So That Happened: #RAW Recap (05/26/14)

Tonight’s RAW is dedicated to the Military and the Armed Forces.

Time for #RAW. Thank you for your service, NCIS. Your 2 minutes a week do not go unnoticed.

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) May 27, 2014

And a Real Thank You to the Men, Women and Families of the Armed Forces. Your Service Lets Us Live Tweet Things like #RAW every day.

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) May 27, 2014

Justin Roberts introduces The Authority, Triple H and Stephanie McMahon.

Starting Memorial Day with the King and Queen of the WWE? Not a classy move, #TheAuthority

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) May 27, 2014

Stephanie McMahon welcomes The WWE Universe to a historic edition of RAW. Stephanie says she feels great tonight because tonight is all about choices. Stephanie uses Daniel Bryan as an example, and wonders if Bryan will do the right thing and surrender the WWE Championship.

https://twitter.com/NotGeorgieBoy/status/471079547673141250
https://twitter.com/loveablelinds/status/471079521525829632

That random Whoopi Goldberg sign is stealing the show. #raw #wwe

— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) May 27, 2014

Stephanie is a very beautiful woman but she inherited her father's smile. And he bought it from Satan. #Raw

— Barry (@TheBarrylad) May 27, 2014

Stephanie McMahon says Daniel Bryan wants to compete with you, but Daniel Bryan can’t physically do it. Stephanie claims that they didn’t want to be right about Daniel Bryan, but despite Bryan wanting to do this for the WWE Universe, his body is a B+.

Daniel Bryan is all about Choices, Stephanie. There's YES! YES! YES! and …., wait, what's the other one?

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) May 27, 2014

https://twitter.com/loveablelinds/status/471080650733133824

After a loud “Daniel Bryan” chant, Stephanie McMahon turns it around on the fans and says to cheer for Bryan because even though he wants to defend the championship, he can’t. Stephanie thinks Bryan will do the right thing tonight and give up the WWE World Heavyweight Championship.

I want to be the Champ.

— brianna (@ritahepburn) May 27, 2014

https://twitter.com/loveablelinds/status/471080109080707072

Triple H adds on saying hopefully Daniel Bryan will do the right hting for the WWE Universe. Triple H switches gears to Superstars, saying that some Superstars make it to the top, then burn out like Daniel Bryan, but others remain dominant and become legends, because they fail to adapt. Triple H says the ones who become legends live in your minds forever, and that’s Evolution.

I don't know how Triple H got from Daniel Bryan to Evolution versus the Shield. I tuned out when he started growling.

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) May 27, 2014

Triple H says this Sunday at Payback, The Shield will find out in a No Holds Barred Elimination, that you cannot stop Evolution. Triple H says tonight there will be a contract signing, and The Shield will have a choice: They can adapt and decide not to show up at Payback, and go on to hopefully become legends. Or they can sign those contracts to compete against Evolution at Payback and perish. Stephanie McMahon follows up by mentioning Brad Maddox, then brings him out.

https://twitter.com/InstantRandy/status/471080703992426497

Brad Maddox in his Tifa Lockheart suspenders.

— Kyle Lewis (@KeepItFiveStar) May 27, 2014

"Think that shirt could be any tighter on Brad Maddox?" Jerry, don't talk about other people's shirts. Trust us.

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) May 27, 2014

OMG, Prayer circle for Brad Maddox fans! #Raw

— Chris Riddle (@ChrisRiddle) May 27, 2014

https://twitter.com/Miss_Dani_Baby/status/471080642621341696

After Brad Maddox reluctantly comes out, Triple H reminds Brad Maddox of the stipulations between Seth Rollins and Batista last week, where everyone was banned from the arena. Triple H asks Brad Maddox why he made Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns commentators, but Brad Maddox says he had no choice because The Shield confronted him.

"That choice wasn't #BestForBusiness. It was Blurst for Business!" – Triple H, blustering away at Brad Maddox

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) May 27, 2014

Stephanie McMahon says she knows Brad Maddox thinks he doesn’t have a choice, but right now, The Authority doesn’t have a choice. Kane’s pyro hits and Kane comes out.

https://twitter.com/InstantRandy/status/471081197154492416
https://twitter.com/Miss_Dani_Baby/status/471081145342234624

Do not touch Brad Maddox!! I have a line and you are perilously close to it 😡#RAW

— Rose Bloomfield (@roseebloomfield) May 27, 2014

Brad Maddox tries to explain, but Triple H punches him down.

