RAW begins with a Paul Bearer tribute.
Really lovely Paul Bearer tribute. #raw
— Kara (@karaadora) March 12, 2013
Fitting tribute to the late Paul Bearer. Very classy. #RAW
— Stacey Lee (@LittleSherbie) March 12, 2013
The tribute continues as The Undertaker comes out and pays tribute to Paul Bearer by posing in the ring with the urn.
*Gong* #Raw
— Drunken Whaler (@Batman_Infinite) March 12, 2013
This is the best thing they could’ve done. The best. #RAW
— D. O’Brien (@Heinekenrana) March 12, 2013
Not gonna lie. I’m tearing up.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 12, 2013
CM Punk interrupts the celebration.
Oh c’mon man!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 12, 2013
Well. I didn’t want it to happen, but I knew it was gonna happen.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) March 12, 2013
CM Punk says he’s here to pay his respects and offer his condolences….for The Undertaker’s Wrestlemania Loss. CM Punk says the silver lining to this tragedy is that to Paul Bearer will always be perfect to The Undertaker. 20-0, but to everyone else, after Wrestlemania, he’ll be 20-1. Punk says after Mania, WWE won’t be paying tributes to Paul Bearer. They will be playing a video paying tribute to him. Punk claims in 50 years people won’t be asking about Paul Bearer, they will be telling their Grandkids where you were when CM Punk beat The Streak.
Damn I can’t get over how HURT Taker looks.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) March 12, 2013
Undertaker’s face is the worst part. I almost cried
— Alex M. Crimefighter (@failraiser) March 12, 2013
I honestly can’t decide how I feel about this. However, Punk/Taker is the match I’m looking forward to the most. #raw
— Kara (@karaadora) March 12, 2013
WWE App/Backstage: Kane attacks CM Punk. Kane tries to chokeslam CM Punk off the ramp but Punk runs off. Kane chases him back. Kane goes through a rampage looking for CM Punk. Alex Riley gets in the way and gets hurled DJ Jazzy Jeff Style.
If Alex Riley’s new gimmick is to just be in the wrong place at the wrong time then I love it.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 12, 2013
Poor Alex Riley, he truly knew nothing.
— Gentleman Tom (@TomQWood) March 12, 2013
Bo Dallas was so excited because he finally took the training wheels off of his bike and Kane comes in and ruins his day.
— George H. Scubb (@TimExiled) March 12, 2013
Match 01: Big Show vs. Seth Rollins
Whoa, Rollins in singles?
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) March 12, 2013
The Shield attacks Big Show.
Winner: Big Show (via DQ)
WHAT A MATCH
— George H. Scubb (@TimExiled) March 12, 2013
Big Show fends off The Shield for a bit. Show gets the upperhand but is taken down by a spear from Roman Reigns.
It’s been 20 years and so few people have learned not to jump throat-first at Big Show. #WWE #Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) March 12, 2013
LOL that teamwork spear.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) March 12, 2013
The Shield hit the Triple Power Bomb on Big Show
Seth Rollins is only 1/5 Super Saiyan.
— George H. Scubb (@TimExiled) March 12, 2013
@kickstunner He’s like if Yamcha did a little bit better.
— George H. Scubb (@TimExiled) March 12, 2013
Scumbag Orton and scumbag Sheamus, man.
— Gentleman Tom (@TomQWood) March 12, 2013
Backstage: CM Punk interrupts Vickie Guerrero and Brad Maddox complaining about Kane attacking him. Punk demands Vickie Guerrero do something so Vickie punishes him by putting him in a No DQ Match against Kane for disrespecting the memory of Paul Bearer.
When it comes to death Vickie DOES NOT PLAY!
— Henry ‘Hank’ McCoy (@Osito1034) March 12, 2013
Remembering Paul Bearer: Brother Love introduces Paul Bearer.
Damn Prichard is RED as hell on that old footage.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) March 12, 2013
Match 02: Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler
BATTLE OF THE BOYFRIENDS!!!!!!!
