I should never be President. I’m not interested in the world of politics enough to navigate it. I’m interested in the world of wrestling, which is the real reason I should never be President. On Election Night, Barack Obama came out to “Signed, Sealed, Delivered” to give his re-election speech. It’s a fine song and Obama’s happiness was easily conveyed, in a slightly reserved way. I would have done the exact opposite.  

First, I would have come out to Daniel Bryan’s “Flight of the Valkyries,” screaming “YES! YES! YES!” while galloping across that stage. Then, I would pull out the Winged Eagle Belt, hidden under my suit jacket, raise it up with one hand and scream, “I AM THE U.S. PRESIDENT!” After my speech, I would toss wristbands out to the crowd, John Cena style. Before leaving, I would raise my hand show 4 Fingers for “4 more years;” also, this would cue the 4 Horsemen theme to be play. The WCW one. After a few “Woooos,” I would exit the stage.

None of that is presidential! Wrestling themes are not appropriate on Election Night. On the night of The White House Correspondence Dinner, however, that’s an entirely different story. The annual dinner awards members of the press and their journalistic achievements in covering the White House events. In recent years, it has become famous for the comedians invited to perform at the event, like Jimmy Kimmel in 2012 and Seth Meyers in 2011. It can take on a roast like atmosphere which encourages all parties to dish out as well as take it. In 2011, in the midst of the birther scandal, the President entered the Dinner to Rick Derringer’s “Real American” aka Hulk Hogan’s Theme:

Or he could‘ve said “Do You Smell What Barack is Cooking?” again and called it a day.