RAW begins with Vickie Guerrero announcing John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio tonight in a Champions vs. Champions Match.
John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio. It’s RAW’s Christmas Main Event in July!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 2, 2013
The Money In The Bank All-Stars:
Daniel Bryan walks out with a new shirt!
Wait is that a new Daniel Bryan shirt?! #Raw
— Chris Sims (@theisb) July 2, 2013
Bryan’s shirt. Must. Have. #RawTonight
— Dani (@JacksGuiltyPlea) July 2, 2013
I love Bryan’s shirt!!
— Bill S. Preston, Esq (@Miss_Dani_Baby) July 2, 2013
That Shirt Is Awesome! Daniel Bryan: The Beard and the Bold.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 2, 2013
I won’t settle down until I own that Daniel Bryan tshirt. #raw #respectthebeard
— Arya Stark (@prettyheartless) July 2, 2013
TO SHOPZONE! #Raw
— Chris Sims (@theisb) July 2, 2013
Daniel Bryan says last week, the question that was on everyone’s mind was finally answered: Is Daniel Bryan the Weak Link? Bryan says the question was answered after making Randy Orton tap last week: “NO! NO! NO!” Bryan brings up a new question: Can Daniel Bryan ride the wave of momentum and win the WWE All-Stars Money In The Bank and win a WWE Championship Contract. Bryan ponders a 3 letter word to answer that question then starts chanting “YES!” with the WWE Universe. Daniel Bryan tells the WWE Universe that he wants to be WWE Champion and follow in the footsteps of the greats like Bruno Sammartino, Hulk Hogan, Steve Austin, The Rock then adds his name to the list.
Boos for Hogan and The Rock? Justified.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) July 2, 2013
Daniel Bryan reminds us that 2 years ago, he won the Money In The Bank and successfully cashed in to became World Heavyweight Champion, but thinks it’s been far too long since he’s been Champion. Bryan says just because this MITB is filled with All Stars, doesn’t mean he can’t repeat himself. Bryan says he will be WWE Champion until #ScumbagSheamus interrupts.
Speaking of justified boos, here’s Sheamus. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) July 2, 2013
#ScumbagSheamus has to come in and ruin everything
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 2, 2013
You Didn’t Get the Memo, #ScumbagSheamus? Beards Are In; Weird Devil Goatees are Out!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 2, 2013
#ScumbagSheamus comes out and reminds Daniel Bryan, despite Bryan’s wishes, that he beat him for the World Heavyweight Championship in 18 Seconds.
And there it is. #WWE #Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) July 2, 2013
Leave D Bry alone #ScumbagSheamus!
— Melisandre Baratheon (@RitaHepburn) July 2, 2013
Sheamus is the kind of dude to just show up to a party he’s not invited to and act like he’s cool and everyone likes him.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) July 2, 2013
#ScumbagSheamus says he’s not going to say he’s going to win in the Money In The Bank All-Stars Match in 18 Seconds, but it’s been far too long since he’s been a Champion and he’s going to win. Bryan asks #ScumbagSheamus that if he called 1-800-Fella, would #ScumbagSheamus be able to Brogue Kick himself in the face. #ScumbagSheamus commends Bryan on having a sense of humor then calls him a troll until calls Randy Orton interrupts.
Both Randy Orton and Sheamus are Trying to Grow Beards to Be More Like Daniel Bryan. It’s More Than the Beard, Guys. It’s The Wrestling.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 2, 2013
Randy Orton reminds us that he hasn’t been a champion for almost two years. Orton says he’s not hungry, he’s starving and and that a starving man takes what he needs. Orton says he needs the WWE Title. Orton says once he wins the WWE Championship, he will not hesitate to cash it in.
Give Randy a sandwich! Or a cookie!
— Melisandre Baratheon (@RitaHepburn) July 2, 2013
*hands Randy Orton a crapton of turkey jerky* #RAW
— D. O’Brien (@Heinekenrana) July 2, 2013
Daniel Bryan tells Randy Orton that he knows he wants to be WWE Champion, but he also knows that last week, he made Randy Orton tap out. After a “You Tapped Out” chant, Orton tells Bryan that if he disrespects him one more time, he will drop him where he stands. Orton admits to being desparate, but that means in 2 weeks at Money In The Bank, no one is safe. Orton is interrupted by Kane’s fire.
