So That Happened: 09/30/13

RAW begins with CM Punk!

The middle rope is pink again in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month:

After a loud CM Punk chant, CM Punk says a lot of people think that RAW thrives on unpredictability and he’s as predictable as it comes. Punk says sometimes predictability is okay and uses the examples of Paul Heyman bragging, him attacking Paul Heyman and him getting beaten down by Curtis Axel and Ryback.

 CM Punk says he’s okay with predictability because he knows how this story ends. It ends when he gets a hold of Curtis Axel and makes him go to sleep. It ends when he gets his hands on Ryback and shows him what truly happens to bullies. And it ends when he finally gets his hands on Paul Heyman, and Heyman realizes there is no one left to save him. CM Punk is cut off by a small “Ryback Sucks” chant, but encourages the crowd to continue the chant.

CM Punk the story ends when he puts an end to Paul Heyman and that could be this Sunday at Battleground, or next week on RAW or right here, now and live on the USA Network.

CM Punk says he’s been in a fighting mood for months and he’s not leaving the ring until he gets a fight. CM Punk doesn’t care if he fights Paul Heyman, Curtis Axel or Ryback, all Punk wants is a fight and he promises to put Paul Heyman out of his misery. Suddenly, Brad Maddox comes out trying to calm CM Punk down.

CM Punk mocks Brad Maddox for not having theme music.

Brad Maddox tells CM Punk that he understands that he was embarrassed last week and wants an ultimate showdown right now with Ryback, but that’s just not what’s best for business. Maddox reminds CM Punk that he has a match with Ryback at Battleground, but since he is the RAW GM, he has the power to give CM Punk a match tonight if he’d like one, but not against Ryback.

CM Punk tells Brad Maddox that he’s looking for an outlet for his aggression. Before he can finish, Big E. Langston comes down to the ring.

Big E. Langston tells CM Punk if he wants aggression, he’s his man. Big E. attacks CM Punk.

Match 01: Big E. Langston vs. CM Punk

CM Punk hits the GTS on Big E. Langston.

Winner: CM Punk

Match 02: Fandango vs. Kofi Kingston

Winner: Kofi Kingston

Post-Match, The Wyatt Family comes out.

Bray Wyatt talks about how he spent the majority of his life trying to understand why horrible things happen to him and when this nightmare was going to end, but it never did. Wyatt says now he understands what he must do and one by one, they will all fall down. Follow The Buzzards.

Backstage: Brie Bella is talking to Nikki Bella about her title shot tonight. Brie says she’s been waiting for this, but Nikki corrects her and says they’ve been waiting. The Bella Twins are interrupted by Randy Orton in his Rise Above Cancer shirt. Randy Orton congratulates Brie Bella on her engagement to Daniel Bryan then asks about the wedding.

After Orton doesn’t get a response, he advises Brie Bella to have the wedding much sooner than later because after Sunday, Daniel Bryan won’t be able to walk down the altar.

Backstage: Renee Young asks Paul Heyman about CM Punk’s comments earlier. Heyman says it must be difficult for Renee and everyone else to watch a man like CM Punk, who had such promise, descend into madness. Heyman says Punk is so obsessed with getting his hands on him and it’s something he will never be able to do again. Heyman claims CM Punk will never be able to bully him again because CM Punk is a nobody who became a Paul Heyman guy, who became a WWE Champion that forgot what made them the Best In The World.

Renee Young asks Paul Heyman about another trap since she noices Curtis Axel and Ryback hiding off camera. Heyman tells Renee Young that his mere existence is a trap for CM Punk and that he has a huge night planned for RAW tonight. Heyman says if CM Punk wants to do something about it, let hm find the manhood to make a move and try to do something about it..

Match 03: 3MB vs. Los Matadores

Los Matadores Gifs courtesy of wrestling-giffer

Winners: Los Matadores

The Rhodes Family Proposition: 

Triple H and Stephanie McMahon walk down to the ring. Triple H invites the Rhodes Family to make their way down the ring and guarantees them safety just like guarantees the safety of any WWE Superstar.

