Match 01: Daniel Bryan vs. Wade Barrett
I congratulate @WWE for finding another way to make money off @WWEDanielBryan w/the YES! towel. #iwantone #Raw
— thechrishaley (@thechrishaley) August 13, 2013
Wade Barrett without his beard reminds me of Mr. Potato Head after you take off the mustache.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 13, 2013
Justin Roberts announces that Brad Maddox is the Special Guest Referee.
Brad Maddox has come full circle! He’s #HeartthrobRef all over again.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 13, 2013
Remember when Brad Maddox hit Ryback in the nuts? He was good then and hes great now. #wwe #raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) August 13, 2013
How Did Brad Maddox Go From Being a Terrible #HeartthrobRef to a #SpecialHeartthrobRef? He’s Terrible!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 13, 2013
Wade Barrett counters Daniel Bryan’s kicks with a roll up. Brad Maddox uses a fast count.
Winner: Wade Barrett
I think even Wade Barrett wasn’t expecting that win. #Raw
— Tyler Edwards (@Und3rAverageJoe) August 13, 2013
Brad Maddox IS your friend playing as special ref in WWE 13. He either beats the other guy up or counts fast. #Raw
— Dr. Jay Hankinstein (@Jayfuz) August 13, 2013
Daniel Bryan turns his attention to Brad Maddox.
Brad Maddox tries to say he’s an official, so Bryan can’t hit him. Brad Maddox manages to escape.
Where is Bret Hart to come in an accuse Bischoff Jr of screwing Bryan?
— Not Regal (@RegalSays) August 13, 2013
Match 02: Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes
Sandow’s MITB Briefcase is the most delicious looking thing Ive ever seen. #wwe #raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) August 13, 2013
Damien Sandow handcuffs the briefcase to the ringpost.
Is Sandow signalling to Cody that he’s no longer getting the 50 Shades of Damien treatment with those cuffs?
— Not Regal (@RegalSays) August 13, 2013
The very idea of Randy Orton- a man who slams his arms on a mat to announce his finisher- lurking anywhere, is simply preposterous. #RAW
— World War D (@Heinekenrana) August 13, 2013
Cody: “I dont want to come off like Im whining..but I have to whine!” #wwe #raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) August 13, 2013
Cody Rhodes tries to steal the briefcase, but Damien Sandow and the referee catch him. Randy Orton hits the RKO on Damien Sandow.
Cody Rhodes does not look like a good guy here.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 13, 2013
Winner: Randy Orton
Or maybe he was hoping Orton would notice and consider Legacy again.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 13, 2013
Cody helped Randy Orton win! Is There a Legacy Reunion Around the Corner? What’s That? Oh, Okay. No. No There’s Not.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 13, 2013
Rob Van Dam is shown stretching:
Is RVD doing that weird yoga again? Yup. Splits on the chair….impressive.
— Shay Mitchell (@ShayLMitchell) August 13, 2013
The Shield Speaks: Dean Ambrose questions how someone can be lazy, unproductive and bad at their job, yet still be brought back to work every single day (Rob Van Dam) Seth Rollins says that the old guards living off their reputations have to go and that The Shield is the new generation. They’re younger, hungrier and just better.
Seth Rollins Just Mentioned the New Generation. Does That Make Him Bret Hart, Shawn Michaels or Duke the Dumpster Droese?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 13, 2013
Ryback vs The Shield in a battle of who’s hungriest. #WWE #Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) August 13, 2013
Roman Reigns says that no one can compete with The Shield, but challenges any two men to step up and challenge them for the Tag Team Titles at Summerslam, make your move.
Roman Reigns: “Make Your Move” Make Your Million Dollar Move?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 13, 2013
Dean Ambrose talks about the U.S. Title Battle Royal and says no one in the battle royal is going to beat him because he’s the big, unbeatable champion in this company. Ambrose calls CM Punk a catchphrase then says he’s the Best In The World, then claims he’s the WWE Champion because the U.S. Title is the Championship everybody runs from. Ambrose claims if Andre The Giant’s ghost isn’t in this battle royal tonight, then he’s not losing the title at Summerslam. Ambrose ends the promo saying, “Believe That and Believe In The Shield!”
Did the Shield Camera just pan to Andre The Giant’s ghost after Dean Ambrose’s promo?