Daniel Bryan reminding Randy Orton that he tapped out to him. Who’d have thought they’d hear that?
— Not Regal (@RegalSays) July 2, 2013
No music, Kane?
— Tesha Wyatt (@HEELcanadian) July 2, 2013
Did that seem weird to anyone else to just have the flame and no music? #RAWTonight
— Dani (@JacksGuiltyPlea) July 2, 2013
Kane agrees with Randy Orton that no one is safe, especially Orton. Kane says no one in the history in the WWE has been more ruthless than him, especially when the WWE Championship is involved. Kane says he has no problems committing unspeakable acts against his opponents, even his so called friends.
“Remember that one time I electrocuted Shane McMahon?” – Kane, basically. #RAW
— D. O’Brien (@Heinekenrana) July 2, 2013
Daniel Bryan calls Kane out on looking at him weird then tells Kane that unlike Bryan, he couldn’t beat Randy Orton on Smackdown. Kane says he can’t wait for the MITB All Stars Ladder Match because it’s every man for himself. No partners, No Friends, Only Victims. Daniel Bryan and Kane start arguing until Christian comes out.
Christian says don’t forget about me!
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) July 2, 2013
Christian says he hates to break up the “lovers quarrel” but he wants to remind everyone that he has more experience and success than anyone in the WWE when it comes to Ladder Matches. Christian says he’s been gone for a while, but when he came back, he was looking for One More Match and that match will be for the WWE Championship.
#OneMoreMatch
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 2, 2013
“Form of… a ladder!” – Edge, giggling wildly in the background, having learned super powers. #RAW
— D. O’Brien (@Heinekenrana) July 2, 2013
Christian says his unofficial catchphrase (It’s Like This), then says he might not be the biggest guy, strongest, scariest or hairiest guy in this match, but he is without of doubt the best.
Uh-oh. Christian said the “B” word. Cue CM Punk
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 2, 2013
CM Punk comes out and says he made a promise to himself to not come out here and do what everyone else and brag about winning the Money In The Bank. Punk tells Christian that he respects the hell out of him, but not only is Punk the Best In The World, he’s the best at the Money In The Bank because he’s the only person who’s won it twice. And in two weeks, he’s going to be the only person who can say he won it three times.
Aw, I Thought CM Punk was Going to Say Thrice …
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 2, 2013
CM Punk says he doesn’t care if anyone misunderstands him, but no one can touch him in this ring. Punk knows how formidable the competition is then turns his attention to Rob Van Dam. Punk tells RVD (off camera) that he knows his game plan and that RVD will do whatever it takes to win that briefcase. Punk starts to talk about how tough #ScumbagSheamus is, then gets cut off by Daniel Bryan. Bryan tells Punk that he doesn’t want to hear another word from Punk and if he says one more word, he’s going to make Punk tap out faster than Randy Orton did last week.
Rob Van Dam would come out, but he still thinks RAW starts at 9
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 2, 2013
Punk vs DB? Do it do it do it do it do it do it.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) July 2, 2013
Randy Orton almost attacks Daniel Bryan but Kane gets in front of Bryan.
Did anyone else just “awwww” when Kane stepped between Orton and Bryan? #WWE #Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) July 2, 2013
Aww Kane is still protective of Daniel Bryan. And it bites him in the ass every time.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) July 2, 2013
Daniel Bryan tells Kane that there’s no need for Kane to protect him, which allows Randy Orton to hit the RKO on Kane.
#ScumbagOrton
— Shay Mitchell (@ShayLMitchell) July 2, 2013
Wow, what a douche thing to do, Orton. Daniel Bryan and Kane were clearly having a moment.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 2, 2013
Orton made a fool of himself just now. Just chill, bro.
— Crescent Allen (@TimWelcomed) July 2, 2013
After a multi-man staredown, Christian leaves the ring first, followed by CM Punk, Sheamus then Randy Orton as Daniel Bryan stands over Kane.
The Smart Move is to Leave the Ring. Christian Is Clearly the Smartest Right Now.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 2, 2013
Why do you get music because you hit a finisher? Get outta here, you goon. #RAW
— D. O’Brien (@Heinekenrana) July 2, 2013
Randy Orton Settles All Arguments with an RKO, Even Ones He’s Not In.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 2, 2013
Match 01: The Shield vs. Christian and The Usos
The Shield aka the Dean Street Posse.
