RAW kicks off with John Cena making his return after a week long absence.
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| Courtesy of WWE.com |
Cena tells his BFF, Stu The Camerman that being here injured is “Better than sitting on the couch.” Stu is working with 2 broken arms, John.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 9, 2012
Oh No, John Cena has the symbiote on his arm!
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) October 9, 2012
John Cena’s broken arm looks like one of those bad Smackdown vs. RAW/WWE12 tattoos.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 9, 2012
John Cena says that it’s great to be back on RAW and how a week off RAW felt like torture. As he’s speaking, the boos kick in.
While Getting Elbow Surgery, John Cena Should’ve Gotten an Ear Implant to Filter Out the Boos When He Comes to The Ring.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 9, 2012
The John Cena inception rule. One week off feels like a year and one year off feels like a lifetime. Knock yourself out.
— Not Regal (@RegalSays) October 9, 2012
John Cena goes on a tirade about what he’s seen on RAW in the past week. Cena mentions Antonio Cesaro’s Nipples, The Divas and Team Hell No.
I wish he got surgery on his joke telling.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) October 9, 2012
Antonio’s Gynocomastia is no laughing matter. #RAW
— Shakil (@TheyCallHimKiD) October 9, 2012
Now that John Cena’s back, he’s had a whole week to work on his new “comedy routine.” Riveting stuff. Dane Cook style of hilarity.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 9, 2012
@prettyheartless You just don’t understand his high-brow nipple and goat humor.
— Saul Goodman (@TimExiled) October 9, 2012
John Cena uses his time to ask AJ Lee out on a date, maybe to In And Out Burger.
IN N OUT. Hell Yeah. #wwe #raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) October 9, 2012
A serious pop for In N Out
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) October 9, 2012
John Cena switches to serious mode and talks about CM Punk’s Title Reign. Cena says that if CM Punk is the Best In The World, what does it matter if people do not want to watch? Cena says people watch for moments like Money In The Bank and Night Of Champions and feels that at Hell In A Cell, people will be watching for another moment. Cena says that with one arm, one leg, no arms, he will go to HIAC to fight for the WWE Championship.
Cena in so many words just said that CM Punk CANT DRAW. #wwe #raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) October 9, 2012
@prettyheartless Oh, Believe Me, I’m For This Idea.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 9, 2012
John Cena says that people don’t dislike CM Punk because he’s a Paul Heyman Guy, they dislike him because he refuses to be a man. Cena tells Punk not to “be a punk” and to face John Cena at Hell In A Cell.
“Punk. Don’t be a Punk. Be A Star.” – John Cena
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 9, 2012
John Cena thanks the crowd and leaves as The Ryback’s music hits.
Match 01: The Ryback vs. Primo and Epico
Uh-oh! Ryback is going to take out John Cena and get revenge for his fallen Nexus buddy, Skip Sheffield!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 9, 2012
Michael Cole, The Ryback Does NOT Call Himself “The Big Hungry.” No One Calls Him That. He’s The Ryback.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 9, 2012
They should bring Gene Okerlund back so Ryback and walk past him and refuse to be interviewed, much to Gene’s bufuddlement. #WWE #Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) October 9, 2012
C’mon, man! What’s Primo and Epico do to deserve this?
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 9, 2012
*covers @keepitfivestar‘s eyes* It’ll be over soon 😦
— Victoria (@prettyheartless) October 9, 2012
And a Feed Me More chant explodes out. How over is this guy?
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) October 9, 2012
Winner: The Ryback
This is racist.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 9, 2012
It Looks Like The Ryback is Redeeming His Performance Against Tensai Last Week, Two Colons At a Time.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 9, 2012
Match 02: Brodus Clay vs. R-Truth
Brodus Clay looks like he’s phoning the dancing in tonight.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 9, 2012
LMAO Clay acting like he’s not in the mood. Phoned in dancing and everything.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) October 9, 2012
Is that Brodus Clay or an extra from The Sopranos?
— Not Regal (@RegalSays) October 9, 2012
Brodus Clay Is Breaking Out New Moves: Driving The Bus. The Rooster Strut. Somebody was Playing Just Dance Over the Weekend …
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 9, 2012
R-Truth mentions that Little Jimmy is going through puberty and that he doesn’t want to wrestle.
I don’t know about you, but when I went through puberty, I didn’t want to dance, Little Jimmy. I wanted to get laid & listen to Linkin Park.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 9, 2012
R-Truth says Little Jimmy would rather dance. Brodus Clay, The Funkadactyls, R-Truth and Little Jimmy dance….
No. No dancing! No. #Raw
— Linda (@LMitch87) October 9, 2012
Lil Jimmy is dancing naked. #wwe #Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) October 9, 2012
Little Jimmy dances because he’s going through puberty.
— Saul Goodman (@TimExiled) October 9, 2012
First the Puerto Ricans get destroyed by the White Man. Then the Blacks start dancin. #RAWIsRacist
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 9, 2012
Mr. McMahon interrupts the dancing and says sends Brodus Clay, R-Truth and The Funkadactyls to the back because he’s ready to have his State Of The WWE Address.
