RAW begins with CM Punk and Paul Heyman walking out with the urn. CM Punk talks about The Undertaker’s undefeated streak and how people say Taker is unstoppable and unbeatable at Wrestlemania. Punk talks about the urn feeding The Undertaker power and calls all these myths stupid. Punk asks Paul Heyman and Paul Bearer who “they” are then says “they” doesn’t know what they’re talking about. Punk says everybody has opinions but the only opinion that matters is his because he turns his opinions into fact.
I guess CM Punk has visitation rights over Paul Heyman tonight.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 26, 2013
Well “They” Got At Least One Thing Right. They Did Call the Man Vader.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 26, 2013
#TheyThePeople
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 26, 2013
CM Punk says the streak should’ve ended with The Undertaker, Shawn Michaels and Triple H skipping off into the sunset, but Taker ruined it when he walked out a few weeks ago and pointed to Punk’s “Wrestlemania” signs. Punk says now The Undertaker’s streak is going to be re-written by a man that’s not afraid of the dark but by The Best In The World.
Undertaker didnt have The Urn during the American Badass years and look how that turned out. Give him his urn back! #wwe #raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) March 26, 2013
If That Wrestlemania Sign is CM Punk’s, Does That Mean for the Rest of the Year He Keeps It In the Fridge?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 26, 2013
CM Punk blames The Undertaker for all of this and says he didn’t take the urn to disrespect Paul Bearer, he took the it because it matters to The Undertaker. Punk says the urn doesn’t matter to him and drops it.
CM Punk Dropped the Urn! That’s a Wrestlemania Party Foul!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 26, 2013
CM Punk says for the first time in The Undertaker’s life, he’s at a psychological disadvantage because he’s scared. Punk says Taker could’ve gone 30-0 and 50-0 against any other Superstar, but he is CM Punk and there is nobody in the world better or smarter than him and nobody in the world that will beat him at Wrestlemania. Punk says he is the 1 in 20-1.
Would it be bad if I handled my job interview like how punk is doing this promo right now?
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) March 26, 2013
CM Punk calls out The Undertaker and mocks his “Rest In Peace” catchphrase. Punk says Rest is something he’s never been afforded and Peace is something he has never lived with. Punk claims at Wrestlemania, The Undertaker and his perfect record will Rest…In…Peac- GONG! The lights go out.
I Would Be Afraid to Turn Off the Lights EVER if The Undertaker Was Angry At Me.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 26, 2013
Amazing how nobody has thought of bringing a flashlight to the ring while in a feud with The Undertaker. #wwe #raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) March 26, 2013
The lights turn back on with The Undertaker beating the shit out of CM Punk! The Undertaker beats CM Punk down while Paul Heyman runs for his life.
Paul Heyman with the Fumble Recovery! #wwe #raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) March 26, 2013
LMAO, Paul Heyman is very familar with the game “Steal The Bacon”. That was a brilliant play after that scramble.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) March 26, 2013
CM Punk eventually escapes and stands at the top of the ramp staring down The Undertaker.
Taker came thisclose to taking Punk’s ear in exchange for the urn. I sort of like the idea of losing body parts til he gets it back. #RAW
— D. O’Brien (@Heinekenrana) March 26, 2013
Match 01: Fandango vs. ??
FANDANGO! Oh, No! His Pants are the Color of the Urn! Look Out, Fandango, Taker Might Come After You!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 26, 2013
And with what Fandango is wearing he seems to be auditioning for Men on a Mission: The Musical.
— Not Regal (@RegalSays) March 26, 2013
I swear Melina had those same pants. Can Fandango do the splits? (The Melina way, not the Xpac way) #Raw
— Victoria (@prettyheartless) March 26, 2013
I think saying Fandango is the most fun Lawler has had on commentary in years.
— Kara (@karaadora) March 26, 2013
Fandango gets attacked by Chris Jericho then runs away.
