So, That Happened: 07/30/12

WWE brings up the #RAWFire from earlier today.

Opening Segment: CM Punk comes out to his regular music.

CM Punk calls out Jerry Lawler for saying “Punk turned his back on the WWE Universe.” Punk gets on the table to confronts Jerry Lawler.

CM Punk explains that The Rock disrespected him until he is interrupted by Big Show.

Big Show says CM Punk wouldn’t be champion if it weren’t for him and that he deserves a WWE Title Shot.

John Cena runs out and attacks the Big Show while CM Punk looks unimpressed.

CM Punk, Big Show and John Cena are interrupted by the new RAW GM, AJ Lee!

Courtesy of

AJ makes John Cena vs. Big Show as the Main Event for tonight. Winner gets a shot at CM Punk at Summerslam.

Match 01: Alberto Del Rio vs. Santino Marella

Winner: Alberto Del Rio

Post-Match, Del Rio mentions that he is victorious.

Del Rio mentions  that Santino and Sheamus are beneath him and out of protest, he won’t be wrestling until his match with Sheamus at Summerslam.

Match 02: Brodus Clay vs. Damien Sandow

Vickie Guerrero comes out and tries to upstage Brodus Clay with her “dancing.”

Damien Sandow comes out and interrupts the foolishness.

Damien Sandow attacks Brodus Clay and leaves him laid out.

Winner: Damien Sandow (Or No Contest if you’re a Brodus fan)

Backstage: Daniel Bryan confronts AJ but gets told to shut up. AJ reminds Bryan that she’s his boss and calls him out on trying to get her committed to a mental hospital.

AJ says she’s wiping the slate clean by putting Daniel Bryan in a match with Sheamus. Bryan asks if it’s for the World Title and AJ starts a “No” chant.

After one (of many) Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar recaps, Cole and Lawler reveal that the Sheamus/Daniel Bryan match is #RAWActive and the fans get to choose the stipulation.

Backstage: Josh Mathews interviews Sheamus. Sheamus says he didn’t win many contests when he was younger, but he trusts the WWE Universe’s decision with the match.

Match 03: Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus (Street Fight)

Daniel Bryan tries to force the fans to stop chanting “YES!”

Winner: Sheamus

Post-Match, Sheamus celebrates till RAW comes back from commercial. Daniel Bryan is seen in the ring begging for a doctor while claiming his neck was hurt.

Kofi Kingston and R-Truth (In a suit) come out and try to get Daniel Bryan to leave the ring.

Daniel Bryan asks to meet Lil’ Jimmy.

Daniel Bryan “Snitsky Punts” Little Jimmy!

Gifs courtesy of notrealtalk

Daniel Bryan tries to get R-Truth committed.

Unfortunately, AJ interrupts Daniel Bryan and informs him that he’s the one being committed. Not R-Truth.

Match 04: Kofi Kingston vs. Titus O’Neil

Winner: Titus O’Neil 

Backstage: CM Punk tells John Cena that he has no issue with him, and that he doesn’t respect him. Punk says he doesn’t wish Cena or Big Show luck and tells Cena to let go of the fact that Punk did to The Rock what Cena couldn’t do in one year.

Match 05: Heath Slater vs…?

Rather than call out a legend, Heath Slater calls out a Superstar on the active roster. Cue…

Match 05: Heath Slater vs. Randy Orton

Winner: Randy Orton

Daniel Bryan Psychiatric Evaluation 01: The Doctor keeps asking stupid questions until Daniel Bryan snaps and keeps repeating “YES!”

Match 06: Chris Jericho and Christian vs Dolph Ziggler and The Miz

Winners: Chris Jericho and Christian

Post-Match, Dolph Ziggler attacks Chris Jericho with the MITB Briefcase.

Gif courtesy of steellove

Daniel Bryan Psychiatric Evaluation 02: Daniel Bryan gets an ink blot test, sees a Goatface then blames Charlie Sheen.

Touts on Touts on Touts:

Match 07: Tyson Kidd vs. Tensai

Winner: Tensai

Post-Match, Tensai continues to attack Tyson Kidd.

The referee reverses the decision.

Winner: Tyson Kidd (Via DQ)

Post-Match, Tensai abuses Mr. Sakamoto for no reason….

Daniel Bryan Psychiatric Evaluation 03:  Daniel Bryan is declared legally sane then attacked by his new “Anger Management Coach,” Kane.

No Divas Match Tonight: 

Match 08: John Cena vs. Big Show (CM Punk on commentary)

Big Show throws John Cena into CM Punk. CM Punk gets up, slides in the ring and kicks Big Show in the head.

Winner: Big Show (?) 

Post-Match, CM Punk declares no WWE Championship match because both John Cena and Big Show are losers. AJ comes out and makes a Triple Threat Match for the WWE Championship at Summerslam.

So, That Happened:

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