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 13, 2013
The Ghost of Andre The Giant Will Mess You Up, Dean Ambrose! AND Drink You Under the Table!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 13, 2013
“Wait a minute…is it…Yes! Its Andre the Giant’s Ghost Bah Gawd hes not supposed to be here!” #wwe #Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) August 13, 2013
Backstage: Josh Mathews asks CM Punk about his match with Paul Heyman and why he would take a match this close to Summerslam. Punk says why not and thinks there’s a man alive that would run from this fight. Punk reminds us that Brock Lesnar told Paul Heyman to say something stupid, and he did by challenging Punk to a fight. Punk thinks Heyman isn’t stupid and that everything Heyman does is for a reason. Punk thinks Heyman’s playing a big chess game and that he’s got his pawns in order, but Punk reminds them that if you come at the King, you best not miss. Punk thinks he’ll see Lesnar tonight that Brock thinks “The Beast Is The Best,” but Punk says at the end of the day, “The Best Is The Best.”
CM Punk better end one of these promos by addressing Lesnar as ‘Bub’.
— Not Regal (@RegalSays) August 13, 2013
Match 03: The Great Khali and Natalya vs. Big E. Langston and AJ
Natalya you hussy! I saw you with Tyson Kidd on #TotalDivas ! HOW COULD YOU!? #Raw
— Dr. Jay Hankinstein (@Jayfuz) August 13, 2013
@3ManBooth considering how often she loses, nattie does all the jobs.
— Headlock Insider (@HEADLOCKinsider) August 13, 2013
Big E. Langston says Dolph Ziggler used to beg him to be in his corner and claims he never needed Dolph Ziggler. Langston mocks Dolph for having Kaitlyn in his corner now then says he beat Dolph before and he’ll beat him again. Langston mocks Dolph’s “Show-Off” catchphrase then says “Show Over.”
“Show Off? Nah. Show Over.” Everyone’s Bringing Their A Games in These Promos Tonight!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 13, 2013
AJ Lee yells at Hornswoggle.
NOBODY SCREAMS AT A DWARF #RAW
— World War D (@Heinekenrana) August 13, 2013
AJ you made out with Hornswoggle once I’m sure. #RAW
— KH2157EN (@khristheunicorn) August 13, 2013
Natalya hits the Sharpshooter on AJ Lee and she taps and Natalya breaks the hold but the referee doesn’t see it….?
What the hell just happened?
— Shay Mitchell (@ShayLMitchell) August 13, 2013
That Ref Must Have Graduated From the Brad Maddox School of Refereeing.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 13, 2013
Natalya puts AJ Lee in the Sharpshooter and AJ taps…for real this time.
Winners: The Great Khali and Natalya
Welp. Time to fire another #BlackRef
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 13, 2013
I Think Nattie Did a Second Take with The Sharpshooter so that the #TotalDivas Cameras Would Catch Her At a Better Angle.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 13, 2013
Big E. Langston attacks The Great Khali and tosses Hornswoggle. Khali ends up chopping Big E. Langston in the head.
Big E. Langston Looks So Tiny Next to The Great Khali
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 13, 2013
Mr. McMahon Speaks:
It is my life mission to strut like Vince McMahon. #RAW
— Stacey (@LittleSherbie) August 13, 2013
Vince in the SHINIEST of suits. A page out of P. Diddy’s book.
— Powerline (@Osito1034) August 13, 2013
Vince McMahon wearing one of Barney Stinson’s pajama suits.
— Tom Queue Wood (@TomQWood) August 13, 2013
Vince picks his suits from the Saints Row customization app.
— Not Regal (@RegalSays) August 13, 2013
Vince IS repping the Player Hater’s Ball like whoa. #ImgonnagohomeandputsomewaterinDanielBryansmommasdish
— Alex Vause (@failraiser) August 13, 2013
I’m starting to think Mr. McMahon gets dressed by one of those clothes machines from The Jetsons.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 13, 2013
Mr. McMahon talks abut the controversy between the match with Daniel Bryan and Wade Barrett. McMahon reviews the footage then says we’re due an explanation. Mr. McMahon brings out Brad Maddox
Maddox knows he can take the ref’s shirt off now right?
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) August 13, 2013
Mr. McMahon asks Brad Maddox to explain his actions. Maddox claims Daniel Bryan matches tend to get out of hand, so he thought the WWE Universe would appreciate an authority figure with the guts to make the right decision, no matter how popular it may be.
Not Only DId Brad Maddox Fast Count Daniel Bryan, He’s Also Keeping the “WHAT?!?” Chants Alive. Get Him, WWE Universe!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 13, 2013
Mr. McMahon calls Brad Maddox out on a fast count and Maddox thinks it’s because he was just excited to be a referee. Maddox claims the fast count was unintentional. Mr. McMahon tells him not to apologize because he did the best he could. Brad Maddox thanks Mr. McMahon and wants a second chance. Maddox asks if he could be the referee in the John Cena vs. Daniel Bryan match at Summerslam.
Please don’t do this.