Chris Jericho with the WWE ’13 Cut Scene attack!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 26, 2013
LMAO Jericho legit SCARED him. He JUMPED to the ceiling.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) March 26, 2013
As Much As I Like Fandango, He Deprived Us Of Chris Jericho’s Light Up Jacket. That’s Not a Fair Trade!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 26, 2013
No one wanted to see Fandango fight Yoshi Tatsu anyway right? #wwe #raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) March 26, 2013
Match 01: Dolph Ziggler vs. Chris Jericho
Whoa! It’s Like a Parade of Talented Wrestlers Coming Out Right Now! Fandango, Y2J, Dolph Ziggler… Where’s Alex Riley to Break the Streak?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 26, 2013
AJ Lee, I haven’t said this in a while since Nicki Minaj ruined the phrase, but #VaVaVoom !
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 26, 2013
Big E. Langston Legit Tried to Swat Jericho Out of the Air. You Can’t Dikembe 2 Weeks In a Row, Big E! That is Not What They Pay You For!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 26, 2013
Winner: Chris Jericho
And a win for Jericho with the Liontamer!
— Not Regal (@RegalSays) March 26, 2013
Post-match, Big E Langston attacks Chris Jericho. Fandango and #FandangoGirl come in the ring. Fandango dances over Chris Jericho. Fandango dances over Chris Jericho.
I don’t want him to attack, I want him to dance. #WWE #Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) March 26, 2013
LMAO DISRESPECT
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) March 26, 2013
Dancing Over Your Fallen Opponent, Fandango? That’s a BOLD Move.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 26, 2013
Fandango kicks Chris Jericho then attacks him. A “You Can’t Wrestle” Chant breaks out.
His name isn’t You Can’t Wrestle guys.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) March 26, 2013
You can’t wrestle chant. HOW WOULD ANY OF YOU KNOOOOOOOOOOW. #RAW
— D. O’Brien (@Heinekenrana) March 26, 2013
In Fandango’s defense, nobody in that crowd can wrestle, either. They probably couldn’t even do a pushup without collapsing. #WWE #Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) March 26, 2013
Fandango hits a Flying Leg Drop on Chris Jericho then leaves.
Great. Now Fandango’s Theme is Going to Be In My Head for the Rest of the Night …
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 26, 2013
It must be so humiliating to hear Fandango’s Game Show/I Dream Of Jeanie music after getting your ass kicked.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 26, 2013
Tell you one thing: When Fandango and Chris Jericho actually wrestle there is going to be sweat and glitter all over the place. #wwe #raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) March 26, 2013
Chris Jericho Needs to Be Accompanied by Stacy Keibler at Wrestlemania 29 to Exact Revenge on Fandango
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 26, 2013
Fandango is going to do a dance to Destiny’s Child “Say My Name” as his special Wrestlemania Entrance.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 26, 2013
Backstage: Matt Striker asks Sheamus if he and Randy Orton trust The Big Show, but Sheamus gets attacked by The Shield. Randy Orton saves Sheamus but gets attacked until The Big Show makes the save.
You Know, You’d Think Sheamus or Randy Orton Would’ve Learned By Now to Not Go Anywhere without Backup. It’s been 3 Months of Beatdowns!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 26, 2013
You’re trying to tell me Sheamus, Cena and Ryback couldn’t do it but Sheamus, Orton and Big Show CAN?
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) March 26, 2013
Seth Rollins is The Shield’s martyr.
— darth vader ◠‿◠✿(@RitaHepburn) March 26, 2013
Match 02: Mark Henry vs. The Usos
All Mark Henry is going to see in the ring is that kid who broke his weightlifting record. #WWE #Raw Or well, two of’im.
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) March 26, 2013
Jimmy Uso: Are we really gonna face Mark Henry?Jey Uso: Don’t worry. Cousin Dwayne will be at RAW tonight. HE’LL help us win this match!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 26, 2013
Looks Like Mark Henry Confused Jimmy and Jey Uso with Stansky and Rosenberg.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 26, 2013
Winner: Mark Henry
Wait. Never mind. They’re They Are.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 26, 2013
Post-Match, Mark Henry continues his attack on The Usos.
