So That Happened (03/11/13)

RAW begins with a Paul Bearer tribute.

The tribute continues as The Undertaker comes out and pays tribute to Paul Bearer by posing in the ring with the urn.

CM Punk interrupts the celebration.

CM Punk says he’s here to pay his respects and offer his condolences….for The Undertaker’s Wrestlemania Loss. CM Punk says the silver lining to this tragedy is that to Paul Bearer will always be perfect to The Undertaker. 20-0, but to everyone else, after Wrestlemania, he’ll be 20-1. Punk says after Mania, WWE won’t be paying tributes to Paul Bearer. They will be playing a video paying tribute to him. Punk claims in 50 years people won’t be asking about Paul Bearer, they will be telling their Grandkids where you were when CM Punk beat The Streak.

WWE App/Backstage: Kane attacks CM Punk. Kane tries to chokeslam CM Punk off the ramp but Punk runs off. Kane chases him back. Kane goes through a rampage looking for CM Punk. Alex Riley gets in the way and gets hurled DJ Jazzy Jeff Style.

Match 01: Big Show vs. Seth Rollins

The Shield attacks Big Show.

Winner: Big Show (via DQ)

Big Show fends off The Shield for a bit. Show gets the upperhand but is taken down by a spear from Roman Reigns.

The Shield hit the Triple Power Bomb on Big Show

Backstage: CM Punk interrupts Vickie Guerrero and Brad Maddox complaining about Kane attacking him. Punk demands Vickie Guerrero do something so Vickie punishes him by putting him in a No DQ Match against Kane for disrespecting the memory of Paul Bearer.

Remembering Paul Bearer: Brother Love introduces Paul Bearer.

Match 02: Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler

Winner: Dolph Ziggler

Post-Match, Big E. Langston attacks Daniel Bryan.

Match 03: Fandango vs. Tensai

Fandango doesn’t come out. Tensai demnds that Fandango come out to the ring. Fandango and his Daily Dancer come out.

Fandango tells Tensai that he mispronounced his name and that Brodus Clay and Tensai are a disgrace and an abomination to the world of dance. Fandango refuses to wrestle until they get his name right.

Fandango stops Justin Roberts from introducing him and says he wants Naomi to say his name since she is the only one out there with any rhythm and talent. Fandango tries to convince Naomi that she’s better than all of this.

Naomi is about to say Fandango’s name but Tensai takes the mic and yells some more. Fandango refuses to wrestle and says he just costs everyone the opportunity of seeing Fandango wrestle. Jerry Lawler responds with “Damn It, Tensai!”

Winner: Naomi

Remembering Paul Bearer: Wrestlemania 20

Match 04: Team Rhodes Scholars vs. The New Age Outlaws

Team Rhodes Scholars do their own rendition of The New Age Outlaws opening, brought to you by Taste and Good Form.

The New Age Outlaws do their classic bit.

The New Outlaws and Team Rhodes Scholars wrestle until Brock Lesnar’s theme starts playing!

Brock Lesnar proceeds to destroy The New Age Outlaws.

Paul Heyman mentions Triple H’s promo from last week then says Brock Lesnar doesn’t play games. Brock Lesnar hurts people. Heyman brings up Shawn Michaels, Mr. McMahon, The New Age Outlaws and Stephanie McMahon (emotionally) as examples.

Paul Heyman says Brock Lesnar accepts Triple H’s challenge at Wrestlemania ONLY if Brock gets to name the stipulations. And Brock Lesnar refuses to tell the stipulations until after Triple H signs the contract. Heyman says Triple H either blindly accepts Brock Lesnar’s challenge or he disappoints the WWE Universe, his wife, children, father-in-law and himself. Heyman ends it with “If You Ain’t Down With That…I Got Two Words For You: BROCK LESNAR”

Match 05: Kofi Kingston vs. Mark Henry

Mark Henry catches Kofi Kingston in mid-air then drops him with the World’s Strongest Slam.

Winner: Mark Henry

Backstage: Cody Rhodes and Kaitlyn have an awkward exchange over water. Cody tries to talk to Kaitlyn and makes “I mustache you” a question joke. Kaitlyn doesn’t get it at first, but Cody explains it and she snorts. Damien Sandow interrupts them and takes Kaitlyn’s water.

Damien Sandow tells Cody Rhodes that since they weren’t able to face The New Age Outlaws, he’s made plans for them and two much more suitable companions.

Kaitlyn tells The Bella Twins that they got fired, but they say they’re back because the Divas division and the boys need them now more than ever. Kaitlyn leaves as Vickie Guerrero walks over to welcome The Bella Twins back and tell them that their double date will be cut short. Vickie tells Team Rhodes Scholars that since their match with The New Outlaws was cut short, they’ll have a new match tonight against Sheamus and Randy Orton.