— Chris Riddle (@ChrisRiddle) March 12, 2013
I think Daniel Bryan can officially team with his beard now. It’s bigger than Hornswoggle. #RAW
— Tyler Edwards (@Und3rAverageJoe) March 12, 2013
No reason for Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole to get on AJ like that. We get it. She’s a “whore.” Happy Women’s History Month, AJ.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 12, 2013
Winner: Dolph Ziggler
That was the good stuff, ladies and gentlemans.
— George H. Scubb (@TimExiled) March 12, 2013
WOW
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) March 12, 2013
Dolph actually won so that’s a plus.
— George H. Scubb (@TimExiled) March 12, 2013
Post-Match, Big E. Langston attacks Daniel Bryan.
That’s the same look Big E gets when he’s about to destroy a bowl of grits #raw
— Guy LeDouche (@WellYoureWrong) March 12, 2013
I thought Big E was fixing to breast feed Daniel Bryan.
— George H. Scubb (@TimExiled) March 12, 2013
Is Big E looking for a role in Magic Mike 2?
— Kara (@karaadora) March 12, 2013
I Thought AJ Lee Was Going to Float Down From the Ring Apron Like Princess Peach in Super Mario Bros 2.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 12, 2013
Boy AJ was ecstatic over Dolph’s victory.”*Gropes Dolph Ziggler* THIS is mine! THIS is where my babies come from!” – AJ Lee
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 12, 2013
Match 03: Fandango vs. Tensai
Brodus Clay and Tensai, otherwise known as Too Cool and Rikishi version 2.
— Stacey Lee (@LittleSherbie) March 12, 2013
Fandango doesn’t come out. Tensai demnds that Fandango come out to the ring. Fandango and his Daily Dancer come out.
The WWE was definitely missing a good ballroom dancing gimmick. Definitely. #Raw
— Victoria (@prettyheartless) March 12, 2013
Purple & gold? When did Fandango win King of The Ring? #RAW
— Tyler Edwards (@Und3rAverageJoe) March 12, 2013
I do like how he comes out with a different chick. Are there town casting calls for female ballroom dancers?
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) March 12, 2013
Fandango tells Tensai that he mispronounced his name and that Brodus Clay and Tensai are a disgrace and an abomination to the world of dance. Fandango refuses to wrestle until they get his name right.
Maybe Fandango just has OCD and that’s why he’s having such a problem with this name thing.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 12, 2013
Fandango stops Justin Roberts from introducing him and says he wants Naomi to say his name since she is the only one out there with any rhythm and talent. Fandango tries to convince Naomi that she’s better than all of this.
“Naomi…you’re the only one with rhythm….and talennnnnt….you really know how to….tweeeeeeeeeeeeerk….” – Fandango
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 12, 2013
Naomi is about to say Fandango’s name but Tensai takes the mic and yells some more. Fandango refuses to wrestle and says he just costs everyone the opportunity of seeing Fandango wrestle. Jerry Lawler responds with “Damn It, Tensai!”
“Dammit Tensai” I like it. #DammitTensai
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) March 12, 2013
Jerry Lawler’s in-ring return and Wrestlemania match is going to be against Fandango.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 12, 2013
You Know There’s Something Off When Jerry Lawler Only Cares About Fandango.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 12, 2013
Winner: Naomi
Remembering Paul Bearer: Wrestlemania 20
Nice Paul Bearer Wrestlemania 20 clip! I was there in the third row for that one! #RAW
— Jerry Sorrentino (@JerrySorrentino) March 12, 2013
Match 04: Team Rhodes Scholars vs. The New Age Outlaws
Team Rhodes Scholars do their own rendition of The New Age Outlaws opening, brought to you by Taste and Good Form.
“Oh You Were Not Aware Of This?” HAHAHA Damien Sandow: Well Done. Good Form.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 12, 2013
Give Damien Sandow the $10,000 #RAW
— Guy LeDouche (@WellYoureWrong) March 12, 2013
Cody Rhodes’s childhood speech pathologist must have felt all warm and tingly inside during that promo.