“That’s What I Do” Sounds Like the Black Version of that WWE Film Randy Orton Was In, “That’s What I Am.” “Like Love Don’t Cost a Thing!”
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 26, 2013
Mark Henry: “Nobody Splash Me!!!” – I will never invite him to a pool party. #wwe #raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) March 26, 2013
Match 03: Alberto Del Rio vs. Antonio Cesaro
“Sammy Vato. What’s wrong with this chair? It’s red!” – Antonio Cesaro’s theme.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 26, 2013
“They Took My Flag, They Took My Jacket, They Took My Man Purse, But I’m STILL US Champion!” – Antonio Cesaro
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 26, 2013
Look at RicRod! Still comin’ into work. Just like a true Mex-err..Professional.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 26, 2013
Look at RicRod Fighting Through the Pain. Mexican Virgil is WAY Better Than Virgil.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 26, 2013
Jack Swagger attacks RicRod’s ankle.
JACK SWAGGER, NO. #RAW
— D. O’Brien (@Heinekenrana) March 26, 2013
C’Mon, Swagger! Attacking an Innocent Bystander is Such an UnAmerican Thing to Do! Leave That to Lance Storm, Test, Christian and Regal!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 26, 2013
RicRod’s screams sound like the beat from the 90’s song “It Takes Two.”
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 26, 2013
Alberto Del Rio attacks Jack Swagger!
Not only is Alberto Del Rio pissed at Jack Swagger for attacking RicRod, but he’s also furious that Swagger got a new shirt but he didn’t.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 26, 2013
God I hope Ricardo is okay at WM and rises up righteously and beats the living crap out of Zeb. #RAW
— D. O’Brien (@Heinekenrana) March 26, 2013
Winner: Antonio Cesaro (via Countout)
Congratulations to Antonio “A Win is a Win” Cesaro. One More Victory Closer to Wrestlemania 29 … Fan Axxess.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 26, 2013
Post-match, Alberto Del Rio attacks Antonio Cesaro then puts him in the Cross Armbreaker.
C’mon, Del Rio! Cesaro did nothing to you!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 26, 2013
Alberto Del Rio’s music plays:
…Awww. You can’t stay mad at Del Rio with that new music. #DelRioDanceParty
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 26, 2013
You know your theme song must be good if it makes white people want to shimmy. Good work, Del Rio. #Raw
— Victoria (@prettyheartless) March 26, 2013
Match 04: Team Hell No vs. The Prime Time Players
If Team Hell No Beats Up The Prime Time Players and Mark Henry Made the Usos Singular, Who Will Big E. and Ziggy Beat on Smackdown?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 26, 2013
Dolph Ziggler, Big E. Langston and AJ Lee come out to watch the match.
I Guess This Match Needed a Blindfold or a Hand Tied Behind the Back to Get The Crowd Interested.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 26, 2013
Winners: Team Hell No
Remember When Titus O’Neil Used to “Make It a Win?” What Happened?!?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 26, 2013
Post-Match, Team Hell No have a staredown with Dolph Ziggler, Big E. Langston and AJ Lee.
I hope it’s revealed that AJ has been seeing Vince McMahon behind Dolph’s back and she seduced him by barking like a dog. #Raw
— Victoria (@prettyheartless) March 26, 2013
Triple H Speaks:
You Just KNOW Triple H Says “Time to Play The Game” At Home ALL THE TIME. Doing Dishes? Laundry? Mowing the Lawn? TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 26, 2013
I imagine Triple H doing his water thing all the time at home.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) March 26, 2013
Why does Triple H look around like he doesn’t know where he is? You’ve been doing this entrance for like 13 years
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 26, 2013
Triple H says for the first time ever, he goes into a situation for if he loses, he’s never allowed to compete in this ring again and that his career is over. Triple H says if you go to the ring facing Brock Lesnar thinking your career is not over, then you already lost. Triple H says Brock Lesnar can end your career at any moment and that is a fact. Triple H says he’s had a 20 year career and fought in this ring like his life and his career depended on it.