— Fun Bobby (@TimWelcomed) August 13, 2013
Mr. McMahon asks the WWE Universe if they want Brad Maddox to be the referee. The crowd boos and chants “NO.” Mr. McMahon asks Brad Maddox if he would call the match down the line and if he would stop calling Daniel Bryan names like dwarf and troll. Brad Maddox says he’d be impartial.
I hope Maddox wont be the ref for Cena/Bryan. HHH has to stop this somehow right? #wwe #raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) August 13, 2013
Mr. McMahon is about to make Brad Maddox the referee, but Triple H’s music plays.
My Wrestling spidey sense worked!
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) August 13, 2013
Suddenly I had a moment of Triple H related happiness and that… Is. Uhm. #RAW
— World War D (@Heinekenrana) August 13, 2013
This will be the only time ill say this, but THANK GOD HHH is here
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) August 13, 2013
Mr. McMahon says if Triple H is out here to air any dirty laundry, he should go to the back. Triple H assures that’s what he’s doing, but gets cut off by a Triple H chant. Mr. McMahon tells the WWE Universe not to feed his ego. Triple H plays up the fact that he couldn’t hear Mr. McMahon since 15,000 people were calling out his name.
Triple H’s Ego is As Loud As Vince’s Jacket.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 13, 2013
Triple H says that since there’s a lot on the line more than the WWE Championship, he agrees with Mr. McMahon that they need an impartial referee that will call the match right down the line and do what’s right.
Like a REGULAR REFEREE GUYS?
— Fun Bobby (@TimWelcomed) August 13, 2013
Triple H doesn’t think Brad Maddox is the right guy for the job. Triple H makes himself the Special Guest Referee in the John Cena vs. Daniel Bryan match, then hits Brad Maddox with the Pedigree.
LOL Maddox wasn’t expecting THAT one.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 13, 2013
That’s our GM, you guys.
— Finn, the human (@RitaHepburn) August 13, 2013
John Cena vs. Popular fan favourite with momentum with Triple H as referee. As long as Kevin Nash doesn’t stick the winner…
— Not Regal (@RegalSays) August 13, 2013
Match 04: Kane vs. Titus O’Neil
BOOM! Kane
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) August 13, 2013
Titus O Neil out here like “Maaaaaaaaaaan……….”
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 13, 2013
There’s No Fire Around the Ring Tonight. What’s Stopping Darren Young From Interfering? Oh Yeah: Fear.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 13, 2013
Winner: Kane
Between “Ain’t No Grave” and “Ring of Fire,” The Brothers of Destruction Really Like Johnny Cash.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 13, 2013
Post-Match, The Wyatt Family comes out.
They are here! Wyatt Family!
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) August 13, 2013
Is Kane actually going to leave the ring this time?
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 13, 2013
The lights turn back on and Kane is not in the ring.
LMAO Kane just walked by them. #wwe #Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) August 13, 2013
Finally! Kane learned to walk away while The Wyatt Family walked to the ring.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 13, 2013
Kane does his explosion trick and the ringpost goes up in flames.
After the “Ring of Fire” Match, There Will Be a “Ring of Sheep Masks” Match. People Wearing Those Sheep Masks Will Surround the Ring #Creepy
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 13, 2013
Backstage: Josh Mathews asks The Bella Twins about Natalya smacking Brie Bella last week and asks if tensions are rising in the Divas Lockeroom. The Bellas claim they’re in complete control of The Divas Division until Natalya interrupts and challenges Brie Bella to a match at Summerslam to prove who is the Queen of The Divas Divison. Natalya tells Brie Bella that she can bring Nikki Bella and Jessica Rabbit (AKA Eva Marie, who shows up out of nowhere)
Christy Hemme!?
— Diego Violence (@Miss_Dani_Baby) August 13, 2013
Eva Marie hanging around in the dark like a creep
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) August 13, 2013
Natalya tells Brie Bella that she’s bringing friends of her own, the Funkadactyls, Cameron and Naomi, who show up and say sassy catchphrases. Natalya tells Brie Bella that her makeup looks nice today and that you can barely see the welt Natalya left on Brie’s face from the slap last week. Brie says that she can see Natalya’s then delivers a slap of her own to Natalya. The Bellas and Eva Marie leave while The Funkadactyls hold Natalya back.
Even Nattie’s Trash Talk is Too Nice.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 13, 2013
C’mon Natalya, you could predict that slap from Brie a mile away. #RAW
— Stacey (@LittleSherbie) August 13, 2013
Finally, Nattie is getting her PPV match. Bad news? She’s facing a Bella. Good news? Naomi will be there. Bad news? Yeast infection.
