So That Happened: #RAW Recap (06/02/14)

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RAW kicks off with Evolution.

Triple H says they say it’s always darkest just before the dawn. Triple H says The Shield and the WWE Universe think they’ve won and that this is over, but they don’t get it. Triple H says he doesn’t lose. He never loses and that he always wins.

Triple H says this won’t be over until The Shield exists no longer and that happens tonight.

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Batista takes the mic and says he doesn’t want another match with The Shield. Batista wants his WWE World Heavyweight Title Match tonight. Triple H takes another mic and says there’s a reason why he’s the boss, and that is because he sees the bigger picture. Triple H says there’s a plan, but Batista doesn’t care about the plan. Batista says he earned a one-on-one Championship Match and he wants it tonight.

Triple H tells Batista that he’s not sure if he’s aware of this, but Daniel Bryan is injured and can’t compete tonight. Triple H mentions that even if he did, Batista would probably choke and lose anyway.

Triple H apologizes and says things are a little tense tonight. Triple H asks Batista if being unable to beat The Shield is how he wants to go down. Triple H says he has never backed away from a fight and that this ends when The Shield is no more. Triple H tells Batista that when they beat The Shield, he will get everything that he wants and desires, but until then, no one is getting anything.

Triple H asks Batista if he understands. Batista understands, then quits.

batistawave batistawave02Courtesy of prowrestlingnow

Batista walks off as Triple H screams at Batista. Triple H mocks Batista’s Hollywood Movie Career then tells him not to come back when his movie craps out.

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Backstage: Batista says ever since he came back, he’s been promised everything, but got nothing but crap. Batista says he’s done, then walks away.

Match 01: Rob Van Dam and #ScumbagSheamus vs. Cesaro and Bad News Barrett

Bad News Barrett says last night he defeated Rob Van Dam at Payback last night. Barrett knows everyone wants to see Rob Van Dam’s Five Star Frog Splash, but he’s afraid he’s got some bad news. The only person who will be seeing stars tonight is Rob Van Dam, courtesy of the Bullhammer.

Paul Heyman sits on commentary.

#ScumbagSheamus goes for the Brogue Kick, but Paul Heyman pulls Cesaro out of the ring.

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Courtesy of prowrestlingnow

Cesaro and Paul Heyman walk out of the match, leaving Bad News Barrett all by himself.

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Winners: Rob Van Dam and #ScumbagSheamus

Damien Sandow Speaks:

Damien Sandow comes out as Lane Stephenson, a member of the Indiana Pacers.

Damien Sandow says he would love to be preparing for a game right now, we all know the Pacers Season has come to an end. Sandow says with all of his free time, he’s out here for a few reasons.

Sandow says reason one, he would like to say Lebron James is the greatest player in NBA History. Two, The Indiana Pacers are a losing team from a losing city. Damien Sandow gets a loud “You Suck.”

Damien Sandow says, as an act of charity for supporting the Indiana Pacers, he will showcase some of his skills. Damien Sandow starts showing off his basketball skills.

sandowskillsCourtesy of hiitsmekevin

Big Show returns…

Damien Sandow calls Big Show out for trying to ruin his showcase of “mad skills.” Big Show asks Big Show if he’s got game, then tells him to prove it. Sandow passes Big Show the rock, then starts to do awkward defense.

After blowing in Big Show’s ear, Big Show tosses the basketball in Damien Sandow’s stomach, then knocks him out.

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Big Show breaks the hoop.

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Match 02: Bo Dallas vs. Kofi Kingston

Justin Roberts introduces the inspirational Bo Dallas.

Bo Dallas says there’s only one reason that the Miami Heat beat the beloved Pacers. The team, especially LeBron James, Bo-lieved.

Bo Dallas does a headlock, then runs outside.

A “BO-Ring” chant breaks out.

Bo Dallas hits the bulldog on Kofi Kingston.

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Winner: Bo Dallas

Bo Dallas does his victory lap.

Bo Dallas goes for a handshake, but Kofi Kingston blows him off.

Backstage: Renee Young tries to talk to Triple H, but Stephanie McMahon comes out. Reee asks about Triple H, but Stephanie tells her if she wants a scoop, she’s about to make an announcement about the WWE Championship.

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