Triple H actually DID wrestle when his life depended on it. Rob Van Dam damn near killed him at the Elimination Chamber.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 26, 2013
If Triple H Loses at Wrestlemania, Then Triple H’s Career is Over. But Tera Ryzin’s Is Just Picking Up!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 26, 2013
Triple H tells Brock Lesnar to fight like his career and life depends on it. Triple H says he’s not coming to Wrestlemania to win or to fight, he’s coming to kick Brock Lesnar’s ass.
Stipulations are rarely fun anymore. What about “Loser has to come out to Nickelback” or “Loser has to mentor Alex Riley” #Raw
— Victoria (@prettyheartless) March 26, 2013
Triple H is interrupted by Wade Barrett.
Wade…WHUT are you doing? After the commercial break you’re gonna see Wade Barrett in the ring, flat-backed with no title.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) March 26, 2013
Wade Barrett comes out to wrestle, but Triple H kicks him in the balls then walks off.
Wade Barrett: *Walks out* Oh, Hunter’s in my way. Excuse me, boss. May I please go wrestle? *Gets kicked then falls* >.< AHH DEAD MAN DOWN!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 26, 2013
Eff that, Wade Barrett should’ve waited, wasn’t your turn. Learn your place.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) March 26, 2013
Triple H backstage after kicking Barrett in the nuts: “You see that?! I started a feud! Now I can’t possibly end my career at ‘Mania!” #Raw
— Jake Jones (@Batman_Infinite) March 26, 2013
Match 05: The Miz vs. Wade Barrett
So The Miz Can’t Do a Figure Four But Has an Entire Repertoire Ready for Legally Striking Someone In the Crotch?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 26, 2013
You don’t have to take this, Wade Barrett! Take your balls and go home!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 26, 2013
Chill Miz, you might rupture Barrett’s anus. *Xpac unfollows me* Oh come on, Sean. You did this to yourself.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) March 26, 2013
You don’t have to take this, Wade Barrett! Take your balls and go home!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 26, 2013
Look at Wade Barrett, Coming Back From Serious Injury! He’s Like the RicRod of England!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 26, 2013
This is Future World Champion material from Wade Barrett. Finishing the match. Sore balls and all. What a trooper! #Hero
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 26, 2013
Wade Barrett lands on the ropes balls first.
Aw Man! Nothing’s Worse Than Rope Burn on Your Bangers and Mash. Right, Wade Barrett?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 26, 2013
This is too much pressure on Barrett’s gooch.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) March 26, 2013
Wade Barrett’s balls are having the worst night ever. #wwe #raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) March 26, 2013
Winner: The Miz
This match was a long way to go for a ball joke.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 26, 2013
You can say Miz was… Saved by the balls. #Raw 🙏
— Victoria (@prettyheartless) March 26, 2013
Backstage: Daniel Bryan tells Kane that he needs to be focused and have his mental faculties. Kane tells Bryan to drop the “I Needs” because he knows what he’s doing. Bryan says Kane knows what he’s doing against the Prime Time Players, but Dolph Ziggler and Big E. Langston are different because they have “She Who Shall Not Be Named” with them. Bryan tells Kane he goes nuts everytime AJ’s around and the two argue until Kaitlyn interrupts them.
AJ’s Seven Evil Exes are getting together on this episode of #Raw.
— Chris Sims(@theisb) March 26, 2013
Kaitlyn tells Team Hell No that AJ screwed all of them over, but her advice is to move on. Bryan says it’s easy for Kaitlyn to say this since AJ hasn’t targeted Kaitlyn’s title at Wrestlemania. Kaitlyn goes over her history of dealing with AJ and her relationships while AJ lurkes and watches them. Kaitlyn tells Daniel Bryan and Kane that if they want to keep their titles at Wrestlemania, they have to accept the new AJ. Kaitlyn runs down AJ until AJ attacks her, throws Kaitlyn into a water fountain until Daniel Bryan and Kane break them up.