The Rhodes Family comes out to Dusty Rhodes’ theme.

Courtesy of Shardwick

Stephanie McMahon says it’s good to see everyone again, especially Cody Rhodes , then asks if he received the Bed, Bath and Beyond Gift Card. Triple H calls The Rhodes Family out on their hostility and claims all they’ve done is given them opportunities. Triple H goes through Cody Rhodes, Goldust and Dusty Rhodes’ “opportunities” to get Cody’s job back and how they failed. Triple H asks Dusty Rhodes if he’s still bitter that he failed in the WWE, even with the Polka Dots.

Triple H brings up Dusty Rhodes telling Stephanie McMahon to go to hell and the consequences for him. Stephanie McMahon reminds Dusty Rhodes about his job at NXT, where he holds the future of the future WWE Superstars in the palm of his hand. Stephanie thinks it’s ironic that they hold the future of Dusty Rhodes’ son in the palm of their hands.

Stephanie McMahon tells Cody Rhodes that she would like to give him his job back and Goldust a job. Stephanie says they will get the opportunity to gain their employment, if they beat the WWE Tag Team Champions, Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns at Battleground.

Triple H says that if they beat The Shield, they get their jobs back. But if they lose, they will never work in the WWE again. On top of that, if they lose, Dusty Rhodes will join them in the unemployment line.

Dusty Rhodes takes the mic and tells Triple H that he’s big on getting in other people’s faces. Dusty Rhodes get in Triple H’s face. Stephanie McMahon tries to get involved but Dusty Rhodes gives him the Maryse.

Courtesy of vocareadregem

Dusty Rhodes wants one stipulation for this match: He’s in the corner of Cody Rhodes and Goldust. Stephanie McMahon agrees to the stipulation then tells Dusty Rhodes that it seems like he’s itchin’ for a fight. Stephanie tells Dusty Rhodes to be careful what he wishes for, because he might get it.

The Rhodes Family tries to leave the ring, but Cody Rhodes and Goldust are attacked by The Shield. Dusty Rhodes tries to get involved with a chair, but gets attacked by The Shield as well.

The Shield hits the Triple Powerobmb on Cody Rhodes. Roman Reigns grabs Cody Rhodes by the shirt then tells him to “Get Used To This.”

Match 04: R-Truth vs. Curtis Axel

CM Punk’s theme plays and it distracts Curtis Axel. R-Truth manages to get the victory!

Winner: R-Truth?!

Trish Stratus gives Birth (Not actually on RAW. This happened outside of the WWE Universe)

It’s also announced that Brie Bella and Daniel Bryan are engaged.

Match 05: Alicia Fox vs. Brie Bella

Backstage: AJ Lee and Tamina are watching Brie Bella’s match.

Brie Bella gets the upperhand.

Winner: Brie Bella

Backstage: Curtis Axel paces around while Paul Heyman calls his name. Heyman snaps Curtis Axel out of it and tells him that CM Punk is out of their league. Ryback walks up and tells them no one needs to be threatened by CM Punk. Ryback thinks if CM Punk wants them, they should give him what he wants. Curtis Axel disagrees with this, but Paul Heyman tells Ryback to go get himself something to eat and he’ll find him in a couple of minutes.

Curtis Axel asks Heyman what he has planned. Paul Heyman says that ever since Ryback saved his life, he has a new outlook on life. Heyman tells Axel that he’s going to do what he should’ve done when Ryback saved him and plans to propose to Ryback.

Backstage: Renee Young asks Big Show how he’s holding up then brings up that last week on Smackdown, he looked ready to explode. Big Show says his financial situation is being held over his head like Damocles sword. Big Show talks about people saying he needs to be a man and do the right thing, but thinks it’s easier said than done. Big Show says he’s being forced to choose between the lesser of two evils and if it was up to him, he wouldn’t choose evil at all because he’s a good person who’s just trying to do right by his family.