VINCE!
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) October 9, 2012
Vince saves the day.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) October 9, 2012
Vince McMahon. “Dance up the ramp”, pretty much take your ass to the back. #raw
— Linda (@LMitch87) October 9, 2012
Mr. McMahon literally put a stop the buffoonery. It was too much black. Even for him.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 9, 2012
Winner: Mr. McMahon
Mr. McMahon’s State Of The WWE Address:
Mr. McMahon makes his entrance doing his trademark McMahon Strut.
#McMahonStrut
— Not Regal (@RegalSays) October 9, 2012
Mr. McMahon mentions that we just saw two grown men and two lovely ladies dance with an imaginary child, but says there’s room for that in the WWE. Mr. McMahon goes on to name more ridiculous things in the WWE then says that the most important thing in the WWE is action. Mr. McMahon says we want to see champions take on all comers and see the best take on the best. As Mr. McMahon smiles, CM Punk’s music hits and he comes to the ring wearing a new yellow shirt.
Well I’m not surprised it’d segway into CM Punk showing up, and with a new shirt.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) October 9, 2012
CM Punk’s new shirt……*thumbs down*
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) October 9, 2012
Not a Fan of CM Punk’s New Shirt. It’s Hard to Be The Franchise In Yellow. Ask Shane Douglas.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 9, 2012
CM Punk’s new shirt looks like an UNO Card.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 9, 2012
Mr. McMahon says that CM Punk is wearing an ugly t-shirt and that Punk is disrespecting him by interrupting his State Of The WWE Address. CM Punk says disrespect is Mr. McMahon rambling on about what people want to see. CM Punk says Mr. McMahon mentioning champions and not mentioning Punk’s name is a shot at him because he won’t step in the ring against John Cena at Hell In A Cell.
CM Punk looks like Antonio Cesaro’s brother with that haircut. “Claudio M. Punk Cesaro.”
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 9, 2012
So Vince Doesn’t Like Random Dancing or CM Punk’s Shirt. What DOES Vince Like Nowadays? JAG and Ovaltine?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 9, 2012
CM Punk mentions that he gave John Cena multiple title shots but Cena couldn’t get the job done. Punk says the people still don’t respect him then asks Mr. McMahon if he respects CM Punk?
“The People In The Back Don’t Respect Me. The People Out Here Don’t Respect Me. Merchandise Doesn’t Respect Me! Look At This Shirt!”
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 9, 2012
Mr. McMahon says he respects that CM Punk has been champion, but admits that he’s not a “CM Punk Guy.” CM Punk says he knows this and that Mr. McMahon should be a CM Punk guy because he is the Best In The World and WWE Champion. CM Punk mentions that last year, he was just a spoke on the wheel but now he is the wheel. Punk says he’s the best thing Mr. McMahon and the WWE has right now and is appalled by the disrespect.
Vince telling the truth but in a positive tone. Very political.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) October 9, 2012
Hell froze over a little.
— Saul Goodman (@TimExiled) October 9, 2012
CM Punk says that Mr. McMahon should appreciate him more and that the fans don’t care about Jim Ross Appreciation Night or Jerry Lawler. CM Punk asks for his own appreciation night and says the WWE Universe should appreciate him more. Punk says that if he doesn’t start getting the respect he deserves, he’ll do what he did last year, hop the rail and quit and not come back this time. CM Punk says he’s the reason people are here and the reason that Mr. McMahon has a jet and fuel for his jet.
Where’s Trent Barreta appreciation night?
— Bobby (@SunnyDewhite) October 9, 2012
Punk is the reason why Vince can fuel his jet? Not in California! $5.00 a gallon. Not even Vince can afford that. #RAW
— Thunderous Overlord (@WellYoureWrong) October 9, 2012
CM Punk says that if he isn’t the reason for WWE’s success, then who is? Mr. McMahon says it isn’t one person, but it’s the WWE Universe. Mr. McMahon says that CM Punk needs to listen to the WWE Universe then says he listens to them every day. McMahon says the WWE Universe is saying that someone needs to shut CM Punk up.
Face Vince: Loves the WWE fans. Heel Vince: (To fans)) SHUT UP!
— Not Regal (@RegalSays) October 9, 2012
We’re all saying “push the shit out of Daniel Bryan and CM Punk and Antonio Cesar–oh. #WWE #Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) October 9, 2012
I Guess I’m Not Around the Same People As Vince McMahon. All I Hear is “We Want Dean Ambrose.”
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 9, 2012
I tweet every Monday night and not one sane person has ever said that, Vince. #Raw
— Victoria (@prettyheartless) October 9, 2012
Mr. McMahon calls CM Punk for mentioning that he’s one of the greats then says that Punk is nowhere near the caliber of Andre The Giant, Shawn Michaels, Triple H, Bret Hart, or a Stone Cold Steve Austin. CM Punk agrees that he’s not like Stone Cold Steve Austin because he made it to the top because of hard work, perseverance and never backing down. Unlike Austin, who took shots and ran away from fights. CM Punk says what catapulted Austin to the top was beating up a clueless, inept millionaire and says that it’s good that Austin did it back then because now the millionaire has become more clueless and more inept and is now a senior citizen. CM Punk asks Mr. McMahon if he’s mad.