Match 06: Ryback vs. Heath Slater

Winner: Ryback

Post-match, Drew McIntyre tries to attack Ryback but gets Shell Shock. Mark Henry comes down to the ring.

Mark Henry and Ryback take turns beating down Drew McIntyre.

Mark Henry and Ryback have a stare down.

Match 07: Alberto Del Rio vs. Antonio Cesaro

Winner: Alberto Del Rio

Backstage: Kane is with Josh Mathews. Mathews says it’s a troubling time. Kane is shown holding the urn. Kane just stares at the urn then walks off.

Remembering Paul Bearer: Kane’s Debut

The Rock vs. John Cena Preview:

Match 08: Team Rhodes Scholars vs. Randy Orton and Sheamus

Winner: Randy Orton and Sheamus

Post-Match, The Shield attacks Randy Orton and Sheamus.

Chris Jericho Highlight Reel with The Miz and Wade Barrett:

Chris Jericho welcomes us to RAW is Jericho and the Highlight Reel, then plugs The Marine 3. Jericho introduces The Miz. The Miz and Jericho riff about talk shows until Wade Barrett interrupts.

Wade Barrett mocks The Miz’s acting then talks about how Dead Man Down opened in the Top 5 this weekend then shows a clip of him in the movie. I think. Can’t really see him.

The Miz does an impression of Wade Barrett. Barrett mocks The Miz’s acting then says he’s rejected dozens of offers from Hollywood because he’s too busy being the Intercontinental Champion and being Wade Barrett.

The Miz and Wade Barrett get in a “Really” off until Miz brings up the fact that Wade Barrett hasn’t won a match in weeks and claims it’s only a matter of time before Barrett loses his Intercontinental Championship. Chris Jericho does his own version of “Really” as Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler, the consummate professionals that they are, begin to trash the segment on live TV.

Wade Barrett tells Y2J to keep out of it before he drops him. Jericho takes off his jacket, gets in Barrett’s face and reminds him that he helped bring Wade Barrett into this company, and that although Barrett is a 2 time Intercontinental Champion, Jericho is a 9 time Intercontinental Champion. Chris Jericho almost challenges Wade Barrett, but Brad “Heartthrob Assistant” Maddoox interrupts telling them to “Stop It!” like they’re pets.

Heartthrob Assistant stumbles around, but eventually gets to the point: The Miz vs. Chris Jericho. Winner face Wade Barrett for the Intercontinental Championship next week.

Match 09: Chris Jericho vs. The Miz (with Wade Barrett on commentary)

Chris Jericho throws The Miz into Wade Barrett. Wade Barrett attacks the two of them.

Winner: No Contest

Post-Match: Chris Jericho and The Miz both use their finishers on Wade Barrett.

Alberto Del Rio and RicRod parody Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter:

Remembering Paul Bearer: Paul Bearer in a dress…

Match 10: Sin Cara vs. Jack Swagger (with Zeb Colter)

Zeb Colter walks out with a mic and trashes Sin Cara for being an “illegal immigrant.”

Winner: Jack Swagger

Post-Match, Jack Swagger keeps the Ankle Lock on until Alberto Del Rio makes the save.

Halle Berry promotes The Call

Halle Berry gets a call from David Otunga who reveals he was forced to give away Halle Berry’s number to a certain WWE Superstar. Suddenly, Halle Berry gets another phone call from…

Kane says he knows where Halle Berry lives then says he has one question for her: Why Won’t Halle Berry return his fan mail? Kane talks about him and Halle Berry having a connection. Halle Berry realizes who it is then calls out Kane on his home address being from the “Depths Of Hell.”

Kane says “The Depths Of Hell” is the opposite of kids writing to The North Pole for Santa Claus. Halle Berry says she’s going to kill Otunga. Kane asks if they’re still going on that picnic, but Halle Berry puts her phone down and does her own Fire Explosion Trick!

Match 09: CM Punk vs. Kane

Kane walks out with the urn.

CM Punk is about to win until a Gong is heard!

The Undertaker’s Gong distracts CM Punk long enough for Kane to hit the Chokeslam.

Winner: Kane

Post-match, The Undertaker and Kane get on one knee and pose as the Paul Bearer tribute is shown on the screen.

CM Punk attacks Kane from behind with The Urn then proceeds to beat Kane down with it!

CM Punk escapes with the urn.

CM Punk mocks The Undertaker’s taunt with the urn. The Undertaker responds with a taunt of his own.

So That Happened:

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