We start Raw with… A tag team match? Is Teddy Long in charge?!
— little miss rainbow (@RitaHepburn) December 4, 2012
Kane calls out The Shield who’s in the crowd. Kane calls them out on fighting for injustice. Kane tells The Shield to come down and he’ll give them something to fight about. The Shield refuses to do anything as the crowd chants “You Suck!”
I seriously can smell the shampoo in Dean Ambrose’s hair!
— little miss rainbow (@RitaHepburn) December 4, 2012
Match 01: Daniel Bryan and Kane vs. The Prime Time Players
The Prime Time Players have new music
R.I.P. Prime Time Players theme. No more MOO KITTY KITTY MOO KITTY KITTY
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) December 4, 2012
WHAT!? H’WHAT IS THIS!? This is NOT the Prime Time Players theme!? I can’t get jiggy with this shit!
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) December 4, 2012
Aww the Prime Time Players changed their music. I liked Move Get it Get get it blah blah blah more. #wwe #Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) December 4, 2012
Kane’s been in 899 WWE matches. #LifeTimeAchievementAward
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) December 4, 2012
We should have a Kane appreciation night. Necrophilia and fire for everyone.
— Linda M (@ShayLMitchell) December 4, 2012
Throughout the match, The Shield is slowly making their way towards the ring.
Reigns, you have to move. Standing in the aisle is a fire safety hazard.
— Stan Sitwell (@TimExiled) December 4, 2012
Roman Reigns sounds like pornstar name.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) December 4, 2012
This is Wrestling’s Version of Red Light / Green Light.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) December 4, 2012
Winners: Team Hell No
Damn, Darren Young. You suck…
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) December 4, 2012
Post-Match, The Shield jumps Daniel Bryan and Kane.
@keepitfivestar twitter.com/TheMadMailman/…
— Barney (@TheMadMailman) December 4, 2012
Former indie wrestlers aren’t supposed to attack other former indie wrestlers!
— Bill S. Preston, Esq (@Miss_Dani_Baby) December 4, 2012
The Shield is kickin’ the SHIT outta those steps.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) December 4, 2012
I could watch The Shield attack people for 3 hours.
— Bobby (@SunnyDewhite) December 4, 2012
The Shield are clearly working for Harold.
— little miss rainbow (@RitaHepburn) December 4, 2012
This team powerbomb is going places.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) December 4, 2012
This makes sense. Daniel Bryan having to team with Kane for this long is an injustice.
— Stan Sitwell (@TimExiled) December 4, 2012
The Undertaker would’ve saved Kane, but now that he has a new baby, Kane can only bother Taker if the problem is an 8 or higher.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) December 4, 2012
Samuel L. Jackson will be revealed as the Leader of The Shield on RAW. Sam Jackson doesn’t turn down anything.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) December 4, 2012
I’m still stunned by how bad Darren Young lost.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) December 4, 2012
Backstage: John Cena and Sheamus are trading jokes. Cena says something about having a giraffe. Sheamus thanks Cena for being on Smackdown. Cena says it was a win-win for him, then Sheamus goes on an unfunny tangent. Cena and Sheamus go over strategy for their match against Dolph Ziggler and Big Show, while poking light at Sheamus’ alcoholism.
John Cena and Sheamus are out corny-ing each other.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) December 4, 2012
John Cena Has Giraffe Money?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) December 4, 2012
Cena has a giraffe?
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) December 4, 2012
Match 02: AJ Lee vs. Tamina Snuka
AJ WRESTLING!…
— Chris Riddle (@ChrisRiddle) December 4, 2012
AJ coming to the ring to slaughter a chick. #wwe #Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) December 4, 2012
Tamina Snuka is almost unrecognizable outside of her Bacon Inspired Attire
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) December 4, 2012
I dunno this is like kicking a small child around.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) December 4, 2012
Tamina, Streak hair, Tamina Pretty, After Match, Snoo Snoo.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) December 4, 2012
Loud AJ chants break out.
WOW, AJ is SO OVER. I love it.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) December 4, 2012
“AJ had a hard life. She grew up in cars and food banks. Had stick with a handkerchief attached to it. Ate beans by a fire” – Michael Cole
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) December 4, 2012
Oh damn, That headbutt was awesome.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) December 4, 2012
I’m Legit Scared for AJ Right Now. That was a Snuka Headbutt.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) December 4, 2012
Winner: AJ Lee
WWE Diva’s match ending.
— Stan Sitwell (@TimExiled) December 4, 2012
The Curse Of The Roll Up has been passed on to Tamina!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) December 4, 2012
AJ’s Been Hanging Around The Best for the Past Year. You Don’t Think She Learned a Rollup From Daniel Bryan or CM Punk?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) December 4, 2012
CM Punk walks down to the ring.