Oh no! AJ tossed Kaitlyn right into that water fountain!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 26, 2013
Kaitlyn’s Storylines Inexplicably Involve Water. She & Cody Chat Over Water Bottles; AJ Rammed Her Into the Water Fountain. Is She Aqualass?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 26, 2013
I cant feel sorry for Kaitlyn. Thats what you get for talking about somebody behind their back. #wwe #raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) March 26, 2013
Match 06: The Shield vs. Zack Ryder, Justin Gabriel, The Great Khali
I just know Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins talk about how awkward Roman Reigns is while they’re walking down the steps together.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 26, 2013
I like how Rollins just looked in Reigns’ direction and yelled and Reigns looked back.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) March 26, 2013
Winners: The Shield
That match didn’t even need to happen.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) March 26, 2013
The Shield looks like a group that messes up all the Z Warriors before Goku arrives and cleans house.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 26, 2013
Post-Match, The Shield jumps Khali then hits the Triple Power Bomb on him.
The Shield Triple Powerbombed Khali! I’m surprised it didn’t leave a Khali sized imprint in the ring.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 26, 2013
That’s what Roman Reigns has been looking forward too all night.He’s been waiting for that triple powerbomb on Khali.He’ll sleep well tonite
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) March 26, 2013
I’m Pretty Sure Natalya Could Take Out a Member of the Shield By Herself. Rollins, Definitely. Maybe Ambrose.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 26, 2013
Sheamus, Randy Orton and Big Show interrupt then brawl with The Shield.
You Know Guys, It’s Okay if The Ryback Helps You Beat Up the Shield BEFORE Wrestlemania. It’s Just on the Day, He’s Busy.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 26, 2013
LMFAO Khali is still out on the floor
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) March 26, 2013
Backstage: Chris Jericho walks out of Vickie Guerrero’s office and Josh Mathews asks him what it was about. Jericho says when you’re in the WWE as long as he is, you become a target. Fandango has attacked him not once but twice and it means nothing. But Jericho says thanks to Vickie Guerrero, it is going to be Chris Jericho vs. Fandango at Wrestlemania! But now that the bullseye is on Fandango’s forehead, he will never, EVER be the same again.
Jericho puttin’ wrestlers over, as usual. In matches and in promos. #GoodGuyJericho
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) March 26, 2013
Chris Jericho Gets Black Eyes So Easily. Good Thing In His Day Job, Guyliner is Mandatory.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 26, 2013
Jericho’s eye was sporting laker colors. #wwe #raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) March 26, 2013
Match 07: Team Rhodes Scholars vs. Brodus Clay and Tensai
Damien Sandow and Cody Rhodes A.K.A Cell and Frieza. #DBZ#WWE
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) March 26, 2013
Damien Sandow says he’s in the city of brotherly love. A city that is famous for greasy sandwiches and a stadium that has an actual prison in it. Sandow says fear not, Team Rhodes Scholars has a gift for Philadelphia. Cody Rhodes introduces The Bella Twins!
#TeamRhodesSchellas
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 26, 2013
Naomi, though.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) March 26, 2013
Damien Sandow is Interested in the Bella Twins for Biological Reasons. Monozygotic Twins Are a Hobby of His.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 26, 2013
Brodus Clay with his mock Superman gear. Superman wouldn’t have a giant F on his chest. …Or a giant disco ball.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 26, 2013
Naomi and Cameron attack The Bellas.
You just got bodied by a pom pom.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) March 26, 2013
Cody Rhodes takes advantage and hits the Beautiful Disaster on Brodus Clay.
UH! Good Job, CODY!
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) March 26, 2013
I’m really liking this Survivor Series Team of Team Rhodes Scholars and Sexy Demolition.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 26, 2013
Winners: Team Rhodes Scholars
Although I do miss Cody Rhodes and Kaitlyn. As the kids say, I *Takes out reading glasses and reads Tumblr* “Ship” …them?