— David Shoemaker (@AKATheMaskedMan) March 12, 2013
Middle Age Outlaws coming up
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) March 12, 2013
They cut ass out of the New Age Outlaws intro and I lose all faith in humanity. #RAW
— Stacey Lee (@LittleSherbie) March 12, 2013
I don’t remember Road Dogg teaming with Randy The Ram in the 90s…
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 12, 2013
The New Age Outlaws do their classic bit.
Some faith is regained because there are actually members in the audience that remember the New Age Outlaws introduction speech. #RAW
— Stacey Lee (@LittleSherbie) March 12, 2013
The New Outlaws and Team Rhodes Scholars wrestle until Brock Lesnar’s theme starts playing!
Well, their three minutes appear to be up… #WWE #Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) March 12, 2013
HERE COMES THE PAIN.
— Not Regal (@RegalSays) March 12, 2013
The Look On Cody Rhodes Face: “I’ve Had Nightmares About This.”
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 12, 2013
“Oh My God! What have I done? Why is he after me?! Is Brock Lesnar dating Kaitlyn?! Why didn’t anybody tell me?!” – A scared Cody Rhodes
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 12, 2013
Brock Lesnar Fan Is There! He’s Like a Dove in a John Woo Movie. If You Spot Him, You Know It’s Going Down.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 12, 2013
Brock Lesnar proceeds to destroy The New Age Outlaws.
BROCK IS GOING AFTER TRIPLE H’S FRIENDS!!!!
— Chris Riddle (@ChrisRiddle) March 12, 2013
Is being a friend of Triple H worth all this pain?!
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) March 12, 2013
Brock unloading on Mr Ass is for sure not a PG thing to say..
— Natasha(@sailornatasha) March 12, 2013
This is Why Triple H Has So Few Friends.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 12, 2013
@keepitfivestar If a Giant Haz Mat Suit Chases Down X-Pac, We’ll Know Who Is In It.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 12, 2013
I am not okay with anything that cuts a Rhodes Scholars match short. Or highlighter yellow sneakers. #Raw
— Victoria (@prettyheartless) March 12, 2013
This proves that Sandow and Rhodes are the superior human beings… they were smart enough to run.
— Linda M (@MsSuperVillain) March 12, 2013
Paul Heyman mentions Triple H’s promo from last week then says Brock Lesnar doesn’t play games. Brock Lesnar hurts people. Heyman brings up Shawn Michaels, Mr. McMahon, The New Age Outlaws and Stephanie McMahon (emotionally) as examples.
This Beating By Brock is A Counterpoint to the WWE Active App. If DX Didn’t Reunite on It, Brock Wouldn’t Have Attacked Them.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 12, 2013
The awkward moment when Punk and Lesnar have joint custody of Paul E. #RAW
— Stacey Lee (@LittleSherbie) March 12, 2013
Paul Heyman says Brock Lesnar accepts Triple H’s challenge at Wrestlemania ONLY if Brock gets to name the stipulations. And Brock Lesnar refuses to tell the stipulations until after Triple H signs the contract. Heyman says Triple H either blindly accepts Brock Lesnar’s challenge or he disappoints the WWE Universe, his wife, children, father-in-law and himself. Heyman ends it with “If You Ain’t Down With That…I Got Two Words For You: BROCK LESNAR”
“Accept Our Stipulations, Triple H, or YOU Disappoint The WWE Universe!” “Not the First Time!” – WWE Universe
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 12, 2013
Trips vs Brock II: Gravy bowl match
— Linda M (@MsSuperVillain) March 12, 2013
Match 05: Kofi Kingston vs. Mark Henry
S.O.S! You know I’m JOBBIN!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 12, 2013
Sorry, Kofi. You’re not wearing a wig so your ass must be kicked.