CM Punk with the “I know my shirt is ugly” face.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) December 4, 2012
CM Punk/Paul Heyman Promo Paul Heyman introduces himself then tells a story of him taking the new WWE Encyclopedia from his children with him on the road today. Heyman says he doesn’t like the book because there’s not nearly enough about the reigning and defending WWE Champion, CM Punk.
Paul Heyman has children? Heyman can procreate?
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) December 4, 2012
I Thought Paul Heyman Was Going to Complain About ECW Footnote In the WWE Encyclopedia: “ECW was a Thing That Happened But Then Went Away”
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) December 4, 2012
Heyman shouting out Hanukkah..what about.Kwanzaa Paul E? #WWE
— Toto Puwatso(@WellYoureWrong) December 4, 2012
Paul Heyman says that the interesting fact in this encyclopedia was John Cena’s 380 day Title Reign. Heyman tells us that at midnight, CM Punk will tie then surpass John Cena’s title reign, making Punk the longest reigning WWE Champion in the past 25 years. Heyman says now that the WWE Universe can’t argue with him. CM Punk is Best In The World and that Punk should front and center on WWE’s Mount Rushmore.
One Accomplishment Of CM Punk’s: He Had Such a High Score On the Walking Dead Videogame, It Crashed. He Brought Back Kill Screens!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) December 4, 2012
Heyman just wants kids to read. stop booing him. #literacyiskeen #wwe
— Toto Puwatso(@WellYoureWrong) December 4, 2012
CM Punk says despite this, he stands before the WWE Universe still unfairly persecuted. Punk says he’s proven for a year that he’s the Best In The World and that’s not a slogan you put on a t-shirt, that’s a fact. Punk says if there was a WWE Mount Rushmore, the face that would go above Hulk Hogan, The Rock, Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Undertaker’s would be his.
If There Was a Mt. Rushmore For the WWE, the Irony is That All The Faces On It Don’t Like to Put Anyone Over.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) December 4, 2012
CM Punk bashes the crowd for still treating him with disrespect, then mentions another fact. He defeated Ryback at Hell In A Cell, then John Cena AND Ryback, then complains about having to defend his WWE Championship in a TLC Championship against Ryback again. CM Punk blames the WWE Universe for this then points out that he’s held the WWE Champion longer than some people in the crowd have held a job or a marriage. CM Punk goes through all of the “reasons” why the WWE Universe thinks he’s a WWE Universe (Paul Heyman, Brad Maddox and The Shield)
You Can Put a Chair in The Ryback’s Hand But CM Punk is Friends With Merle. He Has a Knife for a Hand! #TheWalkingHungry
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) December 4, 2012
CM Punk says those are all lies and that the truth is CM Punk is the reason Greensborough bought a ticket tonight. Punk says if it wasn’t for him, the WWE Universe would have nothing to look forward on these dismal Monday Night RAWs. Punk reiterates one more time that he has nothing to do with Brad Maddox and The Shield, but he has everything to do with being WWE Champion.
Anyone else feel like CM Punk has run out of things to talk about? #wwe #Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) December 4, 2012
CM Punk tells the WWE Universe to put their money where their mouth is and change the channel if they don’t like it, then tells the crowd to leave if they don’t like him as WWE Champion.
Everyone should actually start to leave.
— Linda M (@ShayLMitchell) December 4, 2012
CM Punk, Please DO NOT USE The Phrase “Asses in Seats.” It Has an Unexpected Effect on People.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) December 4, 2012
The Miz’s theme music hits and he comes out to interrupt CM Punk, The Miz hits CM Punk with his “REALLY?” spam then tells the WWE Universe to sit down and enjoy themselves.
It’s Weekend Update with Seth Myers and The Miz.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) December 4, 2012
#FaceMiz
— little miss rainbow (@RitaHepburn) December 4, 2012
#FaceMiz is here to be a good guy. Miz clearly saw Wreck It Ralph
— Toto Puwatso(@WellYoureWrong) December 4, 2012
If CM Punk Telling Everybody to Leave Didn’t Work, The Miz Coming Out to Talk Will DEFINITELY Get the Job Done!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) December 4, 2012
The Miz tells CM Punk that nobody believes him. Punk asks Miz who does he think he is interrupting him, then Miz goes into “Who Am I?” spam mode. Miz says he’s the guy who cheated, scammed and took every shortcut possible when he was WWE Champion, but at least he admits it.
CM Punk Has the Shield and Is WWE Champion for 379 Days. The Miz Had Alex Riley and Was WWE Champion for 160 Days. CM Punk Wins.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) December 4, 2012
The Miz calls CM Punk out on Brad Maddox and The Shield helping him at Hell In A Cell and Survivor Series, then the next night on RAW. Punk tells “Mike” that if he wants to be proven wrong, all he has to do is march down to the ring in his Gucci shoes and CM Punk will put his knee to Miz’s face and put him to sleep. The Miz corrects CM Punk by telling him that his shoes are Louboutins.