— George E. Boy (@NotGeorgieBoy) July 2, 2013
You know…you should’ve just stayed out there, Christian.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 2, 2013
Spewing Water, Uso Brother? Do You WANT to Incur the Wrath of Triple H?!?!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 2, 2013
Uh, Jerry, that’s not High Energy. High Energy is two other guys. #Raw
— Chris Sims (@theisb) July 2, 2013
The Usos have the best entrance on #Raw
— Tesha Wyatt (@HEELcanadian) July 2, 2013
Dean Ambrose has the stealing taunt ability from the old WWE videogames.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 2, 2013
Ambrose has no rhythm. That clap was all off beat.
— Powerline (@Osito1034) July 2, 2013
“Avenge Me, Christian!” is What Jimmy / Jey said after that Kick From Seth Rollins.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 2, 2013
Christian’s skin tone is legit Simpsons Yellow.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 2, 2013
Winners: The Shield
Nice. Good match, though I’m used to 20 minute SHIELD matches.
— Powerline (@Osito1034) July 2, 2013
Rollins signature better be a Roll-up in WWE2K14. Either That or Crazy Eyes.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 2, 2013
What a disappointing Canada Day for Christian.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 2, 2013
Backstage: Daniel Bryan apologizes to Kane about what happened in the ring, then tells Kane that he spoke to Vickie Guerrero and found a way to make it up to him. Kane thinks Bryan has done enough. Bryan asks Kane if he’s still upset about losing to Randy Orton on Smackdown, but Kane tells Bryan to stay out of his way. Bryan tells Kane that he got him a rematch against Randy Orton tonight. Kane says he’s happy to hear that, then thanks his little buddy Daniel Bryan.
@3ManBooth Coming Soon. Daniel Bryan’s Island.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) July 2, 2013
Daniel Bryan tells Kane one more thing. Bryan has been named the Special Guest Referee for the match tonight.
Remember that Time The Skipper Had to Wrestle the Harlem Globetrotters and Gilligan Was the Special Guest Ref? Just Like That.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 2, 2013
Match 02: Dolph Ziggler vs. Jinder Mahal
ZIGGLE WIGGLE!!!!!!
— Powerline (@Osito1034) July 2, 2013
I noticed Ziggler managed to sneak out on his own while Big E and AJ hang out together.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) July 2, 2013
LISTEN TO ThAT POP FOR DOLPH ZIGGLER! Oh wait. You can’t hear it because the CROWD’S DEAD! #WakeUp
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 2, 2013
Dolph Ziggler versus Jinder Mahal? THIS I Gotta See!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 2, 2013
Remember when Mongoose McQueen and the band Fozzy played on Raw? I want 3MB to do that.
— Shay Mitchell (@ShayLMitchell) July 2, 2013
Dolph Ziggler hits the Zig Zag on Jinder Mahal.
ZigZag from outta nowhere
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) July 2, 2013
Winner: Dolph Ziggler
Bank On Jinder, Insufficent funds. #RAW
— Ragnarok Nastrond (@WellYoureWrong) July 2, 2013
Seriously? A win over Jinder Mahal is a “big victory?” I don’t even wrestle and I’m 6 and 0 against members of Three Man Band. #WWE #Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) July 2, 2013
Post-Match, 3MB tries to attack Dolph Ziggler
The Clowns of Justice attack Ziggler.
— Crescent Allen (@TimWelcomed) July 2, 2013
Dolph Ziggler outsmarts all 3 of them.
That was pretty cool.
— Powerline (@Osito1034) July 2, 2013
“We’re a Three Stooges Baaaaannnnndd!” – 3MB’s Next Single.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 2, 2013
Did you see the way Dolph Ziggler dodged 3MB? Good thing he spent most of his concussion recovery time watching old Bugs Bunny cartoons!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 2, 2013
Mark Henry Career Retrospect:
I hope the Mark Henry Clip show is from 2011-present. Footage Not Found 1996-2010 #RAW
— Ragnarok Nastrond (@WellYoureWrong) July 2, 2013
That video was fantastic. #Raw
— Chris Riddle (@ChrisRiddle) July 2, 2013
I want Henry to win the WWE title because he hasn’t and he deserves it. He really became someone worthy of watching over the last few yrs
— Shay Mitchell (@ShayLMitchell) July 2, 2013
Backstage: Vickie Guerrero and Brad Maddox are talking about the McMahons until Triple H walks up. Triple H asks Vickie Guerrero to continue her McMahon rant, but Vickie declines. Triple H tells Vickie Guerrero that she’s doing her job well and that she’s listening to the WWE Universe. Vickie Guerrero vents her frustrations about all the McMahons giving her advice, but Triple H tells her to listen to everything they have to say, but listen to him and not them.
