So That Happened: 12/03/12

Kane calls out The Shield who’s in the crowd. Kane calls them out on fighting for injustice. Kane tells The Shield to come down and he’ll give them something to fight about. The Shield refuses to do anything as the crowd chants “You Suck!”

Match 01: Daniel Bryan and Kane vs. The Prime Time Players

The Prime Time Players have new music

Throughout the match, The Shield is slowly making their way towards the ring.

Winners: Team Hell No

Post-Match, The Shield jumps Daniel Bryan and Kane.

Backstage: John Cena and Sheamus are trading jokes. Cena says something about having a giraffe. Sheamus thanks Cena for being on Smackdown. Cena says it was a win-win for him, then Sheamus goes on an unfunny tangent. Cena and Sheamus go over strategy for their match against Dolph Ziggler and Big Show, while poking light at Sheamus’ alcoholism.

Match 02: AJ Lee vs. Tamina Snuka

Loud AJ chants break out.

Winner: AJ Lee

CM Punk walks down to the ring.

CM Punk/Paul Heyman Promo Paul Heyman introduces himself then tells a story of him taking the new WWE Encyclopedia from his children with him on the road today. Heyman says he doesn’t like the book because there’s not nearly enough about the reigning and defending WWE Champion, CM Punk.

Paul Heyman says that the interesting fact in this encyclopedia was John Cena’s 380 day Title Reign. Heyman tells us that at midnight, CM Punk will tie then surpass John Cena’s title reign, making Punk the longest reigning WWE Champion in the past 25 years. Heyman says now that the WWE Universe can’t argue with him. CM Punk is Best In The World and that Punk should front and center on WWE’s Mount Rushmore.

CM Punk says despite this, he stands before the WWE Universe still unfairly persecuted. Punk says he’s proven for a year that he’s the Best In The World and that’s not a slogan you put on a t-shirt, that’s a fact. Punk says if there was a WWE Mount Rushmore, the face that would go above Hulk Hogan, The Rock, Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Undertaker’s would be his.

CM Punk bashes the crowd for still treating him with disrespect, then mentions another fact. He defeated Ryback at Hell In A Cell, then John Cena AND Ryback, then complains about having to defend his WWE Championship in a TLC Championship against Ryback again. CM Punk blames the WWE Universe for this then points out that he’s held the WWE Champion longer than some people in the crowd have held a job or a marriage. CM Punk goes through all of the “reasons” why the WWE Universe thinks he’s a WWE Universe (Paul Heyman, Brad Maddox and The Shield)

CM Punk says those are all lies and that the truth is CM Punk is the reason Greensborough bought a ticket tonight. Punk says if it wasn’t for him, the WWE Universe would have nothing to look forward on these dismal Monday Night RAWs. Punk reiterates one more time that he has nothing to do with Brad Maddox and The Shield, but he has everything to do with being WWE Champion.

CM Punk tells the WWE Universe to put their money where their mouth is and change the channel if they don’t like it, then tells the crowd to leave if they don’t like him as WWE Champion.

The Miz’s theme music hits and he comes out to interrupt CM Punk, The Miz hits CM Punk with his “REALLY?” spam then tells the WWE Universe to sit down and enjoy themselves.

The Miz tells CM Punk that nobody believes him. Punk asks Miz who does he think he is interrupting him, then Miz goes into “Who Am I?” spam mode. Miz says he’s the guy who cheated, scammed and took every shortcut possible when he was WWE Champion, but at least he admits it.

The Miz calls CM Punk out on Brad Maddox and The Shield helping him at Hell In A Cell and Survivor Series, then the next night on RAW. Punk tells “Mike” that if he wants to be proven wrong, all he has to do is march down to the ring in his Gucci shoes and CM Punk will put his knee to Miz’s face and put him to sleep. The Miz corrects CM Punk by telling him that his shoes are Louboutins.