I’m sad I know what Louboutins are #RAW
— Toto Puwatso(@WellYoureWrong) December 4, 2012
Judging by Maryse’s tweet she bought him those shoes.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) December 4, 2012
3MB Social Media Ambassador for this week: Former WWE Diva Maryse:
#LOUBOUTIN
— MARYSE OUELLET (@maryse0uellet) December 4, 2012
The Miz says proving Punk’s credibility is exactly why he came out here. Miz says he and Punk don’t need to fight or wrestle because they can do that anytime. Instead, Miz has the brilliant idea to invite CM Punk on MizTV to take a….wait for it….Lie Detector Test.
Or You Could Wrestle!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) December 4, 2012
Miz. No one wants to see this. You must have had an extremely boring day.
— Stan Sitwell (@TimExiled) December 4, 2012
Fucking Miz, He must of seen that one Seinfeld episode with the Lie Detector. #RAW
— Toto Puwatso(@WellYoureWrong) December 4, 2012
“Yeah! My baby’s gonna wrestle the WWE Champion, CM Pun-wait. Lie Detector Test?! >.< Sacre Bleu" – Maryse
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) December 4, 2012
If a Lie Detector Test Couldn’t Tell The Difference Between Mr. America and Hulk Hogan, then CM Punk has NOTHING to Worry About.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) December 4, 2012
Paul Heyman questions The Miz’s proposal when Miz knows how CM Punk feels about Miz behind the scenes. The Miz mocks Paul Heyman’s tone of voice then calls Paul Heyman a “Human Walrus.” CM Punk mouths “That’s a John Cena line” while The Miz tells Paul Heyman if he wanted him to talk, he would throw Heyman a fish. A “Walrus” chant breaks out. CM Punk tells the WWE Universe to apoligze. Miz apologizes then says Paul Heyman is a really BIG Walrus.
LOL at Punk mouthing “That’s a John Cena line”. #itwas
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) December 4, 2012
Awful jokes = cementing your faceness.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) December 4, 2012
Guess The Miz has been studying Y2J tapes again. The off days of Y2J…
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) December 4, 2012
The Miz tells CM Punk that the Lie Detector Test is exactly what he wants and tells CM Punk to bring his best “Pipe Bomb.” Miz says he’s giving Punk exactly what he wants: A chance to clear his name, cement his legacy and shove it in everyone’s faces that he’s the Best In The World. Miz calls CM Punk out on being afraid of the truth and that he might be okay with walking around with an asterisk on his name. CM Punk agrees to the Lie Detector test, then says once he passes, Miz and the rest of the world will have to admit that CM Punk is the Best In The World.
Only in WWE are the baby faces immature and unfunny and the heels are brilliant. #Raw #ThingsThatOnlyMakeSenseToVince
— Victoria (@prettyheartless) December 4, 2012
@yourboydrew or those Real World/Road Rules challenges
— Bill S. Preston, Esq (@Miss_Dani_Baby) December 4, 2012
Match 03: John Cena and Sheamus vs. Big Show and Dolph Ziggler.
Somehow Dating AJ Has Made CM Punk a More Observant Person! He Noticed Stu’s Mustache.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) December 4, 2012
John Cena ASKS his BFF, Stu The Cameraman, if he’s doing okay then tells him to remove his Movember Mustache! The TEAM IS BACK! #StuAndCena
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) December 4, 2012
Sheamus tried talking to Stu the Camera man, and by talking; I mean he brouge kicked him. Because Sheamus is douchey like that.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) December 4, 2012
#ZiggleWiggle
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) December 4, 2012
Fun Fact: “Stealing The Show and your Girlfriend” is also the catchphrase of Bowser from Super Mario Brothers.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) December 4, 2012
Heh, What If Dolph Ziggler cashes in on Big Show tonight?
— Toto Puwatso(@WellYoureWrong) December 4, 2012
I miss Mark Henry. #wwe #raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) December 4, 2012
Remember when Big Show threw Cena into a spot light? All together in his career, Big Show has 2 cumulative mins of cool moments.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) December 4, 2012
I Really Want Antonio Cesaro to Show Up Out of Nowhere and Uppercut Sheamus. Everyday.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) December 4, 2012
Sheamus thought he would bounce off of Big Show like a trampoline. He thought wrong.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) December 4, 2012
I miss Mason Ryan. Just kidding. #wwe #Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) December 4, 2012
I was really expecting Ziggler’s tan to rub off on Sheamus. It would have been so funny. #Raw
— Victoria (@prettyheartless) December 4, 2012
The simultaneous AA and White Noise was coo’.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) December 4, 2012
Winner: John Cena and Sheamus
Why does John Cena do the Howard Dean/Chappelle’s Show “BIYAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” after winning a match now?