You mad? #Raw
— Victoria (@prettyheartless) October 9, 2012
He really said “U Mad?”
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) October 9, 2012
CM Punk just said “U Mad!” He’s onto the Internet slang. Next he’s going to come out with an army of LOLCATS
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 9, 2012
All CM Punk needs to say now.. “Go catch the Early Bird at the Sizzler, Vinny” #RAW
— Thunderous Overlord (@WellYoureWrong) October 9, 2012
CM Punk says it’s the way the WWE Universe treats him is like a slap to the face. Punk says it’s a slap in the face the way Mr. McMahon treats him and that he’s been doing it for years. CM Punk slaps Mr. McMahon in the face then says “That’s a slap in your face” before dropping the mic and leaving.
#PUNKSLAPPED #RAW
— Thunderous Overlord (@WellYoureWrong) October 9, 2012
Did NOT See That Coming!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 9, 2012
I real life gasped when Punk slapped McMahon. #youmad? #Raw
— Victoria (@prettyheartless) October 9, 2012
@yourboydrew He only has like 7 HP in his state and age.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) October 9, 2012
Mr. McMahon says he should fire CM Punk but that’s too good for Punk. Instead, Mr. McMahon challenges CM Punk to a match and claims by the end of the night, CM Punk is going to learn something about respect.
Angry Vince is my shit though.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) October 9, 2012
Easy Vince. You’re not up against WCW anymore for the ratings you don’t need to publicize a bout for yourself.
— Not Regal (@RegalSays) October 9, 2012
Punk vs Vince McMahon. C’mon Punk should know better.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) October 9, 2012
CM Punk vs Vince McMahon tonight. Linda McMahon is probably shaking her head right now.#wwe #Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) October 9, 2012
CM Punk blows a kiss to Mr. McMahon as Paul Heyman says this went the wrong way. Punk disagrees and says that he has McMahon exactly where he wants him. Punk tells Heyman to trust him and that everything’s going to be fine.
Paul Heyman’s Facial Expressions Were Amazing. He Was Thinking “This is What Happens to ALL ‘Paul Heyman’ Guys.”
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 9, 2012
It’s like CM Punk is Larry David and Paul Heyman is his manager, Jeff.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 9, 2012
Match 03: ReyCara vs The Prime Time Players
#MILLIONSOFDOLLAS
— Thunderous Overlord (@WellYoureWrong) October 9, 2012
Rey Mysterio is dressed like a Latex Condom.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 9, 2012
Oh we’re still doing the shitty masked thing.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) October 9, 2012
Fun Fact: Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara Sent In Separate Orders for Ring Gear But These Hybrid Masks Came In. Thus, a Tag Team Was Formed.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 9, 2012
Winners: ReyCara
If the middle rope didnt exist Rey Mysterio would be screwed. #wwe #Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) October 9, 2012
So all the actual tag teams in the Tag Title Tournament can’t win?
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 9, 2012
I Wan’t Backing Either Team In Rey Cara v. Prime Time Players. I was Hoping for a Bye to Rhodes Scholars Could Take Advantage.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 9, 2012
Backstage: Paul Heyman tells CM Punk that this match with Mr. McMahon is a must lose situation. CM Punk says that Mr. McMahon isn’t the same guy that stepped in the ring with Stone Cold Steve Austin. Punk calls himself dangerous and says that he’s going to annihilate McMahon. Paul Heyman tells Punk that if he does that, Mr. McMahon is going to be obsessed with making their lives miserable. Punk assures Heyman that they have nothing to worry about and that he’ll find a way to win.
Paul Heyman Makes Sense Tonight. No One Does Middle-Aged and Crazy Like Vince McMahon, Even When He’s Senior Citizen!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 9, 2012
Match 04: Wade Barrett vs Sheamus
Fun fact: The opening line of Sheamus’s theme, “It’s a shameful thing,” refers to his character’s truly ludicrous racism. #Raw
— Chris Sims (@theisb) October 9, 2012
#ScumbagSheamus #sheamoose #fella #RAW
— Thunderous Overlord (@WellYoureWrong) October 9, 2012
Sheamus and JBL Probably Get Along Really Well. They Both Have Bully as Their Native Language.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 9, 2012
Scumbag Sheamus vs. Good Guy Barrett.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 9, 2012
Big Show’s music hits and he comes down to watch the match.
#BigShowRuinsThings
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 9, 2012
#BigShowRuinsThings
— Mr.Jones (@Batman_Infinite) October 9, 2012
#BigShowRuinsThings #RAW
— Shakil (@TheyCallHimKiD) October 9, 2012
#BigShowRuinsEverything
— Not Regal (@RegalSays) October 9, 2012
The match continues as JBL continuously makes fun of Michael Cole.