3MB Social Media Ambassador for this week: Former WWE Diva Maryse:

The Miz says proving Punk’s credibility is exactly why he came out here. Miz says he and Punk don’t need to fight or wrestle because they can do that anytime. Instead, Miz has the brilliant idea to invite CM Punk on MizTV to take a….wait for it….Lie Detector Test.

Paul Heyman questions The Miz’s proposal when Miz knows how CM Punk feels about Miz behind the scenes. The Miz mocks Paul Heyman’s tone of voice then calls Paul Heyman a “Human Walrus.” CM Punk mouths “That’s a John Cena line” while The Miz tells Paul Heyman if he wanted him to talk, he would throw Heyman a fish. A “Walrus” chant breaks out. CM Punk tells the WWE Universe to apoligze. Miz apologizes then says Paul Heyman is a really BIG Walrus.

The Miz tells CM Punk that the Lie Detector Test is exactly what he wants and tells CM Punk to bring his best “Pipe Bomb.” Miz says he’s giving Punk exactly what he wants: A chance to clear his name, cement his legacy and shove it in everyone’s faces that he’s the Best In The World. Miz calls CM Punk out on being afraid of the truth and that he might be okay with walking around with an asterisk on his name. CM Punk agrees to the Lie Detector test, then says once he passes, Miz and the rest of the world will have to admit that CM Punk is the Best In The World.

Match 03: John Cena and Sheamus vs. Big Show and Dolph Ziggler.

Winner: John Cena and Sheamus

Tribute To The Troops Commercial feat. Flo-Rida and Miss Piggy

Damien Sandow Searches For An Apprentice:

Damien Sandow picks an ignoramus in an R-Truth shirt as a potential prospect.

Damien Sandow asks R-Truth Guy 3 Questions: What’s the chemical for H2O, Who the 1st President of the United States was, and what English poet wrote, “Much have I traveled in the land of gold.” R-Truth Guy gets the first two right, but not the 3rd. The answer was John Keats.

R-Truth Guy is NOT the apprentice, but he wins the Idiot Of The Day Award, plus a parting quote from Damien Sandow: “Ignorance is curable, but stupid is forever.” Sandow banishes R-Truth fan from the ring.

Damien Sandow is interrupted by Santino Marella, who isn’t power walking! Santino asks Damien Sandow, “How many she seashells does she sell Seashell by the Seashore?” Sandow is offended that Santino is interrupting his quest to ask about crustaceans, but Sandow tells Santino the answer is a Bivalve.  Santino says  the correct answer is a conk shell. Santino tries to bonk Sandow on the head, but Sandow hits Santino first.

Match 04: Damien Sandow vs. Santino Marella

Winner: Damien Sandow

Backstage: Dolph Ziggler is complaining to Vickie Guerrero, saying Big Show only cares about himself. Vickie tells Dolph she’s starting to lose faith in him. Ziggler reassures that he can beat John Cena and look good for it, then asks for a rematch at the TLC PPV. Vickie tells Ziggler, “Go show them, baby.” Dolph almost hugs Vickie Guerrero but she stops him. Ziggler tells Vickie someone’s in her office then walks off. Vickie walks back into her office then asks the mystery person who they think they are.

The Mystery Person Is…

Backstage: Vickie Guerrero is pissed Brad “#HeartthrobRef” Maddox is here. HTR says he’s here to make sure no one ever forgets the name…”#HeartthrobRef” HTR tries to get a contract back in the WWE by buttering up Vickie Guerrero. Not literally. HTR says if you put his face on RAW, it goes from Good TV to Great TV. Vickie gives Brad Maddox a match tonight and if he wins he gets a WWE contract. HTR asks who his opponent is, but Vickie says he’ll find out when he gets there. Vickie promises the match will be “Great TV.”

Match 05: Sin Cara vs. Alberto Del Rio

Sin Cara hits a scary looking hurricanrana

Winner: Alberto Del Rio

Mr. McMahon’s Rare Appearance:

Vickie Guerrero comes out and gives Mr. McMahon a great introduction. McMahon comes out to a standing/bowing ovation.