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) December 4, 2012
@3manbooth “Did We Just Become Best Friends?!” – John Cena”Yup, Fella!” – Sheamus
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) December 4, 2012
Is it 10:54 already?
— David Shoemaker (@AKATheMaskedMan) December 4, 2012
Tribute To The Troops Commercial feat. Flo-Rida and Miss Piggy
MUPPETS! …Flo-rida… shit.
— Bill S. Preston, Esq (@Miss_Dani_Baby) December 4, 2012
Does Flo Rida No Longer Have Sleeves? Is It Because Florida’s So Humid?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) December 4, 2012
Damien Sandow Searches For An Apprentice:
SANDOW~! #RAW
— Toto Puwatso(@WellYoureWrong) December 4, 2012
Hallelujah. #Raw #swoon
— Victoria (@prettyheartless) December 4, 2012
Damien Sandow picks an ignoramus in an R-Truth shirt as a potential prospect.
This dude is a R Truth fan. He’s dumb!
— little miss rainbow (@RitaHepburn) December 4, 2012
That First Guy Looked Like “Brock Lesnar Fan” Jr. What Would “Damien Sandow Fan” Look Like?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) December 4, 2012
Damien Sandow asks R-Truth Guy 3 Questions: What’s the chemical for H2O, Who the 1st President of the United States was, and what English poet wrote, “Much have I traveled in the land of gold.” R-Truth Guy gets the first two right, but not the 3rd. The answer was John Keats.
Trick Question: The Answer’s Wrestling.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) December 4, 2012
R-Truth Guy is NOT the apprentice, but he wins the Idiot Of The Day Award, plus a parting quote from Damien Sandow: “Ignorance is curable, but stupid is forever.” Sandow banishes R-Truth fan from the ring.
In addition to wanting to watch The Shield beat people up for three hours, I could also listen to Damien Sandow speak for it as well.
— Bobby (@SunnyDewhite) December 4, 2012
“Are You Smarter Than Sandow” coming this season!
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) December 4, 2012
Damien Sandow is interrupted by Santino Marella, who isn’t power walking! Santino asks Damien Sandow, “How many she seashells does she sell Seashell by the Seashore?” Sandow is offended that Santino is interrupting his quest to ask about crustaceans, but Sandow tells Santino the answer is a Bivalve. Santino says the correct answer is a conk shell. Santino tries to bonk Sandow on the head, but Sandow hits Santino first.
@keepitfivestar Saw a kid on the street about to tell a knock-knock joke the other day. Sandow ran up and clocked him.
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) December 4, 2012
Match 04: Damien Sandow vs. Santino Marella
Santino deserves a beat down for telling that lame joke. #wwe #Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) December 4, 2012
Winner: Damien Sandow
Did Santino actually think he was going to win this one?
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) December 4, 2012
Backstage: Dolph Ziggler is complaining to Vickie Guerrero, saying Big Show only cares about himself. Vickie tells Dolph she’s starting to lose faith in him. Ziggler reassures that he can beat John Cena and look good for it, then asks for a rematch at the TLC PPV. Vickie tells Ziggler, “Go show them, baby.” Dolph almost hugs Vickie Guerrero but she stops him. Ziggler tells Vickie someone’s in her office then walks off. Vickie walks back into her office then asks the mystery person who they think they are.
The Mystery Person Is…
DREAM MACHINE BRAD MADDOX!
— Toto Puwatso(@WellYoureWrong) December 4, 2012
#heartthrobref is back.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) December 4, 2012
The #HeartthrobRef has returned! Do you hear that? That’s the sound of ovaries exploding.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) December 4, 2012
Hey #HeartthrobRef is Back! I Didn’t Know Dr. James Andrews Also Did Reconstructive Surgery!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) December 4, 2012
Maddox is reminding me of Dennis from it’s always sunny. He should do a gimmick like that. That’d be GREAT.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) December 4, 2012
Backstage: Vickie Guerrero is pissed Brad “#HeartthrobRef” Maddox is here. HTR says he’s here to make sure no one ever forgets the name…”#HeartthrobRef” HTR tries to get a contract back in the WWE by buttering up Vickie Guerrero. Not literally. HTR says if you put his face on RAW, it goes from Good TV to Great TV. Vickie gives Brad Maddox a match tonight and if he wins he gets a WWE contract. HTR asks who his opponent is, but Vickie says he’ll find out when he gets there. Vickie promises the match will be “Great TV.”