— Shay Mitchell (@ShayLMitchell) August 13, 2013
Match 05: Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston
Last Week on #RAW THE WORLD CHAMPION MURDERED A GUY
— Dr. Jay Hankinstein (@Jayfuz) August 13, 2013
S.O.S! You know I’m JOBBIN’! S.O.S! Why am I tryinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn’ (I’m JOBBIN’!)
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 13, 2013
Is Ricardo going to come out and skip around the ring? #raw #please
— Victoria (@prettyheartless) August 13, 2013
C’Mon, Kofi! Unleash the WildCat!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 13, 2013
Kofi puts up a valiant effort, but still loses.
Winner: Alberto Del Rio
That was quite entertaining.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 13, 2013
Backstage: After watching a Christian Video Package, Renee Young asks Christian about his video package and facing Alberto Del Rio for the World Heavyweight Champion. Christian says this Sunday, he’ll beat Alberto Del Rio at Summerslam and become World Heavyweight Champion and prove all he needed was One. More. Match. Alberto Del Rio walks up and laughs at him and says something in Spanish. Del Rio taunts Christian with the belt then walks off.
Alberto Del Rio is smart. He knew Christian would have a witty comeback so he spoke trash in Spanish.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 13, 2013
Match 06: The Real Americans vs. The Usos
Cesaro wearing that flag as a cape is 10/10 #Raw #WETHEPEOPLE
— Tyler Edwards (@Und3rAverageJoe) August 13, 2013
OMG get Cesaro a full superhero outfit!
— Powerline (@Osito1034) August 13, 2013
Cesaro, it is good cape weather. Cool, breezy… #RAW
— Stacey (@LittleSherbie) August 13, 2013
Zeb Colter rants about Sacramento California.
Zeb Colter: Let me tell you about MY California Dream….*Sings* SURF DUDES! WITH ATTITUDES! Jack Swagger/Antonio Cesaro: KINDA GROOOOOVAY!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 13, 2013
Zeb….we all know that Sacremento sucks
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) August 13, 2013
I think The Usos’ entrance is the only thing longer than Christian trying to set up the Killswitch. #Raw
— thechrishaley (@thechrishaley) August 13, 2013
I Really Hope Jimmy Uso Does The Siva Tau at His Wedding to Naomi. #TotalDivas
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 13, 2013
Jey Uso: When I say US, YA’LL SAY O! US- Jimmy Uso: WHY WON’T YOU MARRY ME, NAOMI? Jey Uso: ….God damnit, Jimmy.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 13, 2013
Either Cesaro or Swagger should put a ring on, and take it off just to piss that Uso brother off
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) August 13, 2013
I Really Can’t Envision Zeb Colter as a Beige Super Mario.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 13, 2013
@KickStunner He Stomped Out The Oppression Caused By The Tyranny of King Koopa.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 13, 2013
JBL making Super Mario references makes me want a web series where JBL plays Mario games “GET OUT OF THERE PRINCESS. >.< GET OUT OF THERE!"
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 13, 2013
@KeepItFiveStar “We Final Fight on Friday Nights.” John-Bradshaw-Let’s Player.
— The Beast In Heat :3 (@Searching4Rinoa) August 13, 2013
Winners: The Usos
That finish was Sweet!
— Powerline (@Osito1034) August 13, 2013
I freaking love The Usos. ❤
— Finn, the human (@RitaHepburn) August 13, 2013
That Was a Nice Win For the Usos and a Nice Count By Mike “Mr. Consistent” Chioda!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 13, 2013
MizTV with Daniel Bryan and John Cena:
Will Miz actually host his own show this time? Will he be condescending to everyone? Will his lips look arrogant? Stay tuned.
— Fun Bobby (@TimWelcomed) August 13, 2013
If John Cena Comes Out in a Burgundy Shirt That Says: CHAMP! CHAMP! CHAMP! I’d Approve.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 13, 2013
The Miz introduces Daniel Bryan, then John Cena.
Nope. Same Old White T-Shirt. I Tried, John Cena.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 13, 2013
John Cena tells his BFF, Stu The Cameraman, that he looks different. It’s because Stu’s growing out a Daniel Bryan beard. Stu’s a DB guy now
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 13, 2013
The Miz tells John Cena and Daniel Bryan that Triple H will be the Special Guest Referee and asks for their thoughts. Bryan says that he thinks it’s great that someone stood up to Mr. McMahon and now he and John Cena can have the match that the WWE Universe wants to see. John Cena makes fun of MizTV then says that Triple H is competitor and that he can’t think of a better person to make sure this match will be called right down the middle.