Triple H’s head-wrinkles run the company.
— Crescent Allen (@TimWelcomed) July 2, 2013
Match 03: Randy Orton vs. Kane (with Daniel Bryan as the Special Guest Referee)
Nice to know Daniel Bryan and John Cone share the same size referee uniform.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 2, 2013
I Don’t Think Daniel Bryan was Scolding Randy Orton. I Think He Was Giving Him Beard Grooming Tips.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 2, 2013
If either Orton/Kane gets to the ropes to break a submission does Daniel Bryan remind them they have till five?
— Not Regal (@RegalSays) July 2, 2013
Daniel Bryan is exactly Mike Chioda-sized. #Raw
— Chris Sims (@theisb) July 2, 2013
Since there’s a Money In The Bank All-Stars Match, will there also be a Money In The Bank Slam Dunk Contest?
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 2, 2013
Daniel Bryan is the Only Referee that Makes The Count Using His Beard.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 2, 2013
Kane hits a series of elbows on Randy Orton.
Kane with the Bret Hart Elbow on Canada Day!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 2, 2013
Daniel Bryan calls for a DQ!
Winner: Kane
Uh-Oh. Somebody’s Getting RKO’d…
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 2, 2013
After arguing with Kane, Daniel Bryan restarts the match.
I love Daniel Bryan so I’m extremely hurt that he’d make a Orton vs Kane match go on longer.
— Crescent Allen (@TimWelcomed) July 2, 2013
Crowd chanting for @WWEDanielBryan and he’s only the ref. Honestly, who is more over on this roster?! #Raw
— thechrishaley (@thechrishaley) July 2, 2013
Michael Cole tries to use “classic” instead of Vintage and gets made fun of for it. It’s like Bart Simpson using the words “Woozle Wuzzle”
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 2, 2013
Randy Orton goes for an RKO but Daniel Bryan stops him. Kane hits a boot to the face on Randy Orton and Daniel Bryan counts quicker than usual.
Winner: Kane
QUICK COUNT. Even Bryan wanted that match to end. #RAW
— Ragnarok Nastrond (@WellYoureWrong) July 2, 2013
I don’t see anything wrong. That seemed like a regular count to me.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 2, 2013
Post-Match, Kane and Daniel Bryan argue about the ending of the match. Kane almost Chokeslams Daniel Bryan, but let’s Bryan go and walks away instead.
Kane goozles Bryan…and nothing happens. #RAW
— Ragnarok Nastrond (@WellYoureWrong) July 2, 2013
Is the crowd booing friendship? #WWE #Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) July 2, 2013
The crowd really wanted that chokeslam lol
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) July 2, 2013
Randy Orton hits the RKO on Daniel Bryan.
There’s the RKO! Orton’s Done 2 Tonight, so there should be None Smackdown. He Has to Ration Them.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 2, 2013
Backstage: CM Punk tells Paul Heyman that he will beat both Prime Time Players by himself and that Curtis Axel can stand on the apron and watch. Heyman understands that Punk is upset with the PTP, but doesn’t understand the hostility with Heyman and Axel. Punk tells Heyman that he trusts him, but doesn’t trust Curtis Axel. Heyman reminds Punk that he heard the same criticism about Punk in 2005, then in 2005 about CM Punk and tells Punk to trust his judgment.
Damn! Be nice to the new kid, Punker.
— Melisandre Baratheon (@RitaHepburn) July 2, 2013
CM Punk Doesn’t Trust Curtis Axel. He Is a McGillibuddy Through and Through.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 2, 2013
Match 04: Fandango vs. #ScumbagSheamus
Look Who’s Back!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 2, 2013
FANDANGO!!!
— Shay Mitchell (@ShayLMitchell) July 2, 2013
Umm….crowd? I don’t hear FANDANGOING!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 2, 2013
Oh No! Fandango-ing Has Gone The Way of the Dougie and the Electric Side: Everyone’s Forgotten it (except at Weddings).