Courtesy of wrestling-giffer

Kane gets in the ring and stands over Brad Maddox.

"What happened Kane? We used to be Cool!" Brad Maddox, to himself. Triple H broke his jaw with that punch.

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) May 27, 2014

Snap his suspenders, Kane! That's what they're there for! #WWE #Raw #ChekovsSuspenders

— Donnybrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) May 27, 2014

Stephanie McMahon tells Kane to teach Brad Maddox a lesson. Kane chokeslams Brad Maddox then hits him with a Tombstone.

Courtesy of prowrestlingnow

https://twitter.com/InstantRandy/status/471081535110909952

That Tombstone was in honor of #thetroops. God bless america.

— Villalobos (@RamonVillalobos) May 27, 2014

https://twitter.com/NotGeorgieBoy/status/471081581785145344

You think Stephanie asks Kane to stop by when she has to teach her kids a lesson?

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) May 27, 2014

https://twitter.com/InstantRandy/status/471081323709222912

After Kane does his pyro trick, Stephanie McMahon orders the music to be stopped. Stephanie stands over Brad Maddox and fires him.

Brad Maddox: FIRED.

Pyro Guy with Bad Timing: FIRED. #Raw

— Ben (@BigBen213) May 27, 2014

Delayed pyro was delayed!

— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) May 27, 2014

The only thing Stephanie and Triple H didn't do to Brad Maddox was give him a wedgie.

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) May 27, 2014

Oh @StephMcMahon if you weren't so pretty I would be a lot more angry right now 😦 #Raw

— Rose Bloomfield (@roseebloomfield) May 27, 2014

Stephanie watching like she's at the apollo, and Kane's the clown.

— skip (@YourBoyDrew) May 27, 2014

Does anyone else find it weird that Triple H and Stephanie McMahon use Kane for their foreplay?

— Kyle Lewis (@KeepItFiveStar) May 27, 2014

Bo Dallas Promo:

https://twitter.com/NotGeorgieBoy/status/471083383913984002
https://twitter.com/prettyheartless/status/471083393795366914
https://twitter.com/loveablelinds/status/471083917156425729

Match 01: Cesaro vs. Rob Van Dam

https://twitter.com/InstantRandy/status/471083415807090688

I WANT THAT SHIRT!

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) May 27, 2014

I dig Cesaro's new shirt. #RAW

— Stacey (@LittleSherbie) May 27, 2014

I REALLY want that Cesaro shirt because I love that they used the old school king of the ring logo for it. #Raw

— Tyler Edwards (@prince_petty_) May 27, 2014

"Coming down the aisle, from the year 2002, Rob Van Dam!" – Justin Roberts

— Kyle Lewis (@KeepItFiveStar) May 27, 2014

Bad News Barrett says today is the official day of Summer, but he’s afraid he’s got some BAD NEWS!

https://twitter.com/InstantRandy/status/471083762047283200

Wade Barrett sounds like a weatherman. You know how weathermen say they have "bad news" before they say it rains?

— skip (@YourBoyDrew) May 27, 2014

Bad News Barrett says Summer will be the time people dig out their swimsuits and realize they’re bigger than their bathing suits. Barrett also says at Payback, Rob Van Dam will discover that his Indian Summer is over, while Barrett will still be Intercontinental Champion.

https://twitter.com/loveablelinds/status/471084178268643328
https://twitter.com/_katierose13/status/471083984240508929
https://twitter.com/InstantRandy/status/471084090582499329

Bad News Barrett joins Michael Cole, JBL and Jerry Lawler for commentary.

"It's Me. It's Me. It's B-N-B" – Wade Barrett on commentary. Step your game up, JBL!

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) May 27, 2014

https://twitter.com/InstantRandy/status/471084283243663360

Rob Van Dam tries to Moonsault Cesaro, but Cesaro catches him.

Courtesy of wrestling-giffer

https://twitter.com/InstantRandy/status/471084547266719744

CESARO DA GAWD!

— ΜΛΛL (@Osito1034) May 27, 2014

Cesaro is so strong, his blood contains the key for the Super Soldier Serum. #CaptainSwiss

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) May 27, 2014

https://twitter.com/adamlucidi/status/471086268206833664

Rob Van Dam knocks Cesaro down, then kicks Bad News Barrett.