— George H. Scubb (@TimExiled) March 12, 2013
Stop Fighting, Guys! You Could Reform the Nation of Domination!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 12, 2013
Congratulations to Kofi Kingston for being one of the rare black Members of Mark Henry’s Hall Of Pain.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 12, 2013
Kofi’s Putting Up a Fight!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 12, 2013
Mark Henry catches Kofi Kingston in mid-air then drops him with the World’s Strongest Slam.
KOFI. D-E-D, dead! #RAW
— Guy LeDouche (@WellYoureWrong) March 12, 2013
He really made Kofi look like he was 50 pounds.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) March 12, 2013
Winner: Mark Henry
I Think Mark Henry Removed Some of Kofi’s Tattoos With That Slam.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 12, 2013
THAT’S WHAT HE DOES! #HallOfPain #RAW
— Tyler Edwards (@Und3rAverageJoe) March 12, 2013
Mark Henry just showed why he deserved a gold Rolex while Farooq only got a portrait of the Rock. #RAW #NationOfDomination
— The RAW Librarian (@TheRawLibrarian) March 12, 2013
The Best Part About That World’s Strongest Slam is that Mark Henry Held Kofi There,Making Him Re-Think His Life Decisions Before The Slam.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 12, 2013
Backstage: Cody Rhodes and Kaitlyn have an awkward exchange over water. Cody tries to talk to Kaitlyn and makes “I mustache you” a question joke. Kaitlyn doesn’t get it at first, but Cody explains it and she snorts. Damien Sandow interrupts them and takes Kaitlyn’s water.
Cody Rhodes, Damien Sandow Does Not Approve of Your Terrible Mustache Pun.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 12, 2013
The snort!
— Bobby (@SunnyDewhite) March 12, 2013
Seriously, Sandow cockblocking Cody Rhodes from Kaitlyn is the most heel thing he’s ever done.
— Gentleman Tom (@TomQWood) March 12, 2013
Damien Sandow tells Cody Rhodes that since they weren’t able to face The New Age Outlaws, he’s made plans for them and two much more suitable companions.
Hey! It’s The Bella Twins! As a proud African A-Bellacan, I am happy to see them! Welcome back girls!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 12, 2013
Welcome back @nicoleandbri #BellaArmy #TwinMagic We were desperatelly in need of my Magic…
— Angélica Andrade(@angie_chipz) March 12, 2013
I’m glad Nikki brought her brand new set of Bella Twins. #Raw
— Victoria (@prettyheartless) March 12, 2013
Who’s holding the BELLABRATION?
— Alex M. Crimefighter (@failraiser) March 12, 2013
The Intellectual Savior of the Masses Likes Girls That Don’t Know The Difference Between “Vegan” & “Virgin?” Bet They Talk For Hours.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 12, 2013
Kaitlyn tells The Bella Twins that they got fired, but they say they’re back because the Divas division and the boys need them now more than ever. Kaitlyn leaves as Vickie Guerrero walks over to welcome The Bella Twins back and tell them that their double date will be cut short. Vickie tells Team Rhodes Scholars that since their match with The New Outlaws was cut short, they’ll have a new match tonight against Sheamus and Randy Orton.
How is that fair that Team Rhodes Scholars has to wrestle again? It’s not their fault that Brock Lesnar likes to hunt men for sport.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 12, 2013
Match 06: Ryback vs. Heath Slater
This match was brought to you by NXT: Season 1
— Not Regal (@RegalSays) March 12, 2013
Winner: Ryback
Sorry, The Ryback, Not As Impressive as Mark Henry’s Match.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 12, 2013
Post-match, Drew McIntyre tries to attack Ryback but gets Shell Shock. Mark Henry comes down to the ring.
Mark Henry’s gonna join 3MB! They found a drummer!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 12, 2013
Mark Henry and Ryback take turns beating down Drew McIntyre.