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 2, 2013
I have had the phrase “Fandjango Unchained” in my head since Saturday. Please enjoy. #Raw
— Chris Sims (@theisb) July 2, 2013
Fandango looks like he made his outfit from Chester Cheetah.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 2, 2013
*Sigh* Anytime there’s fun in the ring, #ScumbagSheamus comes out to ruin it.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 2, 2013
Fandango Just Came Back From a Concussion! Why Have Him Face The #ScumbagSheamus That Might Give Him One?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 2, 2013
Fandango dances around the ring.
Fandango’s taunt button is busted.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) July 2, 2013
#ScumbagSheamus mocks Fandango’s dance.
Welp. #ScumbagSheamus is officially 100% nonthreatening now.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 2, 2013
Man, #ScumbagSheamus randomly attacks people, kicks trees, makes fun of other superstars. He’s a great role model.
— Shay Mitchell (@ShayLMitchell) July 2, 2013
Nice Kick By Fandango! If He Wins, Does He Take #ScumbagSheamus‘ Spot in Money in the Bank: All Stars?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 2, 2013
#ScumbagSheamus starts hitting Fandango with his chest move.
Stop It, #ScumbagSheamus! You’re Going to Give Fandango a Chest Concussion!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 2, 2013
Fandango walks out of the match.
Winner: #ScumbagSheamus (via countout)
#GoodGuyBryan: Gets a countout victory against Orton and demands a restart. #ScumbagSheamus: Gets a countout victory and is okay with it.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 2, 2013
Take the Road Less ChaCha’d, Fandango. You Don’t Need to Risk Getting a Concussion from that #ScumbagSheamus
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 2, 2013
Match 05: The Miz vs. Ryback (w/ Chris Jericho on commentary)
Ryback didn’t scream “WAKE UP” tonight. Guess he got plenty of sleep in that ambulance.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 2, 2013
So Is The Ryback going to try and teach Chris Jericho a lesson by beating up Jericho Junior?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 2, 2013
Chris Jericho is the only one having fun tonight.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 2, 2013
Mitchell Cole? Y2J is Back, Everybody! It’s a Canada Day Miracle!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 2, 2013
The Ryback is just throwing Miz about like a pillowcase.
— Not Regal (@RegalSays) July 2, 2013
All the Canadians Wrestlers Are Happy and Giddy and Look at how MISERABLE this American Crowd Is! Be Like Our Neighbors to the North, Guys!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 2, 2013
This is a historic night folks: The Miz ACTUALLY worked on the leg.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 2, 2013
After a series of kicks to Ryback’s leg, the referee asks Ryback if he wants to stop the match. Ryback actually agrees to stop the match!
Winner: The Miz
The Ryback! You’re Letting the Miz Beat You? With WRESTLING?!?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 2, 2013
Post-Match, Chris Jericho hits the Codebreaker on Ryback.
So wait… Chris Jericho just attacked a guy who was so injured that he forfeit a match, right? Is he supposed to be a good guy? #Raw
— Chris Sims (@theisb) July 2, 2013
Chris Jericho hasn’t been a “good guy” since the 6th grade. #raw
— Arya Stark (@prettyheartless) July 2, 2013
Mark Henry Speaks:
STEPUPBRINGIT YESSIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) July 2, 2013
Mark Henry introduces himself as the Strongest Man In The World. Henry says he didn’t get the name from a cracker jack box, he earned it by being the youngest and strongest kid. Henry reminds us that he representing the United States in the Olympics in 92 and 96. Henry says he maintained that status for the past 17 years in the WWE and earned the respect of every Superstar, but there’s a lot of jealously, backstabbing and politics.
Mark Henry is scary. He sweats from talking.
— Shay Mitchell (@ShayLMitchell) July 2, 2013
This is Mark Henry’s version of CM Punk’s “Pipebomb” promo.
— Melisandre Baratheon (@RitaHepburn) July 2, 2013
“Guys, We Can ‘WHAT?!?’ Mark Henry! There’s NO WAY He Can World’s Strongest Slam All of Us!” – This Crowd
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 2, 2013
Mark Henry claims that they never gave him an opportunity to be a WWE Champion despite all the miles and years he traveled and doing the right thing. Henry says that after all the years he’s given to this organization, he deserves to be the WWE Champion and earned the right to be the WWE Champion. Henry calls the WWE Universe puppets and says at the Money In The Bank PPV, nobody is going to keep him down. Henry claims he’s going to do the right thing for him and him only. Henry says after he beats John Cea, nobody in the world will be able to deny him and that the people will say that Mark Henry earned the WWE Championship.
