So That Happened: 05/20/13

RAW begins with…an ambulance?

Ryback gets out of the ambulance.

Ryback tells the WWE Universe that his Last Man Standing match with John Cena at Extreme Rules was ruled a “No Contest.” Ryback says John Cena may have walked away with the WWE Championship, but he didn’t walk away, he was carried away.

Ryback brings up that John Cena refused to be put in an ambulance but guarantees next time, Cena won’t refuse. Ryback claims he’s not standing out here on an ambulance to look cool, he’s on the ambulance to challenge John Cena at WWE Payback in an Ambulance Match.

Ryback guarantees that he’ll throw John Cena in the back of an ambulance and to the medical facility just like the WWE Universe, who is “eventually going.” Ryback goes on a tirade on the WWE Universe and claims they’re fat, pathetic weak weak WEAK people of society who will eventually go to the morgue and claims that he has nothing in common with the WWE Universe.

Ryback says that the WWE Universe has nothing in common with John Cena. Ryback says they know nothing about nutrition, education and that at Payback he will take all of us to the morgue with John Cena.

Ryback says that there is only one fact in life and that it’s “Ryback Rules!”

Match 01: Fandango and Wade Barrett vs. Chris Jericho and The Miz

Wade Barrett comes out with new music!

During the match, Fandango leaves the ring then starts dancing with Summer Rae.

Wade Barrett gets destroyed by The Miz and Chris Jericho.

Winners: Chris Jericho and The Miz

Chris Jericho and The Miz stare at Fandango and Summer Rae then leave the ring.

Fandango runs for his life knocking down a fan!

Chris Jericho and Summer Rae share a moment and get closer. Jericho takes Summer Rae’s hand then spins her into his arms and dips her. Jericho almost kisses her but he laughs, gives her the hand then walks off.

Vickie Guerrero walks out and decides that Jack Swagger will compete in a match and anyone who downloaded the WWE App will get to choose his opponent:

The choices are: The Great Khali, R-Truth, or Randy Orton

Backstage: Daniel Bryan is upset when Kane walks up to him and asks if he’s ready. Bryan says it finally hit him that neither he nor Kane are “The Tag Team Champions.” Kane tells Bryan that the negativity is not productive. Bryan calls Kane out on his “Embrace The Hate” campaign then says he feels naked without the titles. Kane brings up the fact that Bryan wears no shirt or pants. Bryan asks Kane how he can make jokes and Kane responds that he’s confident and Daniel Bryan should be too. Kane tries to tell Daniel Bryan that he can’t show any weakness but Daniel Bryan and Kane get into an argument until Kofi Kingston separates them. Bryan tells his teammates he’ll see them out there then walks off.

Match 02: Sheamus vs. Titus O’Neil

Titus O’Neil actually gets some solid offense in!

Winner: Sheamus

Paul Heyman Reaveals The Newest Paul Heyman Guy:

Paul Heyman says when it’s a Paul Heyman guy that exposes your heroes, he gets all the boos then encourage the boos. Heyman asks the WWE Universe what it feels like to be powerless then reminds the fans about Brock Lesnar defeating Triple H at Extreme Rules then reminds everyone that Triple H will go down in history as a loser.

Paul Heyman says Brock Lesnar fulfilled his obligations and wonders what he’s going to talk about now. Heyman says it’s time for something new and different. Heyman claims that it’s a Sportscenter/Youtube clip moment and that we’re all here tonight to witness history. Heyman introduces his newest Paul Heyman Guy…The former Michael McGillicutty, Curt Axel?!

Curtis Axel’s music is a remix of Mr. Perfect’s theme.

Paul Heyman hypes up Curtis Axel saying that the WWE Universe proved him right again with the reaction. Heyman claims Brock Lesnar and CM Punk got the same reactions when he first debuted them. Heyman continues to hype up Curtis Axel until Triple H interrupts.

Triple H tells Paul Heyman that he can whip up a batch of Koolaid until Curtis Axel interrupts him. Triple H tells Axel that the adults are having a conversation.

Triple H calls Paul Heyman on claiming Triple H was embarrassed. Triple H says he went to war with Brock Lesnar and although Lesnar beat him, he didn’t walk away. He limped away. Triple H tells Paul Heyman that he’s going to beat the ever living crap out of him just to make himself happy and because he can. Curtis Axel gets in Triple H’s face then tells him that The Game around here has changed and if Triple H wants to talk to Heyman, he needs to talk to Axel first. Triple H slaps Axel down.

Triple H says he changed his mind and that he’s going to have a match tonight with Curtis Axel and says when he’s done kicking Axel’s ass, he’s going to kick Paul Heyman’s.

Match 03: Alberto Del Rio vs. Big E. Langston

Winner: Big E. Langston

Match 04: Layla vs. AJ Lee

AJ Lee locks the Black Widow on Layla.

Winner: AJ Lee

Match 05: Cody Rhodes vs. Zack Ryder

Winner: Cody Rhodes

Ryback’s theme plays and Ryback walks out to the ring.

Ryback proceeds to destroy Zack Ryder.

Ryback carries Zack Ryder to the ambulance.

Ryback throws Zack Ryder in the ambulance and it drives out of the arena.

Match 06: The Shield vs. Kofi and Team Hell No

Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns introduce themselves then Dean Ambrose calls them the Tag Team Champions. Ambrose says he’s the U.S. Champion and that The Shield brought the power back to these titles. Ambrose says Kofi and Team Hell No didn’t believe but they do now. Ambrose brings up The Rock, The Undertaker, Ryback and John Cena and says they broke them all down because they don’t believe in The Shield. Ambrose says that all of the WWE Universe’s Heroes go down by the “Swift Arm Of Justice.”

Seth Rollins says that he heard that “Justice Is Blind” but after last week Justice Can See Just fine. Rollins tells the WWE Universe can now see what a cohesive unit looks like and that The Shield is unbreakable. Rollins calls The Shield the future then says it’s just the beginning.

Roman Reigns adds on by saying that the ending stays the same: You put people in front of The Shield and The Shield knocks them out. Reigns claims The Hounds Of Justice run the yard and carry the collars to back it up. Ambrose says the fire of justice is burning bright and they are to blame then ends his speech with “Believe In The Shield.”

Kane’s Explosion startles The Shield.

The match is incredible!

Roman Reigns hits a spear on Kane for the win.

Winner: The Shield

Backstage: The trainer tells Triple H that he doesn’t get ready to compete. Triple H threatens to fire the doctor.

Backstage: Kaitlyn tells Natalya that she has her secret admirer’s phone number. Natalya asks Kaitlyn if she tried calling the number. Kaitlyn tells Natalya she did but he didn’t pick up and there was no voicemail. Natalya tries to get The Great Khali to snoop around, but Kaitlyn stops her then notices Cody Rhodes walking by and texting. Natalya and Kaitlyn whisper about Cody being the secret admirer until Cody Rhodes notices them and asks if there’s something wrong with his lovestache. Natalya grabs Cody and Kaitlyn steals his phone only to find out that not only is Cody Rhodes NOT the secret admirer, but he’s also posting pictures of himself on the internet.

Match 07: Jack Swagger vs. Randy Orton

Randy Orton hits the RKO

Winner: Randy Orton

Match 08: Triple H vs. Curtis Axel

During the match, Triple H gets weak. Triple H leaves the ring then sits down in a chair.

Triple H drinks a water, douses it on himself, then tries to get back in the ring but can’t.

Triple H collapses as Doctors try to check on him but he refuses.

Winner: No Contest

RAW ends with Triple H being checked on by Doctors while the crowd chants “Triple H.”

So That Happened:

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