…Or not.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 12, 2013
Is this one of those things where the rams butt heads to prove dominance but they kill Drew? #RAW
— D. O’Brien (@Heinekenrana) March 12, 2013
“Did We Just Become Best Friends?!?” – The Ryback “Nooooo…” – Drew McIntryre.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 12, 2013
You know it’s bad when Taryn Terrell has a better wrestling career than Drew McIntyre right now.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 12, 2013
Mark Henry and Ryback have a stare down.
So this feud is over who gets to use the nickname “Silverback”, right?
— David Shoemaker (@AKATheMaskedMan) March 12, 2013
Lawler NAILED IT!!! Ryback must think Mark Henry is sexual chocolate. Ryback thinks he’s food!! #wrestlemania stip is loser gets eaten. #raw
— Because Wrestling (@BecuzWrestling) March 12, 2013
“WHY YA’LL AIN’T DO NOTHIN’ WHEN THE FAT BITCH JUMPED ON ME!” – Drew McIntyre to Jinder Mahal, also channeling Day-Day from Next Friday
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 12, 2013
Match 07: Alberto Del Rio vs. Antonio Cesaro
ALBERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) March 12, 2013
DEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) March 12, 2013
Can Ricardo Rodriguez Freelance as the Personal Ring Announcer for Fandango? I’d Like To See Fandango Actually Wrestle Next Time.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 12, 2013
@prettyheartless He Can Pull That Look Off.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 12, 2013
AND BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) March 12, 2013
Alberto Del Rio just used Goku’s “I’m a Saiyan but I was raised on Earth” speech.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 12, 2013
One Day, A Cesaro versus Del Rio will be a World Title Match.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 12, 2013
Who do I want to win this match between Alberto Del Rio and Antonio Cesaro? AMERICA! THAT’S WHO! …What the hell is SWISS CHEESE anyway?
— Zeb Colter (Parody) (@ZebColterUSA) March 12, 2013
Winner: Alberto Del Rio
Never thought I’d say it, but I’m really digging Del Rio as a face. #RAW
— Stacey Lee (@LittleSherbie) March 12, 2013
Cesaro was already tapping in the armbar and the ref still took a minute to ring the bell. What a jerk. #WWE #Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) March 12, 2013
How come Zeb Colter doesn’t have a problem with Cesaro holding the US title? Must think Switzerland is somewhere in Pennsylvania. #Raw
— Victoria (@prettyheartless) March 12, 2013
Backstage: Kane is with Josh Mathews. Mathews says it’s a troubling time. Kane is shown holding the urn. Kane just stares at the urn then walks off.
Oh Kane.;_;
— Mary (@thebitchrage) March 12, 2013
Remembering Paul Bearer: Kane’s Debut
“THAT’S GOTTA BE…THAT’S GOTTA BE KANE!”
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 12, 2013
Kane debuted 16 years ago. This tweet was brought to you by Stacey feels old. #RAW
— Stacey Lee (@LittleSherbie) March 12, 2013
The Rock vs. John Cena Preview:
So according to the WWE, John Cena’s marriage fell apart because he didn’t beat The Rock.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 12, 2013
@3manbooth “Make a Wish and Muscle Cars” will be the name of his ghostwritten autobiography.
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) March 12, 2013
Match 08: Team Rhodes Scholars vs. Randy Orton and Sheamus
Team Rhodes Scholars Shouldn’t Be Facing Team BrogueKO. They Prepped for the Outlaws, Not This Angry Duo
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 12, 2013
V-Bone Suplex by Randy Orton!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 12, 2013
Cody Got Hit With the No Look RKO! That One Goes In the Highlight Reel!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 12, 2013
Randy Orton just RKO’d the mustache off of Cody Rhodes!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 12, 2013
Orton with his Marvel vs Capcom RKO assist.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) March 12, 2013
Winner: Randy Orton and Sheamus
Nice finish there. #WWE #Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) March 12, 2013
That match was just unfair. Not only did Team Rhodes Scholars already wrestle but they’re also Booty/Bella Blind! That’s a huge disadvantage
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 12, 2013
Post-Match, The Shield attacks Randy Orton and Sheamus.