I REALLY Want to See Mark Henry Surrounded By a Bunch of Puppets! Can That Be His First Photoshoot After Winning the WWE Championship?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 2, 2013
If you’d told me 13 years ago that Mark Henry would be one of the best things about WWE, I would’ve laughed in your face. #raw
— Kara (@karaadora) July 2, 2013
Mark Henry demands the camera in his face then says he wants these words to sink in. Henry tells John Cena that at Money In the Bank, he’s going to beat his ass.
Mark Henry tells John Cena’s BFF, Stu The Cameraman, that he will beat Cena’s ass. Stu agrees because that’s what Henry does.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 2, 2013
Backstage: Mr. McMahon walks in on Vickie Guerrero and Brad Maddox and scolds her about continuing to use Daniel Bryan, then commends her on a great Main Event. McMahon quickly changes his tune and says that John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio should be on PPV and not given away for free. Vickie Guerrero tries to apologize, but Mr. McMahon tells her that there’s a laundry list of people that have been fired or personally thrown out by him because they don’t listen to him. McMahon tells them to enjoy the evening then walks off.
Technically can’t she sue them for harassment? Mental anguish?
— Shay Mitchell (@ShayLMitchell) July 2, 2013
Match 06: The Prime Time Players vs. CM Punk and Curtis Axel
Oh, is it clobberin’ time already? ::Checks watch:: Yup. #Raw
— thechrishaley (@thechrishaley) July 2, 2013
CM Punk is acting like Wolverine in that X-Men episode when he had to work with Alpha Flight again.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 2, 2013
Make it a win, Titus.
— Ragnarok Nastrond (@WellYoureWrong) July 2, 2013
Michael McGuillicutty Was the Former Tag Team Specialist! Curtis Axel Works Alone …
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 2, 2013
Punk is in, and he’s presumably “mad hyped!” #WWE #Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) July 2, 2013
CM Punk hits the GTS on Darren Young, but Curtis Axel steals the pin.
Winners: CM Punk and Curtis Axel
Celebrate!
— Melisandre Baratheon (@RitaHepburn) July 2, 2013
CM Punk & Curtis Axel teaming is like when you pick your character in Wrestlefest, then game chose a partner for you cause you took too long
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 2, 2013
Match 07: Kaitlyn vs. Alicia Fox
Holy crap, Alicia Fox is out of storage for a match. #RAW
— Ragnarok Nastrond (@WellYoureWrong) July 2, 2013
There’s heel… there’s babyface… and then there’s Alicia Fox. #raw
— Arya Stark (@prettyheartless) July 2, 2013
Did Layla steal that outfit from Tina Turner? #RAW
— Ragnarok Nastrond (@WellYoureWrong) July 2, 2013
If you don’t think what Layla is wearing right now is amazing, you are wrong. #Raw
— Chris Sims (@theisb) July 2, 2013
Kaitlyn hits a spear on Alicia Fox.
Oh God! Kaitlyn just speared Alicia Fox back into a face.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 2, 2013
Winner: Kaitlyn
When Alicia Fox appears on Raw these days it’s like a surprise appearance by Sideshow Bob on The Simpsons. She won’t get far in it.
— Not Regal (@RegalSays) July 2, 2013
Post-Match, AJ Lee’s music hits and she comes out with Big E. Langston. AJ calls Kaitlyn “Katie Kaboom” and the internet explodes.
Katie Kaboom! AJ with the Animaniacs Reference!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 2, 2013
KATIE KABOOM!!! AJ WINS ONCE AGAIN.
— Powerline (@Osito1034) July 2, 2013
AJ Lee claims that Kaitlyn tried to assassinate her character last week on Smackdown, then calls Kaitlyn trash again. AJ says that she knows it and Big E. knows it and soon everyone else will know it. AJ brings up Kaitlyn’s “unsavory modeling pictures” when she was broke and young and desperate, then decides to show one.
