

Christian’s Titantron has a mix up:

First picture courtesy of JKWrestling

Winner: Kane

Post-Match, The Wyatts Appear on the Titantron.

Bray Wyatt is seen in a rocking chair. Wyatt says he has no followers, only brothers and sisters in the name of cause. Wyatt says people are sheep who can’t lead themselves and that they need to be lead. Wyatt says people buy and sell fear and worship and crave war, but he’s not afraid of their wars because he created war. Wyatt says it’s time for the masses to wake up and see the world deteriorating and that people do nothing about it. Wyatt says he’s seen it all happen in his dreams and thoughts and he understands that this is not the beginning…it’s the end. The lights go pitch black and Bray Wyatt says that they’re here.

The Wyatts come out to a nice ovation from the crowd, in pitch black with a light to guide them.

Unfortunately for Kane, he is still in the ring. Kane gets brutally attacked by Luke Harper and Erick Rowan all while Bray Wyatt watches in his rocking chair.

The Wyatts throw the steel steps right on Kane’s face!

Bray Wyatt walks over, gets on his knees and poses over Kane.

Backstage: Vickie Guerrero is walking out of the building with her box of stuff. Ryback takes the box from her then gives her a hug. Ryback tells Vickie that she deserves better and that it’s going to be okay. Ryback gives Vickie the box back then walks off.

Match 06: AJ Lee and Alicia Fox vs. Kaitlyn and Layla (w/ The Bellas on commentary)

Kaitlyn attacks AJ Lee from behind until Alicia Fox and Layla separate them.

AJ tries to run away but Kaitlyn spears AJ!

Winner: Not AJ 

Backstage: Josh Mathews asks CM Punk about Randy Orton’s confidence, but Punk cuts him off. Punk says Orton is entitled to be confident and that he heard that Orton thinks he’s not the Best In the World. Punk says Orton is entitled to his opinions, but the one thing he is not entitled to is facts. CM Punk asks if he’s the Best In The World because of his 434 Day title reign makes him The Best In The World? Punk says he doesn’t know, but what he does know is holding the WWE Title longer than anyone in the modern era makes him the Best In The World and defeating Randy Orton makes him the Best In The World, and when he wins the Money In The Bank for a 3rd Time, that makes him the Best In The World.

Match 07: CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

CM Punk hits the Flying Elbow on Randy Orton.

CM Punk tries to signal for the G.T.S. but it looks a lot like the Feed Me More Chant.

Randy Orton counters the G.T.S. then his the Orton DDT. Orton goes for the RKO, but Punk tries to counter with a backslide. Orton counters the backslide with a powerslam!

Randy Orton goes for the RKO but CM Punk kicks him in the head.

CM Punk hits the GTS on Randy Orton for the victory!

Winner: CM Punk

Post-Match, Daniel Bryan attacks CM Punk then hits Randy Orton with a ladder.

Daniel Bryan climbs the ladder.

Daniel Bryan pulls down the Money In The Bank Briefcase then chants “YES!”

So That Happened:

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