Courtesy of prowrestlingnow

Sorry RVD, you're just not a draw anymore.

*RVD kicks Bad News Barrett*

Hey! He's still got it!

— Kyle Lewis (@KeepItFiveStar) May 27, 2014

RVD with the Sweet Chin Eight-Hour Jam Session #WWE #Raw

— Donnybrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) May 27, 2014

https://twitter.com/InstantRandy/status/471086147116879874

Look at that kick! RVD can read our tweets and we made him angry!

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) May 27, 2014

After that kick to the jaw, this week I'm afraid Barrett's got some bad chews. #RAW

— Erik Barnes (@ErikWBarnes) May 27, 2014

I wonder if Rob Van Dam's Educated Feet have to pay student loans.

— Kyle Lewis (@KeepItFiveStar) May 27, 2014

Bad News Barrett distracts Rob Vam, allowing Cesaro to hit the German Suplex on RVD.

https://twitter.com/NotGeorgieBoy/status/471086452932354048

Winner: Cesaro

Cesaro can beat people with the German Swing because he's THAT much better than you!

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) May 27, 2014

https://twitter.com/InstantRandy/status/471086508032540672

Cesaro, much like Ziggler, is just one of those guys so talented I can't ever see myself not being a fan. #RAW

— Stacey (@LittleSherbie) May 27, 2014

Post-Match, #ScumbagSheamus comes out and hits Cesaro with the Brogue Kick.

Ok RVDs kick to BNB was nice, but Sheamus' brogue kick on Cesaro was monsteriffic. #wwe #raw

— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) May 27, 2014

>.< This has nothing to do with you, #ScumbagSheamus!

— Kyle Lewis (@KeepItFiveStar) May 27, 2014

…Sheamus what did any of that have to do with you? Let bygones be bygones.

— ΜΛΛL (@Osito1034) May 27, 2014

Why does #ScumbagSheamus have to ruin EVERYTHING!?!?!

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) May 27, 2014

https://twitter.com/InstantRandy/status/471086557063966720

This crowd actually likes Sheamus. What's going on? I don't like this. #RAW

— Stacey (@LittleSherbie) May 27, 2014

Match 02: Summer Rae vs. Eva Marie (w/ Nikki Bella)

https://twitter.com/InstantRandy/status/471088173917806592

"CALL TO ME! CALL TO MEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

— Kyle Lewis (@KeepItFiveStar) May 27, 2014

OMG, Eva vs Summer!? #RAW

— Chris Riddle (@ChrisRiddle) May 27, 2014

Eva vs Summer?! YAAAAAAS ❤

— nicole (@angiechipz) May 27, 2014

https://twitter.com/_katierose13/status/471088403988381697

ALL HELL IS BREAKING LOOSE WITHOUT A RAW GM. EVA MARIE HAS A SINGLES MATCH. pic.twitter.com/AKm1AJmFcA

— young simba (@extremeexile) May 27, 2014

Eva Marie has bizarre offense.

Eva Marie with the Looney Tunes Strats.

— skip (@YourBoyDrew) May 27, 2014

This Eva Marie / Nikki Bella pairing will not work out. Eva always wants to go H.A.M. Nikki does liquid diets.

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) May 27, 2014

"Urge to go H.A.M., rising…" – Eva Marie

— Kyle Lewis (@KeepItFiveStar) May 27, 2014

What a mat classic.

— brianna (@ritahepburn) May 27, 2014

Fandangos theme plays.

Layla's dressed like a Sexy Saba Simba tonight…

— Kyle Lewis (@KeepItFiveStar) May 27, 2014

https://twitter.com/InstantRandy/status/471088926988308480

This Ed Hardy ass dress Layla got on.

— ΜΛΛL (@Osito1034) May 27, 2014

Fandayla: Driven by their Animal Instincts.

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) May 27, 2014

Eva Marie rolls up Summer Rae.

Winner: Eva Marie

Eva got better music than Summer! HAHAHAHAHA!

— ΜΛΛL (@Osito1034) May 27, 2014

Eva Marie and her cheap Cherry Pie imitation music.