#HeartthrobRef versus Zack Ryder? It’s the Battle of the YouTube Sensations!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) December 4, 2012
Match 05: Sin Cara vs. Alberto Del Rio
Hey! Blue Sin Cara’s back!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) December 4, 2012
Sin Cara Came Out First On Purpose. Last Time on RAW, Del Rio Kicked the Mood Lighting Off using Sin Cara’s Face as the Light Switch.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) December 4, 2012
Nice for El Local to accompany ADR to the ring.
— Toto Puwatso(@WellYoureWrong) December 4, 2012
Sin Cara hits a scary looking hurricanrana
Don’t Hurt the Talent, Sin Cara! That Means Alberto Del Rio, RicRod, Stu The Cameraman …
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) December 4, 2012
@keepitfivestar Sin Cara has a botch in his pants
— Bill S. Preston, Esq (@Miss_Dani_Baby) December 4, 2012
@wellyourewrong @miss_dani_baby He’s growing up so fast!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) December 4, 2012
Sin Cara/Alberto Del Rio are having a great freaking match. #wwe #raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) December 4, 2012
Winner: Alberto Del Rio
I enjoyed that match.
— Stan Sitwell (@TimExiled) December 4, 2012
Alberto Del Rio defeats Sin Cara. Best Sin Cara singles match Ive seen in a while. #wwe #Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) December 4, 2012
That Was a Good Match By Sin Cara #NeverBeforeNeverAgain
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) December 4, 2012
@keepitfivestar He tried wearing Sin Cara’s old pants and they ripped. It all makes sense.
— Stan Sitwell (@TimExiled) December 4, 2012
Mr. McMahon’s Rare Appearance:
Vickie Guerrero comes out and gives Mr. McMahon a great introduction. McMahon comes out to a standing/bowing ovation.
Is it 11:01 already?
— David Shoemaker (@AKATheMaskedMan) December 4, 2012
About as rare as a Rattata. “@keepitfivestar: A “rare” appearance by Mr. McMahon. This is his third one in like a month.”
— N. (@ampers_and) December 4, 2012
Vickie says Mr. McMahon looks handsome tonight. McMahon returns the compliment by saying she looks almost “semi-comely.” McMahon questions Vickie Guerrero’s TLC Matches, but Vickie cuts him off suggesting a match between John Cena and Dolph Ziggler. Vickie tells Mr. McMahon that it would be “epic.” McMahon is confused by the term epic.
Vince McMahon acquired the term “epic.”
— Stan Sitwell (@TimExiled) December 4, 2012
Mr. McMahon tells Vickie Guerrero that the match needs a stipulation. Vickie proposes Cena vs. Ziggler in a No DQ match. McMahon tells Vickie to try a lot harder then forces her to think of a new one on the spot. McMahon mentions ladder match to her and Vickie Guerrero freaks out. Vickie says that a ladder match is not plausible since neither John Cena and Dolph Ziggler aren’t champions. McMahon suggests putting the Money In The Bank briefcase on the line.
@3manbooth ha! Just wait til he gets free muffins for life. They’ll never get rid of him.
— Sarah Bennett (@Bennett_Bunch) December 4, 2012
@keepitfivestar Prepare to be freaked out: illegalforeignobject.com/2012/10/compet…
— IllegalForeignObject (@IFOWrestling) December 4, 2012
Vickie Guerrero says it’s not fair to Dolph Ziggler, but Mr. McMahon says putting Cena and the WWE Universe through the whole AJ scandal wasn’t fair either. McMahon suggests that Vickie Guerrero owes them more than an apology like making this match official. Vickie Guerrero reluctantly makes John Cena vs. Dolph Ziggler in a Ladder Match at TLC.
If Cena wins the briefcase, I quit.
— little miss rainbow (@RitaHepburn) December 4, 2012
Mr. McMahon is like one of those teachers that shows you the answer to a hard question, but embarrasses you the entire time while doing it
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) December 4, 2012
Vickie Guerrero tries to dismiss Mr. McMahon, but McMahon cuts her off. McMahon brings up the Lie Detector Test. McMahon tells Vickie Guerrero what if CM Punk was proven to be a liar then suggests action taking towards CM Punk because “No one likes a liar.” McMahon asks what CM Punk’s punishment would be? McMahon encourages Vickie Guerrero to make the match Paul Heyman vs. Ryback next week (If CM Punk is lying.) McMahon congratulates Vickie and tries to get the crowd to cheer for her idea, but it fails.
I think Vince McMahon Has Jedi Mind Powers. Except He Has to Speak Them. And Hover Over You.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) December 4, 2012
Match 06: Brad Maddox vs. Randy Orton
The “Brad Maddox Experience” is Like the “Girlfriend Experience.” Sign Up, Ladies.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) December 4, 2012
There’s some chic in the crowd, who’s screaming mimics a guitar screech.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) December 4, 2012
Oh No! #HeartthrobRef vs. Randy Orton! This is like One Direction vs. Justin Bieber! Ovaries will be at WAR! THIS IS NOT A DRILL PEOPLE!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) December 4, 2012
You Ever See Someone Get Beaten to Death and Then Resuscitated By The Same Pair of Fists? Well, You’re About To. Orton v. #HeartthrobRef
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) December 4, 2012
Winner: Randy Orton
Post-Match, The Shield attack Randy Orton.