“Usually MizTV is a Trainwreck of a Segment.” That Wasn’t a Back Handed Compliment, Cena. That was a Back Handed Five Knuckle Shuffle!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 13, 2013
Cena burying MizTV. +10000 #wwe #Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) August 13, 2013
The Miz brings up John Cena and Daniel Bryan’s rivalry going from friendly to personal. Miz asks Cena what are his real issues with Daniel Bryan. Cena claims it’s not like there and that for once there’s no underlying theme and that the issue is simply the WWE Championship. Cena says he hand-picked Daniel Bryan because he’s an athlete, competitor, and will put up one hell of a fight. The Miz tells Daniel Bryan that one “hell of a fight” is John Cena Code for he’s gonna lose.
“Hell of a Fight.” The Miz is Breaking Down the John Cena Lexicon for Daniel Bryan.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 13, 2013
The Miz tells Daniel Bryan that it’s obvious that John Cena picked Daniel Bryan as his opponent because he wanted to ride Daniel Bryan’s momentum and give himself an easy win and it’s Daniel Bryan says it’s obvious that if The Miz doesn’t stop talking in 2 seconds, Daniel Bryan will punch him in the face.
Yes, do it Bryan!
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) August 13, 2013
Daniel Bryan and Cena burying The Miz from all angles. Best Miztv ever. #wwe #Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) August 13, 2013
Remember when The Miz was WWE Champion and Daniel Bryan’s Mentor, who thought Bryan wouldn’t amount to anything?
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 13, 2013
Daniel Bryan tells John Cena that he doesn’t get why Cena and people like Cena think that the best he can do is put up a hell of a fight. Cena tries to correct himself, but Bryan screams “DON’T INTERRUPT ME!” Bryan says last week, John Cena came out here and did what he did best: Make explosive remarks to get the WWE Universe on their feet, regardless of them cheering or booing him. Bryan says that Cena saw that the red light was on and decided to grab the spotlight. Bryan tells Cena that the reason he doesn’t watch television is because of John Cena and people like Cena, in it for the glory and fame, but not the wrestling.
Daniel Bryan doesnt watch television because of John Cena. Me too! #wwe #Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) August 13, 2013
I kinda wish The Miz was wearing a shirt that said “The Miz Is Here.” He seems out of place without one.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 13, 2013
Daniel Bryan points to “The Beard Is Here” shirt and tells John Cena that the shirt of a parody of him because he thinks Cena is a parody of wrestling. Daniel Bryan says he doesn’t want to be a parody. He wants to be WWE Champion not for the fame or glory, but for one reason and one reason only. It proves that when he steps foot in this ring, there is nobody better than Daniel Bryan.
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! DANIEL BRYAN JUST CALLED JOHN CENA A PARODY OF WRESTLING!!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 13, 2013
Daniel Bryan Just Called John Cena More Style Than Substance and a Parody of Wrestling! Those are Big Words to a TV Watcher!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 13, 2013
I want to be the very best like no one ever was! #RAW
— World War D (@Heinekenrana) August 13, 2013
John Cena takes his shirt off….
Why is Cena’s first reaction to throw his hat and take his shirt off?
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) August 13, 2013
John Cena says Daniel Bryan almost got him with the “parody” line. Cena says he’s not a parody and the reason he’s out here is the same reason Daniel Bryan is out here. Cena tells Bryan that he thought Daniel Bryan would be smart enough to understand all the people chanting “YES!” or “NO!” are doing it because they believe in Daniel Bryan. Cena says when the fans believe in you, all it makes you wanna do is go out to the ring, sick, tired or hurt and put your body on the line as a way to say “I believe in you as much as you believe in me.”
Here comes Parody McPanderer trying to Pander to the wrestling fans again.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 13, 2013
John Cena, We Don’t Just Believe in Daniel Bryan. We Also Believe in WRESTLING!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 13, 2013
John Cena tells Daniel Bryan that the WWE is not about a spotlight, it’s about the people being able to come in, choose their favorite Superstar and have moments with their favorite Superstar. Cena brings up Daniel Bryan commenting on his t-shirt, then says that’s like saying the American Flag is just a cloth. Cena says that the t-shirt is about what the shirt represents: Loyalty. Cena says he’s been in hostile environement and that he has his critics, but as long as he has people who are there for him, he’ll fight for them and he’ll be loyal to them.
Did Cena just compare his shirt…to the American flag??? #wwe #raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) August 13, 2013
Ugh. Typical Cena.
— Shay Mitchell (@ShayLMitchell) August 13, 2013
Please cena, just stop. #wwe #RAW
— Katie Rose (@_katierose13) August 13, 2013
John Cena brings up the term parody again then calls Daniel Bryan out on calling him a parody and acting like the first person who’s made fun of the way Cena walks, talks and wrestles. Cena brings up some of his classic insults then says this has been going on for years and that Daniel Bryan won’t be the first and won’t be the last.