If The Shield would start playing a little air guitar, there would no longer be a need for 3MB. #Raw
— Victoria (@prettyheartless) March 12, 2013
Chris Jericho Highlight Reel with The Miz and Wade Barrett:
The Highlight Reel Is Coming Up! I Hope He Makes The Miz and Wade Barrett Fight Using Giant Robots!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 12, 2013
I guess Chris Jericho does interviews in his underwear…
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 12, 2013
Chris Jericho welcomes us to RAW is Jericho and the Highlight Reel, then plugs The Marine 3. Jericho introduces The Miz. The Miz and Jericho riff about talk shows until Wade Barrett interrupts.
Chris Jericho looks like a cockatoo. The unladylike version of this tweet would feature another cock joke. #Raw
— Victoria (@prettyheartless) March 12, 2013
Hollywood Wade Barrett. #RAW
— Guy LeDouche (@WellYoureWrong) March 12, 2013
Wade Barrett mocks The Miz’s acting then talks about how Dead Man Down opened in the Top 5 this weekend then shows a clip of him in the movie. I think. Can’t really see him.
Blink and you’ll miss Barrett’s acting. #RAW
— Stacey Lee (@LittleSherbie) March 12, 2013
It’s True! Dead Man Down Is In the Top 5! At Number 4! The Rock’s The Snitch Was Number 5.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 12, 2013
I can see Wade Barrett posting YouTube Video Reponses to people’s clips “YOU CALL THAT A MOVIE?!” “I WAS IN A MOVIE! DEAD MAN DOWN!”
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 12, 2013
The Miz does an impression of Wade Barrett. Barrett mocks The Miz’s acting then says he’s rejected dozens of offers from Hollywood because he’s too busy being the Intercontinental Champion and being Wade Barrett.
Wade Barrett Acts The Way Russell Crowe Sings: Violently.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 12, 2013
The Miz and Wade Barrett get in a “Really” off until Miz brings up the fact that Wade Barrett hasn’t won a match in weeks and claims it’s only a matter of time before Barrett loses his Intercontinental Championship. Chris Jericho does his own version of “Really” as Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler, the consummate professionals that they are, begin to trash the segment on live TV.
You are barely featured in your movie VS Your movie went straight to DVD
— George H. Scubb (@TimExiled) March 12, 2013
All The Great IC Champs Do Movies: Rob Van Damn, Roddy Piper, Christian … Hey! Where Is Christian?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 12, 2013
Wade Barrett tells Y2J to keep out of it before he drops him. Jericho takes off his jacket, gets in Barrett’s face and reminds him that he helped bring Wade Barrett into this company, and that although Barrett is a 2 time Intercontinental Champion, Jericho is a 9 time Intercontinental Champion. Chris Jericho almost challenges Wade Barrett, but Brad “Heartthrob Assistant” Maddoox interrupts telling them to “Stop It!” like they’re pets.
9 times. 9 times. 9 times. 9 times. 9times. 9 times. 9 times. 9 times. 9times.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) March 12, 2013
Jericho has finally reached the age where he can call guys “junior” without it sounding sarcastic. #WWE #Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) March 12, 2013
Here comes Brad “#HeartthrobAssistant” Maddox. AKA Ezra Fitz for you PLL fans.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 12, 2013
Maddox’s tone suggests he should be batting them all on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper. #WWE #Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) March 12, 2013
Heartthrob Assistant stumbles around, but eventually gets to the point: The Miz vs. Chris Jericho. Winner face Wade Barrett for the Intercontinental Championship next week.
This is…………something. #Raw
— Lustin Timberlake (@Evil__Empire) March 12, 2013
Match 09: Chris Jericho vs. The Miz (with Wade Barrett on commentary)
C’mon, Miz. Jericho knows how to counter the Figure-Four. It’s The American Sharpshooter!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 12, 2013
Chris Jericho throws The Miz into Wade Barrett. Wade Barrett attacks the two of them.