JBL: The Bully We Want. Sheamus: The Bully We Don’t Need.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 9, 2012
Is Jericho yelling down JBL’s headset to talk about Wade Barrett?
— Not Regal (@RegalSays) October 9, 2012
“Can’t you go climb a mountain or something?” – Michael Cole’Better than carrying you out here” JBL, King Of The Bullies…and mountains.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 9, 2012
“It’s easier than carrying you out here!” Damn JBL!
— Bill S. Preston, Esq (@Miss_Dani_Baby) October 9, 2012
Sheamus Should Adopt Piper’s Old Motto: “Tired Of Talkin’ Time To Do Some Fightin’!” He’s Better (re: Not Racist) When He’s Only Fighting.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 9, 2012
Tensai interferes in the match and attacks Sheamus.
Winner: Sheamus by DQ
… And Tensai Spoils The Party.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 9, 2012
Post-Match Wade Barrett and Tensai attack Sheamus.
Racially Insensitive Tensai has just become Racially Sensitive Tensai! He’s tired of Sheamus’ Racism and is putting a stop to this!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 9, 2012
Tensai coming to a party he wasn’t even invited to.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) October 9, 2012
Sheamus Brogue Kicks Tensai then throws Wade Barrett out of the ring.
Get out of this kerfluffle as fast as you can Barrett.
— Saul Goodman (@TimExiled) October 9, 2012
Sheamus goes for the Brogue Kick but Big Show grabs his foot then hurls him out of the ring. Sheamus gets up shortly after prepared to fight, but Big Show leaves the ring.
Big Show almost killed Sheamoose… #GoHomeBigShow
— Thunderous Overlord (@WellYoureWrong) October 9, 2012
Of course Sheamus gets up in 5 seconds. Not like that should hurt or anything. #ScumbagSheamus
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 9, 2012
JBL and Jim Ross argue over the McMahon vs. Punk match tonight. JR says that he’s going to have a talk with Mr. McMahon then leaves the announce booth.
LMAO JBL snapped
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) October 9, 2012
LOL, JBL is freaking out.
— Thunderous Overlord (@WellYoureWrong) October 9, 2012
The only way I’d be okay with Vince McMahon in a match would be if there was a training montage with Shane McMahon beforehand. #Raw
— Victoria (@prettyheartless) October 9, 2012
Backstage: CM Punk tries to talk AJ Lee into stopping his match with Mr. McMahon out of fear of her losing her job. Punk says he’s going to break Mr. McMahon’s arms and legs and put him in a wheelchair. Punk says the Board Of Directions won’t blame him for hurting Mr. McMahon but the they will point the blame at AJ. AJ Lee says she knows he’s afraid to face John Cena, but is shocked that CM Punk is afraid to face him too. CM Punk says that he only came in here to give AJ Lee a chance at saving her job, but now, anything that happens to Mr. McMahon is on AJ Lee’s head.
For a second, I thought AJ Lee was wearing the Duckie Tie from How I Met Your Mother.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 9, 2012
Wish CM Punk would stop walking around looking like a dirty piece of cheese. #wwe #raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) October 9, 2012
If There’s a Vince McMahon Strut on RAW, Then There Should Also Be an AJ Lee Skip. It’s Only Fair.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 9, 2012
Did Jim Ross Get Lost On His Way to Vince McMahon? Or Did He Go “Interview McMahon” So He Can Use The Bathroom? 3 Hours Is a Long Time.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 9, 2012
Match 05: Antonio Cesaro vs. Tyson Kidd
A video is shown of Antonio Cesaro trashing American food and calling Americans Obese. David Vic AKA Vic The Vendor, serves Cesaro his cheese fries.
Antonio Cesaro knows America so well. #wwe #raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) October 9, 2012
Antonio Cesaro refuses the cheese fries then walks away. Vic The Vendor looks around then…well I don’t want to overhype it, but a star is born.
YES!!!!!!!!! MOVE OVER HAROLD! THE VENDOR JUST STOLE SHOW!!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 9, 2012
The Vendor Just Stole Monday Night RAW! The WWE’s Found Their Next Breakout Star!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 9, 2012
The WWE has a star in the Nacho eating Vendor. Let’s call him Vic. Vic The Vendor! #VicVendor
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 9, 2012
Upon closer inspection, I realize the Vendor’s name is David.