If he knows this, why is he still here? Just give in. Take your ball and go home.
— Shay Mitchell (@ShayLMitchell) August 13, 2013
Uh…John Cena? You got popular by BEING a parody of a white rapper. So…yeah.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 13, 2013
John Cena says he’s showed up every day for the past 12 years and busted his ass, not for people ike Daniel Bryan who don’t respect him, but for the kid in the front row, for his Dad, for the 7 year old Make-A-Wish Child, Dakota, then tells a story about the Make-A-Wish kid.
Come on, dude. Don’t bring Make-A-Wish into this. Don’t make us look like assholes.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 13, 2013
GDI Cena why did you have to bring the Make-A-Wish kids into it.. now I’m having emotions & remembering you’re a good dude. #Raw
— thechrishaley (@thechrishaley) August 13, 2013
My wish is that Cena would go home, permanently. Make that wish, Cena.
— Diego Violence (@Miss_Dani_Baby) August 13, 2013
Daniel Bryan meets Make-A-Wish kids too. The difference is HE doesn’t try and make us feel bad about it, Parody McPanderer.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 13, 2013
John Cena tells Daniel Bryan that he will always have critics and he should be proud of every single thing he accomplished here, but Bryan should be smart enough to know that John Cena is proud of what he’s done, who he is and what he’s come. John Cena say he’s become a man that’s spent the last 12 years wrestling all around the world. Cena says that sometimes they cheer and sometimes they boo, but he’s stood in front of those hostile environments in front of the biggest crowds and biggest Superstars, but the difference between Cena and Bryan is not parody, it’s that every one of those matches, Cena did it as the WWE Champion.
Wow. What a promo by John Cena. Man deserves a standing ovation. #wwe #raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) August 13, 2013
John Cena tells Daniel Bryan to keep thinking that he’s a parody and a joke because that’s what every one of Bryan’s peers thought, but he’s wrestled and beaten them all. Cena says he’s beaten Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Batista, Randy Orton, CM Punk and The Rock, but Daniel Bryan cuts him off saying that Cena talks about these people lke they are so much better than him. Cena tells Bryan that he’s on his way to greatness, but he can’t put Daniel Bryan in that class because he doesn’t BELONG in that class.
“I can’t put you in that class because you don’t BELONG in that class.” – John Cena, AKA The World’s Biggest Asshole.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 13, 2013
YOU DON’T BELONG IN THAT CATEGORY JOHN [MIDDLE NAME] CENA!
— Diego Violence (@Miss_Dani_Baby) August 13, 2013
You Had Everybody John Cena. And Then You Said Daniel Bryan Doesn’t Belong? NO! NO! NO!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 13, 2013
Not only does Daniel Bryan belong in that class, but he can teach that class. He can Welcome Back Kotter that Class.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 13, 2013
John Cena brings up Daniel Bryan’s “Respect The Beard” catchphrase, then says that respect isn’t given out, it’s earned. Cena tells Bryan that if he’s good enough to hold the WWE Championship Sunday, then and only then, will he earn John Cena’s respect. Daniel Bryan calls John Cena out on not only disrespecting him, but not treating this match as seriously as he did with Shawn Michaels or The Rock, because Cena respected those men. Bryan says John Cena held the WWE Championship 11 times so he can’t understand the desire or hunger that Bryan has for holding the WWE Championship just ONCE. Bryan says that for Cena, this is just another Summerslam, but for Bryan, this is the biggest match of his life.
So I guess Cena was lying when he stated he respected Daniel Bryan?
— Tom Queue Wood (@TomQWood) August 13, 2013
Daniel Bryan tells John Cena about a custom he used to do in Japan to hype the wrestlers up for big matches. It was a custom used to light the wrestler up so that they’d bring everything they had to that fight. Bryan says they’d take their hand and as hard as they can, they’d slap the wrestler in the face.
DO IT
— jeremy (@jeremyExiled) August 13, 2013
Ha thought Bryan was bout to talk about throwing streamers. How has WWE not used that yet?
— Zach Levine (@zmanjets86) August 13, 2013
The Miz is Looking On Like, “I Think Coral Did That To Me Once. Did She Train in Japan?”
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 13, 2013
Daniel Bryan says he wishes he could do the custom to John Cena right now, but he can’t because John Cena is not a wrestler and he doesn’t deserve it.