— Kyle Lewis (@KeepItFiveStar) May 27, 2014

https://twitter.com/loveablelinds/status/471089363963490305

Backstage: Randy Orton and Batista are talking until Cody Rhodes and Goldust walk in. Cody Rhodes wants to speak with Triple H and wants to know why they’re not on the show, but Orton tells him Triple H isn’t here. Orton reminds Cody Rhodes that he got him fired last year, but Cody fires back saying he and Goldust beat The Shield last year, a team Evolution couldn’t beat and can’t beat again.

https://twitter.com/InstantRandy/status/471089287187165184

Whoa Cody breaking out the sassyness. I like it. #RAW

— The Mer™ (@mare_bare) May 27, 2014

Cody getting sassy. Been hanging around his wife too much.

— ΜΛΛL (@Osito1034) May 27, 2014

https://twitter.com/prettyheartless/status/471089901514285056

Randy Orton and Batista call Cody Rhodes and Goldust out for not capitalizing on that momentum, but Cody Rhodes tells Orton and Batista that 10 years ago, they were Triple H’s lapdogs, and 10 years later, they’re still Triple H’s lapdog. Batista gets pissed off until Triple H shows up.

Cody Rhodes just watched Days of Future Past for the 5th time this weekend. He's all Fired Up!

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) May 27, 2014

Look Cody, call Dave a sellout, but you DON'T THROW SHADE AT HIS JEANS. #WWE #Raw

— Donnybrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) May 27, 2014

WWE and 2K Games presents: Lap Dogs – Coming to PS3, Xbox 360, Xbox One and PS4 this fall.

— Kyle Lewis (@KeepItFiveStar) May 27, 2014

Cody Rhodes tells Triple H that he and Goldust want action, so if that means facing “The Skinny Jean Sellout” and “RKBlows” then so be it. Triple H puts Cody and Goldust in a match tonight against Evolution, but plans to make the match “interesting.” After Cody and Goldust leave, Triple H calms down Randy Orton and Batista, complimenting Batista’s by saying he has “big legs.”

RKBlows

— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) May 27, 2014

RK blows, that's a good one. #RAW

— Stacey (@LittleSherbie) May 27, 2014

Skinny Jeans and RKBlows. This is why Cody's my favorite guys. #RAW

— Andrew (@Angry216) May 27, 2014

https://twitter.com/adamlucidi/status/471089647352025088

"You got big legs" – HHH to Batista. HILARIOUS!

— ΜΛΛL (@Osito1034) May 27, 2014

Match 03: El Torito vs. Drew McIntyre

https://twitter.com/InstantRandy/status/471090545775755264

Are we still doing this?

— ΜΛΛL (@Osito1034) May 27, 2014

Still in love with this feud. #RAW

— Drop Toehold (@Drop_Toehold) May 27, 2014

Drew McIntyre, even though you're fighting a bull, CHEAT! It's your only way out.

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) May 27, 2014

El Torito's horns are literally a foreign object. This is the one time I would not object to that term.

— Charles Nerd 🌈 (@CharlesNerd) May 27, 2014

Don't Show Off, Drew!
1. You're not Dolph Ziggler
2. You're fighting a bull

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) May 27, 2014

Winner: El Tortio

https://twitter.com/NotGeorgieBoy/status/471091554107408384

Mark my words, Torito will win the WWE Heavyweight Champion at Wrestlemania before long. He will have furry kickpads.

— Villalobos (@RamonVillalobos) May 27, 2014

Post-Match, 3MB attacks El Torito.

Can Torito overcome the odds?!?

— Villalobos (@RamonVillalobos) May 27, 2014

Hornswoggle rips off El Torito’s tail.

https://twitter.com/InstantRandy/status/471091742725656577

Hornswoggle yanked El Torito's tail off! Cattle Mutilation!! #wwe #raw

— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) May 27, 2014

El Torito got his tail ripped off! Now he won't be able to transform into a Saiyan Ape during the Full Moon!

— Kyle Lewis (@KeepItFiveStar) May 27, 2014

The crowd is silent.

— ΜΛΛL (@Osito1034) May 27, 2014

Look at the positive side: now WWE can market those "Pin the Tail on El Torito" games for Children's Parties!

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) May 27, 2014

Courtesy of prowrestlingnow

Backstage: Los Matadores talk with the Trainers and try to get the tail back on El Torito.

https://twitter.com/_katierose13/status/471093081102901248

There's a "Tail on a Pole" Match between Hornswoggle and El Torito in our future, isn't there?

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) May 27, 2014

Nobody ever let the Matadors perform surgery. Ever. #Raw

— Ben (@BigBen213) May 27, 2014

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