Apparently, the name tag said David. So The Vendor’s name is David Vic. #VicTheVendor
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 9, 2012
Winner: Antonio Cesaro
That was the greatest uppercut I’ve ever seen. I jumped because I thought he was going to let Kidd just fall to the ground. #RAW
— Tyler Edwards (@Und3rAverageJoe) October 9, 2012
Antonio Cesaro can do no wrong in my eyes. #VeryEuropean #wwe #Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) October 9, 2012
Fun Fact: If Tyson Kidd won this match, he would’ve won Antonio Cesaro’s spot as #WWE13 DLC. He lost…
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 9, 2012
Fun Fact: Jim Ross Went In the Back to “Sharpen Some Pencils” for JBL. And To Get Nachos From #VicTheVendor
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 9, 2012
Match 06: Dolph Ziggler and Alberto Del Rio vs. Team Hell No
I’M HERE TO SELL THE WORLD! I’M HERE TO SELL THE WORLD!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 9, 2012
I look at Ziggler with his shirt and I think to myself. “SLAP YOUR HAND WITH MY HAND BRO” #DoubleDragonNeon
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) October 9, 2012
#ZiggleWiggle #Dead #Goodnight #raw
— Linda (@LMitch87) October 9, 2012
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) October 9, 2012
It’s Daniel Bryan and Kane vs. Dolph Ziggler and Alberto Del Rio: Team Hell No vs. Team Career Purgatory.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 9, 2012
The littlest viking. Daniel Bryan. #No#No#No#No#StopIt
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) October 9, 2012
I hope Daniel Bryan’s beard vs. JR’s goatee is next week’s main event. #Raw
— Victoria (@prettyheartless) October 9, 2012
I can hear Daniel Bryan’s beard moving in the wind. #ItsMajestic
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) October 9, 2012
Is It Too Late for Ziggler and ADR to Enter The Tag Team Tournament? They’d Be “Team Shiny Tights” If The WWE Universe Voted.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 9, 2012
LOL the exchange between Ricardo and Vickie
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) October 9, 2012
“FINISH HIM!” – Vickie Guerrero channeling Shao Khan
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 9, 2012
You’d think Kane would realise the double chokeslam only works on the Superstars main eventers by now.
— Not Regal (@RegalSays) October 9, 2012
Winners: Team Hell No
Team Hell No wins! GREAT tag match. #wwe #raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) October 9, 2012
These guys put on fun matches.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) October 9, 2012
DB & Kane Not Only Poured Gasoline on the Ash That Was the Tag Team Division, But They’re Also Jump Started Sales Of The Tag Belt Replicas.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 9, 2012
Backstage: Jim Ross tries to reason with Mr. McMahon about facing CM Punk tonight. Ross says as his friend, that Mr. McMahon has nothing to gain by facing CM Punk. Mr. McMahon tells JR that he appreciates’s concern but remembers Ross calling some of his matches with Austin and yelling “Stone COLD!” several times. Mr. McMahon wants JR to do him the honor of calling his match tonight and out “MCMAHON!” several times like he did for Austin. JR reluctantly agrees, but McMahon says he’s impatient and would like to hear it now. JR does as he’s told then says that he still thinks Mr. McMahon is making a mistake. McMahon responds to Ross by quoting The Rock and saying, “It DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK!” McMahon tells Ross he’ll see him out there tonight then walks off.
You would think that Jim Ross would want to see Vince get beat up after all the crap he has put him through. #wwe #raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) October 9, 2012
Larry King Now with special guest: The Miz
LARRY KING #RAW
— Thunderous Overlord (@WellYoureWrong) October 9, 2012
Teenagers love Larry King more than Justin Beiber. #wwe #Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) October 9, 2012
Larry King, Relevant to today’s youth! #RAW
— Thunderous Overlord (@WellYoureWrong) October 9, 2012
Larry King: The Ric Flair of broadcasting. #RAW
— Tyler Edwards (@Und3rAverageJoe) October 9, 2012
Larry King greets Sacramento then gets ready to introduce The Miz, but The Miz’s music hits and he interrupts King by saying that there’s no need for King to introduce him, because he is the most Must See WWE Superstar on RAW. The Miz says if things go well with this interview, he might show up on Larry King’s new show, Larry King Now. Miz asks Larry King if he knows what today is, then tells him that today is one of the greatest day of all days because it is his birthday.
Man, MizTV Was So Bad, They Gave It To Larry King?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 9, 2012
How’d MizTV get cancelled before The Mob Doctor?
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 9, 2012
Happy Birthday Miz! #wwe #raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) October 9, 2012
Poor Miz, celebrating his birthday in Sacramento.#HappyBirthdayMikefromTheRealWorld #RAW
— Thunderous Overlord (@WellYoureWrong) October 9, 2012
Larry King needs to hit a stunner on Miz.
— Saul Goodman (@TimExiled) October 9, 2012
The Miz demands that Larry King and his wife lead the entire audience in singing Happy Birthday to The Miz. King says he has it on good authority that no one cares that it’s Miz’s birthday. King says he loves the WWE because can do things in the WWE that he can’t do in his own show like replace a boring guest with a better guest. Larry King introduces his new guest Kofi Kingston!
Way to sneak Kofi back into singles comp.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) October 9, 2012
Larry King? The Miz? Kofi Kingston? Bring Out iCarly and Hit All The Demographics in One Segment!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 9, 2012
Kofi Kingston says he’s here on Larry King Now to promote “The Good Word.” Kofi says the “good word” is that Monday Night RAW in here live Sacramento.
The good word is that Kofi Kingston is BACK! BACK in the Intercontinental Division.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 9, 2012
I was half hoping that Kofi would speak with a Jamaican accent.