Winner: No Contest
Post-Match: Chris Jericho and The Miz both use their finishers on Wade Barrett.
Chris Jericho hits the Codebreaker! Followed by the “Aksana Crawl.” The only move he didn’t invent.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 12, 2013
Alberto Del Rio and RicRod parody Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter:
Alberto Del Rio lookin’ like Carol Brady. #Raw
— Victoria (@prettyheartless) March 12, 2013
This is watching an SNL sketch AFTER Weekend Update.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 12, 2013
Remembering Paul Bearer: Paul Bearer in a dress…
I blocked out the segment where Paul Bearer dressed as Mimi from The Drew Carey Show. Thanks for reminding me, WWE.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 12, 2013
I’m Pretty Sure There Were Other Options Other Than “Paul Bearer In a Dress” for Moments to Air on TV.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 12, 2013
Match 10: Sin Cara vs. Jack Swagger (with Zeb Colter)
Zeb Colter walks out with a mic and trashes Sin Cara for being an “illegal immigrant.”
“You Don’t Cheer Sin Cara. You’re Programmed To” Hey This Zeb Colter Guy Is Making Sense. “…Mexican Jumping Bean…” Welp! Lost Me Again!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 12, 2013
Sin Cara doesn’t understand English. All he understands is “Sin Cara” and “Mexican” so he thinks Zeb Colter is a fan of his.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 12, 2013
Winner: Jack Swagger
Damn Sin Cara, you insta-tapped.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) March 12, 2013
Post-Match, Jack Swagger keeps the Ankle Lock on until Alberto Del Rio makes the save.
At Least Sin Cara Gave It That Good Old College Try! Before Losing…
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 12, 2013
Halle Berry promotes The Call
Every time The Call trailer comes on, I picture Nick Carter singing “Let me tell you the story bout the call that changed my DESTINAAAY!”
— Victoria (@prettyheartless) March 12, 2013
Halle Berry gets a call from David Otunga who reveals he was forced to give away Halle Berry’s number to a certain WWE Superstar. Suddenly, Halle Berry gets another phone call from…
Oh my god! Oh my god! Kane this is awesome. This is awesome.
— Linda M (@MsSuperVillain) March 12, 2013
I love Kane so much.
— Chris Riddle (@ChrisRiddle) March 12, 2013
Kane says he knows where Halle Berry lives then says he has one question for her: Why Won’t Halle Berry return his fan mail? Kane talks about him and Halle Berry having a connection. Halle Berry realizes who it is then calls out Kane on his home address being from the “Depths Of Hell.”
LMAO! “You wrote that your address is the depths of Hell” That’s great.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) March 12, 2013
I still love comedy Kane
— FreeKickStunner (@FreeKickStunner) March 12, 2013
Kane says “The Depths Of Hell” is the opposite of kids writing to The North Pole for Santa Claus. Halle Berry says she’s going to kill Otunga. Kane asks if they’re still going on that picnic, but Halle Berry puts her phone down and does her own Fire Explosion Trick!
First of All, Halle Berry is Storm. You Could’ve Made the Lights Twinkle. Second, KANE has an Address, The Depth of Hell, and an Explanation
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 12, 2013
Kane and Halle Berry in a RomCom, Make it happen #RAW
— Guy LeDouche (@WellYoureWrong) March 12, 2013
Give Kane a shot, Halle!
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) March 12, 2013
I thought Kane had better game than that.. he’s gotten all those chicks, alive AND dead. #Raw
— Victoria (@prettyheartless) March 12, 2013
She wants the D, Kane.
— Natasha(@sailornatasha) March 12, 2013
Match 09: CM Punk vs. Kane
CM Punk rockin’ the Captain America gear.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) March 12, 2013
Did Brock beat Punk in a custody battle for Heyman or…? #Raw
— Victoria (@prettyheartless) March 12, 2013
Kane walks out with the urn.