Good thing Candice Michelle isn’t feuding with AJ Lee. Her “unsavory pictures” are all over the interwebs.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 2, 2013
AJ says she’s sorry but this was necessary to show because she wanted to remind Kaitlyn about where she came from. AJ says after Money In The Bank, that’s where Kaitlyn will end up again.
AJ firing all the shots. https://t.co/6Di1xr512O
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) July 2, 2013
Backstage: Vickie Guerrero is giving Brad Maddox orders until Stephanie McMahon interrupts them. Stephanie scolds Vickie about AJ Lee’s actions, but Vickie says she wasn’t watching. Stephanie scolds Vickie further for not handling the situation, just like how last week, she didn’t announce the Money In The Bank All-Stars Participants.
Why is Stephanie wearing what I can only guess is something people will wear when we move to space?
— Crescent Allen (@TimWelcomed) July 2, 2013
I can’t tell if Stephanie McMahon is wearing a blue dress or Superhero Spandex.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 2, 2013
Vickie Guerrero says she’s trying her best, and vents about how Mr. McMahon, Triple H and Stephanie McMahon being in her head. Stephanie says she understands where Vickie is coming from then asks how she can help. Vickie Guerrero tries to relate to Stephanie McMahon as a woman in a male dominated environment, then makes from of Mr. McMahon and Triple H, but Stephanie is not amused. Stephanie tells Vickie that they’re not friends and that this is business and she doesn’t appreciate Vickie making fun of her family and trying to turn them against each other.
Ooohhhh #scumbagstephanie #raw
— Arya Stark (@prettyheartless) July 2, 2013
Stephanie is so good at setting someone up high and then knocking them down. Dirty.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) July 2, 2013
Stephanie McMahon agrees that Vickie Guerrero needs to know where she stands so next week on RAW Vickie Guerrero will have a public job evaluation. Stephanie tells Vickie that she could either be promoted or be fired. Stephanie says that’s the beauty about RAW. You never know what’s going to happen next. Stephanie walks off as Vickie Guerrero looks ready to cry.
When You’ve Been Fired by the McMahons as Many Times As Vickie Has, Does It Really Matter Anymore? Look at Teddy “Permanent Probation” Long!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 2, 2013
Match 08: Cody Rhodes (w/ Damien Sandow) vs. Antonio Cesaro (w/ Zeb Colter)
Damien Sandow says that in two weeks, he and Cody Rhodes will be in the MITB Ladder Match for a World Heavyweight Champion Contract, but despite this, they will remain best friends, much to the chagrins of the “mouthbreathers” of the WWE Universe. Cody Rhodes agrees and says that he and Sandow are the last of their kind: Men of Character. Rhodes says he and Sandow, will not lower themselves to the WWE Universe’s level by allowing competition to get between them. As the crowd boos, Sandow says “Silence!” followed by “You’re Welcome.”
Sandow looks like he’s gonna host G.E. College Bowl. #RAW
— Ragnarok Nastrond (@WellYoureWrong) July 2, 2013
Zeb Colter comes out and rants about the country being stolen from America. Colter says Congress passed a law that forgives American Illegal immigrants, and that the institution of Marriage is under attack. Colter continues to rant about free speech and privacy.
For a second I thought Zeb Colter was going to rant about Wendy Davis.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 2, 2013
Zeb Colter says that it’s time that someone stood up and made a stand. Colter says he and Antonio Cesaro are not alone in their fight because a Real American, Jack Swagger, is back. Colter says that they’ve come here to draw first blood and everyone needs to choose their side now. You’re either with them or against them, and if you’re against them, you’re doomed to fail. Swagger and Cesaro say “We The People.”
Jack Swagger and Anontio Cesaro: Kings! Of! America! KOA
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 2, 2013
Cesaro might end up European uppercutting someone up to the briefcase without the aid of a ladder. #WWE #Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) July 2, 2013
I hope this match never ends. #raw
— Arya Stark (@prettyheartless) July 2, 2013
Winner: Antonio Cesaro
Rhodes Scholars Just Got Learned … In International Superpowers.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 2, 2013
again CESARO~! #VeryEuropea….AMERICAN! #RAW
— Ragnarok Nastrond (@WellYoureWrong) July 2, 2013
Backstage: The Bella Twins are talking with the new Total Divas, Eva Marie and Jo Jo. The Bellas thank the two of them for coming to the Total Divas casting meeting, then tells Eva and Jo that they should be excited for inviting them. The Bellas run down the new girls and claim that this reality show wouldn’t be happening if they didn’t come back since they’re the stars of the series.