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 26, 2013
Match 08: Ryback vs. 3MB
Ryback and Mark Henry with their high school rivalry.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) March 26, 2013
Hey, When Did 3MB Remember That They Were Wrestlers First and a Fictional Rock Band Second? They’re Taking It to The Ryback!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 26, 2013
Winner: Ryback
Post-Match, it’s announced Ryback and Mark Henry will compete in a Weight Lifting Competition.
Wait. So The Ryback is Going to Face FORMER CAPTAIN OF THE US OLYMPIC WEIGHTLIFTING TEAM MARK HENRY in a WEIGHTLIFTING CONTEST? Makes Sense
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 26, 2013
Match 09: AJ Lee vs. Kaitlyn
#LetsLightItUp !
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 26, 2013
Aw, I Missed Hearing AJ’s Theme On RAW.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 26, 2013
Kaitlyn and Seth Rollins even dress the same. They could switch like The Olsens in It Takes Two and we’d never know. #Raw
— Victoria (@prettyheartless) March 26, 2013
I think Kaityn just killed AJ.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 26, 2013
AJ Lee has gone to the Dolph Ziggler school of selling.
— Chris Riddle (@ChrisRiddle) March 26, 2013
Kaitlyn tries to spear AJ but AJ Lee moves out of the way and she hits the barricade.
Oh No! AJ Moved Out of the Way! She Used Her Tiny Adorable Frame to Her Advantage!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 26, 2013
@donnybrookboys There is Nothing Adorable about Rey Mysterio.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 26, 2013
Winner: AJ Lee via countout
AJ Lee pressed R2 at the right time to counter that one!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 26, 2013
OBVIOUSLY THIS NOW MAKES AJ THE NUMBER 1 CONTENDER
— Chris Riddle (@ChrisRiddle) March 26, 2013
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For the Spider-Man Meme Fans |
John Cena and The Rock Debate:
Jerry Lawler says that John Cena and The Rock will answer questions from WWE Hall Of Famers and Superstars. Jerry Lawler introduces Booker T, Mick Foley, Dusty Rhodes then Bret Hart.
The crowd isn’t cheering because They’re not sure if that Foley. He’s in a suit.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) March 26, 2013
That White Guy was feelin’ Dusty Rhodes theme music
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 26, 2013
BRET! Looking GOOD, Hitman.
— darth vader ◠‿◠✿(@RitaHepburn) March 26, 2013
“This next guy is a 2 time WCW Champion, 5 Time WWE Champion, and he thinks Triple H vs. Undertaker was a 4/10. Bret Hart!” – Jerry Lawler
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 26, 2013
BRET! I Hope He Asks The Rock To Apply The Sharpshooter!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 26, 2013
Bret Hart’s hair went grey real quick. He’s lookin like Canadian Sephiroth.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 26, 2013
Will always turn into a 7 yr old when Bret appears. No shame.
— Kara (@karaadora) March 26, 2013
Jerry Lawler introduces The Rock then John Cena.
Well look who FINALLY showed up to work two weeks late!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 26, 2013
I Hope The Rock and John Cena Don’t Have to Sing. That’d Be The Worst Version of The Voice Ever.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 26, 2013
John Cena tells his BFF, Stu The Cameraman that “We’re almost there.” Stu The Cameraman falls backwards blinded by John Cena’s bright shirt.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 26, 2013
Yep, that shirt is still horrifying. Rave is over, Cena. Deal with it.
— Kara (@karaadora) March 26, 2013
U Can’t C Him, so long as you pay no attention the fact that his shirt is in Safety Yellow. #WWE #Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) March 26, 2013
Pineapple soda lookin’ ass.
— FreeKickStunner (@FreeKickStunner) March 26, 2013
Jerry Lawler says that each legend will have a chance to ask a question to either The Rock or John Cena. Once that person responds, the other person can respond when they’re finished. Mick Foley is up first.
‘John, would you ever hit someone 15 times in the head with a chair and never apologize?” – Mick Foley
— Jen (@swaggeroffools) March 26, 2013
Here’s to hoping Bret Hart just decides to rant about Triple H instead of asking questions.