Big Show says every sick, horrible thing he’s been asked to do he’s done. Big Show talks about how hard it was knocking out WWE Hall Of Famer, Dusty Rhodes and how he had to watch The Shield attack Dusty. Big Show says he can’t even look Dusty Rhodes in the eye after everything that happened and there’s only so much he can take. Big Show says that he’s done everything asked of him, but he can’t take it anymore and he WON’T take it anymore.

Big Show says he’s going to find Triple H and show him exactly how he feels, by knocking Triple H out.

Courtesy of melonpanblues

Backstage: R-Truth is talking to Brad Maddox about possibly getting an Intercontinental Title shot. Maddox tells Truth he’ll take it under advisement, which R-Truth is confused about.

Big Show walks up and R-Truth quickly leaves.

Big Show demands Triple H, but Brad Maddox tries to calm him down. Big Show presses Brad Maddox up against the wall and demands Maddox to tell him where Triple H. Big Show tells Maddox to go find Triple H. Maddox runs for his life.

Match 06: Alberto Del Rio vs. Zack Ryder

Winner: Alberto Del Rio

Paul Heyman’s Proposal:

Paul Heyman reminds us about his victory over CM Punk, which proved that he is the Best In The World. Heyman says he is also proficient in political science then tells us his theory that you cannot put down insurgence on their own soil. Heyman says that since he owns CM Punk, he knew he had to go against his theory and squash CM Punk in Chicago then shows the footage.

Paul Heyman gives CM Punk credit for commitment, but Punk’s commitment has been to break Heyman’s face. Heyman says that the only reason that this face is still on TV, smiling, is because of the big, bad, beautiful man who put a stop to CM Punk’s bullying, Ryback. Ryback says that there’s one thing he hates in the world and that’s bullies. Ryback talks about all the sacrifies and friendship CM Punk gave Paul Heyman and how much it upset him that CM Punk threw that in Heyman’s face. Ryback calls Paul Heyman a genius and says there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for him.

Paul Heyman says he’s glad Ryback feels that way and that it’s time that in this progressive society that people are honest about their true feelings. Heyman tells Ryback that he doesn’t want to be stigmatized in that Superstar/Manager relationship. He wants better. Heyman tells Ryback that ever since he saved his life, he’s felt more liberated and free. And he wants to feel that way every single time. Paul Heyman is cut off by a “Get A Room” chant.

Paul Heyman tells Ryback that he wants a commitment and that he even ran this by his children. Heyman wants to commit to Ryback from the Opening Match to the Main Event, In Sickness and In Health, and Till Death Do They Part. Heyman tells Ryback that he wants to make an honest man out of him then gets on one knee.

Paul Heyman asks Ryback if he’ll become a Paul Heyman Guy. The WWE Universe chants “NO!” as Ryback thinks about it.

CM Punk’s theme song plays and Paul Heyman and Ryback look around for him. CM Punk comes through the crowd. Jumps over the rail, then lands on his knee!

CM Punk looks legitimately hurt. CM Punk struggles to get to his feet and limps his way to the ring. CM Punk almost gets in the ring, but falls again. The doctors check on CM Punk.

CM Punk slowly starts to get to his feet, but pulls out a Kendo Stick and hits Paul Heyman in the knee with it!

CM Punk beats the crap out of Ryback with a Kendo Stick.

Curtis Axel tries to help out but gets destroyed by CM Punk with the Kendo Stick. CM Punk looks at Paul Heyman and Ryback, who are up the ramp then hits Curtis Axel with the GTS.

Match 07: The Shield vs. Dolph Ziggler and The Usos

Roman Reigns hits the Spear on Dolph Ziggler.

Winners: The Shield

Backstage: Big Show is waiting around for Triple H.

Big Show looks at flowers then destroys them.