Eva Marie. #raw
— Arya Stark (@prettyheartless) July 2, 2013
Why is the red head from Girl Code on Total Divas?
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 2, 2013
Eva Marie and Jo Jo say they’re all the stars, but Brie says not all stars shine bright. Natalya, Cameron and Naomi walk up. The Divas get an argument with The Bellas, who try to mock them, but they continue to stand up for each other. The Bellas say that the Divas are finally getting the attention they deserve and they need to remind everyone who’s on top. Nikki says it’s not Kaitlyn, AJ, or the other Divas, it’s about The Bellas then walk off.
Stop with the camera angles!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 2, 2013
I hate reality show camera
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) July 2, 2013
It’s like I’m watching a Divas tennis match
— Bill S. Preston, Esq (@Miss_Dani_Baby) July 2, 2013
“We’re carrying all the weight. And we’re not used to carrying all the weight” – Brie “I’m used to carrying all the weight” – Nikki
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 2, 2013
Match 09: Alberto Del Rio vs. John Cena (Champion vs. Champion)
Alberto Del Rio walks out without RicRod.
Dude better turn around and go get Ricardo Rodriguez. I don’t care if he has to carry him. #raw
— Arya Stark (@prettyheartless) July 2, 2013
John Cena tells his BFF, Stu The Cameraman, that it’s “Champion vs. Champion” and that the Champ Is Here. Stu is still scared from Henry.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 2, 2013
Cena looks like a guy who just started outwrestling. He came in his Cargo shorts and cross training shoes
— Ragnarok Nastrond (@WellYoureWrong) July 2, 2013
Even the “Cena Sucks” chants are lacking. I hope WWE NEVER comes back to this city again.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 2, 2013
Come on Cena show your Lucha Libre style. Do the Cenacanrana.
— Shay Mitchell (@ShayLMitchell) July 2, 2013
Cena Really Keeps Trying to Make that Sixth Move of Doom Work. You’ll Get It One Day, Big Guy!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 2, 2013
Del Rio counted the Five Moves Of Doom. TWICE! Someone learned from his Christmas Beatdown last year.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 2, 2013
Michael Cole: “This Is Why It’s Champion Versus Champion. Two of the BEST in the World!” CM Punk: “Triple Threat Match?”
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) July 2, 2013
John Cena hits a Flying Cross Body on Alberto Del Rio!
Did John Cena just do a flying cross body?! Did the spirit of Brian Pillman enter him while he was on the top rope or something?
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 2, 2013
Just for a second I thought we might see a CenaSault. MoonCena? #WWE #Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) July 2, 2013
Mark Henry comes out and distracts John Cenam, but Dolph Ziggler comes out and distracts Alberto Del Rio, allowing John Cena hits the AA for the win.
Winner: John Cena
Ziggler used ‘Distraction’. It was super effective!
— Not Regal (@RegalSays) July 2, 2013
Dolph Ziggler helping John Cena…the Ziggler from 6 months ago is shaking his head. The Ziggler from a year ago is just happy to be on RAW
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 2, 2013
Post-Match, Mark Henry picks up the WWE Championship. Mark Henry almost charges at Cena but Cena backs up. Henry drops the belt and Cena tries to pick up the belt, but Mark Henry stops him. Henry smirks then leaves as John Cena picks up his WWE Championship and stares at him.
@KeepItFiveStar Ooop! *goes to pick up belt* Woooah! *goes to pick up belt* Ap!
— Chris (@Dusty_Knackers) July 2, 2013
Michael Cole announces that the Wyatt Family will debut next week on RAW, then RAW ends with a Wyatt Family Promo.
So much hype for the Wyatt Family!
— Melisandre Baratheon (@RitaHepburn) July 2, 2013
All of this promotion of the Wyatt Family at least gives an indication, right or wrong, that they’re gonna show up as a big deal. #WWE #Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) July 2, 2013
So That Happened:
Loved them ending with The Wyatt Family promo.
— Crescent Allen (@TimWelcomed) July 2, 2013
For everyone who is down on this RAW, here’s one positive. It ended on a Wyatt Family Promo.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) July 2, 2013
So yeah that was a RAW, not awful, jut not the best. Crowd sucked. Main event turned out better than I thought!
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) July 2, 2013