Vickie says Mr. McMahon looks handsome tonight. McMahon returns the compliment by saying she looks almost “semi-comely.” McMahon questions Vickie Guerrero’s TLC Matches, but Vickie cuts him off suggesting a match between John Cena and Dolph Ziggler. Vickie tells Mr. McMahon that it would be “epic.” McMahon is confused by the term epic.

Mr. McMahon tells Vickie Guerrero that the match needs a stipulation. Vickie proposes Cena vs. Ziggler in a No DQ match. McMahon tells Vickie to try a lot harder then forces her to think of a new one on the spot. McMahon mentions ladder match to her and Vickie Guerrero freaks out. Vickie says that a ladder match is not plausible since neither John Cena and Dolph Ziggler aren’t champions. McMahon suggests putting the Money In The Bank briefcase on the line.

Vickie Guerrero says it’s not fair to Dolph Ziggler, but Mr. McMahon says putting Cena and the WWE Universe through the whole AJ scandal wasn’t fair either. McMahon suggests that Vickie Guerrero owes them more than an apology like making this match official. Vickie Guerrero reluctantly makes John Cena vs. Dolph Ziggler in a Ladder Match at TLC.

Vickie Guerrero tries to dismiss Mr. McMahon, but McMahon cuts her off. McMahon brings up the Lie Detector Test. McMahon tells Vickie Guerrero what if CM Punk was proven to be a liar then suggests action taking towards CM Punk because “No one likes a liar.” McMahon asks what CM Punk’s punishment would be? McMahon encourages Vickie Guerrero to make the match Paul Heyman vs. Ryback next week (If CM Punk is lying.) McMahon congratulates Vickie and tries to get the crowd to cheer for her idea, but it fails.

Match 06: Brad Maddox vs. Randy Orton

Winner: Randy Orton 

Post-Match, The Shield attack Randy Orton.

Backstage: Vickie Guerrero is screaming at Charles Robinson. Vickie tells Robinson to tell Mr. McMahon that she’s not involved with the shield. Robinson runs off as Dolph Ziggler walks up. Ziggler freaks out about defending the Money in The Bank against John Cena then reminds Vickie about AJ making him defend his MITB against Chris Jericho.

Vickie tells Ziggler that he wanted this match and that Mr. McMahon was standing right next to her. Ziggler tells Vickie that he thought they were on the same page, but they’re not. Ziggler accuses Vickie Guerrero of being just like AJ Lee: A selfish, power hungry, amateur. Dolph Ziggler walks out as Paul Heyman walks up. Paul Heyman and Vickie Guerrero proceed to have the most awkward staring contest since Cody Rhodes/Manu/Randy Orton. Vickie Guerrero tells Paul Heyman that for his sake, he better hope CM Punk is telling the truth. Heyman smirks then walks off.

But the fun doesn’t stop there. John Cena KNOCKS on the door then walks up to Vickie Guerrero. Cena tells Vickie Guerrero that someone wanted to see him. Cena makes a joke about going on 2 dates with Vickie Guerrero then it being a bigger disaster than Dolph Ziggler forgetting about the Five Moves of Doom. Cena says Vickie Guerrero actually made a great match then thanks Vickie. Vickie glares but Cena says he has a look of his own. Cena reminds Vickie about him being the only guy to cash in the Money In The Bank and lose, and that this time, he won’t make the same mistake again. Cena thanks Vickie one more time and tries to walk off.

Vickie Guerrero stops John Cena to tell him about some matching bowties PA’s found in AJ Lee’s locker. Vickie says she doesn’t like Cena, but she wants to warn him that AJ gets obsessed over everything. Vickie calls it pathetic, but Cena says that the pathetic thing is that the bowties are a wrong color and a hack job.

Cena says that Vickie has wasted everyone’s time with lies for weeks. Cena says Vickie can’t leave well enough alone. Vickie tells Cena that if he can’t learn from his past, history will keep repeating itself.