The Shield attack Randy Orton! They’re fighting for injustice and women’s purses everywhere!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) December 4, 2012
“Bet You Wish You Had Legacy Right Now!” – The Shield to Randy Orton
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) December 4, 2012
@keepitfivestar Ted DiBiase: MasterMind. MasterChef.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) December 4, 2012
Soon we’ll find out The Shield have nothing to do with CM Punk, they’re just getting rid of Michael Chiklis’ least favorite wrestlers.#Raw
— Victoria (@prettyheartless) December 4, 2012
Backstage: Vickie Guerrero is screaming at Charles Robinson. Vickie tells Robinson to tell Mr. McMahon that she’s not involved with the shield. Robinson runs off as Dolph Ziggler walks up. Ziggler freaks out about defending the Money in The Bank against John Cena then reminds Vickie about AJ making him defend his MITB against Chris Jericho.
“This happened before! AJ put me in a match for my Money In The Bank against Chris Jericho! Remember? Remember Chris Jericho?” – Dolph
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) December 4, 2012
Vickie tells Ziggler that he wanted this match and that Mr. McMahon was standing right next to her. Ziggler tells Vickie that he thought they were on the same page, but they’re not. Ziggler accuses Vickie Guerrero of being just like AJ Lee: A selfish, power hungry, amateur. Dolph Ziggler walks out as Paul Heyman walks up. Paul Heyman and Vickie Guerrero proceed to have the most awkward staring contest since Cody Rhodes/Manu/Randy Orton. Vickie Guerrero tells Paul Heyman that for his sake, he better hope CM Punk is telling the truth. Heyman smirks then walks off.
Heyman’s pony tail is hanging on for dear life #RAW
— Toto Puwatso(@WellYoureWrong) December 4, 2012
@timexiled Heyman is A Bambi Guy
— Toto Puwatso(@WellYoureWrong) December 4, 2012
…..I kinda wanted Heyman and Vickie to just start passionately making out.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) December 4, 2012
Paul Heyman and Vickie Guerrero are gonna make out one day. And it’s gonna be the sexiest couple since Rita Repulsa and Lord Zedd.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) December 4, 2012
But the fun doesn’t stop there. John Cena KNOCKS on the door then walks up to Vickie Guerrero. Cena tells Vickie Guerrero that someone wanted to see him. Cena makes a joke about going on 2 dates with Vickie Guerrero then it being a bigger disaster than Dolph Ziggler forgetting about the Five Moves of Doom. Cena says Vickie Guerrero actually made a great match then thanks Vickie. Vickie glares but Cena says he has a look of his own. Cena reminds Vickie about him being the only guy to cash in the Money In The Bank and lose, and that this time, he won’t make the same mistake again. Cena thanks Vickie one more time and tries to walk off.
Cena’s Got a Bum Knee! How’s He Going to Climb A Ladder? You Can’t Attitude Adjust A Ladder, John!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) December 4, 2012
Vickie Guerrero stops John Cena to tell him about some matching bowties PA’s found in AJ Lee’s locker. Vickie says she doesn’t like Cena, but she wants to warn him that AJ gets obsessed over everything. Vickie calls it pathetic, but Cena says that the pathetic thing is that the bowties are a wrong color and a hack job.
“They’re the wrong color! The NEW John Cena buttons and bow ties were released on WWEShop.com weeks ago!” – John Cena
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) December 4, 2012
Cena says that Vickie has wasted everyone’s time with lies for weeks. Cena says Vickie can’t leave well enough alone. Vickie tells Cena that if he can’t learn from his past, history will keep repeating itself.
Let That Be a Lesson. Wait for The AUTHENTIC John Cena Hairbows at WWEShop, NOT Etsy.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) December 4, 2012
Match 07: Antonio Cesaro and Wade Barrett vs. Kofi Kingston and R-Truth
Teddy Long’s music hits and Teddy Long comes out. Teddy says that since Vickie Guerrero, Mr. McMahon and Booker T are pre-occupied and since Mr. McMahon wants to shake things up, Teddy Long is making this match a Fatal-4-Way Championship Match
Did Teddy Long REALLY just undo a Ta g match!?!
— Chris Riddle (@ChrisRiddle) December 4, 2012
Wait Teddy is CANCELING a tag match?! Shit the world is ending! #RAW
— Tyler Edwards (@Und3rAverageJoe) December 4, 2012
![]() |
Courtesy of Wrestling_Memes |
As for which championship is defended, Teddy Long says the WWE Universe will decide via #RAWActive Poll.