DAMN! This has been a great segment
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) August 13, 2013
DANIEL BRYAN IS BETTER THAN YOU, JOHN CENA! NO MATTER HOW MANY RIBERA JACKETS YOU HAVE!!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 13, 2013
The Miz is just standing there like the awkward guy at the party waiting for the right time to get in the conversation.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 13, 2013
John Cena slaps Daniel Bryan in the face then asks for Bryan to slap him. Daniel Bryan says John Cena doesn’t deserve it, but they’re interrupted by Triple H’s music. Randy Orton comes out next.
Triple H, The Miz, and Randy Orton walk into a ring…
— Fun Bobby (@TimWelcomed) August 13, 2013
HEY! You know what was great? 45 seconds ago, before Triple H and Randy Orton came out.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 13, 2013
GOODBYE RANDY NO ONE CARES YOU JUST RUINED THIS SMH
— ☀ (@brokahontas) August 13, 2013
Randy Orton holds up the briefcase as John Cena, Daniel Bryan and Triple H stare at him.
“When I cash in, you’ll never see it comin’.” – Randy Orton one month ago. “*Comes out and reminds everyone he’s cashing in*” – Orton today
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 13, 2013
A MizTV Segment Has Never Gone That Well So They Didn’t How to End It. #RAW
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 13, 2013
Match 07: Fandango vs. R-Truth
YESSSSSSS FAAAAAAAANDAAAAAAANGOOOOOOOOOO! #Raw
— Tyler Edwards (@Und3rAverageJoe) August 13, 2013
Why does Fandango look like a Flamboyant Kraven The Hunter?
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 13, 2013
R-Truth and Fandango get into a dance-off. Fandango attacks R-Truth.
Thank you Fandango!
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) August 13, 2013
R-Truth and his tired dance moves. #wwe #Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) August 13, 2013
R-Truth and Fandango brawl.
Just like in the hood. A dance-off turns into a fight.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 13, 2013
Winner: No Contest
This Ref is 0 – 2 Tonight. He Missed the Tap Out to the Sharpshooter and He Didn’t Call For the Bell!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 13, 2013
Post-Match, Fandango says his name.
Fandango! NOBODY is saying your name. Stop correcting us.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 13, 2013
Backstage: Curtis Axel asks Paul Heyman if he’s nervous. Paul Heyman says he’s having second thoughts about this.
That segment was only there to prove that Curtis Axel at least knows how to sit up straight. #wwe #raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) August 13, 2013
Match 08: #1 Contendership Battle Royal (Winner faces Dean Ambrose)
This battle royal will come down to RVD & Ryback to also determine who gets sole custody of the singlet artist they use. #Raw
— Tyler Edwards (@Und3rAverageJoe) August 13, 2013
Mark Henry Always Has a Look of Remorse On His Face Walking to the Ring. “Lord, Forgive Me For All The Wigs I’m About to Split.”
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 13, 2013
Did anybody see Gail Kim roll out of the ring as soon as the battle royal started?
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 13, 2013
Oh Man! The Ryback and The RVD are Fighting! The War for the Spray Painted Singlet Begins!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 13, 2013
Its singlet vs singlet. who has the best airbrush design?!
— Katie Rose (@_katierose13) August 13, 2013
Has Andre’s ghost been eliminated yet?
— Not Regal (@RegalSays) August 13, 2013
Kofi Kingston tries not to get eliminated in traditional Kofi fashion.
Kofi! That Was INSANE!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 13, 2013
Kofi always comes up with the most awesome ways to avoid hitting the floor in battle royals
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) August 13, 2013
Kofi Kingston gets eliminated. The Real Americans turn their attention to trying to eliminate Mark Henry, but fail. The Real Americans have been eliminated.
Zeb Colter’s plan for The Real Americans to “Separate The Whites From The Coloreds” in this battle royal has failed.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 13, 2013
The Real Americans Are No Match For the World’s Strongest American, Captain of the 1996 US Olympic Weightlifting Team!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 13, 2013
Worlds Strongest Man and RVD are the final two.
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) August 13, 2013
Winner: Rob Van Dam
That’s not Andre the Giant’s Ghost. #RAW
— World War D (@Heinekenrana) August 13, 2013
RVD VS AMBROSE SUNDAY!? Hell yeah!!!
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) August 13, 2013
Post-Match, Mark Henry and Rob Van Dam fist bump. The Shield’s music plays and they show up.
Shield! Come on Henry. Help RVD.
— Shay Mitchell (@ShayLMitchell) August 13, 2013
Mark Henry gets back in the ring.
Mark Henry’s got RVD’s back. Team RAW 2002 sticking together.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 13, 2013
I’ll never understand why wrestlers just wait for the Shield to walk down, acting like they can take them.