He’s got the urn! He can’t lose!
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) March 12, 2013
Kane has the urn. He has the power of Taker AND his true powers. How can he be stopped? Punk is gonna get hit with a fireball.
— FreeKickStunner (@FreeKickStunner) March 12, 2013
If CM Punk Gets His Hands on the Earn, He’s Going to Turn It Into a Gold Chain Like Kama Mustafa Did. Fight With All Your Might, KANE!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 12, 2013
CM Punk Landed in The Chair! That Probably Hurt Worse.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 12, 2013
It’s messed up how they’re chanting CM Punk. Kane is clearly the face here. Then again, it IS CM Punk.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) March 12, 2013
Remember When CM and Kane Used to Have Terrible Matches? This is Making Up For It.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 12, 2013
This is How You Show Respect for Paul Bearer! Thanks USA for Letting RAW Keep Running.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 12, 2013
Kane you better win!
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) March 12, 2013
Careful, KANE. When You Get Emotional, You Make Terrible Decisions. Like Teaming with X-Pac and The Hurricane.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 12, 2013
CM Punk is about to win until a Gong is heard!
Taker! #Raw100
— Chris Riddle (@ChrisRiddle) March 12, 2013
The Undertaker’s Gong distracts CM Punk long enough for Kane to hit the Chokeslam.
Winner: Kane
KANE Wins! And 3 Great Main Event Matches In a Row For CM Punk!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 12, 2013
Kane urn’d that #RAW I’ll be here all week
— Guy LeDouche (@WellYoureWrong) March 12, 2013
Post-match, The Undertaker and Kane get on one knee and pose as the Paul Bearer tribute is shown on the screen.
Cue the waterworks.
— Chris Riddle (@ChrisRiddle) March 12, 2013
There we go! That’s how you end it.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 12, 2013
CM Punk attacks Kane from behind with The Urn then proceeds to beat Kane down with it!
…Nevermind. #DamnItPunk
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 12, 2013
Your brother is getting attacked in the ring. By all means, walk at a glacial pace. #RAW
— Stacey Lee (@LittleSherbie) March 12, 2013
Walk Faster, Taker!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) March 12, 2013
CM Punk escapes with the urn.
OH NO HE HAS THE URN
— FreeKickStunner (@FreeKickStunner) March 12, 2013
That was the fastest I’ve seen Undertaker walk in 10 years. I guess that’s how he runs. #Raw
— Victoria (@prettyheartless) March 12, 2013
CM Punk mocks The Undertaker’s taunt with the urn. The Undertaker responds with a taunt of his own.
OH NO HE HAS THE URN
— FreeKickStunner (@FreeKickStunner) March 12, 2013
I don’t know how, but CM Punk is the best AND the worst at the same time.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) March 12, 2013
I get so HYPE when wrestlers as big(good) as Taker and Punk have taunt offs.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) March 12, 2013
10 bucks if Punk puts the urn in his fridge tonight!
— Natasha(@sailornatasha) March 12, 2013
So That Happened:
It went overtime but that was a good ending to Raw.
— Not Regal (@RegalSays) March 12, 2013
Paul Bearer, still contributing to professional wrestling even after his death. #RIPPaulBearer #Raw
— Victoria (@prettyheartless) March 12, 2013
It’s crazy how post death, wrestlers still contribute so much to a storyline. Paul’s passing increased the intensity on Taker/Punk.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) March 12, 2013
Punk and Taker at Mania was already hype, but it wasn’t personal. Now it’s personal.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) March 12, 2013
I will say this though, They did what they did well though because as much as I love Punk I will pay good money to see Taker kick his ass.
— Chris Riddle (@ChrisRiddle) March 12, 2013
Check out my tribute to Paul Bearer. (RT!) #Kane #Undertaker eadgery.deviantart.com/art/Rest-in-Pe…
— Eddie Nieves (@Eadgery) March 12, 2013