— Bill S. Preston, Esq (@Miss_Dani_Baby) October 9, 2012
The Miz interrupts with his “Really” chant then says he can’t tell who’s less relevant: A “Has-Been Talk Show Host” or a “Never Was Superstar.” Miz claims if he wasn’t on this stage it would be filled with amateurs. Miz says that Kofi wishes he was a champion, while Larry King wishes he was as good of a talk show host as Miz is when he was Miz’s age. Miz continues to brag by saying that he’s had more championships than Larry King has had wives and that Kofi Kingston has had Main Events. Larry King tries to stand up but Miz forces him to sit down.
Larry King looks like the NES version of Bowser(King Koopa)
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) October 9, 2012
Larry King Has Done More for Suspenders Than Any Other Superstar Since Irwin R. Schyster
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 9, 2012
Larry King has legs???? #wwe #raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) October 9, 2012
The Miz demands that Larry King take his show and leave before he suffers another divorce, specifically, Miz divorcing King’s Big Head from his Little Body. Larry King’s wife Shawn stands up and tosses a cup of water in Miz’s face.
I was hoping for Maryse to make a surprise return and come to The Miz’s aid by attacking Larry King’s wife.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 9, 2012
@donnybrookboys Don’t do that.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 9, 2012
Kofi Kingston finally decides to get involved and starts attacking Miz before throwing him off the stage. After the attack, Kofi takes off his shirt and tie then dives off the stage and jumps at The Miz.
#AirKofi
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 9, 2012
Kofi why’d you strip, though? o.o
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) October 9, 2012
I’m not sure why Kofi went shirtless but whatever.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) October 9, 2012
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| Courtesy of WWE.com |
Kofi Kingston attacks The Miz all the way to the back as Larry King says “Goodnight” to Sacramento.
I’m guessing Kofi will have to go the Jericho route of multiple IC title reigns before he hits the big one. If he ever does.
— Not Regal (@RegalSays) October 9, 2012
Kofi Kingston will feud with The Miz to become the intercontinental champion for the 100th time! #wwe #raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) October 9, 2012
Kofi Kingston Could Do Worse for Tag Team Partners Than Mr. & Mrs. Larry King. He Teamed with R-Truth and an IMAGINARY CHILD for a Year.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 9, 2012
Match 07: Co-Bro vs. Rhodes Scholars
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOA-OHHHHHHHHHH! (HALLELUJAH!) WHOOOOOOOOOOOOA-OHHHHHHHHHH! (HALLELUJAH!)
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 9, 2012
I feel like Rhodes Scholars would be 2 smart kids in school that would mock you in a 3 person project and not let you do anything.#RAW
— Tyler Edwards (@Und3rAverageJoe) October 9, 2012
Yes! My favorite team! #RhodesScholars #AKATeamFuckingAwesome #Raw
— Victoria (@prettyheartless) October 9, 2012
Winners: Rhodes Scholars
Cody Rhodes with the assist to Sandow’s Cartwheel!
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) October 9, 2012
Will The Winner of Rhodes Scholar and Rey Cara Earn a Tag Team Theme Before the Pay Per View?
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 9, 2012
Prepare yourselves for Slater, Mahal and McIntyre.
— Not Regal (@RegalSays) October 9, 2012
Post-Match, Encore/The Band jumps Santino Marella again.
And here’s an Encore, Santino getting jumped.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) October 9, 2012
Heath Slater, Drew McIntyre and Jinder Mahal bond and attack Santino Marella due to their hatred of Sock Puppets
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 9, 2012
Encore/The Band celebrate their beatdown by dancing and playing imaginary instruments.
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| Courtesy of PinfallMagazine |
LMFAO Drew’s air guitar.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) October 9, 2012
Wait what Jinder was doing in the ring was considered dancing? I thought he was itching or something. #wwe #Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) October 9, 2012
Jinder Mahal couldn’t look SO out of place.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) October 9, 2012
I Feel Bad For Santino. No One Wants To Get Beat Up to a Beat. It’s Like Getting Kicked By Riverdance.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 9, 2012
Should just go ahead and call them The Corrre.
— Saul Goodman (@TimExiled) October 9, 2012
Backstage: Paul Heyman tries to talk Mr. McMahon out of the match with CM Punk tonight but fails. Heyman pleads with McMahon to not let CM Punk do to him what Brock Lesnar did to his son-in-law, Triple H.
Vince is still in good shape, how about that.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) October 9, 2012
VINCE. IS. STILL. RIPPED. #wwe #raw #FeedHimMore
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) October 9, 2012
Match 08: Kaitlyn vs. Handsome Eve Torres (with Layla on commentary)
4 PERSON BOOTH. YEAH. #RAW
— Thunderous Overlord (@WellYoureWrong) October 9, 2012
“SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKS LIKE A HEEEEEEEEEEEE!”