— ☀ (@brokahontas) August 13, 2013
*Loud RVD Chants* “I’m here too, ya’ll…” – Mark Henry
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 13, 2013
Suddenly, The Big Show’s music plays and Big Show makes his return!
Every time I hear the beginning of Big Show’s theme I feel like I’m in church. Weeeeeeelllllll
— ☀ (@brokahontas) August 13, 2013
The Big Show is back and he brought his casual wear! #WWE #Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) August 13, 2013
Big Show lost weight but didn’t have time to buy new clothes.
— jeremy (@jeremyExiled) August 13, 2013
Is Big Show wearing those Jared From Subway “Weight Loss Pants?”
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 13, 2013
The Shield flees the scene.
Big Show looked like a super scary Lowes shopper #wwe #raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) August 13, 2013
The Shield have beaten Big Show before. No need for them to act scared.
— Fun Bobby (@TimWelcomed) August 13, 2013
I Really Want To Call The Trio of Rob Van Dam, Mark Henry and The Big Show “Team Munchies.” Can We Do That?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 13, 2013
Match 09: Paul Heyman vs. CM Punk
Heyman needs a theme song. Starts off with… “my name is Paul Heyman” then music kicks in.
— Shay Mitchell (@ShayLMitchell) August 13, 2013
After mocking CM Punk chants, Paul Heyman says that Punk’s followers are calling for him. Heyman says that doesn’t blame CM Punk for the way he’s been acting. He blames the WWE Universe. Heyman claims Punk used to live for his love and adulation, but now CM Punk gets that from the WWE Universe. Heyman says the WWE Universe took CM Punk away from him, so he’s going to do the same to the WWE Universe.
Paul Heyman is Trying a New Trend: Suit and Taped Fists.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 13, 2013
Paul Heyman talks about the rumors of him setting a trap for CM Punk. Heyman admits he’s setting a trap. Heyman says that he didn’t think of the trap all by himself and that this is a conspiracy. Heyman says he had a co-conspirator and introduces him, his best friend in the world: Brock Lesnar.
Its not a trap if you tell the person you’re trapping that its a trap! Its an Invitation. #wwe #Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) August 13, 2013
For god’s sake, Brock, change your pants. #RAW
— Stacey (@LittleSherbie) August 13, 2013
Brock Lesnar comes out then Paul Heyman shows a videopackage of Brock Lesnar then admits that he’ll face CM Punk tonight IF Punk plays the hero and fights Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar. Heyman tells Punk that it’s a guaranteed beating for him if he plays the hero and does this. Heyman says that heroes are stupid because they don’t want to play the hero, but they do it anyway. Heyman says CM Punk has a choice. He could either come out or disappoint the WWE Universe and fight Brock Lesnar at Summerslam instead instead.
CM Punk’s not comin alone either, Heyman. He’s bringing Colt Cabana, Chris Hardwick and Lita with him!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 13, 2013
Paul Heyman asks CM Punk if he’s going to be the smart coward or stupid hero. CM Punk’s music plays but Punk doesn’t come out. CM Punk, dressed s a cameraman, attacks Brock Lesnar from behind with the camera!
Worst Trap Ever. #wwe #Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) August 13, 2013
Wait…CM Punk was Stu The Cameraman the WHOLE TIME? THAT’S why John Cena said Stu looks different!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 13, 2013
CM Punk beats Brock Lesnar with a camera, then hits him with a Suicide Dive.
CM Punk is Beating Up Brock Lesnar in High Definition! #RAW
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 13, 2013
Obviously Brock is on Punk’d. #raw
— Tom Queue Wood (@TomQWood) August 13, 2013
CM Punk turns his attention to Paul Heyman. Paul Heyman runs for his life. Curtis Axel tries to save him, but CM Punk attacks him then gives him the G.T.S. Afterwards, CM Punk has a staredown with Brock Lesnar.
Curtis Axle was expecting to accomplish…..what exactly?
— Randy Wilder (@InstantRandy) August 13, 2013
LOL Curtis Axel. Why? Why’d you even try? Go home.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 13, 2013
Curt Axel might as well be a Redshirt. #WWE #Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) August 13, 2013
Curtis Axel is the Bebop and Rocksteady of Paul Heyman Guys.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 13, 2013
CM Punk GTS’d Curtis Axel so hard that he’s gonna wake up and think he’s Michael McGillicutty again.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) August 13, 2013
So That Happened:
Well, that was a pretty damn good show I must say. #RAW
— Stacey (@LittleSherbie) August 13, 2013
Rocky start for RAW but I found it enjoyable.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 13, 2013
Tonights John Cena/Daniel Bryan segment is a perfect example of why I fell in love with wrestling all those years ago.
— Ken Tuccio (@RhymesWithPen) August 13, 2013