— George H. Scubb (@TimWelcomed) March 26, 2013
Mick Foley talks about letting The Rock down at Wrestlemania 20 and feeling regret for losing the match. Foley says he felt a weight lifted off his shoulders when The Rock beat John Cena at Wrestlemania. Foley asks Cena if he is prepared to live with the regret of losing twice to The Rock.
Apparently, Both The Rock and John Cena Failed the First Question: They Didn’t Suit Up.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 26, 2013
John Cena says April 7th will be historic because whether he wins or loses, it will change the face of the WWE forever. If he wins, he gets the WWE Championship and Redemption. Cena says last year, losing was not an option, but this year it is an option. Cena compares losing to Donovan McNabb not winning the big one and if he loses again, he will carry Cena claims he’ll carry the legacy of Donovan McNabb with him because he will never be able to win the big one.
*Cena makes popular sports reference* “……….” – Me with no response. “Um…And that that time Ken lost to Ryu” – Cena “BOOOOO!!!!!”- Me
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) March 26, 2013
You’d think Cena never won a title match before.
— FreeKickStunner (@FreeKickStunner) March 26, 2013
John Cena, you’ve won like 300 Big Ones. Donovan McNabb your ass to the back and shut up!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 26, 2013
Meanwhile, Donovan McNabb is Home Eating a Bowl of Campbell’s Soup Wondering Why A Guy In a Yellow Shirt Keeps Saying His Name.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 26, 2013
John Cena says that he can handle failure, unlike The Rock, who has never experienced failure. The Rock responds to this by telling the sad story of Rocky Maivia and the triumphant story of The Rock
Don’t say Rock doesn’t know failure, John. A life story will begin ………. Yep there it is
— Natasha(@sailornatasha) March 26, 2013
The Rock vows to whoop John Cena’s ass at Wrestlemania.
Let me tell you something John Cena the Rock has CATCHPHRASES and LOCAL FOODSTUFFS and WRESTLEMANIA!
— Chris Sims(@theisb) March 26, 2013
Bret Hart just made a face when The Rock said he was the Greatest of All Time. “Eh.”
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 26, 2013
Bret Hart’s up next. Bret mentions last year’s bad blood between The Rock and John Cena and how it reminds him of himself and Shawn Michaels in Montreal. Bret says there doesn’t seem to be anymore bad blood and wants to know what happened.
LMAO! Classic Bret. Always bringing it back to Montreal…while yelling at all of us.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 26, 2013
“For a second this didn’t involve me so let me relate it to something that definitely involves me.” — Bret Hart
— Chris Sims(@theisb) March 26, 2013
Bret Hart should have a 4/10 Scorecard and hold it up after everything The Rock and John Cena says.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 26, 2013
I Love How Bret Hart Just Said, “Look. We Don’t Need Any More Bret/Shawns. That Was Clearly The Best of All Time. Let’s Move On.”
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 26, 2013
The Rock says what changed was John Cena took his loss like a man and he respects that. John Cena responds by saying he respects The Rock after Rock called Cena’s bluff. Cena says in 13 days, we’ll see how The Rock handles his loss.
If you’ll notice, Cena just dropped into Serious Southie Accent Cena. #WWE #Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) March 26, 2013
Booker T’s up next. Booker T says he’s the only person who fought The Rock and John Cena in the ring and wants to know why John Cena thinks he can beat The Rock. Cena says “Because I have to” and tears up.
John Cena is like a baby that got his pacifier taken away.
— George H. Scubb (@TimWelcomed) March 26, 2013
The Rock gets mad at the answer and tells John Cena to “Wipe a monkey’s ass” with “I have to” and tells John Cena to tell the truth.
You can’t wipe anything with that, Rock.
— George H. Scubb (@TimWelcomed) March 26, 2013
John Cena shifts gears completely and says that The Rock didn’t beat him and that he can’t beat him. John Cena beat John Cena. Cena says he made one bad decision. Cena says for 10 years he’s been coming out with half the crowd liking him while the other half hates him, but The Rock is the only person to cloud his judgment enough to make a stupid decision. Cena says he had The Rock beat and handled the best Rock delivered, but Cena screwed himself by using The People’s Elbow. Cena claims that will never happen again and this year at Wrestlemania, he’s going to do things his way on his terms because he knows he is better than The Rock and that The Rock knows he’s better than The Rock.
