So That Happened: #RAW Recap (08/04/14)

RAW kicks off with The Authority.

Courtesy of wrestling-giffer

Here we go!#Raw

— ✨ 🍂 🕯Autumn🕯🍂✨ (@Batman_Infinite) August 5, 2014

https://twitter.com/Miss_Dani_Baby/status/496446336250572800

Well, at least they're all wearing black this time. No Bluetistas in the bunch.

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 5, 2014

This is a disfunctional family if I ever saw one.

— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 5, 2014

https://twitter.com/karaadora/status/496446369151057920

I guess Kane missed the memo to show up in Corporate Attire.

— Kyle Lewis (@KeepItFiveStar) August 5, 2014

Is Kane the Uncle Fester of The Authority? #RAW

— Stacey (@LittleSherbie) August 5, 2014

Triple H says we are two weeks away from Summerslam, the biggest PPV of the Summer and hypes the fact that you can see it on the WWE Network for just…

Courtesy of WrasslorMonkey

#RAW LOL at HHH flat out telling you to buy the network.

— Jeven W. 🏳️‍🌈🇺🇦👑 (@5CornersxSmootx) August 5, 2014

https://twitter.com/Miss_Dani_Baby/status/496446656137527296

Triple H pats himself on the back and says this could be the biggest Summerslam Card in History. Triple H hypes Bray Wyatt vs. Chris Jericho at Summerslam, saying you can see it all on the WWE Network for just $9.99. Triple H continues to talk Summerslam, hyping Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose, then reminds everyone that you can catch the match on the WWE Network for just….

Courtesy of WrasslorMonkey

https://twitter.com/loveablelinds/status/496446958329163776

For JUST Nine NinedyNine

— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 5, 2014

This episode of #RAW is brought to you by the number $9.99.

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 5, 2014

HHH is right, this might be the best Summerslam card ever. #RAW

— Sean (@Seanfranchise6) August 5, 2014

Triple H announces a Beat The Clock Match for Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins. Whoever beats their opponent the fastest gets to choose the stipulation for their match at Summerslam. The Beat The Clock matches will be Dean Ambrose vs. Alberto Del Rio and Seth Rollins vs. Rob Van Dam.

https://twitter.com/_katierose13/status/496447259538518018

#RAW RVD vs Seth? IM ALL FOR IT

— so anyway… (@5050Booking) August 5, 2014

Just like ADR, RVD is still here. Gotta keep those acronyms around.

— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 5, 2014

Stephanie McMahon, who is eliciting a sizable amount of boos, announces that tonight will be the official contract signing for her match at Summerslam against Brie Bella. Stephanie says if Brie Bella gets out of line, she has no problem slapping her and putting her in her place. After a loud “YES!” chant, Stephanie says “YES she will slap Brie.” Triple H chimes in that the WWE Universe can watch Stephanie vs. Brie Bella on the WWE Network for just…

https://twitter.com/Miss_Dani_Baby/status/496446993678360576

Courtesy of WrasslorMonkey

Oh My God! It worked. $9.99 is a catchphrase…

— Kyle Lewis (@KeepItFiveStar) August 5, 2014

Steph's bail was 9.99.

— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 5, 2014

The #WWENetwork costs:
$9.99
£5.92
1024 Yen.
7.44 Euro
18.05 Australian Dollars.
18.37 Canadian Dollar. #WWE #Raw

— ⚡️Wrestling News Source (@WNSource) August 5, 2014

https://twitter.com/karaadora/status/496447042726940672

Triple H continues to hype Summerslam calling Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship, the Biggest Fight Of The Summer. Triple H reminds everyone that they can see every moment of that match on the WWE Network for only….

Courtesy of WrasslorMonkey

Triple H would do well as a game show host.

— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 5, 2014

Let me get this straight… the network is $8.76, right? #Raw

— Chris Riddle (@ChrisRiddle) August 5, 2014

Mark Henry: *Watches the WWE Universe say $9.99* YA'LL A BUNCH OF PUPPETS!

— Kyle Lewis (@KeepItFiveStar) August 5, 2014

Randy Orton takes the mic and says the best part of Summerslam is his guarantee to the WWE Universe. Orton guarantees they will witness Orton systematically dismantling Roman Reigns.

When is Randy Orton going to exact revenge on the Table for not breaking the first time?