The cops show up and asks Big Show about alligations of him threatening a WWE employee. Stephanie McMahon walks up and apologizes for Big Show. Stephanie McMahon says that he’s been under a lot of pressure lately and might not realize the consequences of his actions. Stephanie McMahon says Big Show is just trying to put food on the table for his family and pay his mortgage. Stephanie McMahon vouches for the Big Show, then tells him that she spoke to his wife today. Stephanie reveals that at home, Big Show hasn’t been measuring up to his wife’s expectations.

After Stephanie McMahon and the cops leave, Big Show punches the Triple H: Thy Kingdom Come DVD Poster.

Backstage: Renee Young asks Rob Van Dam about his World Title Match being held under Extreme Rules. Rob Van Dam tells Renee that he could talk about this, but he’d rather show her. RVD shows a YouTube clip of RVD’s Most Extreme Moments.

Rob Van Dam tells Renee Young that Alberto Del Rio is vicious and sadistic, but the truth is, Del Rio has no clue what Hardcore Rules means. RVD says that when it’s Hardcore, anything goes and you use your imagination. RVD says this Sunday at Battleground, they’re going Hardcore and the perfect translation for what Hardcore means is “Rob. Van. Dam.”

Match 08: The Real Americans vs. The Great Khali and Santino Marella

Zeb Colter rants about Missouri then explains his new rule: Only Real Americans are allowed to join in with the Real Americans and say the phrase, “We The People.”

Antonio Cesaro does the Giant Swing to Santino Marella!

Winner: Santino Marella

Randy Orton/Daniel Bryan Face-Off: 

Jerry Lawler introduces Randy Orton and Daniel Bryan then reminds them that this is a Verbal Confrontation only. Lawler also reminds them of Triple H stripping Daniel Bryan of the title. Orton says that at the time, he was very upset with Triple H’s decision, but he realized he should be happy because it motivated him to find the Apex Predator. No longer was he the Viper who cared what the WWE Universe thought, he was the Viper who was void of morality, who decimated The Miz in front of his family.

Randy Orton says this Sunday, he will beat Daniel Bryan for the WWE Title because he is Genetically Superior to a small, pathetic, Goatfaced B+ Player like Bryan. Daniel Bryan mocks Randy Orotn’s monotone A+ Delivery, then asks Bryan why he felt that Triple H needed to inspire him. Bryan says maybe it’s because he wants to make money off Randy Orton, or maybe he knew that Orton couldn’t reach his full potential without motivation. Bryan says he might be a small, weak, pathetic, B+, goatfaced troll, but he has NEVER needed anyone’s motivation to reach his full potential. Bryan says This Sunday at Battleground, he’ll achieve even more when he beats Randy Orton and regains the WWE Championship.

The WWE Universe chants “YES!” which angers Randy Orton further. Orton screams “NO!” and demands they stop chanting, but the WWE Universe cheers anyway. Randy Orton says that Daniel Bryan has been on a roll as of late and that he’s marrying a Bella. Orton asks Bryan that what could possibly be wrong with Brie Bella since she’s actually marrying him. Orton tells Bryan that one day, Brie Bella is going to wake up and realize that she’s not sleeping with handsome champion like himself. She’s sleeping with a barnyard animal.

Daniel Bryan attacks Randy Orton. Randy Orton and Daniel Bryan brawl, but Randy Orton gets the upperhand. Randy Orton gets ready to DDT Daniel Bryan off the apron, but Brie Bella comes down and asks him to stop. Randy Orton hits the DDT anyway.

Randy Orton starts taking the table apart as Brie Bella begs for him to stop.

Randy Orton gives Daniel Bryan and RKO through the table while Brie Bella pleads for Orton to leave him alone.

Randy Orton walks off as Brie Bella checks on Daniel Bryan.

So That Happened:

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1 Response to So That Happened: 09/30/13

  1. Pingback: Nation Of Animation: The Many Dances Of Stephanie McMahon | Three Man Booth

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