This is What Happens When Teddy Long Finishes His Crossword Early: New Ideas.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) December 4, 2012
The winner of the #RAWActive Poll is…
Match 07: Antonio Cesar vs. Kofi Kingston vs. R-Truth vs. Wade Barrett for the U.S. Championship
Who doesn’t belong? Geez, R-truth is like a child slamming the square block in the circle hole right now.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) December 4, 2012
@keepitfivestar they could put it in a briefcase and hang it above the ring.
— Linda M (@ShayLMitchell) December 4, 2012
@tholzerman @heinekenrana Haha exactly. Make it fair for everyone.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) December 4, 2012
I Still Can’t Believe Teddy Long Made a Tag Team Match Into a Fatal Four-Way. Looks Like He’s Finally Trying to Get Off Probation.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) December 4, 2012
Antonio Cesaro kills Kofi Kingston
![]() |
Courtesy of beautifulbryan |
SWISS DEATH OF DEATH #RAW
— Toto Puwatso(@WellYoureWrong) December 4, 2012
OMG! Cesaro European uppercut on Kofi just now, That was a legit street fighter counter. #YouGoinToJailNow
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) December 4, 2012
Goodnight, Kofi!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) December 4, 2012
Damn, Kofi! You got knocked the fuck out!
— Bill S. Preston, Esq (@Miss_Dani_Baby) December 4, 2012
I Really Hope That Uppercut Didn’t Knock and Sense Out of Kofi. We Don’t Want Him Teaming with R-Truth Again.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) December 4, 2012
Kofi Kingston hits the Trouble In Paradise on Wade Barrett. Kofi almost gets a 3 count but Antonio Cesaro lifts him off of Barrett then hits the Neutralizer.
LOL, That was the best pin break EVER. Cesaro is just too good, man.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) December 4, 2012
That Was An Awesome Way to Break a Pin By Cesaro! That Was Like a Rugby Scrum.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) December 4, 2012
Cesaro hit That Move! If Kofi’s not careful he’ll break out That Other Move and perhaps the dreaded Whatamaneuver #WWE #Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) December 4, 2012
Winner: Antonio Cesaro
Antonio Cesaro is the man. End of story.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) December 4, 2012
#VeryEuropean
— Bill S. Preston, Esq (@Miss_Dani_Baby) December 4, 2012
Antonio Cesaro is incredible. Like…a king of wrestling or something.
— Stan Sitwell (@TimExiled) December 4, 2012
I need to see more matches with Kofi and Cesaro. No seriously, That was just fun.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) December 4, 2012
Teddy Long tried to screw Antonio Cesaro over with this Fatal 4-Way because he’s still butt-hurt about Aksana. But Teddy failed…A-GAIN.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) December 4, 2012
MizTV: CM Punk’s Lie Detector Test
And Now Your Main Event: A Test!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) December 4, 2012
Hey @cmpunk, If you keep your heart rate under control you should be able to beat this lie detector test
— Bill S. Preston, Esq (@Miss_Dani_Baby) December 4, 2012
The Miz introduces Fredrick Abramson, of the “Guilford” (It’s Gilford) County Sherriff’s Department. The Miz fails. The Miz calls CM Punk out on his excuses and his affiliations with Brad Maddox, and The Shield. The Miz introduces CM Punk.
You come out with a cop and expect people to be all “yay, cops.”
— Stan Sitwell (@TimExiled) December 4, 2012
There was a #RAWActive Poll for what Miz would use to interrogate CM Punk. The choices were Lie Detector, Tickle Torture or Watching Whitney
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) December 4, 2012
The Miz welcomes CM Punk to MizTV then tells him to let Mr. Abramson strap him in. CM Punk stops Miz from explaining the lie detector test. Punk trashes The Miz for sucking up to the WWE Universe then says that they should be ashamed for cheering The Miz. Punk says Miz’s title reign was completely forgettable so Miz is just trying to bring him down to his level. Miz says he wasn’t paying attention to CM Punk’s rants. CM Punk says he knows Miz wasn’t paying attention, just like Miz wasn’t paying attention in wrestling school.
Damn. CM Punk does NOT like The Miz!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) December 4, 2012
Man, CM Punk Brought up Wrestling School! We All Saw Tough Enough, We KNOW He Wasn’t Paying Attention.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) December 4, 2012
CM Punk says The Miz sucks and asks if he’s lying. Miz says he doesn’t suck, but Punk’s Mom does! Miz follows it up with an “OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
THAT AIN’T PG.