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 5, 2014

Randy Orton claims Reigns took away his opportunity to become WWE World Heavyweight Champion. Orton continues to hype the damage he did to Roman Reigns until Reigns interrupts him.

RUN KANE OR ELSE YOU'RE GOING TO GET PUNCHED IN THE FACE AGAIN

— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 5, 2014

https://twitter.com/InstantRandy/status/496447445987905537

Roman Reigns says Randy Orton claims the Viper’s Back, but that means he took everything The Viper had and he’s still standing. Reigns tells Triple H that since he’s all about great deals, he’s going to beat The Viper’s ass for free, tonight.

C'mon, Roman Reigns! Snakes don't have asses… right?

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 5, 2014

This ass whooping is about to come to you for just……………..you guessed it, FOR FREE. #RAW

— Sean (@Seanfranchise6) August 5, 2014

Damn an ass whooping for FREE. Reigns is all about charity.

— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 5, 2014

I like Roman's deal better.#Raw

— ✨ 🍂 🕯Autumn🕯🍂✨ (@Batman_Infinite) August 5, 2014

Triple H tells Randy Orton and Roman Reigns that they will fight at Summerslam, and not tonight. Instead, Roman Reigns will face Kane in a Last Man Standing Match. Triple H tells Kane that he’d better see a Demon tonight and that the match starts NOW.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 5, 2014

https://twitter.com/InstantRandy/status/496448637228945409

How Many Superman Punches Does it Take to Defeat Kane? A-One… A-Two… A-Three? A-One!

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 5, 2014

Match 01: Roman Reigns vs. Kane (Last Man Standing)

Oh, Kane. #Raw

— Tom – BAYLEYMANIA (@TQSherwood) August 5, 2014

https://twitter.com/InstantRandy/status/496449318396506112

Over under on Superman Punches to Kane's face. I say 3.

— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 5, 2014

Kane uses the Singapore Cane on Roman Reigns.

https://twitter.com/InstantRandy/status/496450658300465153

"Kane with a Cane! These jokes practically write themselves" says Jerry Lawler to himself.

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 5, 2014

Even Reigns can bleed.

— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 5, 2014

https://twitter.com/prettyheartless/status/496450799950921729

Kane just socked Roman Reigns in the jaw! "See how it feels!"

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 5, 2014

Roman Reigns starts to fight back.

TEMPEST KICK! #RAW

— Sean (@Seanfranchise6) August 5, 2014

https://twitter.com/InstantRandy/status/496452498199035904

Kane, if you stay down, you don't get a Superman Punch to the face. Win/Win!

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 5, 2014

Kane sets up a table. Roman Reigns goes for the Superman Punch, but gets Chokeslammed through the table.

Courtesy of hiitsmekevin

BREAKING NEWS: Kane has learned to block the Superman Punch!

— Kyle Lewis (@KeepItFiveStar) August 5, 2014

FINALLY! KANE DID IT! Superman Punch BLOCKED!

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 5, 2014

https://twitter.com/InstantRandy/status/496452769213988864

Roman Reigns gets to his feet.

Roman gets up at…………………………9.99. #RAW

— Sean (@Seanfranchise6) August 5, 2014

I Would Call That a NineNinetyNine Count, Actually.

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 5, 2014

Roman Reigns hits the Superman Punch on Kane.

Oh No! Superman Punch, Take 2!

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 5, 2014

Welp, not this time Kane.

— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 5, 2014

https://twitter.com/InstantRandy/status/496453619185483777

Mike Chioda doesn’t count Kane out.

Even Mike Chioda feels sorry that Kane got another Superman Punch to the face.

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 5, 2014

Roman Reigns hits the Spear on Kane.

Courtesy of wrestling-giffer

THE GUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SPEAR!

— Sean (@Seanfranchise6) August 5, 2014

DAYUM that's a big spear.

— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 5, 2014

Winner: Roman Reigns

Kane: *Reaching the ropes to stand up. Sees Roman Reigns is ready to spear him again…decides to lose*

— Kyle Lewis (@KeepItFiveStar) August 5, 2014

Really??

A spear, Kane?!#Raw

— ✨ 🍂 🕯Autumn🕯🍂✨ (@Batman_Infinite) August 5, 2014

YOU ARE A MACHINE @WWERomanReigns!!!