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 9, 2012
World’s Most Handsome Woman, Eve! $RAW
— Thunderous Overlord (@WellYoureWrong) October 9, 2012
I Didn’t Realized How Much I Missed Kaitlyn’s DDR Theme Until It Just Came On!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 9, 2012
Kaitlyn comes out with her one Michael Jackson shoe.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 9, 2012
Kaitlyn with the Mark Henry taped boot. #RAW
— Thunderous Overlord (@WellYoureWrong) October 9, 2012
You can do it Kaitlyn… CHANNEL YOUR YELLOW ROPES POWER.
— Bobby (@SunnyDewhite) October 9, 2012
TORTURE RACK, SHADES OF LEX LUGER.
— Thunderous Overlord (@WellYoureWrong) October 9, 2012
Kaitlyn just did the torture rack! #wwe #Raw #Luger
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) October 9, 2012
Heel hook #RAW
— Thunderous Overlord (@WellYoureWrong) October 9, 2012
Winner: Handsome Eve Torres
Post-Match, Layla checks on Kaitlyn. Handsome Eve Torres tries to help but Layla shoves her down
.
Layla’s Mad Because Kaitlyn’s Her New Clubbing Partner. Now They Won’t Be Able to Go Out Tonight. Thanks, Eve …
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 9, 2012
Backstage: Josh Mathews tries to Alberto Del Rio about Randy Orton tweeting that he’ll be at Smackdown, but Del Rio could care less. Mathews keeps trying but Del Rio walks away from him.
“This one tweet said your name… so… let’s discuss.”
— Saul Goodman (@TimExiled) October 9, 2012
Backstage: Larry King and Shawn talk about The Miz until they are interrupted by Daniel Bryan who has a question.
“Aberdeen, Washington, You’re The Next Caller.” That Was Amazing! Who Gave Larry King The Best Lines!?!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 9, 2012
Daniel Bryan reminds Larry King about the time David Letterman called him an owl, then compares the situation to people calling him “goatface.” Bryan asks Larry King how he dealt with it, but cuts him off saying that King does look like an owl.
Larry King and Daniel Bryan together. Such a weird moment in my life.
— Saul Goodman (@TimExiled) October 9, 2012
Daniel Bryan calls himself incredibly attractive then hits on Larry King’s wife, Shawn, who says she doesn’t make a habit out of dating guys who look like they sleep under bridges with trolls. Bryan defends the one time he slept under a bridge until Larry King tells Daniel Bryan to accept the Goatface moniker, then introduces the next caller from Part’s Unknown, Kane!
@3manbooth Sin City, you’re up!
— Chris (@Dusty_Knackers) October 9, 2012
Daniel Bryan should wear a pic in beard, like how Quest Love wears one in his afro.
— hates rednail polish (@YourBoyDrew) October 9, 2012
Kane tells Daniel Bryan that people are talking about how Kane has carried Bryan’s “goatface” ever since Kane became the Tag Team Champions. Bryan says he’s the Tag Team Champions then argues with Kane about insulting his looks. Bryan says Kane looks like he’s been slapped with a fruit roll up.
“Slapped you in the face with a Fruit Roll Up” That makes NO sense but it made me laugh.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) October 9, 2012
Fruit Rollup Face! #Raw
— Victoria (@prettyheartless) October 9, 2012
Kane says he should slap Daniel Bryan’s head and the two argue some more. Kane says that Bryan looks like a Chia Pet, but they stop arguing when they realize Larry King and Shawn are gone. Daniel Bryan blames Kane for scaring off Larry King. Kane says he didn’t know that was Larry King and thought that was Skeletor.
“YOU CHIA PET!” “I thought that was Skeletor” Never forget, Kane is hilarious.
— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) October 9, 2012
Kane & Daniel Bryan WIN the night. #wwe #Raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) October 9, 2012
I Stand Corrected. Kane and Daniel Bryan Still Have the Best Lines.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 9, 2012
Backstage: Paul Heyman hypes up CM Punk saying that Mr. McMahon doesn’t care that he’s the WWE Champion, or that he’s the Best In The World. Heyman says that Mr. McMahon is going to plan that they spend the rest of their lives in hell unless Punk beats McMahon to the point that he can never make another decision for the rest of his life. CM Punk says he’s going to victimize Mr. McMahon and that he’s going to enjoy every single second of it.
“Vince McMahon Will Make Sure We Spend the Rest of Our Lives In Hell.” Relax, Paul Heyman. No One’s Sending You to TNA.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 9, 2012
Okay can we start the match so Punk can take off the peepee shirt? #Raw
— Victoria (@prettyheartless) October 9, 2012
Match 09: CM Punk vs. Mr. McMahon
CM Punk attacks Mr. McMahon from behind while he makes his entrance.
CM Punk with the #WWE12 Cut Scene Attack!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 9, 2012
A wild CM Punk Appeared #RAW
— Thunderous Overlord (@WellYoureWrong) October 9, 2012
Finally! CM Punk took the UNO Shirt off!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 9, 2012
Every time JBL starts talking about McMahon it just sounds like he’s angling for a bonus. #WWE #Raw
— DonnyBrook Boys (@donnybrookboys) October 9, 2012
Vince Got Up For a Second And Asked “Who Hit Me? It Must Have Been an Octopus!”