— Chris Riddle (@ChrisRiddle) December 4, 2012
The Miz just did a Regular Show “OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” after his own “Your Mom” joke.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) December 4, 2012
Miz is just being a random troll on reddit. #RAW
— Toto Puwatso(@WellYoureWrong) December 4, 2012
Miz is going to get in trouble for that one
— Bill S. Preston, Esq (@Miss_Dani_Baby) December 4, 2012
CM Punk’s retort was better, but Miz pulled a Mordecai and Rigby. I have to respect that.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) December 4, 2012
The Miz reminds CM Punk of the stipulation that if Punk is lying, Paul Heyman has to face Ryback next week. Miz asks CM Punk what his name is, asks if he’s been WWE Champion for 379 Days, if Rey Mysterio shaved his head bald, if he lost to Randy Orton at Wrestlemania 27. Punk answers them all truthfully then mocks The Miz for having The Rock help him win and getting a concussion at Wrestlemania. Miz calms Punk down and tells him that he wouldn’t want a faulty reading, then makes another walrus joke.
I though that was Mario Paint up on the Tron..my bad #RAW
— Django Bells (@WellYoureWrong) December 4, 2012
The Miz asks CM Punk if he thinks he can beat Ryback by himself. CM Punk says “Yes” and the lie detector test goes off. Miz says Mr. Abramson thinks he could be lying. Miz asks if CM Punk worked with Brad Maddox and The Shield then screams “ANSWER IT!” towards CM Punk. A loud “Yes!” chant breaks out.
Ah, the classic “Good Cop, Miz Cop” routine, I see.
— Stan Sitwell (@TimExiled) December 4, 2012
This lie detector test would of been so much better if Jeremy Kyle was hosting it #Raw
— Little Miss Kayleigh (@KaylxWhiting) December 4, 2012
The Shield enters the ring and attack The Miz, then destroys the MizTV set and The Miz.
ROLLINS, AMBROSE, THAT GUY again #RAW
— Toto Puwatso(@WellYoureWrong) December 4, 2012
I would like to thank The Shield for saving that segment.
— Bill S. Preston, Esq (@Miss_Dani_Baby) December 4, 2012
This is how all bad segments should end. #Raw
— Victoria (@prettyheartless) December 4, 2012
With the Exception of Kofi Kingston, All of Team Foley Has Been Attacked. Clearly, The Shield is Upset They’re Not In A Mizerable Christmas
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) December 4, 2012
Because they think he’s Nick Fury. RT @keepitfivestar Kofi Kingston is the only Team Foley member who’s escaped The Shield’s wrath.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) December 4, 2012
Daniel Bryan and Kane hit the ring and attack The Shield, but the Numbers Game gets the best of them. A loud “FEED ME MORE” chant breaks out. Ryback’s theme plays and the crowd goes nuts.
Uh-oh! Wreck It Ryback’s returned to his game!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) December 4, 2012
Wreck It Ryback hurls Dean Ambrose over the top rope.
“Avenge Me, Roman Reigns!” – Dean Ambrose As He Was Thrown Over the Top Rope By The Ryback
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) December 4, 2012
Wreck It Ryback, Daniel Byan and Kane beat The Shield all the way out of the arena. CM Punk stands up then taunts and attacks The Miz. Punk kicks The Miz out of the ring then celebrates. By the time Punk stops celebrating, Wreck It Ryback is back in the ring. Ryback hits the “Shell Shock” on CM Punk. Ryback leaves the ring then pulls out a table, ladder and chair.
Ryback will now eat one table, one ladder, and one chair. FEED HIM MORE #WWE #Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) December 4, 2012
The Ryback Is Taking a Chair Out To Sit On As He Eats Food Off a Table, With a Different Meal Placed on Each Rung of the Ladder
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) December 4, 2012
Wreck It Ryback hits CM Punk with the ladder, then with the chair. Ryback grabs a table, then sets it up in the ring. CM Punk tries to crawl away but he can’t. The “FEED ME MORE” chant gets louder as Ryback grabs CM Punk, then powerbombs him through the table. Ryback puts his foot on CM Punk’s chest then chants “FEED ME MORE” with the crowd.
Eating dinner at 11:10 is not healthy Ryback. Nor is it good for your metabolism. #FeedYouEarlier
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) December 4, 2012
I wish all Lie Detector Test ended with a massive brawl and a guy going through a table.#wwe #Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) December 4, 2012
We can all agree this happened because of the peepee tee. #Raw
— Victoria (@prettyheartless) December 4, 2012
So That Happened:
Very good Raw there.
— Not Regal (@RegalSays) December 4, 2012
“You overused the Shield on the last show. The fans are starting to get sick of them.” #EWR
— Louie Benson (@TeamLouie) December 4, 2012
Didn’t this thing have repercussions? Will Heyman have to wrestle Ryback? Will Stu the cameraman take John Cena off his Myspace top 5?
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) December 4, 2012