So, That Happened: 08/06/12

RAW starts off with a new theme song and opening.


GM AJ Lee comes out to the ring in a White Power Suit

Image courtesy of WWE.com


CM Punk comes out and apologizes to AJ for being a jerk then tries to persuade AJ into changing the Triple Threat Match. 

AJ stands her ground and admits she’ll make mistakes, but the Triple Threat Match isn’t one of them. 

CM Punk demands that AJ finds him a new opponent and John Cena comes out.

John Cena tells CM Punk that the reason Punk doesn’t get respect is because he hasn’t earned it. A loud “Let’s Go Cena. Cena Sucks” chant breaks out.”

John Cena tells AJ she smells nice and introduces himself to her.


CM Punk continues to talk about being the best until Big Show shows up to ruin everything.

AJ stops Big Show, CM Punk and John Cena from brawling and announces Big Show vs. Randy Orton and John Cena vs. Daniel Bryan tonight. CM Punk demands to be in the Main Event and AJ decides to to let the WWE Universe decide CM Punk’s opponent.

CM Punk’s choices are The Miz, Kane and Rey Mysterio…


The results are in….

Photo courtesy of thesmackdownhotel



Match 01: Rey Mysterio vs CM Punk

Winner:  CM Punk


Backstage: Alberto Del Rio and RicRod park his car backstage.

“Bare Knuckle Fighter” Wade Barrett Promo:

Backstage: Alberto Del Rio thanks AJ for allowing him not to wrestle tonight. Del Rio tells RicRod that AJ’s not crazy, AJ hears the word crazy and puts him in a match tonight. Del Rio quickly tries to get ready.


Match 02: Alberto Del Rio vs. Christian


Winner: Alberto Del Rio

Backstage: Sheamus is shown on the Titantron by Alberto Del Rio’s car. RicRod accidentally left his keys in the car so Sheamus is taking the car for a “joyride” to see the sights of San Antonio. In other words, he’s stealing the car and no one’s doing anything about it.


Match 03: Randy Orton vs. Big Show

 

Winner: Draw. Double Count Out.

Post-Match, Big Show tries to knock out Randy Orton but gets hit with an RKO.

Match 04: Curt Hawkins and Tyler Reks vs. The Ryback

Winner: Ryback

Match 05: Primo and Epico vs Darren Young and Titus O’Neil

Gif courtesy of patrickbatmans

Kofi Kingston and R-Truth distract Darren Young and Titus O’Neil.

Winners: Primo and Epico

Backstage: Damien Sandow explains his problem with Brodus Clay.

Match 06: Brodus Clay vs Damien Sandow Before the match can begin, Damien Sandow attacks Brodus Clay from behind.

Winner: Damien Sandow (Not officially but c’mon. He won)

Backstage: Daniel Bryan and AJ talk about Daniel Bryan being sane. Daniel Bryan asks to be put in the WWE Title Match at Summerslam if he beats John Cena tonight. AJ says she can’t do that because Daniel Bryan already has a match with Kane at Summerslam. Daniel Bryan tries to “NO” AJ but AJ keeps countering back with “YES!”

Match 07: Kelly Kelly vs. “Handsome” Eve Torres (Yes! A Divas Match!)


Kelly Kelly and Eve’s match is longer than usual.


Winner: Kelly Kelly

Touts on Touts on Touts: Michael Cole plays Sheamus’ touts about taking Del Rio’s car on a joyride.


Shawn Michaels Returns! …Again.

HBK talks about Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar until he is interrupted by Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman.

Paul Heyman says Brock Lesnar wants to beat Triple H to become to “Baddest Dude On The Planet”

Summerslam 2013, maybe?

 Brock Lesnar takes the mic from Paul Heyman.

Gif courtesy of lilaeris87

Brock Lesnar speaks until Triple H comes out in a t-shirt and jeans with his wrists taped up.

Brock Lesnar takes the mic….again.

Touts on Touts on Touts: Sheamus touts about stealing Alberto Del Rio’s car and sings “Deep In The Heart Of Texas.”

Match 08: Alex Riley vs. Dolph Ziggler (With Chris Jericho on commentary)

Chris Jericho touts about Dolph Ziggler, distracting him from the match.

Alex Riley rolls up Dolph Ziggler 

Winner: Alex Riley?! Seriously?!

Touts on Touts on Touts: More of Sheamus’ crime. Insert poop joke here.


Match 09: Kane vs. The Miz

Winner: Kane (No one really tweeted about this match.)


 Backstage: Sheamus finally brings the car back….

Backstage: Alberto Del Rio and RicRod find their car in poor condition.

Match 10: Daniel Bryan vs. John Cena


Winner: John Cena

Post-Match, CM Punk comes out and has a staredown with John Cena until Big Show comes out. Cena pushes CM Punk out of the way and attacks Big Show.


Cena goes for the AA but CM Punk kicks him in the head.

CM Punk taunts Jerry Lawler and says the show is ending like it did every week with the WWE Champion on top. Big Show ends up knocking out John Cena and CM Punk.

We really don’t!
(Image courtesy of WWE.com)

So That Happened…but during RAW: THIS HAPPENED!

So far the latest on JTG is he’s….

Image courtesy of a-dormouse
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