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 9, 2012
CM Punk mocks Mr. McMahon by doing commentary. He mentions the classic McMahon line “WHAT A MANEUVER!”
WHATTAMANUVER #RAW
— Thunderous Overlord (@WellYoureWrong) October 9, 2012
Punk doing commentary while beating up Vince? Epic. #raw
— Linda (@LMitch87) October 9, 2012
The kids don’t understand, how funny What A Maneuver is. #RAW
— Thunderous Overlord (@WellYoureWrong) October 9, 2012
CM Punk: Making Mid-Match Commentary Cool Again Since 1999.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 9, 2012
CM Punk tries to GTS Mr. McMahon, but McMahon slips out and pushes CM Punk into the ring post. McMahon picks up a mic then says he’s going to teach CM Punk about respect. McMahon slides over the announce table and attacks CM Punk with the microphone.
I’m surprised Mr. McMahon didn’t tear his quads sliding over the table like that.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 9, 2012
This is funnier than it should be. Vince just sliding down the table.
— FreeKickStunner (@FreeKickStunner) October 9, 2012
Save those ratings, Vince!
— Saul Goodman (@TimExiled) October 9, 2012
Mr. McMahon pulls a Kendo Stick from underneath the ring causing CM Punk to retreat.
Vince pulls out a Kendo stick from under the ring, CM Punk should pull Steve Blackman from under the ring. #Raw
— Victoria (@prettyheartless) October 9, 2012
Kendo stick!? Bring Blackman out!
— Bill S. Preston, Esq (@Miss_Dani_Baby) October 9, 2012
CM Punk tells Paul Heyman to grab the WWE Championship and leave, but Mr. McMahon catches Paul Heyman and slaps him. McMahon stands in the ring with the kendo stick and WWE Championship waiting for CM Punk to get back into the ring.
Mr. McMahon is gonna destroy the Spinner Belt with the Kendo Stick!
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 9, 2012
If anyone deserves a beatdown, it’s that fugly ass title belt. #Raw
— Victoria (@prettyheartless) October 9, 2012
CM Punk finds a Kendo Stick and is ready to duel with Mr. McMahon. Mr. McMahon gets the upperhand with the Kendo Stick.
Vince McMahon is Channeling That Clint Eastwood / Gran Turino Strength!
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 9, 2012
CM Punk starts to beg off as Mr. McMahon comes closer with the Kendo Stick. CM Punk hits Mr. McMahon with a low blow.
NEVER GO AFTER THE BEGGING HEEL YOU OLD FOOL
— FreeKickStunner (@FreeKickStunner) October 9, 2012
Ryback comes out for the save CM Punk beats Mr. McMahon with two Kendo Sticks then prepares to hit Mr. McMahon with the Go To Sleep until Ryback’s theme plays and Ryback makes his way down to the ring.
Ryback? You’re not Steve Blackman!
— Bill S. Preston, Esq (@Miss_Dani_Baby) October 9, 2012
@3manbooth RYYYYYBAAAAAACK YOU WANT YOUR CHUNKY SOUUUUUP?!
— FreeKickStunner (@FreeKickStunner) October 9, 2012
CM Punk tries to run from The Ryback but John Cena grabs Punk and tosses him back into the ring. The Ryback clotheslines CM Punk then picks him up for the Shellshock, but CM Punk slips out then runs up the crowd.
CM Punk slipped out of The Ryback’s grip. That’s what you get for marching around like an idiot.
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 9, 2012
Mr. McMahon says that he hopes that CM Punk learned something about respect tonight. McMahon announces that CM Punk will face The Ryback or John Cena at Hell In A Cell. McMahon says that if CM Punk doesn’t make the decision next week, Mr. McMahon will make it for him.
CM Punk Has to Choose Between Cena or The Ryback? I Dunno, Facing the Guy Who’s Coming Right Off of Elbow Surgery Doesn’t Seem Too Bad Now.
— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) October 9, 2012
Mr. McMahon gave CM Punk a choice: Face Modern Day Hulk Hogan or Face Modern Day Goldberg?
— Langdon Alger (@KeepItFiveStar) October 9, 2012
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| Cue Curb Your Enthusiasm Music (Courtesy of WWE.com) |
So That Happened:
That was a fun RAW, my only regret is getting jailed.
— FreeKickStunner (@FreeKickStunner) October 9, 2012
#Raw was super enjoyable tonight. Vince McMahon, Team Hell No, and CM Punk were fantastic. #wwe
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) October 9, 2012
Be interesting to see the rating on that one. Good show I thought!
— Not Regal (@RegalSays) October 9, 2012
If the ratings for this show are lower than a 3.0 Mr. McMahon might put himself in a Hell in a Cell match Next week. #wwe #raw
— Ryan Shell (@DAsharpshooters) October 9, 2012