— Roxy Blade (@RoxyBladeXCW) August 5, 2014

Brock Lesnar/John Cena Interview:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0AIIusp_Ko

https://twitter.com/prettyheartless/status/496455003448811520
https://twitter.com/Miss_Dani_Baby/status/496454636828889089

Brock! PG Voice, Okay, Buddy?

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 5, 2014

Why u mad, Brock?

— Kyle Lewis (@KeepItFiveStar) August 5, 2014

#RAW Lesnar: "Why wouldn't Brock Lesnar beat the Undertaker? Cause he's some mythical God? It's not rocket science people"

— Jeven W. 🏳️‍🌈🇺🇦👑 (@5CornersxSmootx) August 5, 2014

"9 out of 10 Rocket Scientists agree: Brock Lesnar will beat John Cena at SummerSlam." – Brock Lesnar

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 5, 2014

#RAW Lesnar: "I'm gonna rip John Cena limb for limb. It's gonna be *struggles for a word* It's gonna be ugly people" |

— Jeven W. 🏳️‍🌈🇺🇦👑 (@5CornersxSmootx) August 5, 2014

https://twitter.com/Miss_Dani_Baby/status/496455708322594817

As Much as I hate to hear Brock Lesnar talk, I LOVE what he says!

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 5, 2014

https://twitter.com/iliza/status/496501954990714882
https://twitter.com/karaadora/status/496456215535566848

Lesnar is pretty angry for one of the highest grossing athletes in the world. #RAW

— Stacey (@LittleSherbie) August 5, 2014

https://twitter.com/Miss_Dani_Baby/status/496456178789281792

I hope after Brock Lesnar defeats John Cena, he forces him to eat a box of Fruity Pebbles.

— Kyle Lewis (@KeepItFiveStar) August 5, 2014

I think it's really cute that Lesnar believes Cena gets paid to eat Fruity Pebbles. As if they go "Hey Cena, here's $100. Eat this."

— Charles Nerd 🌈 (@CharlesNerd) August 5, 2014

"I'm going to leave him in a pool of his own blood, urine and vomit." – Brock Lesnar

Why you always gotta take it there, Brock?

— Kyle Lewis (@KeepItFiveStar) August 5, 2014

Of course Brock has to mention urine again… We were so close, Brock!

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 5, 2014

https://twitter.com/InstantRandy/status/496456365422804992
https://twitter.com/prettyheartless/status/496456654389792768
https://twitter.com/adamlucidi/status/496456330719150081

Fruity Pebbles versus Jimmy Johns in a Breakfast Blindfold Match at #SummerSlam! #BookIt

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 5, 2014

https://twitter.com/loveablelinds/status/496456487858749440

Jim Ross/Oklahoma Sooner’s Theme Plays

https://twitter.com/_katierose13/status/496457532047908866

I'm not falling for this, it's totally Sandow.

— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 5, 2014

Damien Sandow comes out in an Oklahoma Sooner’s Jersey.

#RAW Damien SoonerDow?

— so anyway… (@5050Booking) August 5, 2014

God Dammit, Sandow.#Raw

— ✨ 🍂 🕯Autumn🕯🍂✨ (@Batman_Infinite) August 5, 2014

Nope, just no. #Raw

— Chris Riddle (@ChrisRiddle) August 5, 2014

It Could've Been A LOT WORSE Guys! It Could've Been Oklahoma all over again.

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 5, 2014

Damien Sandow explains the Red River Rivalry, talking about the Oklahoma Sooners dominating the Texas Longhorns. Sandow continues to make fun of the Texas Longhorns, saying the Oklahoma Sooners will be victorious and holding the Golden Hat Trophy.

https://twitter.com/prettyheartless/status/496457766182354944

Secretly, we were hoping for Damien Sandow to come out as "Mr. Nine N. Nine" and price-tag everything as $9.99

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 5, 2014

Match 02: Damien Sandow vs. Mark Henry

Mark Henry returns in a Texas Longhorn’s T-Shirt.

STEP UP BRINGIT YESSIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 5, 2014

MARK HENRY IS BACK!!! #RAW

— The Mer™ (@mare_bare) August 5, 2014

Mark Henry!!!!!