Match 07: Antonio Cesaro and Wade Barrett vs. Kofi Kingston and R-Truth

Teddy Long’s music hits and Teddy Long comes out. Teddy says that since Vickie Guerrero, Mr. McMahon and Booker T are pre-occupied and since Mr. McMahon wants to shake things up, Teddy Long is making this match a Fatal-4-Way Championship Match

Courtesy of Wrestling_Memes

As for which championship is defended, Teddy Long says the WWE Universe will decide via #RAWActive Poll.

The winner of the #RAWActive Poll is…

Match 07: Antonio Cesar vs. Kofi Kingston vs. R-Truth vs. Wade Barrett for the U.S. Championship

Antonio Cesaro kills Kofi Kingston

Courtesy of beautifulbryan

Kofi Kingston hits the Trouble In Paradise on Wade Barrett. Kofi almost gets a 3 count but Antonio Cesaro lifts him off of Barrett then hits the Neutralizer.

Winner: Antonio Cesaro

MizTV: CM Punk’s Lie Detector Test

The Miz introduces Fredrick Abramson, of the “Guilford” (It’s Gilford) County Sherriff’s Department. The Miz fails. The Miz calls CM Punk out on his excuses and his affiliations with Brad Maddox, and The Shield. The Miz introduces CM Punk.

The Miz welcomes CM Punk to MizTV then tells him to let Mr. Abramson strap him in. CM Punk stops Miz from explaining the lie detector test. Punk trashes The Miz for sucking up to the WWE Universe then says that they should be ashamed for cheering The Miz. Punk says Miz’s title reign was completely forgettable so Miz is just trying to bring him down to his level. Miz says he wasn’t paying attention to CM Punk’s rants. CM Punk says he knows Miz wasn’t paying attention, just like Miz wasn’t paying attention in wrestling school.

CM Punk says The Miz sucks and asks if he’s lying. Miz says he doesn’t suck, but Punk’s Mom does! Miz follows it up with an “OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

The Miz reminds CM Punk of the stipulation that if Punk is lying, Paul Heyman has to face Ryback next week. Miz asks CM Punk what his name is, asks if he’s been WWE Champion for 379 Days, if Rey Mysterio shaved his head bald, if he lost to Randy Orton at Wrestlemania 27. Punk answers them all truthfully then mocks The Miz for having The Rock help him win and getting a concussion at Wrestlemania. Miz calms Punk down and tells him that he wouldn’t want a faulty reading, then makes another walrus joke.

The Miz asks CM Punk if he thinks he can beat Ryback by himself. CM Punk says “Yes” and the lie detector test goes off. Miz says Mr. Abramson thinks he could be lying. Miz asks if CM Punk worked with Brad Maddox and The Shield then screams “ANSWER IT!” towards CM Punk. A loud “Yes!” chant breaks out.

The Shield enters the ring and attack The Miz, then destroys the MizTV set and The Miz.

Daniel Bryan and Kane hit the ring and attack The Shield, but the Numbers Game gets the best of them. A loud “FEED ME MORE” chant breaks out. Ryback’s theme plays and the crowd goes nuts.

Wreck It Ryback hurls Dean Ambrose over the top rope.

Wreck It Ryback, Daniel Byan and Kane beat The Shield all the way out of the arena. CM Punk stands up then taunts and attacks The Miz. Punk kicks The Miz out of the ring then celebrates. By the time Punk stops celebrating, Wreck It Ryback is back in the ring. Ryback hits the “Shell Shock” on CM Punk. Ryback leaves the ring then pulls out a table, ladder and chair.

Wreck It Ryback hits CM Punk with the ladder, then with the chair. Ryback grabs a table, then sets it up in the ring. CM Punk tries to crawl away but he can’t. The “FEED ME MORE” chant gets louder as Ryback grabs CM Punk, then powerbombs him through the table. Ryback puts his foot on CM Punk’s chest then chants “FEED ME MORE” with the crowd.

So That Happened:

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