Cena screwed Cena? “Now, This is Something I Can Relate To!” – Bret Hart
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 26, 2013
Who is THIS guy in the Yellow Shirt and WHAT has he done with John Cena? I like this guy!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 26, 2013
The Rock has that Mitt Romney expression. He’s looking at him intensely, but not paying attention to a word he’s saying.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) March 26, 2013
“The Rock KNOWS that I’m BETTER. THAN THE ROCK.” – John Cena”Heartfelt Speech? …Enh. 4/10″ – Bret Hart
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 26, 2013
The Rock tells John Cena that if Cena had Rock beat, he would’ve beaten won. Rock tells his version of the story then quotes Ric Flair’s “To be the man….Wooooo! You’ve got to beat the man.” The Rock says John Cena Can’t Be The Man because he Can’t Beat The Man and he will never, and The Rock means ever, Be The Man.
Rock is kissing so much ass. #Lips2Asses
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) March 26, 2013
The Rock’s Quoting Ric Flair? Well. He Just Lost The Canadian Judge. AND The American Dream Judge.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 26, 2013
Dusty Rhodes says Wrestlemania isn’t about respect or redemption, it’s about winning or losing and that there are no guarantees in this business. Rhodes says sometimes you don’t always get what you want and sometimes what you want is not always what you get. Dusty asks The Rock and John Cena what do they REALLY want at Wrestlemania.
Is there a GPS voiced by Dusty yet? I think there should be.
— Kara (@karaadora) March 26, 2013
John Cena says he wants to win The Big One and Dominate The Rock. Cena wants The Rock to be looking up at the open air sky at Metlife Stadium realizing that John Cena belongs in the WWE and that John Cena is better than The Rock. Cena wants to hand The Rock a loss so devastating that it will haunt him for the rest of his life.
John Cena wants to dominate The Rock…save that for Wrestlemania XXX: The Porn Parody.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 26, 2013
You could see the need to make a homophobic joke in The Rock’s eyes when Cena said he wanted to dominate him.
— George H. Scubb (@TimWelcomed) March 26, 2013
Cena, If The Rock Lays There Looking Up at the Sky at the MetLife Stadium, He Might Get Hypothermia. It’ll Be Cold At Night!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 26, 2013
The Rock says the day after Wrestlemania, he will wake up still the WWE Champion while John Cena stuffs himself with Fruity Pebbles asking himself why he couldn’t get the job done again. The Rock tells John Cena to prove The Rock and the World wrong at Wrestlemania or he could prove The Rock wrong right now.
There we go! Now it’s heatin’ up.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 26, 2013
The Rock and John Cena get face to face. John Cena does the “You Can’t See Me” taunt to The Rock but The Rock shoves him. Cena goes for the AA but The Rock counters with The Rock Bottom.
THE ROCK DELIVERING A FLAWLESS BOOK END, A GREAT TRIBUTE TO THE NEWLY INDUCTED HALL OF FAMER, BOOKER T
— THE ULTIMATE MARK (@ULTIMATEMARKOUT) March 26, 2013
The Rock takes his title and leaves the ring, leving John Cena on the floor.
Booker T just Walked Over to John Cena and said, “Maaan, Same Thing Happened to Me.”
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 26, 2013
Cena in the ring with the “I thought I had him when I did the “you can’t see me” gesture? What happened?” face.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) March 26, 2013
@3manbooth “4/10” – Bret Hart
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 26, 2013
So That Happened:
Cena was MAD tonight. I liked it.
— darth vader ◠‿◠✿(@RitaHepburn) March 26, 2013
I have never ever ever wanted Cena to win a match so badly.
— Chris Riddle (@ChrisRiddle) March 26, 2013
John Cena’s excuse for his loss to The Rock tmblr.co/Zuw2quh8Ku4i
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 26, 2013