— ΜΛΛL (@Osito1034) August 5, 2014

https://twitter.com/InstantRandy/status/496457901053992960
https://twitter.com/Miss_Dani_Baby/status/496457991617785856

Winner: Mark Henry

Welp. Jim Ross just turned off RAW.

— Kyle Lewis (@KeepItFiveStar) August 5, 2014

Welp. Thanks for coming, Damien Sandow.

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 5, 2014

https://twitter.com/InstantRandy/status/496458375375253504

Clear Eyes. Full Hearts. Hall of Pain.

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 5, 2014

Adam Rose vs. The Oculus Mirror:

An Oculus plug? Really?

— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 5, 2014

OMFG

— brianna (@ritahepburn) August 5, 2014

https://twitter.com/Miss_Dani_Baby/status/496458843770355712

Corporate Rose

— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 5, 2014

Adam Rose, your biggest fear should be GETTING A JOB, YOU SLACKER!

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 5, 2014

THAT GUY WAS A LEMON…and disease-free. #RAW

— Tom – BAYLEYMANIA (@TQSherwood) August 5, 2014

It explains a lot that Adam Rose's idea of a Lemon is a successful person who dresses nice. He must hate his dad.

— Charles Nerd 🌈 (@CharlesNerd) August 5, 2014

Winner: Nobody

Match 03: Dean Ambrose vs. Alberto Del Rio

Here comes……….The Greaser. #AmbroseAlert! #RAW

— Sean (@Seanfranchise6) August 5, 2014

After thinking about it. Ambrose's theme works well for a dude that just wants to come out and punch someone.

— Max Hunter (@KickStunner) August 5, 2014

Zack Ryder needs to form a tag team with Dean called AmBROS. #RAW

— Tom – BAYLEYMANIA (@TQSherwood) August 5, 2014

What if Alberto Del Rio wins?

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 5, 2014

The commentators continue to hype the WWE Network for only $9.99.

When everyone on #RAW is saying $9.99 tonight pic.twitter.com/8TmpTW1pwq

— JET (@HowserJr) August 5, 2014

WWE is really going with the Jay Sherman "BUY MY BOOK!" Method for the WWE Network.

— Kyle Lewis (@KeepItFiveStar) August 5, 2014

https://twitter.com/InstantRandy/status/496461643212005377

#NineNinetyNine Jokes are the new "Ja-making Me Crazy."

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 5, 2014

https://twitter.com/InstantRandy/status/496461935173308417

Alberto Del Rio kicks Dean Ambrose.

Courtesy of prowrestlingnow

HOLY HELL THAT KICK!

— ΜΛΛL (@Osito1034) August 5, 2014

ADR might've kicked Dean's head to Circuit of the Americas across town in Austin. #RAW

— Sean (@Seanfranchise6) August 5, 2014

Dean Ambrose hits a Tornado DDT on Alberto Del Rio.

Courtesy of prowrestlingnow

https://twitter.com/InstantRandy/status/496463782437072898

Since this match is over 9.99, does that mean our pizza is free? (That's how this works, right?)

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 5, 2014

Alberto Del Rio hits an Inverted Suplex on Dean Ambrose.

Courtesy of prowrestlingnow

Oh, good gosh! that suplex!

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 5, 2014

Del Rio killed Ambrose.#Raw

— ✨ 🍂 🕯Autumn🕯🍂✨ (@Batman_Infinite) August 5, 2014

HEY! ALBERTO DEL RIO!

IT'S NOT REAL. STOP TRYING TO KILL PEOPLE!

— Kyle Lewis (@KeepItFiveStar) August 5, 2014

Dean Ambrose catches Alberto Del Rio with Dirty Deeds.

Courtesy of hiitsmekevin

Alberto Del Rio screams out "DESTINY" before the end of every match, because he knows it's his destiny to lose.

— Kyle Lewis (@KeepItFiveStar) August 5, 2014

Winner: Dean Ambrose

https://twitter.com/InstantRandy/status/496464452368076803

Dean Ambrose is the best wrestler whose entrance song was played with a drum machine and two '95 Ford Taurus engines. #RAW

— Tom. (@NotThatTomGreen) August 5, 2014

RVD, Now you have to wrestle for 16 minutes. Are you up for that, bro?

— ThreeManBooth (@3ManBooth) August 5, 2014

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